by Nhys Glover
To get my mind off my problems I focused on my companion. What must it have been like to be declared an abomination, a freak of nature... Or was it a mistake of nature? When did he find out? What did his family think? He said his kind was seen as an embarrassment to their families. Did that mean they rejected him? What about the others of his kind?
So many questions. Did I always ask questions? Was that something Mina did? Or was this just an aberration caused by circumstances. Mayhap I was a docile, dutiful woman who always obeyed her father and husband and never asked why. I must be, why else would I agree to go into the nest of vipers with an innocent babe?
I sat down on a moss-covered stone next to Trace and accepted the rough bread and cheese he offered me. While I nibbled half-heartedly on the cheese, the bread being too dry to manage, I tried to think of the best way to approach my questions. In the end I approached it head on.
"How old were you when you found out you were..." I couldn't bring myself to say the word. It hurt something deep inside me. But how could it? I wasn't one of these men. I was a dutiful daughter of the Godling. A dutiful wife and mother. My heart ached anew, and I rubbed at the place between my breasts where a different ache now existed, tied to but different from the physical pain of engorged mams.
"An abomination? It is all right. You can say the word. We brothers see it as a badge of honour now. We are the Godling's secret army. We will be the ones who win back his kinglunds for him and put right the balance of nature. When we do that we will be formally adopted by the Godling himself. It is his promise to us. We will be legitimate magical sons."
"So how old were you?" I went on, still rubbing at the spot between my breasts that hurt so badly.
Trace looked across at me. In the gathering gloom his features seemed too dark to see clearly. I couldn't read his thoughts from his face and that disturbed me. Something was urging me to get to know this man. That my future depended on him, not just because he rescued me from the rebel stronghold but for some unknown reason I was yet to discover. But that was absurd. I didn't know any such thing. It was my imagination working overtime, trying to make this stranger into a friend.
"You ask questions most would consider rude, do you know that?" he answered with his own question.
I shrugged. "I do not know what is considered rude or not. I cannot even remember my name, no less social niceties like manners. Though I know they exist, the fact I know a word like manners says I do. I just don't know what they are. So bear with me."
He gave a little chuckle, the first really human emotion he'd shown, other than anxiety.
"You win, Cousin, you win. I was thirteen suns old when I started to notice that I could do things others could not. But because it was subtle, no one knew I had magic. I might have gone undetected if I had not started playing pranks on my brothers. I was the youngest of three and the other two were bullies. I always sported bruises and scrapes from as early as I can remember.
"Anyway, when my magic came in I found I had something I could use against them, and I did. Until it became so obvious that my father found out. Then I was sent off to Godslund and the rest is history."
I stared at him for a moment. He was being cagey about his magic. Why didn't he want to tell me what it was. I knew about magic, did I not? I knew it was elemental and that it was greatly prized. Well, greatly prized among the sons of the Godling.
"Did someone train you to use your magic?" I asked carefully, hoping to tease more information out about it. I knew he would not tell me directly.
"Yes. Though no one was quite like me, so a lot of it was trial-and-error. But they saw a place for me with their secret army and I enjoyed the work. There is something rewarding about going where you are forbidden to go, doing things you should not do. I guess that is a common trait for an abomination.
"Like right now I want to help you with your little problem. I know it is wrong and forbidden, but that only makes it more enticing."
He grinned at me cheekily, his white teeth were plain to see. I felt a rush of something I could not name − something that made me squirm. What was it? I pushed it down, my cheeks burning like fire. I knew exactly what he wanted to do to ease 'my little problem', as he called it.
"It sounds as if you like being bad. Most people like to be good. Or seen as good."
"How would you know?" he threw back at me with a teasing note in his deep voice.
I shrugged. "I suppose I do not. I do not even know if I like to be good."
His lips smoothed into a smug smile. "I can tell you that if you want."
Did I want him to tell me if I liked to be good? How would he know, anyway? We were not close family. We were strangers.
I chose to ignore the offer. I may not remember my husband, but I remembered banter and teasing like this. It was a prelude to sex and I was not about to have sex with a stranger, especially after just losing my husband. That would be an insult to his memory. If I could remember him.
"Why can I not remember?" I pleaded, feeling overwhelmed with grief all over again.
"I have heard tell that when I person experiences a terrible event they cannot handle, the mind just switches off and forgets. You cannot feel pain about something you cannot remember, can you? Or so it is said."
I thought about that for a long time. Long after we settled down to sleep on bedrolls his well-stocked beastlings carried with them. Trace had planned my escape carefully.
But, wait, if he planned to get my husband and babe out with me, why were there only two beastlings waiting? Surely there should have been three? And supplies for a babe like clouts. Something was not right.
So much was not right, I knew. Yet I was here and my only lifeline was this dark-skinned stranger who admitted to being bad and liking it.
Tomorrow I would think about it with a fresh mind. And mayhap when I awoke my memory would awaken with me.
I could only hope.
Chapter Four
FLEA
We asked the guards at the gate about the wagon that had just left. They looked at us like we'd grown extra heads.
"It's too late for wagons to be leaving now. 'Tis almost dark. You best be getting back into the festivities before you miss out on all the fun. Them airlings will wait for morn."
I could see Zem wanted to argue. He had seen the wagon − that was the new order of things − even though it was out of the natural order. That the guard claimed there was no wagon agreed with the natural order, but not with what we'd witnessed. It was chaos, and I could see him wanting to bring it under control. His agitation began to rise.
But haranguing the guards wouldn't do anything but get us in the brig for the night. So I dragged on Zem's arm until I got him away from there.
"We have to tell Airsha," I said. "This isn't right. They can't have forgotten about that wagon. It's magic or they're lying and it's something criminal they've been paid to look the other way about. Either way Airsha needs to know."
That seemed to settle Zem down. He could see that telling Airsha could gain us control in the situation. She was the all-powerful Goddess, after all. If anyone could right the wrong in this she could.
We hurried into the stronghold and retraced our steps to the Banquet Hall. I looked to the head table where Airsha should have been seated, but found only the Airluds. They looked restless and a little concerned.
Dragging Zem behind me, I headed for the table. A guard tried to stop us from approaching, but Darkin called him off.
"What is it, Flea?" he asked, not really paying me much attention.
"Something's off. We were just out in the courtyard and a wagon was leaving. It's not normal for a wagon to be heading out at this time of day. So we went to the guards and asked them about it. They claimed there was no wagon. Not that we needed to mind our business or anything like that, just a good-natured comment that there wasn't a wagon. But Zem and I both saw it. And there hadn't been a guard change or anything like that either. They were the ones who were ther
e when the wagon went through, I swear it." I was rabbiting on because I was nervous. I knew how stupid I sounded. But the more I talked, the more I knew there was something really wrong going on. The guards thoughts were the same as their words: no wagon had passed through the gate in a 'turn at least.
Darkin had remained frozen in his seat the whole time I talked. I was half waiting for him to break out into laughter when I finished up. Instead, he jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over as he did so. His brothers were on their feet just as fast.
"What?" demanded Rama.
"We need to check on Airsha. There's been magic used in the stronghold."
Rama blanched. I have never seen blood drain from a person's face so completely before. If it had been anyone but him, I would've expected him to faint next. Instead, he took off at a run.
"What is happening?" an Elemental Mistress at the high table demanded as the brothers disappeared.
"Magic. They're worried for Airsha." I threw back over my shoulder as I took to my heels. Zem was my shadow as we followed the disappearing forms of the Airluds.
By the time we reached Airsha's room, the door had been flung open and the brothers had piled in. They were standing stock-still and staring at the empty space as if they couldn't quite believe what they saw. Or didn't see. Airsha!
Rama angrily brushed past me and out the door again, disappearing into the babe's room. He reappeared moments later looking even more furious.
"Not there. They haven't seen her since she fed the babes."
"Where in the gods' names is she?" Darkin yelled, fists clenching and unclenching. "We need to search the stronghold from top to bottom. And this wagon. We need to send someone after the wagon."
"I'll go!" Jaron offered.
"Not alone," Dark said quickly, his eyes shifting from one side to the other as he thought. "You don't know how many might have taken her. Take Calun and Rama. I'll get the search organised here. Flea, you and Zem get the lads and start scouring the stables and the outbuildings. Don't leave a space unchecked. Go!"
"What was the wagon like, Flea?" Rama demanded just before I dashed out the door.
"Smallish with four good-sized beastlings pulling it. And barrels in the back with a cover over the top," I answered quickly, pulling up every detail I could remember. I checked with Zem to see whether he had anything to add. He didn't.
In the next moment we were all moving. I'd never run so fast, and I was still leagues behind Darkin by the time we reached the Banquet Hall again. While he filled the rebel leaders in on what was happening in hushed tones, I gathered the lads and told them our task. Just knowing Airsha was missing was enough to have all of them jumping into action.
For the next 'turn we searched the outbuildings with torches, checking every nook and cranny. We surprised a few couples taking a tumble, but we didn't bother to apologise, even when they swore at us. The Goddess Incarnate was missing, nothing else mattered.
When we regrouped, tired and miserable, having turned the whole place upside down looking for even a sign of Airsha, we admitted defeat. Together, we returned to the Banquet Hall where the guests were still enjoying themselves.
I was furious. They should've been out looking, instead of feeding their faces and drinking themselves blind. Didn't they know what had happened? Didn't they care their Goddess was gone? Was she of so little importance to them?
Darkin had come up behind me and read my thoughts on my face. "We haven't told anybody but the leaders. This'll have serious ramifications for the rebellion if word gets out that Airsha's been kidnapped. We have to get her back before the rumours start."
"But the more of us looking, the better chance we have of finding her!" I argued.
Darkin looked defeated and broken. "She's not here, Flea. A squad of guards have searched the stronghold from top to bottom. We've searched every corner. The Godling's men have grabbed her from right under our noses and taken her in that wagon. It's the only possibility."
"But how? She has her magic and her fighting skills. It doesn't make sense that they can just walk in here and grab her."
He pulled at his shiny black hair as if he wanted to yank it out by the roots. "Magic, Flea! You said it yourself. Somehow they used magic on her before she had a chance to defend herself. And then used it to get away clean. Had you two not seen the wagon, we wouldn't have a clue what'd happened to her. Or even when she was taken."
I stared at Zem, who looked ready to cry. He had made such progress over the last few days. A man was growing out of the frightened, addled boy. But now it was like all of that was gone and he was back to being the child who saw his parents killed in front of him. I wanted to scream and hit something. How could Airsha have let this happen? She was the Goddess' Chosen One. She should be invincible. Hadn't she managed to freeze two troopers, even with a magical dampening spell in effect?
It was the rebels' fault. They'd assured us the stronghold was safe. How had the enemy just waltzed in and grabbed the most important person we had?
I continued to rant and rave and pace as we awaited the return of the rest of the Airluds in the darkening courtyard. And my crazed thoughts and worries were shared by all those who knew what was happening, especially Darkin himself. He was clinging to sanity by a thread. My ears hurt from the foul names he was calling himself in his head for letting this happen. He knew he should have gone with her when she'd left the banquet. Why had he let her convince him otherwise? Damned independent woman!
It was well past dark by the time the men rode back in, looking dishevelled and frantic. Darkin moved forward to meet them and the recruits followed. He didn't have to ask if they'd found her. She wasn't with them. And their devastated expressions told the story.
"Found the wagon. Turned it upside down. The driver swears he saw no one. Hadn't even been to the stronghold. I wanted to beat the truth out of him, but Jaron said it was a waste of time. He was bespelled, just like the guards at the gate. The bastards were covering their tracks well."
"So if she wasn't in the wagon, where in the gods' names was she?" Darkin demanded furiously.
"We back-tracked as best we could in the gathering dusk," Rama told us, sounding scary − really scary. "But gave up and came back only when it got too dark to see. We'll go out again at first light and try and pick up their trail then. We'll find her, Darkin. By the gods, we'll find her!"
Zem whimpered softly, and I reached out to grip his arm. If he fell apart now I wouldn't be able to hold myself together either. Crying wouldn't solve anything.
"The babes will need to be fed," I said into the deathly silence that had fallen in the courtyard. "They'll need a wet nurse. Maybe two."
Darkin looked at me as if I'd spoken in a foreign tongue. Then he jerked a nod. "Right. Right. The babes must come first. Rama...?"
"I'm on it. The healer will know where we can find wet nurses." It was as if he'd transformed before our eyes from lethal madman into caring father.
Darkin turned to the lads who were milling around looking as lost as I felt. "You all need to go to your beds now so you can be up before first light. I want you out on your airlings searching from the skies. They can't have gotten far. Airlings are our best chance of finding her."
We all nodded and headed our separate ways, not even saying goodnight. I doubted any of us would get any sleep tonight. But we would all be there at first light ready to start the search again.
Chapter Five
AIRSHA
My first sense as I awoke was of protection. My mind was blank and still, but I felt surrounded by loving energy. As my eyes drifted open, I took in my surroundings. I lay on mossy ground beneath a huge tree in a small clearing. Beyond it was nothing but thick forest, the branches of which interlaced above my head, almost blocking out the rays of the early morning sunshine. Featherlings twittered in those branches and small creatures scuttled through the undergrowth nearby.
Where was the sense of safety coming from? Not the dark-skinned stranger sleep
ing across from me. Nor from any other person in the clearing, because we were alone. But that feeling − that sensation − only grew stronger the closer to full wakefulness I came.
'Be content, daughter,' I heard whispered on the still air. 'All is as it should be. You are not lost, but found. Trust...'
Fresh tears flowed down my cheeks, this time not of sadness but of joy. I had no idea who the voice belonged to − though it seemed feminine − but I believed it. I believed I was just where I needed to be, even if it was on the run from the rebels after my loved ones had been murdered.
My breasts reminded me yet again of my loss. I had woken once in the long night to milk myself enough to reduce the pressure and pain, but now it was time to do it again, before the flood-gates opened once more and soaked the now-dry front of my tunic.
This time, as I let the milk soak into the ground, I didn't cry. It felt more like I was gifting the earth with my nourishment. An odd perspective, I knew, even while I was experiencing it. And why did I feel as if the woods were surrounding me like arms, cradling me close against a loving bosom.
"You have a lovely back, Lady," a gruff male voice intruded on my peace.
Looking over my shoulder, I saw my rescuer watching me with lust in his eyes. I had to remove my tunic to get at my breasts, and there had been no time to replace it. For some reason, I felt the need to cover the nape of my neck with my hair. It seemed the ultimate indignity to have it revealed to this stranger.
"Why have you intruded on my privacy?" I snapped, discomforted, hating how he'd destroyed my peace.
"Just checking you were safe. Cannot be sure what predators skulk in this dark labyrinth."
I looked him up and down by the early morning light filtering through the foliage above. He looked rough, as anyone would after a night on the ground, but it suited him. That wildness I'd sensed last night seemed doubly apparent today. Wildness? Or was it badness?