by Nhys Glover
The last few days had been the most exhausting in my life, yet some of the most rewarding. Zem and me had done things neither of us would ever have thought possible. We'd taken charge of an elite unit of rebel soldiers and led them to find our Goddess. Not that it'd been easy, any of it. But it had been incredible.
Darkin had made a point of being there when the troopers were told they would continue their search for the Goddess with Zem and me in charge. They hadn't laughed in our faces while Darkin was around, but the things they'd said in their heads had my eyes bulging a little. I'd noted the possible ring-leaders and pointed them out to Zem. He'd nodded his agreement as Darkin finished up.
As soon as the Airlud leader had left, with the passing shot that the life of the Goddess and the success of the whole rebellion rested with us, things had gone downhill fast.
Zem had been nervous, which was both understandable and regrettable. What men, like the eight seasoned fighters before us, needed was a confident leader. But what they'd discovered they'd been given was a skinny, largely unintelligible youth who bordered on crazy. Every one of them thought Darkin was crazy too, probably from grief, to have assigned us this task. It made them fear the Goddess was truly lost to them forever, and the rebellion lost because of it.
In stuttering, mumbling words, Zem had laid out the plan, and I'd filled it in as best I could. When one of the men had made a crack about it being a total waste of time and energy, and his captain made no move to pull him into line, Zem had shifted into fighter mode.
It was funny to watch him. One minute, he was this lad no one would have trusted to tie his own boot-laces; the next, he was a confident fighter challenging the loud-mouth, and cutting him down to size with a powerful punch to his gut and a chop to the back of his neck, which sent the soldier sprawling face-forward onto the stone floor. Another comment, directed at the fallen trooper this time − calling him a poor excuse for a man to have been felled so easily by a whelp − had that soldier on the stone floor, too, faster than the eye could see.
"You don't have to like the fact I'm in charge, but you will follow my orders without complaint, or I'll beat enough heads in until you do. Got it?" Zem had said, looking around and making eye-contact with the trouble-makers I'd singled out − included the captain.
I'd seen Darkin standing in the doorway watching the show unobserved, and I'd grinned at him, giving him the thumbs-up gesture my Dah used to use when a catch had been good. He'd ducked out after that, satisfied we'd get on with our task without further trouble. And we had.
Within half a turn we'd found and enlisted a couple of hunters, who knew the woods nearby, and were heading for the spot Zem had selected as the connecting point between the wagon and the most direct way back to the Godling. We'd broken into two groups, me with one, Zem with the other, each following one of the trackers as they searched for what we most needed to find: evidence that men had recently passed through the forest at that spot.
The evidence was found quickly − droppings from two beastling mounts that had been standing waiting in the same place for some time. They'd been there as recently as a few days ago. The excitement at that news had been as alive as electricity in a lightning storm. We'd taken to the woods like anxious puppies released from our leads. Although the woodsmen had to call us all back before we interfered with any further signs of our quarry. And for the rest of the day we'd painstakingly sought and followed the path made by the two beastlings.
By the end of the day, Zem had been convinced we were on Airsha's trail and had sent word back to the stronghold. The three Airluds had arrived the following morning, crashing through the forest on exhausted mounts. A terse woodsman had told them, in colourful language, to get off their beasts and start taking some care of their surroundings, if they wanted to find their wife in one piece before she reached Godslund. That had settled down the over-eager brothers, and they'd soon joined the two groups who'd fanned out in search of more broken twigs, scat, and animal tracks in the leaf-covered soil. It had been painstaking, back-breaking work.
When Zem and I saw movement in the forest, just as the last rays of sunlight were leaving the dim green world, I started calling out. It was stupid. If Airsha had still been a captive I might have put her life in danger. It would certainly have warned the culprit we were on his trail. But, as it turned out, I did neither. And we'd finally found our beloved Goddess, barely standing and with a man who was barely alive.
I'd known pretty quickly that he wasn't what Airsha said he was. His thoughts and hers broadcast the truth clearly enough. As they did the fact our Goddess didn't know who any of us were, including herself.
It was heart-breaking watching the joy leach out of Rama and Jaron's eyes as they realised they had the body of their wife back, but not what made her their beloved.
Calun had fixed it all, though. Somehow, he'd convinced her to let him in. And once inside her head, the doors had opened and she'd remembered everything.
We'd then returned as heroes, Zem and me. I don't know how many slaps on the back we got over that night and the next day. It didn't stop once we were back, either. Word got out that we'd been responsible for finding the Goddess who'd been lost. No one knew how she'd been lost − that was a closely guarded secret − but once she was back, the fact she'd been missing was not.
By the time we went in search of our beds, we were drunk on ale and well-wishes. At my apartment door, which Zem insisted on accompanying me to, we shared another kiss. This time it was less strange and uncomfortable, probably due to the number of ales we'd consumed.
"You were amazing," I told Zem, and meant it.
"You were too. The way you could work out which soldiers were going to cause me the most trouble. It gave me confidence and kept the challenges to a minimum."
"And now the hub of our wheel is back, and chaos is once more under control," I pointed out happily, just in case he hadn't registered that yet.
He'd kissed me once more then, because it felt good and because he was happier than he'd ever been in his life.
But, if I'd known how short that contented happiness would be, I would've made the most of it. Because the next morning everything turned upside down yet again.
Airsha asked Zem and I to come to her quarters. There we found Trace and Darkin.
I wasn't sure what to make of the dark-skinned man who had stolen our Goddess. He had created so much unhappiness and upheaval. And yet, in the end, he had brought Airsha back to us and joined our cause.
There was nothing in his mind that indicated he was still with the Godling. His love for Airsha was plain to read, as was his resignation at never having her again.
At first I'd wondered if Airsha planned to incorporate him into her harem. Clearly, they'd had a sexual bond − I'd picked that up from both of them. And it had cemented his attachment to her as nothing else could. But Trace hadn't joined Airsha in her quarters last night. For the good of her existing husbands she'd chosen not to enlarge her harem.
I was so busy collecting this piece of gossip that I missed what was going on and why we'd been called in to their private quarters. It shocked me when Airsha dropped the lightning strike.
"So we thought you might be able to help him," Airsha was saying.
"Sorry, help who with what?" I muttered, feeling a blush burning my cheeks.
Airsha tutted at me and repeated what she'd been saying. "Trace is going back into enemy territory, so he can enlist his brothers in our cause. But we can't be sure they will side with us. We thought you could help him determine who would be open to changing sides."
"Go into Godslund? On our own? Just Trace and me?" I cried, feeling suddenly light-headed. Zem's hand was in mine in the next instant. I calmed a little.
I had been so sure life was going to get easier from now on − at least until the airling army was ready to fight. All I wanted to do was spend my time with Zem and Spot, flying and learning to fight. Instead, I was being asked to walk into enemy territory to spy on
spies.
"Not right into the army's base camp, just a hostelry on the outskirts. And no one will know who you are. The Abominations won't even know what you're doing. Will you do it?"
Zem's mind had splintered. I expected him to reach for his jacket to start counting buttons again. Instead, he glared at Airsha.
"She can't go in alone. I have to go with her," he said fiercely, as if I had suddenly become the hub of his wheel, and without me he would spin out of control.
Airsha flinched at the sudden ferocity of Zem's verbal attack. "Of course. Sorry. I thought that was a given. You would have to go with her to protect her."
I looked at Zem, whose mind had settled a little with this news, and then back at Airsha.
"I thought we'd be going with you," I said plaintively.
Airsha's face crumpled, and big tears trickled down her cheeks. She hadn't yet recovered from her ordeal, and I was just adding to her distress.
"I know," she said on a little shuddering sob. "And that is what we wanted, too. But bringing Trace's brothers over to our side is essential. And finding out who we can trust among them is even more essential. If there was anyone else we could send to do this, Flea, I would not ask it of you. And... And you can refuse. If you think this is too much for you, you can refuse."
Turning to meet Zem's gaze, I considered refusing. Airsha wouldn't hold it against me if I did. I knew her well enough to be assured of that. But how would I feel if the enemy infiltrated the stronghold, and men died because I hadn't warned them ahead of time?
With a defeated sigh, I turned back to Airsha. "All right, I'll do it." When Zem nudged me I added. "We'll do it."
☼☼☼
The plan was simple. Trace would go in and hopefully meet up with his brothers, one by one, as they came and went from their base, which was located in a town about ten leagues from the palace at the centre of Godslund. He needed to stay hidden, in case the Godling got wind of his return and had Trace hauled up before him to give an account of his failure. And failure would mean death. Trace had no doubt about that.
He would then tell each member of his brotherhood to meet him at the Crown and Thorn, on the edge of town, at the same time on the same day. A room at the back would be made available for their private meeting. In the interim, Zem and me would get work at the hostelry, so we could keep an eye on the comings and goings, and I could listen to thoughts that might give forewarning of danger.
On the day, we'd make sure we delivered food and ale to those that turned up, giving me the opportunity to listen in on their internal chatter. I'd signal Trace to keep back at the end of the meeting any who were not convinced. He'd wipe their memories then. By the time we left, we'd have some new rebel recruits and likely a few men with holes in their memories.
To speed up the process, we would ride airlings into a safe location after dark. Flying at night was not ideal, as I had discovered with Jaron when we rescued Calun, but it was better than being spotted over enemy territory and fired on. Though Trace was not a rider, Airsha would ask Bay if she would be willing to carry him to our destination and collect him after. She and Calun had no doubt she would agree. Of all the airlings, she was the most amenable and sympathetic to humanity.
If I hadn't had my thought-reading ability I would have been more worried about going off on our own with a stranger who had so recently been on the Godling's side. But Trace didn't have a dampening spell on him − I was getting good at being able to tell when one of those was in use − so I knew all his thoughts and feelings.
Over the short time I'd known him, I'd been gleaning what information I could from his mind. I knew that he was starting to feel respect for himself for the first time in fifteen suncycles. From his fleeting memories of his past, I knew he'd felt like pond scum when his magic was discovered. His dirty little secret found out. His family had shunned him and turned him over to the Godling's priests. Their horror at producing an abomination had hurt him worse than the actual shunning. As if he had done something intentionally wrong by being born a mistake of nature. Even his sisters had turned against him, though they had seemed unhappy about doing so.
For a long time he'd felt guilty about what he was. Then, under the influence of his fellow Abominations, he'd gained a weird sort of pride in it. A pride in being wrong, bad and unacceptable, and enjoyed the freedom it brought. His conscience had been given a well-earned rest.
But meeting Airsha had changed all that. In her eyes, he'd seen himself for what he truly was: a perfect creation of the Goddess. Not a mistake at all.
It had been like the sun coming up, that slow realisation. He'd been told the rebel figurehead was the worst kind of abomination. That her wrongness was destroying the fabric of the world. But he quickly came to realise Airsha was probably the most giving and loving person he'd ever met. Even without her memories, her character had shone through; her rightness had shone through in every way possible. And if the Godling and his priests were wrong about her, then maybe they were wrong about the nature of the world. About him.
He was canny enough to understand the politics of power. And once the first realisation of Airsha's nature had come to him, piece by piece, he'd begun to see behind the construct. It now amazed him how easily he'd accepted the beliefs handed down to him; beliefs he'd never tested for truth. Once he did, the whole of the Godling's view of reality crashed down. Leaving him like a child finding his way anew.
Loving Airsha had been − and continued to be, even though he couldn't have her − the pivotal point in his life. She had loved him and helped him love himself. He had never met a woman like her, nor expected to again. Which was sad, because that meant he'd have to settle for someone less as his wife. But the fact that he was now considering the possibility of finding a wife showed him just how much he'd changed in the short time he'd known the Goddess. Abominations didn't love and marry but Air Masters did. And he was an Elemental Master who could manipulate minds. It didn't matter who his father had been, it only mattered that his skill was a gift of the Goddess. It was no mistake. He was no mistake.
So he'd throw his unique skill behind the Goddess who'd gifted it to him. And who'd chosen Airsha as Her incarnation. Win or lose, he was now committed to the rebel's cause.
It was hard not to like him, once I saw past his insolent mask. And so I felt confident that he would do his best to bring us all home safely. Although, with the dangers facing us, I couldn't help worrying that his best wasn't going to be good enough. All it would take was one of his Abominations turning against him, and we'd all be dead.
We were ready to leave three nights later, Trace looking decidedly sick at the thought of flying so high. Or, more accurately, falling so far. Airsha and the Airluds came to see us off.
"If you have any doubts about your safety, abort, all right?" Airsha told me, holding my shoulders in her hands. "You are more precious to me than a hundred Abominations we might convince to join us."
I smiled at her confidently. "We'll be fine. I have Zem and Trace. Between us we're three very powerful Elemental Mages."
"Mages? I do not know that term," she replied with interest.
"People are using it for magical sons and daughters. I like it."
Airsha grinned. "I like it too. So you are three powerful Mages. That is very true. But if −"
"If there's trouble we get out. Got it. The airlings will fly over the drop-off point daily, looking for the signal to land. I know this, Airsha. We all do. Stop being such a mother henling."
She moaned her regret. "You make me sound like I'm a hundred and two. I am only two suns older than you."
"Two suns and the Goddess' many millennia. That makes you ancient. No wonder you look so old." I wriggled my eyebrows at her.
She swatted my arm. "You and Jaron are the only ones I let get away with that sort of insult. But your exemption only goes so far."
I grinned and leaned in to kiss her cheek, something I would never have thought to do a moon ago. But she had be
come like a sister to me. And I loved her.
Still blushing from my show of affection, Airsha turned to say her farewells to Zem.
"I know Flea will be in the safest possible hands with you at her side," she assured him.
He mumbled a shy reply and did his own blushing.
When Airsha finally turned to Trace, I saw her change. She stopped being the Goddess of All Creation and became a woman.
She took both of Trace's hands in hers and looked up into his face. He'd recovered remarkably quickly from his injuries, though he still grimaced in pain at times from the worst of his injuries. It would have been better if he'd had a few more days to get his strength back. But as Airsha and the Airluds were holding off moving to the new centre until we were safely away, the rebel leaders were pressuring them to make it sooner rather than later that we headed out.
"I am so grateful to you for everything, Trace. Be safe, please. If you have any doubts... take these two trouble-makers and get out of there."
"I know, I will. If I kiss you goodbye will your men have my head?" He threw an insolent glance the Airluds way. The glares they sent back were answer enough.
Yet Airsha laughed and stood on tiptoes to kiss his lips tenderly. "Your head is safe, I promise."
'It is not my head but my heart I am worried about. I fear it is breaking,' Trace thought, staring down into her eyes one last time.
And my heart broke for him just a little.
Chapter Eighteen
FLEA
We mounted our airlings and took to the air. I grinned at the way Trace clung to Bay's horns as if they were all that kept him in the sky. But it wasn't long before the wonder of flying firmly captured him, and he was staring around him like a child at a Godsday Festival.
When we landed several hours later, the moon had still not risen. Luckily, Calun had instructed our airlings where to go, because in the dark and from the sky, none of us could have done so.