by M. Alan Marr
“We didn’t mean any harm,” Matt says, and pulls a feather from his uniform.
Jen is half passed out.
Harrison continues his ramble, while Dev listens with the patience of a saint. “And then we went to another place that had a band, and after their band was done, Matt was like, I have a really great song, but they didn’t want to just hear it, they wanted us to perform it, but Matt didn’t want to go on stage alone, and he said he’d only do it if we all did, so . . . we did.”
Dev all but rolls his eyes. “And then?”
“That was it.” Harrison adds. “Sir.”
Dev starts to say something, then pauses and just moves forward to the pilot stations, leans against the top of the pilot’s seat, and stares out of the forward windscreen.
The pilot, trying to conceal a smile, turns slightly. “On approach now, Commander.”
Chaz comes forward and takes a handhold above the pilot’s seats. He whispers to Dev, “Did you get all that?”
Dev hears the Oasis group giggling in the back. Chaz shoots them a stern look, but doesn’t say anything. The transport slows to a hover at the end of the pier behind Dev’s building and descends slightly.
The pilot turns to Dev. “Stable on station, sir. Doors on your command.”
Dev nods, and the pilots activate the doors. Bross exits first and stands ready to assist the Oasis group as they leave the ship. One by one, the drunks stagger out. Bross prevents them from falling down the transport’s stairs. Chaz and Dev are the last to exit. Dev presses the switch to close the doors as he exits. Once the doors retract, he slaps the fuselage twice to signal the pilots they are clear. The transport powers up slightly and gently eases away from the dock before climbing away. Dev looks at the drunken assembly barely able to stand in the ragged formation on the dock. Harrison is holding Matt up. Jen and Steve look like they may throw up. Admonishing them now would be futile.
Dev turns to Bross. “Get them out of here before they go over the side.”
“Aye, sir.”
Dev turns toward the sea, folds his arms, and is very annoyed. He quietly watches the transport climb out of sight. Steve turns to say something but is instantly met by Chaz shaking his head in the negative. Steve looks down and then departs with the group, nearly tripping over the bollard near his feet.
Chaz waits until they are out of earshot before joining Dev at the end of the dock.
Dev speaks while looking straight ahead. “There is too much riding on this for them to be acting this way.”
Chaz agrees, but offers a quiet defense. “Dev, we threw them into this. In the span of a month, they’ve accomplished an awful lot. They’ve worked their asses off for you from day one. They were commissioned, they got rowdy, and probably got some bad advice from their fellow pilots back at the officers club. They didn’t stumble on that stealth mode by themselves. I didn’t even know we could do that.”
Dev takes a deep breath. “Probably so.”
“They were blowing off steam.”
Dev lets down his guard and chuckles. “Jen had a lampshade on her head.”
“Matt was practically in drag.”
Dev gives in and shakes his head. “Earth music . . . it will be all the rage.”
Chaz and Dev return to the building, where Bross is waiting in the lobby.
“Are they all accounted for?” Chaz says to Bross.
“More or less, sir. They assured me they could ride the lift unescorted, Commander. I think they confused their dwellings, but they’re all inside. The Chamberlain will call me if they try to go back out. Oh, and they apologized for their behavior, sir.”
“Thank you, Bross,” Dev says with resignation as he walks to the lift, then adds, “Bross, send a message to the Training Command. Let them know I’m granting our revelers thirty-one hours leave tomorrow.”
“Aye, sir.”
“Good evening, Bross.”
“And to you both, sirs.”
In the lift, Chaz adds, “I’ll yell at them tomorrow, Dev.”
Dev manages a devious smile and quietly confesses, “When I was commissioned, I woke up the next morning sitting waist-deep in a fountain.”
Chaz laughs. “Where?”
Dev joins in the laughter. “Not far from where we found them.”
chapter 19
STARS HUNGOVER
☆ ☆
The next morning arrives, and the four Ensigns of Oasis awaken in distress. They did not partake in Parting Shots to nullify the alcohol in their systems. In fact, they don’t even know about Parting Shots. The wrath of their morning-after is full at hand. The gentle waking alarm sounds like a klaxon going off.
“Make it stop,” Jen pleads. “Deactivate. Deactivate!” Raising her voice only makes her head hurt more. “Ohhhh.” She looks over and sees Matt waking up next to her in the same bed. “Tell me we didn’t have sex.”
“Gross. I don’t eat at the Y, no matter how drunk I get.” Matt realizes he is hungover. “Oh, girl, I don’t feel so good—” Matt rushes into the bathroom, where he sees Harrison throwing water on his face.
“Whose apartment is this?” Harrison asks.
“I don’t know, I just—” Matt throws up in the toilet.
Jen walks in, half out of her uniform. “Oh my God.”
Harrison sees Jen in her bra. “Oh, sorry.”
“Harr, get out of here!”
“Please don’t yell at me.” Harrison grabs his head in agony.
“What the hell happened last night?”
“I think they got us drunk,” Matt says, in agony, looking up from the toilet.
Jen scowls. “Takes a Yale grad to know that?”
“How did we get back?” Matt asks, and then throws up again.
Harrison thinks about the question. “What’s the train stop after Bari?”
“Uh . . . Bentley.”
“I think we were in Bentley last night.” Harrison wets a towel and hands it to Matt at the toilet bowl.
“Thanks, Harr.”
Jen and Harrison leave the bathroom. In the living room, Steve is passed out on the couch. He is snoring like a buzz saw.
On the view screen in what turns out to be Harrison and Steve’s dwelling, there is a note from Dev. Take the day off. Enjoy your hangovers. Dev.
“Oh, thank God.”
“A day off to recover.” Harrison groans.
“No,” Jen says. “I mean thank God Matt is riding the Buick in your bathroom.”
“Oh, shit.”
At the luxuriously late hour of 1100, Dev sends a message for the crew to report to his place at their convenience. And despite being a day off, they do as they are told. They enter Dev and Chaz’s dwelling, all wearing their flight suits. They stop short upon recognizing the wonderful aromas of cheeseburgers, pizza, and grilled cheese.
“Oh, what is that wonderful—” Jen sees a tray of fresh Franz Puffs on the table. “Franz is back!”
There is an excited welcome home to the flight attendants, who are all wearing off-duty clothes. Franz is in Dev’s kitchen preparing a sumptuous meal, an Earth meal, using Tertian ingredients. Harrison grabs Annette, and they kiss, and kiss, and kiss.
Franz smiles. “While you guys were learning how to fly again, we three were sent to trade school.”
“Trade school?”
Annette programs the house screen to play music. “We learned how everything works here. Franz went to culinary classes, and they were just as excited to learn about Earth dishes from him.”
“Si, si.” Milo beams, “They say the Franz-Puff will be everywhere.”
“What about you, Milo?” Steve asks. “What did you do?”
“I train as prima risposta… Uh… come si dice… first responder. Emergencia medical technology. So you boys need the mouth to mouth, you let me know, huh?”
“Uh, pass,” Harrison says, but gives Milo a big bear hug. “We missed you guys.” Harrison moves over to Annette for a second passionate hug and plant
s a long, deep, wet kiss, until someone clears their throat.
“Get a room, why don’t you,” Jen says.
“Yeah, gross,” Matt says. “I don’t need to see breeder sex. I may hurl again.”
Harrison breaks off the kiss. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Matt takes a cheeseburger off the tray and takes a bite. Heaven. He turns to Milo. “So how was it?”
“Ooh, they have-a very nice medical devices,” Milo says. “You guys be exposed to much radiation out in-a space. Someone need-a make sure you no glow when-a you get home.”
Dev sees that Annette has an electronic book on Tertian drive systems. “Annette, is this yours?”
“Yes, sir,” she says proudly. “Propulsion 101. I’m learning how to maintain them. Leftenant Idris may need an extra pair of hands keeping your fighters flying, so I’m your man.” She adds, “Don’t worry, I’ll still keep my galley fully stocked and your champagne at the perfect temperature.”
Dev looks around and sees that although they are happy to see the crew, they are still terribly hungover. Taking pity on their conditions, Dev pulls a dark bottle of Parting Shot liquid out of a bar cabinet in the living room.
“Oh God, no,” Jen says, queasy at the thought of drinks.
Dev laughs. “Not what you think, Jen.” Dev pours four small Parting Shots. “This will make you feel much better, trust me.”
A few minutes after the Parting Shots, the hungover officers are back to normal. Franz’s hangover special of fatty, cheesy comfort foods are happily being eaten by everyone.
“Why the hell didn’t we know about Parting Shots last night?” Jen asks in her usual way.
Dev smiles. “You guys were in rare form. I doubt it would have mattered.”
Chaz chimes in. “We tracked you down over seven hundred miles from here, at a bar in Alisela.”
Jen thinks about it. “Were we on stage?”
“Yes,” Chaz says. “And you were wearing a lampshade.”
“Oh God, I remember that.”
“Where’s Bross?” Matt asks.
“I gave Bross the day off,” Dev says. “He’s visiting his parents in the Northern Inhabitance.”
Chaz takes an empty tray of Franz Puffs into the kitchen and sees a giant pot on the stove. “Franz, it looks like you’re cooking for an army.”
“Wow,” Dev says as he enters with another empty plate. He looks at Franz now preparing a Tertian specialty. He sees a lot of shellfish and seafood. “Franz, are you making MerTodos?”
Franz smiles with pride. “I am, sir.”
“Oh, yum!”
“What is it?” Chaz asks.
“Tertian bouillabaisse,” Franz says. “Everything from the Sea. They don’t exactly have saffron, but they have this spice from Eridanus that’s like a cross between saffron, nutmeg, and MSG. It makes flavors just explode.”
Dev leans in and smells the bubbling pot. “Franz?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Do you know the story behind MerTodos?”
“I do, sir.”
Everyone files into the kitchen to see what’s going on.
“Then the appropriate place for this is the beach.”
Chaz cocks his head. “Really?”
“Absolutely.” Dev explains to everyone present, “MerTodos originated as a kind of collaboration on the seashore, back when people fished to feed themselves. It’s a story embellished over the centuries, but the short of it is that one person caught a single fish, another caught a crab, another only snagged seaweed, and so forth. So, they combined their catch, and everyone ate that night.”
“Stone Soup,” Matt says. “That’s the story of Stone Soup.”
“Correct,” Dev says.
“That fable originated here?”
“A lot of stuff you guys know originated here.”
“Like what else?” Jen says.
“Humanity, for starters.” Chaz laughs.
“That’s amazing,” Matt says. “I mean about the soup. And you guys still do it?”
“These days, MerTodos is a social meal where everyone can participate.”
“Should we eat outside?”
“It wouldn’t be MerTodos if we didn’t.”
Chaz looks around and sees the pilots are all dressed way too formally for a day off. “Come on, guys, you all look great in your shoulder boards, but it’s a day off. Go get changed, and we’ll have a nice day out on the beach.”
“Better pack extra bowls and utensils,” Dev tells Franz.
***
The pilots return to Dev’s wearing loose, casual clothes appropriate for the beach. Both suns are out now, and the afternoon sun is warming and bright, heating the planet sufficiently for the nights to stay above freezing.
Franz places the lid on the enormous pot of MerTodos and locks it in place, ready to transport to the beach. A stack of bowls and spoons is packed, along with napkins and beverages. Jen and Harrison each take a handle of the large pot and walk it, carefully, to a trolley brought up by the building chamberlain.
Dev and Steve build a fire on the beach and set up a sort of camp stove over the top, where the pot will rest.
“Do you have matches?” Steve says.
Dev pulls a small red cylinder about the size of a lighter from his pocket. He pulls the top off and directs the end at the logs and presses a button. A beam fires from the lighter and ignites the logs. “Particle ignitor.”
“Whoa. Keep that away from your eyes.”
“It’s got a biologic safety. It won’t work on Human tissue.”
In no time at all, the rest of the group is out on the beach near the fire. Chaz notices the Great Dane-size Tertian Feline watching the group from cover of the greenery. Knowing the cat will not approach the active group, Chaz refills his bowl and moves away and sits on the rocks by the pier and waits. The Oasis group watches as the great cat slowly stalks Chaz.
“Uh, there’s a mountain lion over there about to eat Chaz,” Jen says casually to Dev.
“Don’t worry,” Dev replies, “he’s not dangerous. They know each other.”
“Hi there, kitty cat!” Chaz says in his kitty voice. The large cat remembers him, of course, and immediately jumps toward him and starts snuggling with him playfully. Chaz puts his bowl down on a rock and scratches the cat’s neck and strokes his head. “You are such a nice kitty. Are you hungry?” Chaz offers his bowl to the cat. “You want something new?” The feline sniffs the contents once or twice, then gingerly takes a taste. The cat barrels over Chaz to the bowl. “Oh my God, you weigh a ton.” He scratches the cat’s fur while he eats, still overtop of Chaz. “You want something new and you weigh a ton.” He thinks a moment. “New . . . ton. Newton. Is that your name? Newton?” The cat looks at Chaz and gives him a throaty maowww. “Yes, sir, your name is Newton!”
“Did he just name that cat?” Jen asks.
“I think so,” Dev says.
“That is one big pussy,” Matt says.
The cat gives Chaz an affectionate lick right up the side of his face, then turns back to the bowl of MerTodos. Of course he loves it, it’s fish. But rather than lunging into a feeding frenzy, the feline simply eats daintily.
Dev and the group watch the interaction. “Chaz loves that Feline. It keeps the area free of rodents and crabs.”
“Crabs?”
“Yeah, there’s a species of yellow crab that comes ashore, and the Felines eat them.”
“What do they do with all the shells?”
“They chew on the shells and pulverize them. You can usually tell if a Feline lives nearby if there’s a lot of yellow sand-like material around. Their back teeth are built for grinding, so when they’re not playing or hunting, they sit around and grind the shells to dust. Just like cats on Earth, they are very fastidious creatures.”
“Commander, do we need sunscreen?” Annette asks.
“No, you’ll be fine,” Dev replies. “We don’t have an ozone problem here.”
“Is it
safe to go in the water?” Franz asks.
“Yes, perfectly safe,” Dev says. “There are some squids in there that are very curious, but they’re not dangerous.”
The day at the beach is a welcome rest from their hard work studying and being under constant scrutiny. Some of Dev’s neighbors visit the beach. Dev’s advice to bring extra bowls comes in handy as, traditionally, MerTodos on the beach invariably involves sharing with others. The bounty of the sea enjoyed by all on the shore, and visitors traditionally bring something (or get something) to go in the pot.
The neighbors also want to meet the Earth residents. Word of the Oasis pilots has made the news channels. The new friends recently made at Sig’s bar even manage a visit later in the day. Jen, make that Ensign Jen, sent a message to Gin, the guy she met when they first arrived on Trieste. He’s working, but he invites Jen to dinner later that night.
Ensign Matt spends most of the day with Beech, on the beach. He revels in the double entendre and manages to say, Come here, Beech several times.
Jen is having some water with Harrison. They watch the interaction between Matt and Beech. Jen shakes her head. “Leave it to Matt to find his Beech here.”
Beech, it turns out, is a doctor at a local hospital. He notices at once that Matt is not as skinny as he was when they first met a month ago. During some quiet time sitting on the rocks near the Feline’s area, Matt tells Beech about his former medical condition.
“Lucky you came to Trieste, then,” Beech says and smiles.
“Yeah.” Matt looks at him, and his eyes get glassy.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Dev . . . Commander Dev . . . saved my life.” Matt shakes his head. “So many people on our world have died. And I would have eventually.”