by Vivi Andrews
“I’ve begged you to say,” he said darkly. “I’ve done everything in my power to prove I deserve you, to be good enough for you. That changes now. I am sick of being treated like a child because I feel things strongly and my lion rides close to the surface. I am more than just my deficiencies. I deserve to be with someone who recognizes that. Someone who respects me in a way you never have.”
The last you broke something open inside him. Michael growled, staring into the greenish-brown eyes he would have sold his soul to protect only twenty-four hours ago.
“Maybe it’s you who doesn’t deserve me,” he snarled. “Maybe you aren’t some poor lonely creature who hasn’t been lucky enough to find love, but rather someone who refuses to give any piece of herself to anyone else. Maybe you are the reason you’re alone. Incapable of accepting love into your heart. Always in control. Always thinking. Maybe, just maybe, my passion isn’t a curse, but something to be admired. Cherished. I would rather break my heart a thousand times than live in the cold, safe bubble you’ve built for yourself.”
The smug hauteur in her eyes had chilled to something harder, but she made no move to push him off or speak.
Weariness weighed on him, that little speech more exhausting than running a marathon. But he wasn’t quite done yet. There was one last thing he needed to say.
“Mara, I love you.” There was no affection in the words. Just a flat, hard fact. “But if you can’t see that I’m worth staying for, I hope you leave tonight. Right this minute. Pack your things and go.” Michael swallowed, forcing himself to say the last words. “Do me a favor and never come back.”
He rolled away from her, shifting form with the movement and coming to his feet on all fours. He didn’t wait to see her reaction.
He’d clung to their relationship so hard for so long and now it was over. The finality of it felt strange, heavy and light at the same time. His chest was tight, his head floating.
Michael spun on his tail and ran. He didn’t know where he was going. Anywhere. Away from Mara. Away from the permanence of that last moment. Away from the end of them.
Chapter Eleven
Mara lay on her back long after Michael had disappeared into the night. There were no stars above her, only clouds. That seemed fitting somehow.
She didn’t know what had just happened. She’d shouted at Michael and run out on him. He’d chased after her and caught her. She’d been so certain he was going to offer some explanation, beg her to reconsider, do something to convince her to give him another chance, something. Instead…
Mara lay, stunned. The things he’d said…
Did she push men away? Hold them at a distance? No one had ever said it might be her fault before.
Why was that? Did they think she was breakable or something? A victim of her own romantic woes? She was an alpha female in a lion pride. She defined strength. So why did she have the feeling that the only person who’d ever seen that strength for what it was was Michael.
He had always treated her like an equal, but how had she treated him? Like shit. Like she was too good for him. Just toying with him, using him as a pretty plaything until someone better came along.
An image of Tria flashed in Mara’s mind and her stomach rolled. She was worse than Duncan. At least that philanderer had some sort of noble intentions toward Tria. He’d become her mate, the father to her children. Mara had never had honorable intentions toward Michael. She had used him from day one.
He deserved so much better than that.
The clouds opened up above her, the sudden downpour slicking her skin. Mara took her lioness form and rolled to her feet, shaking out her fur. She moved quickly in the direction Michael had gone, hurrying before the rain could wash away his trail.
He was a passionate lover, an intense listener, and a good friend. He could be so heart-wrenchingly gentle with the cubs, but he would be firm when called on to be. Michael was everything she’d always had on her list, but what’s more, he was a thousand things she’d forgotten to put on her list, including the man she loved.
And she had treated him like a cabana boy because of his age.
Mara had to find him. She didn’t know what she would say when she did. She wasn’t sure there were enough apologies in the world to convince him to forgive her, but she couldn’t let things stand the way they were. She had to at least try to win him back. For once in her life, she had to throw her heart wide open, expose herself to the possibility of heartbreak and just pray he still loved her enough to let her back in.
Mara tracked Michael’s scent in a wide arc around the compound and back to his bungalow, but he wasn’t inside. She didn’t even need to go up on the porch to know he hadn’t stayed there long. A fresh trail led away from the house. Mara chased his scent down another path until it dead ended at the garage.
The Cherokee’s spot was empty and fresh tire tracks cut through the mud. Michael had left the ranch.
The Bar Nothing was packed on a Friday night. Mara had to circle the parking lot twice before she found a space to wedge the truck she’d borrowed. She spotted the Cherokee with its distinctive claw marks on her first pass.
Michael was here. Her heart picked up pace to thunder like a jackhammer in her chest.
She’d yanked on a pair of jeans and the first shirt to come to her hand, not caring what she looked like as long as she found him. She buttoned an extra button on the shirt and shoved open the door to the Bar Nothing. The last thing she needed was some overeager asshole with a practiced come-on.
Find Michael. Beg forgiveness. Get out. That was the plan.
She pressed through the mass of bodies crowding the seedy bar. It was apparently prime time to get drunk and rub up against strangers in the hope of getting lucky. She couldn’t see three feet in front of her for all the people, but she shoved toward where she remembered the bar being, hoping Michael would be there.
If not for his height, she never would have found him. He had his back to her, those lovely shoulders encased in a tight black T-shirt. Those shoulders stiffened suddenly as she came up behind him. He must have scented her beneath the layers of beer fumes and cowboy sweat.
“Michael.” His name was a plea, the opening gambit of her apology. “Michael, I’m so sorry. You were right. About me. I should never have treated you the way I did. You—” Her throat closed off and she cleared it roughly. Why wouldn’t he turn around? She needed to see his face. “You deserve better.”
He turned and Mara’s heart sank. His blue eyes were cold, closed off and angry. “Go away, Mara.”
“I’m not leaving,” she insisted, standing her ground. She had to make this right. She had to. “I love you.”
Michael shook his head sadly. “Mara…”
A heavy arm fell across her shoulders, accompanied by the smothering scent of stale beer and horses. “Hey, baby, he don’t wanna love you, thas jes fine. You come on over here and love me all you want.”
Michael surged up off his barstool faster than thought, snarling viciously in the drunken cowboy’s face as his lethal claws snapped out. “Back off, asshole.”
A pocket of silence instantly descended around them in the noisy bar. The cowboy staggered backwards, stumbling in his haste, and fell to the floor. More heads turned in their direction. More curious gazes morphing quickly into frozen shock.
“Michael.” Adrenaline surged through Mara. There were so many people. Witnesses. “Michael, we have to go.”
Even over the blaring jukebox, Mara could easily distinguish the much closer sound of a shotgun being primed under the bar. “I’d listen to the lady, if I were you, friend,” the bartender said, with lethal calm.
Mara’s heart drummed in her ears, unnaturally loud. This is bad. This is so bad.
Michael dragged himself under control, his claws snapping back in, but the damage had already been done. Even if no one knew quite what they’d seen, this crowd of people had all seen too much.
Mara grabbed his hand. As soon as they to
ok a step toward the door, a path cleared for them, humans sideling out of the way. The Red Sea effect lasted halfway to the door. Far too long for Mara’s comfort. She was unspeakably relieved when the people closest to the door—the ones who hadn’t seen Michael’s magic act—had to be shoved aside.
They burst out into the parking lot, but even there humans surrounded them. Smokers leaning against the building, flirting in the relative quiet.
“Can you drive?” Mara asked urgently. “I brought a truck.”
Michael nodded sharply. “I’ll walk you to the truck and you can follow me out.”
She didn’t argue. Part of her kept waiting for that shotgun to chase them into the night. Even in the cab of the truck, zooming down the highway tailing the Cherokee, Mara couldn’t relax. She gripped the steering wheel tight to still her adrenaline-fueled shaking.
This was it. What they’d always been afraid of. The humans had seen them. Though Michael hadn’t gone all the way through the shift. They were just claws. The humans would probably think he was packing weird switchblades or something. Wouldn’t they? Special effects, maybe? Some Wolverine party trick.
Mara’s eyes flicked to the rearview. No taillights in the mirror. No one chasing them.
The humans had all been drunk, right? They’d probably think Michael was on steroids, but that was no reason to call in the National Guard. It would be fine. They’d be fine.
Mara flexed her fingers around the wheel. She wanted Michael here with her so badly it hurt. He was just a few yards ahead in the Cherokee, but she needed his touch. Some instinctive part of her brain insisted everything would be okay as long as she could touch her mate. She needed him.
Michael took the turn onto the ranch road and Mara spun the wheel to follow. The rain continued to pour down, even harder than before. The dirt road was a mud pit, but the two vehicles surged through the muck in four-wheel drive.
They were a mile from the main road, but still two miles from the residential compound when the Cherokee suddenly swerved off the road. Mara swore, slamming on the brakes as she saw Michael jump out into the rain. She rammed the gearshift into park and leapt out of the truck, chasing him away from the drive.
“Michael! Michael, wait.” He either didn’t hear her or didn’t care, continuing doggedly into the rain. Mara ran, slipping on the muddy terrain, closing the distance between them.
“I’m sorry!” she shouted. “I don’t know what else you want me to say.” Her foot slid to the side and she caught herself, slowing now that she was only a few feet from his back. “Michael, please. I love you.”
He spun abruptly to face her. “After that, you love me?”
Mara stumbled to a stop. She wiped the rain out of her eyes, shoving back her sodden hair. Had he thought she would change her mind? “Yes. After that. After anything.”
He nodded, but he didn’t step toward her. He didn’t yank her into his arms and make the world go away. She craved his touch, but he stood apart, ignoring the rain that drenched them.
“I’m sorry. What else do you want me to say?” There had to be words that would make it right. She couldn’t have ruined her chance with her Mr. Forever. She needed him. Mara’s tears mingled with the rain on her cheeks.
“Are you still going?” His voice was emotionless, so horribly controlled.
“What?” Mara’s heart lurched. Did he want her to go? Was that what he was saying? She swallowed thickly, blinking away rain.
“I need more than I love you,” he growled. “I can’t settle for a stay of execution. You love me, but. You love me, but I’ll never be good enough for you. You love me, but you’re still leaving me, looking for someone better.”
Mara rushed forward without conscious thought. “There is no one better than you.” She threw herself against him, pressing her face to his chest and wrapping her arms tight around his waist. He didn’t hold her, but she didn’t let that stop her. Seconds ago, she hadn’t been able to find the words, but now she couldn’t get them out fast enough. They burst out of her on a tide of uncontrolled emotion. “I need you, Michael. You’re my Mr. Forever. I need your passion. You’re the only one who’s ever made me lose control and we both know I could stand to let my hair down more often.” She looked up into his eyes, cupping his jaw in her hand. “You’re the bravest man I know. You’re never afraid of what you feel or what you want. And the fact that what you feel is always so close to breaking through just makes you more beautiful to me.” Her chin trembled, fear and hope and a thousand uncontained feelings making her feel more alive than she’d ever felt before. “I’m staying. Forever, if you’ll have me. Will you love me, Michael?”
He searched her eyes and slowly raised one hand to rub his thumb across her jaw.
Was that a yes? Please God, let it be a yes.
He bent until his lips hovered right above hers. “I couldn’t stop loving you if I tried. You’re my heart, Mara. You’re the reason I feel.”
His mouth closed over hers, perfect, passionate and sweet, and the rest of the world fell away.
He always kissed her with his soul wide open, but her eyes had been closed to the beauty of it until now. He loved her and she loved him right back. That wasn’t a new development. She’d been such a fool not to see it before. Love was there in the reverence of his touch. It added an extra light to the fire in his eyes.
But the love hadn’t softened the lust. If anything, the bite of it was sharper than ever. His hands were everywhere, molding her damp shirt to her body, but it wasn’t enough.
“Clothes…” She panted, tearing at his with eager claws.
“Fuck the clothes. Shift.”
They both snapped to feline form and back a heartbeat later. They would be exhausted later from all the energy they’d expended jumping from form to form tonight, but in the moment neither of them cared. All that mattered was naked, rain-slicked skin to skin.
They tumbled to the muddy ground and Mara’s animal side, so often restrained by logic, roared satisfaction at the primal, natural feel of the earth hard beneath her. Michael rolled onto his back, pulling Mara on top of him. She threw a leg over him and shoved herself up with her hands flat on his shoulders until she was straddling his stomach.
The rain drilled into her skin, chilling and cleansing, wild and fresh. Mara felt like a priestess in an ancient ritual. She’d never felt more powerful than she did in this moment, with her love’s impossibly warm hands burning a path across her body, stroking away the rain.
She slid down, impaling herself on him then giving a sinuous roll of her hips. Michael groaned and his hands gripped her waist. She flexed her fingers against his pectoral muscles and executed another slow roll. It was sensual and delicious, but tonight she needed more. She needed what only Michael could give her. He was the love of her life. The only man she’d ever trusted to take her to the edge of control and beyond. She needed him to set her free.
Mara released her claws and lightly scored his chest. Michael growled, his own claws unsheathing in response. When she felt their bite against her skin, Mara smiled. When he tried to push up and roll her beneath him, Mara shoved back, pressing his shoulders down. This time it was her turn to pin him down and drive him wild. She was a priestess tonight and Aphrodite’s handmaidens got to be on top.
Mara picked up her pace, taking her cue from the driving force of the rain. Her eyes locked on Michael’s. His expression was naked and hungry, and completely open to her. She watched for the signs that he liked that swivel and she ought to repeat that grind just so.
Lightning flashed on the plain, illuminating the stark lines of Michael’s face, straining and urgent. Thunder boomed, too close for caution, but Mara didn’t care. Lightning couldn’t hurt them. They were electricity. Pure, wild heat.
Michael thrust up into her as Mara drove down. Lightning cracked, near enough for Mara to feel the static in the air, its bright striations flashing across the sky. Michael arched beneath her, his muscles straining as he came. Mara watch
ed him in the strobes of light, captivated by the primal beauty of her lover’s pleasure, needing nothing more in that moment than his satisfaction.
Then he reached between them and flicked her clit. That was all it took to send her into an explosion of her own.
Michael groaned and made a halfhearted move to get up, but Mara’s body draped over his torso kept him down. “We’d better go tell Landon about the shitstorm I’ve brought down on our heads.”
“The humans?” Mara licked the rain off Michael’s neck with a slow sweep of her tongue. The storm had passed, leaving only a lingering dampness in the air. “Do you think they know what they saw?”
“Whether they did or not, we have to be ready.”
Michael rubbed his hand in a circle against the small of her back, and she closed her eyes to live in the touch. Even the sobering thought of exposure to the human world couldn’t completely dampen Mara’s spirits. “Will they come after us, do you think?”
Her head was pillowed on his shoulder and she felt him shrug. “I doubt it. It was a bar. People were drinking. By tomorrow they’ll all be rationalizing away what they thought they saw.”
Mara sat up so she could look into his eyes. The impossibly blue eyes. “How can you be sure?”
His lips curved in a familiar lazy grin, melting her from the inside out. “The Fates must love me,” he said. “I’ve got you.”
Epilogue
Dawn was breaking by the time the Three Rocks’ Alpha and his mate crawled into bed, after the emergency meeting to discuss the night’s developments.
Landon curled around his wife, breathing in her scent. “As glad as I am that your brother has landed his dream girl, it would have been nice if he could have managed it without the public display,” he muttered against her skin.
Ava shifted restlessly in his arms. “You don’t seem worried.”