by Suzy Shearer
EVERNIGHT PUBLISHING ®
www.evernightpublishing.com
Copyright© 2018 Suzy Shearer
ISBN: 978-1-77339-759-7
Cover Artist: Jay Aheer
Editor: Karyn White
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.
This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
DEDICATION
To my children—Ben and Elise, and Will and Marrianne—thank you for all the support you give me during my writing and painting career. I love you all.
For Mum and Dad watching from above—both of you always said “reach for the stars”. You told me there was nothing I couldn’t achieve. Well, I’m sure I’ve touched the Cosmos, thank you. I miss you so much.
JAKE
The Silk Rope Masters, 2
Suzy Shearer
Copyright © 2018
Chapter One
The ringing of his phone woke Jake, and he was surprised to see Kaden’s name come up on the screen of his cell.
He rubbed his eyes, still half asleep as he answered. “Hey, man.”
“Jake! Fuck. Steve’s missing. His plane’s crashed over the mountains, and they have no idea where.”
Jake was awake in an instant. “What the fuck? When? Where’s the search party?”
“We found out a few hours ago. I’m at the company offices with Ash and Avril. They called the search off because it’s too dark, but they said they’ll head out first thing in the morning.”
“They’re sure it’s crashed? Maybe Steven landed it somewhere.”
“Nah. Plane got hit by birds, we know that much and that his copilot was injured. Steve got through a partial mayday call before the radio went dead.”
“I’m coming back.”
“Stay there. Wait until tomorrow when we know a bit more. The search planes were only up for half an hour before they lost daylight.”
“Fucking hell! Okay, but make sure you ring me all the time with updates. I’ll arrange things this end to get out of here as soon as we know something definitive.”
“Will do. Shit. I love him, man. He’s like our brother.”
“I know, Kade. How’s Avril?”
“I don’t think she quite accepts it yet. Kind of spaced-out. Ash is taking care of her.”
“Give her my love and ring me as soon as you know anything.”
“I will. Bye.”
Jake sat up in bed, his mind a mess. Steven was exactly like a brother to him. In fact, Steven, Ash, and Kaden were closer to him than his own two brothers. The four had known each other since they were kids kicking cans in the street. He wouldn’t accept that Steven was dead until they found his body and lowered him into his coffin.
All through Saturday, Kaden kept him in the loop, ringing every few hours with updates. The last one had been to tell him wreckage had been spotted, but there was no sign of life. It wasn’t until late in the afternoon he got the call that made his heart stutter.
“They found them! They’re both alive!”
Kaden had then launched into the details of the search and how both men had been found alive but injured earlier in the afternoon and taken to hospital.
“I was with Ash and Avril at the Charter offices the whole night. Shit, I never want to live through that again.”
“I bet.”
“Everyone thought they were both dead, but no one voiced it. When the phone call came in that they were alive it took a few minutes before it actually sank in, and then the whole place erupted into cheers. Poor Avril, Ash said she almost collapsed. She didn’t believe it. She kept asking if he really was alive.”
“Not many people can walk away from a plane crash.”
“Someone from the Air Safety Board spoke to Warren. He didn’t say much, but apparently Steve took over the controls because Bradley was injured. Brad told them Steve was cool and calm the whole time.”
“Thank goodness Steve’s such a great pilot.”
“Yeah, he kept his head the whole time.”
“Fuck, I’d be screaming my head off!”
“Me too. So, did you say you’re coming back for a few days?”
“Yeah, I’ve booked a flight back in the morning. I’ll probably be landing at the main airport around one, means I’ll see you by two.”
“I’ll pick you up from the airport instead.”
“You will? Thanks. Do we know anything about their condition?”
“Not yet. Ash, Avril, and Warren flew to the hospital, and Ash said he’d let me know once they find out.”
The next day Jake flew home, and Kaden drove him back to his house, filling him in on all the details he now knew. Jake stayed for the remainder of the week and saw Steven once at the hospital and called in each day when he came home. He flew back to his work site, keeping in touch with his friends during the time he was away as usual. He and Steven spoke a few times a week, and Jake was glad to hear his friend was getting stronger with each passing day, although at times he could hear the frustration in Steven’s voice.
Just before he wrapped up his assignment after three months, he rang Kaden to let him know when he’d be returning.
“How is Steven, Kade? Man, that was scary. I can’t believe he walked away from a fucking plane crash. Well, not walked. But you know what I mean. I still get the shakes thinking about it.”
“Yeah, me, too, know what you mean. He must have someone watching over him. Old Steve’s been grouchy. He was like a swarm of crazy wasps, but at least now the cast is off and he can get around. He’s settling down to his normal self.”
“Yeah, I noticed that when we’ve spoken on the phone. The last few times though, he sounds like he’s getting back to being old self.”
“True. We can all be fucking thankful Avril could control him. She deserves a medal although I have to admit her patience was wearing pretty thin at times.”
“She’s an angel.”
“That she is.”
“I’ve spoken with her a few times when Steve’s been resting up. She loves him.”
“She sure does. Steve is one lucky bastard.”
“You’re not kidding.”
“So, when are you back?”
“Job is almost finished. I’m tying up the loose ends, and I’ll be back on Wednesday night, in time for the big wedding. I’ll drop ‘round the workshop on Thursday once I get organized.”
Jake asked after his dog. He and Kaden both owned brother and sister Irish Wolfhounds—by accident.
Chapter Two
Emily watched as her mother, Eliza, walked outside to enjoy the sunshine. In the past nine weeks she’d seen her go from struggling to stand, to a walking frame and to now, when she occasionally used a walking stick, and usually it was only when she left the house. Emily was overjoyed she had responded this well to the physical therapy. Emily finished making them both coffee, then took the mugs outside to join her mother. Her eldest brother, David, was coming over later to take their mother for the weekend, giving Emily some time to herself.
“Here, Mom.”
“Thanks, Em. So, what have you got planned for the weekend? Let me guess.” Emily had shrugged, but then her mother said, “Stay indoors, refuse to speak to anyone outside of family and don’t really speak to them. Oh, and generally be miserable.”
“I…” Emily could only stare at her mother in shock. She’d never once showed her anger to Emily since Emily had returned.
“I’m sorry,
sweetheart. I shouldn’t have said that, but you honestly do need to move on. You’ve locked yourself away, and life is passing you by. I’m a lot better. I don’t need full-time care anymore. You should get your apartment. I want you to go out and enjoy yourself.”
“I am. I will.”
“And how, sweetheart? How do you intend to do that shut up here with me? You hardly ever laugh any more. I wanted my daughter back, the one who lived life to its fullest.”
Emily knew exactly who that girl was, but she doubted she would ever return. Still, somehow, she needed to make an effort, if only to satisfy her mother.
“What if I go to that club I told you about? What if I finally take up the membership exchange?”
Her mother’s smile was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. She beamed at Emily.
“Will you, Emmy? Will you go?”
Too late to back out now, Emily nodded her head. “Tonight. I’ll go and confirm my transfer tonight.”
Eliza took Emily’s hand and kissed her fingertips.
“I’m so happy, Emmy. You need to do this. You always loved your lifestyle.”
“That was then. That was before.”
With a casual indifference that Emily knew belied her mother’s true feelings, Eliza asked, “Want to talk about it?”
Suddenly Emily was cold. An icy chill ran down her back. It was as if ice cubes suddenly landed on every vertebrae, and she felt the hair down her back stand on end. She couldn’t hold back her tiny shiver.
Eliza gave her hand a squeeze. “I understand.”
Emily couldn’t answer. If she did, the dam might break. Instead she stared ahead until she could push down every emotion and know she was under control again. She and her mother finished their coffee in silence then they walked back into the house. Emily spent the day working, trying to pretend, trying to act as if everything were normal.
David picked Eliza up around four that evening. He kissed his sister and gave her a hug when he’d settle their mother in his car. They had their usual conversation, the same one they had every time they met.
“You okay, Em?”
“I’m fine, David.”
“Sure?”
“Yes.”
She couldn’t disguise the tiny edge of anger in her voice. Emily knew everyone was worried about her, about her mental health, but she hated their pity. It was harder to ignore than if they pretended nothing had happened.
“I’m sorry, Sis. Will you stay for dinner when you pick Mom up on Sunday night? Trent really wants to cook you his special Thai curry.”
“Thanks, tell him I’ll be there.”
She watched as David got behind the wheel. Eliza wound down her window and shouted, “Make sure you go tonight.”
“I will.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
They drove out the driveway, and Emily turned aside. Going back into the house, she wondered if it was a good idea to go tonight. She’d put it off the past few weeks even when her mother was with either David or her other brother, Mark. The two men had been alternating between their households each weekend, which meant Emily didn’t have the full burden of caring for their mother. Now that Eliza was almost back to one hundred percent, Emily knew she had to make the effort.
Part of her knew it was what she needed. She’d hidden away for too long. Time to go back to the one place where she knew she’d been safe.
So here she was.
It was almost eight on Friday night, and Emily sat nervously in her car in the large car park. Would this be the same as either Threshold or The Lair? She hoped it was. If it was a lower classed place she definitely wouldn’t be coming back. Maybe she could find another club somewhere if that proved to be the case. Still she was hopeful. She couldn’t imagine the manager of The Lair, Bevan Fuller, transferring her to a lesser club.
Then she wondered for the hundredth time, What the hell am I doing here?
She still felt numb inside. With every emotion rammed down that hard, Emily couldn’t even cry. She actually knew how foolish she was, knew perfectly well the therapists, her family, were right. Time and again they’d told her she shouldn’t keep everything bottled up, should allow herself to grieve and move on, but she was far too frightened to face her pain.
Her weekly sessions with the therapist consisted of her sitting, staring into her lap or answering in monosyllables and refusing to utter one word about what had happened. In fact, she’d never cried, never shouted, never gotten very angry since that day. As soon as she’d woken in the hospital and given her statement to the police, every emotion, every thought of what had happened—her grief, every single thing, she’d pushed deep down inside her and refused to look at them. She held them down for so long that now she honestly couldn’t take the chance on remembering.
She was dead, and yet she breathed.
Sometimes in a lighter moment she thought of herself as a zombie. An animated corpse walking amid the living. But mainly Emily thought she was like a well-shaken bottle of soda pop with the lid screwed down tight. A slight twist of the cork and the whole bottle would vigorously explode, its contents scattering everywhere, never to be replaced. She couldn’t risk it, couldn’t risk her emotions, couldn’t set them free—the pain would be too great, and Emily knew she couldn’t handle it. She honestly doubted she would survive if at any time she was forced to face her past.
In the back of her mind she knew if she’d grieve, she’d be able to move on and live again, but instead she tortured herself by bottling everything up. This was her only escape now, coming to BDSM clubs—her haven. Sometimes she felt they were all that was left of her life, so at least she could vicariously live through its patrons.
It was strange, but those BDSM clubs now felt more like home than any house possibly could. Inside those doors in front of her she knew what would happen. She knew the rules, and she knew the outcomes. She knew exactly how people would react, how they would be toward her. She could sit and watch and know people would leave her alone unless she indicated she wanted company. No one would expect anything of her, and she could hide in plain sight. It was her secure place, the only one she had, and she knew it would protect her. It really was her safe house—impenetrable, sheltered. All those years she’d spent at Threshold only reinforced the idea. A club was her sanctuary, a place where, even if only for a few hours, she could pretend she was still alive. A place where she could hide among the living.
But at the same time, she wondered, would she ever be able to return to the woman she was?
The one who laughed, who enjoyed life and lived it to the fullest? Or was she destined to remain empty, afraid of showing any sort of emotion, afraid to face her heartache? Terrified of the floodgates she was sure she could never hold back if she allowed one iota of emotion, of agony, of her grief to slip through.
Finally getting out the car, she walked up the stairs that fronted the huge Georgian mansion. Clutching her coat a little tighter, she entered the warm foyer. Behind a desk a large, burly man smiled warmly at her.
“Good evening, Miss.”
“Hello. My name is Emily, Emily Miller. I believe the owner from The Lair, back east, contacted your manager about me transferring from there to here?”
“Ah yes, we’ve been told to expect you. Welcome, Miss Emily. I’m Stan. If you’d like to take a seat, I’ll let someone know you’re here.”
“Thank you.”
Sitting on one of the comfortable couches, Emily took a deep breath and sighed. She’d hoped it would feel like home, and now she knew it. As soon as she’d entered, a kind of peace had flowed over her. A few moments later a tall, lean man in his mid-forties came from a side doorway. Smiling broadly, he held out his hand as he approached her.
“Hello, Emily. I’m Alex Brown, the night manager. Bevan Fuller said you’d be arriving. Come this way, we can talk in my office.”
She shook his hand, then allowed him to guide her through a doorway and down a long corrid
or. Entering an office, he pointed to a comfy chair and sat nearby.
“So, Emily, all your paperwork from The Lair arrived a few months back. The membership fees have been transferred to us, which means all I need is your signature on our rules and regs, your limits, and it’s official.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
He gave her a clipboard and pen.
“Would you care for a coffee or juice while you fill things out?”
“No, but thank you.”
Emily took her glasses from her bag and went through the form. It was pretty similar to ones she’d filled from both The Lair and Threshold. She ticked appropriate boxes, wrote what her hard limits were, filled in where needed, then finally signed the pages. She lifted a paper from her handbag and handed it over together with her form.
“All done. This is my most recent medical certificate. I got it about a month ago.”
He witnessed her signature and put the papers on the desk. “Thanks, I’ll file it with the rest of your paperwork, Emily.” He gave her a small, printed card. “This is your login for our website. Just change your password once you’re in. I understand you’re a sub with experience.”
“Thank you. Yes. I’ve been in the lifestyle since I was twenty-three, so twenty-six years. I was a member at Threshold, up north near the border, for twenty-five of those years until late last year when I had to move because of my work.” Emily felt a chill come over her, but she forced it down hard and continued. “I. There…” Emily took a deep breath, settled herself then spoke again. “I had an accident during my move. I had a five-hour drive through a few states. Once I healed, I joined The Lair, but I’d only been there for less than two weeks when unfortunately, my mother suffered a stroke, and I came back here to care for her.”
“Oh, that’s not good. How is she now?”
“She’s a lot better, thank you.”