He sighed. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t have to. But I thought you might want the company.”
Nick managed a smile. “It could be hours. I’m fine by myself.” He motioned toward Mr. St. Claire. “Mr. St. Claire is here in case I need anything.”
Suzanne released his arm and stood. “Well then I guess you have everything under control.” She turned to go, but not before he saw the hurt look in her blue eyes. “Call me sometime tomorrow and let me know how it went.” Without another word she headed back the way she’d come.
Nick rose to go after her. Just let her go, man. He sat back down. Having Suzanne hold his hand while he waited for Grandmother’s surgery to be over would only add to his ever-growing confusion. There had been times lately when he found himself seriously considering what a future with her would be like.
But he wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. So it was best to just let her go.
***
Suzanne wished she hadn’t acted impulsively. She almost never did anything like that. Just showing up out of the blue at the hospital like she was really his girlfriend or something. What was I thinking?
She dashed inside the house and quickly changed into her running clothes. She was already five minutes late to meet Emily. It seemed weird to go to Sea Isle Park without Charlie.
Once she got to the park, Emily waved her over. She stood next to her BMW, stretching her legs. “Hey, stranger. Sounds like you’ve had some kind of week.”
Suzanne had given Emily the highlights and lowlights of the past few days when they spoke on the phone last night. “Yeah. It’s like I’ve been walking a tightrope lately.”
“How’s Charlie?” Emily asked as they started to walk briskly along the sidewalk.
Suzanne couldn’t keep the grin off of her face. “I talked to the vet earlier. He’s doing really well. I’ll get to bring him home in a couple of days.” Watching Charlie get hit by that car definitely ranked among the worst things that had ever happened to her.
“That’s great.” Emily glanced over at her. “I can’t imagine how scary that was for you. I know how much you love that dog.”
Suzanne nodded. “I had a huge epiphany though as I was waiting to find out if he made it through the night.”
“Ooh. I love those,” Emily said with a grin. “Spill it.”
“I had this weird thought that if I didn’t have Charlie—if I’d never gotten him from the pound—I wouldn’t have to go through those emotions. Because I wouldn’t have an attachment to him. You know?”
Emily nodded.
“But then I realized that having Charlie as my pet for the past ten years has given me more happiness than the pain that might come from losing him. And then I started thinking about the rest of my life and how I’ve been essentially staying away from a serious relationship because it might cause me pain. But what if the happiness from the relationship is bigger than any pain it could ever cause? Does that make sense to you? It’s just something I’m considering.”
Emily beamed. “It makes perfect sense to me. Kind of like that old adage, ‘I’d rather to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,’ right?”
“Exactly,” Suzanne said.
“What about the 5K? Was it awful?”
Suzanne laughed. “The best part was the Krispy Kreme doughnuts that were waiting at the end if that tells you anything.” She grinned. “Actually it wasn’t too bad. But I’m thinking running in a half marathon in three months is a little ambitious.”
“So we should stick to the 5K instead?”
Suzanne nodded. “Probably best. I mean, Nick beat my time and he hasn’t been training like I have. So I’m thinking I should probably hold off on an even longer distance until I know I’m ready. But if you run the half marathon, I will totally cheer you on.”
“I’m not exactly ready to run thirteen miles, and the way my schedule is, I don’t know that I will be ready by December.” Emily smiled. “But I’m glad you had someone to run with last weekend. How is Airplane Nick anyway?”
Suzanne frowned. “At this point, maybe we should use a nickname for him after all.”
“Did y’all finally have a bad date? Because I was starting to think he was some kind of Prince Charming with all of the doing and saying the right things he had going on.”
“Not a bad date. Just a bad case of stupidity.” She’d known going into this thing with Nick that his heart was off the table. Yet, she’d kept seeing him.
Emily stopped walking as they passed a park bench. “Let’s sit for a minute while you explain yourself.”
“Nick hasn’t made any effort to hide the fact that he’s out of here as soon as his grandmother recuperates. He’s never given me any indication that he might want a relationship with me.”
Emily snorted. “Except for kissing you and holding your hand and trying to spend as much time with you as possible. Just those little things, but who’s counting?”
Suzanne twisted her mouth into a smile. Her friends always had her back. Even when she didn’t make smart choices, they were on her side. “Sure. His actions may have said one thing, but his words said another. And his words were very clear—he doesn’t want any complications, and he is leaving as soon as he can.”
“You fell for him, didn’t you?” Emily asked quietly.
Suzanne didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Do I have to answer that?”
“Nope. Because it’s written all over your face.”
“I went to the hospital to sit with him during his grandmother’s surgery. I thought I would be a comfort to him, you know? When Charlie got hit by that car, Nick took us to the vet and sat with me in the waiting room. I was so thankful I wasn’t going through it alone.” She sighed. “I guess I just thought he’d want me there.”
“And it didn’t go that way?”
Suzanne shook her head. “Hardly. He wasn’t rude or anything, but he definitely gave me the impression that I wasn’t wanted.” Well, maybe he was borderline rude.
“You think he was just worried?”
Suzanne stretched her legs out in front of her. “I tried to believe that at first, but pretty soon it became obvious. As soon as I walked in, he tensed up. Maybe it’s just too much for him. I mean, you give me a hard time about being commitment-phobic, but Nick is way worse than me.”
“If that’s true, maybe you should just walk away. Because there’s nothing worse than being with a guy who isn’t capable of a real commitment.” Emily had gone through a broken engagement last year after her longtime boyfriend decided he wasn’t ready to settle down.
“I’m just trying to take it one day at a time. I mean, he’ll probably be leaving soon anyway. I wish he’d decide to stay here and see where things between us could go, but I’m not holding out much hope for that.” She sighed. “I do have a little piece of good news though.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“I’m meeting with a realtor next week.” She’d prayed about her housing situation ever since she learned that her rental house was going up for sale. And then the day before yesterday, while she was searching the local real estate sites for possible rentals, she’d stumbled upon the perfect house for sale. In her neighborhood. And in her price range.
Emily raised her eyebrows in surprise. “No way. You’ve put that off forever. I thought you didn’t want anything to tie you down.” Right after her breakup, Emily had purchased a condo in an historic building downtown. Her favorite hobby was home renovations, and she’d roped Suzanne into all kinds of do-it-yourself projects.
“I’ll bet you’re regretting that week you made me spend helping you to gut your guest bathroom, aren’t you?” Suzanne laughed. “Because if I buy a house I’m going to expect payback.” She grinned. “Seriously though, I guess I’m just finally at a point where putting down roots doesn’t seem so scary. I’m kind of excited about the idea of my own place.”
“It’s a big step for you.
I can’t help but wonder if Airplane Nick doesn’t have something to do with it.”
Suzanne shrugged. “Maybe. But not in the way you think. Nick showed me that it’s possible to care about someone but not lose myself. I’ve always been afraid of being one of those girls who just becomes a copy of whomever she dates. But Nick seems to appreciate me the way I am. Even if he doesn’t appreciate me enough to stay here, I believe I’ll meet someone who will.”
Chapter Sixteen
Nick helped his grandmother out of her wheelchair and into the waiting Lexus. He smiled at the nurse who’d wheeled her out. “Thanks for your help.”
“Our pleasure.” The woman smiled then leaned into the car to see his grandmother. “Now you take care of yourself Miss Madelyn. We’ll see you soon for your checkup, but in the meantime, try and follow the doctor’s orders, okay?”
“You medical people act like I’m going to go run with the bulls or jump out of a plane,” Grandmother said with a huff. “I promise to act like the old lady that I am, at least until Dr. Eubanks gives me the all clear.” Her eyes twinkled. “And then all bets are off.”
The nurse shook her head and glanced at Nick. “Watch this one, okay? She’s feisty.” She closed the passenger door and waved at Grandmother.
Nick nodded. “I will, and I know she is.” He smirked. “Where do you think I got it?” He climbed into the driver’s seat and glanced at his grandmother. “You ready to get home?”
She nodded. “I’ve been ready all morning. What took you so long to get here?”
He laughed. “Aren’t you the woman who used to remind me that patience is a virtue?”
“Patience is a virtue. But being cooped up inside of a hospital waiting for your grandson to pick you up tends to make one a bit cranky.” She looked over at him with a smile.
“Sorry I was a little late. I overslept and then hit traffic.” Nick merged onto the interstate and headed toward Germantown.
“I hope you overslept because you stayed out too late with that nice girl, Suzanne. She seems like quite a catch.”
Ever since he’d introduced them, Grandmother had been singing Suzanne’s praises. “She’s nice, but I didn’t see her last night.” Actually it had been a couple of days since he’d gone out with Suzanne. They’d had dinner a couple of days after Grandmother’s surgery and finally gotten to go to Houston’s and the drive-in. It had been fun, and Nick had even confessed to her about his sophomoric prank that got him banned from the outdoor theater for the rest of his high school career. She’d threatened to tell the manager and see if Nick’s name was still on some kind of banned list. They ate popcorn and held hands, and at the end of the night he’d come really close to telling her that he had strong feelings for her. But he stopped himself in time. Just because he cared about her didn’t change things.
Settling down wasn’t part of his plans.
“Have you given any thought to what we discussed the other day?” Grandmother asked.
He sighed. “Staying in Memphis isn’t an option. I’m really sorry.” He offered a grin in the hopes it would placate her, but judging by her expression, his charm hadn’t worked. “But I’ll visit more often, I promise.”
“Nicholas, please consider what you’re giving up. You’re at the age where it’s time to think about starting a life with someone. Don’t you want to have children of your own someday?”
He shrugged. “My life is fine the way it is. And I’m not sure about children. Maybe I should get a pet first.” He chuckled.
Grandmother didn’t look amused. “I’m not going to be around forever. And I know you’d like to believe that you don’t need anyone, but take it from my years of experience—life is better when it’s shared.”
He didn’t say anything as he pulled the car down the long driveway. “Maybe someday I’ll get to that place. But I’m not there yet.” He shifted the car into Park and killed the engine.
Grandmother stared at him with sad eyes. “Think about what your parents would want for you, dear. Do you think they’d want you to spend holidays on some cruise ship in the Mediterranean trying to pretend they never existed?”
He frowned. “I don’t pretend they never existed. I just try not to remember that chapter of my life.” He slid out of the car and walked around to help her out. He loved his grandmother dearly, but her butting into his life wasn’t helping her cause any.
Besides, last night when he couldn’t sleep he’d made a decision that could be the answer to all of his problems. He’d just have to see if Suzanne was onboard.
***
Suzanne paced the length of her living room until she feared she’d worn a groove in the floor. Nick had called an hour ago and let her know he was coming over.
Because they needed to talk.
Suzanne was quite sure that nowhere in the history of the universe had a conversation that followed the words “we need to talk” ever been successful. She didn’t even want to guess what Nick so urgently needed to talk to her about.
Except that one tiny, niggling thought wouldn’t leave her alone. Maybe he wanted to tell her that he cared about her. That he had feelings, real feelings for her. The kind of feelings that made him want to abandon his vagabond lifestyle and stay here so they could see where things between them might go.
Don’t be stupid. Suzanne hated to even let herself consider that something like that could be the motivation for his visit. He probably wanted to get her opinion on what city he should move to next or brainstorm an article he was writing or have her help him order flowers for his grandmother. It probably didn’t have anything to do with the murky relationship they’d struck up this summer.
The doorbell rang and she froze. She glanced down at her outfit. She hadn’t changed after work because the slim black skirt and white button-down shirt always garnered compliments. A wide black belt emphasized her waist, and her red heels gave the outfit a pop of color. It was one of those outfits that always gave her confidence, and considering what might face her on the other side of the door, she needed it.
She flung the door open. “Hi.”
Nick’s appreciative gaze told her she’d chosen her clothing wisely. “Thanks for seeing me. I know it was short notice.” He grinned and walked inside.
Charlie raised his head on the couch but didn’t get up.
Nick went to him. “Hey, buddy. I’m glad you’re okay,” he said softly. He gently scratched the dog behind the ear.
“It’s good to have him home. The place was way too quiet and lonely without him.” She motioned toward the recliner. “Have a seat.”
Nick sat stiffly on the leather recliner. “You look nice today,” he said.
She perched on the couch next to Charlie. “Thank you.” She jerked her chin toward the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”
He shook his head. “No thanks.”
“How’s your grandmother?”
He grinned. “Three days home and she’s ordering everyone around like a general. A couple of her friends from church have been helping me take care of her, and she’s keeping us hopping. I honestly think that woman could run the country if given the chance. But she’s feeling great. Her follow-up appointment went well.”
Suzanne nodded. “That’s wonderful news. I’m so glad to hear that she’s okay.”
“Which is kind of what I wanted to talk to you about….” Nick trailed off and locked eyes with her. “Look, Suzanne, there’s no denying that there’s something between us.”
This is it. He’s finally going to tell me how he feels. She nodded. “Right.”
“I’m so incredibly thankful that I met you on the plane.” He smiled. “Because you’ve made the past few weeks so much easier than I expected them to be.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “And I’d really like to stay in touch after I leave.”
Her stomach tightened. “Stay in touch?” It sounds like he wants to be my pen pal or something. Not exactly the declaration I was hoping for.
Nick chuckled. “I know you’re like the queen of long-distance relationships. So if you’re up for some cross-country trips, I was kind of hoping maybe we could keep seeing each other.” He smiled like he’d just offered her the moon.
“Long distance?” She should’ve known.
“I’m still deciding where to move next. I’m heading to New York for a little while, at least through the holidays.” He grinned. “So many people visit there at Christmastime I figure it’ll be impossible to be lonely.” He widened his eyes. “Hey, maybe you could come for a visit sometime in December. We could ice skate at Rockefeller Center and go to FAO Schwartz. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
She frowned.
“That face doesn’t say ‘Christmas in New York sounds fun,’ so what gives?” He leaned forward and rubbed her bare knee. “If you prefer someplace warmer we could meet in Florida. Maybe Disney or something.” He looked at her expectantly.
Suzanne worked hard to keep her jaw from dropping. “You’re serious?”
“Sure am.” He grinned. “Maybe Florida is the way to go. Who wouldn’t want a suntan in winter?”
She rose from her spot on the couch, her mind reeling. “I’m going to get some water. You sure you don’t want something?”
He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “No thanks. I’ll just hang out here with Charlie.”
Suzanne hurried out of the living room and into the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and took a tiny sip. Her eyes fell on the dry erase board that was stuck to the refrigerator. She still hadn’t moved past the verse from Jeremiah. She’d spent the past few months praying that she’d figure out God’s plan for her life. That it would be clear.
The only thing clear to her right this minute was that she had no interest in another long-distance relationship with anyone.
Not even Nick.
She squared her shoulders and strode back into the living room. “I appreciate what you’re saying here,” she said. “And I have no doubt that you and I would have a wonderful time in New York or Florida or wherever we met up.” She managed a tiny smile. “But I think I’m done with the long-distance phase of my life.”
All Shook Up (Memphis Moments Book 1) Page 11