by TJ Penn
It’s strange picking up Bailey’s things from her bed. The cop in me wants to leave it there and process the room for evidence, but the note left under one of her panties leaves little to question. Even though the words aren’t meant for me, they leave me with a sick feeling. There is no way I can leave Bailey to fight this sick asshole alone.
After checking that the house and yard are clear, I get into my truck and get comfortable. I know the girls would let me sleep in the house if they knew I was going to stay the night, but I much rather stay outside so I can cover the grounds as well as the house.
After a few hours of nothing happening, I decide to call an old buddy of mine. Maybe, he can give me some perspective of what’s going on here. It only takes him two rings to answer.
“Someone better be dying?”
“Hey, buddy, how’s it going?”
“Sam, where the hell are you? I’ve been searching two years for your ass?”
“Look, I’m fine, just had to leave. You at work?”
“Aren’t I always?”
“I need you to find me all of the information you can on a case involving a Bailey Mills.”
“Okay, give me a few seconds. Man, what have you done stepped in?”
As Ben gives me more and more details on what had happened to Bailey, the more my blood pressure rises. I haven’t known Bailey all that long, but to think of her going through all of that alone makes me sick to my stomach. Most men couldn’t have survived what she did. I ask Ben to send me over the file through my email, and he does after I agree to contact him again soon.
The rest of the night is quite, and I make sure I leave before the girls wake up. But, as I am driving away, I make Bailey and myself a promise that I’ll protect her. The past will not repeat itself, even if I have to kill him myself.
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Chapter Twenty
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Bailey
Even before the suns starts to shine through my curtains, I’m up and packing, diving deep into my closet separating what is a must take. What’ll be left, hopefully, can be collected later or can be donated. It's a must that I travel light at the moment as I’m not sure where I am going, or how long it will be before I’m able to actually settle in one place for any length of time. I have to be smart about this. I must stay at least one step ahead of Vincent at all times if I want to survive.
As soon as the stores open, I’m going to get a few gym bags to pack the items I’m taking. They will be easier to take in the car. I also need to add a laundry bag to my list.
I am concentrating so hard on what I need to pick up from the store that I don’t notice the dress bag, until I’m already taking it down. As I unzip the bag, I know I’ll find the dress I wore on my first date with Robert. I run my finger down the material, replaying the whole night in my head.
I can’t believe how out of place I felt that night, and how I would have loved to be anywhere else with him but there. The dress, and everything had been perfect; it was just me. I am not meant to fit into a world like that, where everything is perfect and prestigious.
It would have never worked between Robert and I in the end. Our worlds are just too different for us to have made it. It was nice to hope and dream for a time though. With a new found sadness, I reluctantly hang the dress back up. Maybe one day, I’ll come back for it, or maybe Elizabeth will have a reason to use it.
When I notice it’s getting close to eight o’ clock, I decide to dig my way out of the closet and get ready to go into town. The drive in is peaceful, just me and my radio. To an outsider, it would look as if I didn’t have a care in the world. I try not to think about all the days I’ll have like this in the near future.
Of the two stops I have on my list for this morning, the bank takes the longest, since I’m closing my account and drawing out all my funds. I had sat down last night and figured out the least I could get by on, and keep that amount inn my purse. I deposit the rest into Elizabeth’s account.
With everything on my list complete except for one, I get ready to head home. I have one last thing to do before I will be able to leave, but it has to be done later tonight. It will be the hardest to cross off of my list. I glance at my phone and see it is already noon. I definitely need to be heading back to the house. I need to talk to Elizabeth and make her see reason with what I plan to do.
I take my time driving back trying to soak up as much of this place as I can, while also trying to find the strength to face what comes next. I have to steel myself against what I know is going to be a down and out war. I’m going to have to show no emotion. If I do, she will see the crack and pounce on it. I can’t let her break me.
Unfortunately, the drive back doesn’t take as long as I had hoped. As soon as I make my way into the house, Elizabeth attacks.
“I thought you left. I went into your room and it looks like a tornado hit it. I was worried about you. Don’t you dare leave like that, you hear me.”
Why does she have to do that? A lump forms in my throat knowing the conversation that’ll follow after the words I am about to say. “Elizabeth we need to talk. Please, just listen to what I’m saying and try to see things from my point of view. My mind is made up. I just want you to know and to accept that I have to do this my way.”
I hold my breath waiting for Elizabeth to agree before I go into detail. When she does, it is like she already knows what I’m about to say.
“I’m leaving tonight, and before you run to pack, I am going alone. It is the only way I have to make sure you are safe from Vincent. I closed my bank account, and I have picked up a few bags for clothes. I am going to quit Dani’s tonight, and then I am leaving. I was going to wait till tomorrow, but that would be another night of putting you all in danger.”
“When I get to where I am going, I will let you know I am safe. It may take a bit longer than usual though because I am going to do a lot of stop and go to try to make sure Vincent doesn’t catch up to me. If, and only, if I get somewhere I can feel safe after living there a while, you can join me. But, for now, you need to stay here. I know it isn’t much of a plan, but it is all I have at the moment. I don’t want to make too many plans, that’s how you get caught.”
The explosion I expect to come doesn’t happen; instead, she just sits there looking at me with a look of acceptances upon her face.
“If this is something you think you have to do, fine, I won’t stop you. But, think about this. If you stay here, you will have friends to help protect you and to watch your back. I hate the idea of you being out there on your own. If you feel you have to leave, then can I ask one thing?”
“Now, this is just an idea. I have a bunch of postcards I have picked up. What if, you take them and mail them to me, say one a week? That way, at least I know you are safe and no one will know where you are. You can even use a fake name.”
“I still want to say; I don’t like your plan. It is too risky, but I do understand.” Well, that was a whole lot easier than I had planned. Maybe, I had over thought everything too much.
“Do you want some help packing? I don’t have anything better to do, and it’ll be more time I get to spend with you.”
“Sure I’d love some help, and the time together is a plus.”
We spend the rest of the day packing the clothes I am taking with me. It has been silent for the most part. Until, Elizabeth asks the one question I don’t want to think about.
“What if Robert shows up? I mean what should I tell him?”
What should I have her say to him? I love you, if only you hadn’t left me. No. I couldn’t do that to either of them. “As much as I wish he would, I don’t see him coming back around. He’s had this long to reach out, and he has done nothing. But if he does, just tell him to move on.”
The words are like a lead weight in my stomach. I don’t want him to move on. I want him with me, for him to love me. I have to stop that; I can’t let myself dwell on it now.
“Are you
sure? Anyway, think about it. I am going to get ready to ride with you. I’m guessing you need to go in to Dani’s tonight to quit. You know, I may understand why you are doing this, but I still wish you would just stay and fight.”
After saying her piece, she leaves me alone in my room with nothing but my thoughts. What can one say to that? I don’t want her to know the kind of evil Vincent is. I would love to stay and fight for my life here, but not at the risk of my friends. That’s one price that is too high to pay. I truly hope they all understand why I am doing this. If anything did happen to them, my life wouldn’t be worth fighting for.
The ride to Dani’s is quiet, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I know Elizabeth is trying to think of a way to make me change my mind. When we pull up outside, I can do nothing but sit and look at the place that has been my true home since I began this new journey in my life. Even when I changed houses or towns, I always made sure I was within distance of this place.
Getting out and walking up to the door feels like a death march. I look through the window, and see everyone going about their duties like it’s a normal day. For them, I guess it is.
“Are you going in?” I jump as Elizabeth speaks behind me. I am so lost in the scene playing out before me, I forgot she was there.
“Yeah, let’s do this.” Walking into Dani’s for the last time is bittersweet. It takes me back to the first time I walked in here, a meek little girl who had lost her way and didn’t know where to turn.
I couldn’t stay in the house Vincent and I had bought. It held to many memories, of too many bad nights. It would also be the first place he would look for me so I ran with nothing more than a few changes of clothing. Dani was working that night behind the bar. Her voice scared me, but at that time it didn’t take much. She had only asked one simple question though. “You need a job?”
I must have looked half dead, but that hadn’t bothered her in the least. “You can start tomorrow night. Now that you work here, you should know that employees eat free, so go order yourself something from the kitchen. I also have a room in back you can use until you can get something. Sound good?” Again, all I had been able to do was nod my head. That is the moment this bunch of misfits became my family.
I spent the next three months saving every penny I made to put down on a place of my own. I am not sure what she saw in me that night. But, I have never been happier than right at that moment when destiny led me to this little hole in the wall.
Anyway, the rest is history as they say. The memory is a good one. One, I had forgotten over time. It still brings tears to my eyes to think about how kind they all were to a complete stranger. I hope one day I’ll be able to pay their kindness forward to people who need it, like I did in that moment.
Sam’s working the bar again tonight. He’s the first one to take notice of me. Like always, he can sense something is off, so he just nods his head towards me and walks off to get Elizabeth her regular drink. I go off in search of Dani. I shouldn’t be shocked when I find her in the storage room.
“Dani, can we talk?” The words are like sandpaper in my mouth. She looks at me with those same knowing eyes, as she had all of those years ago.
“So where are you running to this time?” Dani questions me with disappointment in her eyes.
“You don’t understand. If I stay, every one of you could be hurt, or worse because of me. Do you really think I want to leave? I am letting go of everything that has made me who I am to protect y’all. I’m sorry Dani, but I do appreciate everything you have ever done for me. You have to know, without you, I would probably be dead. I would really like to sign the wall, if you don’t mind, on the way out.”
The speedy exit I had planned is ruined when I stop dead in my tracks at Dani’s reply. “The hell you will.” Shock has to be written all over my face when I turn to ask why.
“I refuse to let you sign it, because I fully expect you to return here. When you get tired of running and jumping at every miniscule thing, you will come to the realization that this is your home, and we are your family. While you are doing what you think is right, you are doing nothing but still letting him control you. When the day comes and you wake up regretting your choice, you come back. Your place will always be here for you. Now go on, if that is what you think you must do, but remember what I said.”
Dani’s speech brings me to tears, because she isn't one just to talk to hear herself. When Dani speaks, she means every word of what she says. The fact that she cares enough about me to say those things will forever stay with me. I give her one last hug and escape, only to run into Sam’s chest.
“So, I guess you heard?” I try to sound upbeat when talking to Sam. Surely, if anyone is able to see the logical thinking behind this plan, it’ll be him. Though, I honestly still counted on Sam reading me the riot act or something, but all he does is walk away shaking his head.
Why can’t they see I am doing this for them? I don’t want to leave my home, my friends, or my job. They are my family, and as much as it kills me, I know in the end it is the right thing to do.
After getting Elizabeth back in the car and heading for home, I come to the conclusion I have to leave now. As soon as I get home. If I don’t go right now, I know I’ll allow everyone to talk me into staying. When we pull up to the house, I go directly up to my room and gather my bags.
On the way out, I see the stationery on my desk that Robert had given me some time ago to write to him when he was gone on away games. Before I could stop myself, I sit down and start to pen a letter to Robert he ever decides to come to the house.
Robert,
I’m sorry you’re having to read this in a letter, and not hear it from me. I’m sorry for what I have done. I know it was wrong. The whole time I felt bad and wanted to tell you what was happening. After the game that night, I knew what I felt for you was real and that I could no longer take money from Ronda. I was going to tell you later that night. The fact that you overheard everything just speeded up my plan. I’m sorry about that, but I’m not sorry I did it.
If I hadn’t gone along with Ronda’s plan I would never have met you. I’d still think that a nice guy was rare thing, not the other way around. I hope you live a happy life, and you find someone as wonderful as you are. You have made the past few months wondrous, and I could never repay you for that. So, thank you. I’m taking my necklace with me, because you are still the light in my darkness, and I need that now more than ever.
Yours Always,
Bailey
After finishing the letter and sealing it in an envelope, I write his name on the front. I don’t know if he will ever actually come over here, but at least if he does, it’ll be waiting for him.
I had hoped to leave the letter on the table, but luck was not with me. “You aren’t that stealthy yet. What, were you going to do leave without so much as a ‘hey, I’m gone. See ya! Have a nice life.’”
Elizabeth is upset, and I can’t rightfully blame her. She sees my leaving as me running away. In a way, I guess it’s, but it is also the only option. Why do people keep making me repeat myself?
“I figured it was for the best. I know you aren’t happy with it, and I want to make this easier on all of us. I thought about what you asked about Robert though. I wrote him a letter for you to give him if he ever does come back around looking for me. If you’ll just give it to him, I would appreciate it. Now, come give me a hug so I can get out of here.”
Elizabeth moves with such quickness I almost miss her descent down the stairs. As we stand at the table hugging, I can’t help but notice how much Elizabeth has grown over the years we have lived together. She may think I saved her, but she actually saved me. We have grown so comfortable living here together; we hardly notice the other anymore. It will be strange being on my own again.
Pulling away, I give her one last smile and walk out of the place I have called home for the last few years. It is harder to actually pull away than I anticipate. It’s like I am leaving
a piece of myself inside, and I guess in a way I am.
I watch as the house grows smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror until it disappears altogether. Then, and only then, do I allow my tears to fall.
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Chapter Twenty-one
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I can see Robert standing there in front of the light house waiting for me. When his eyes meet mine, he gives me the most breathtaking smile. As I start running toward him, this feeling of urgency comes over me. The faster I run, the further away he seems. I can see him trying to tell me something, but I can’t understand him. After one final try, he turns his back on me and walks away into the gathering fog.
It’s then I see a figure come up behind Robert. I can’t see who it is. I scream at Robert, trying to get him to turn around. I can’t see what is happening. I try to fight my way to him. Where did this fog come from? It has grown thicker the closer I get to the place I last saw Robert and the figure.
When I finally reach Robert, he is laying on his back. His lifeless eyes stare up at the sky. I fall on my knees next to him, yelling for someone to help me. I look down. My hands are covered in Robert’s blood. I’m trying to understand where it is coming from when a voice comes from the fog.
“No one can help you now.”
I jerk awake with Robert’s name still on my lips, and my hand reaching for my phone. The nightmares are nothing new. I have been having them every night for a month. Some nights are better than others, but tonight is the worst yet. It’s like I can still feel his blood on my hands. My fingers itch to call him just to make sure he is safe and alive. I know it is a bad idea. It is just asking for more heartache so I put the phone back down.
I get out of the car to stretch my sore, stiff muscles. I really didn’t want to head out of this park until later in the morning, but since I’m up, I might as well go ahead and get a head start on the day.