by T. S. Joyce
Annalise had just taken Second. Shit.
What was he supposed to do? How could he help her?
In his pocket, Jax’s phone rang.
The name on the caller ID drew gooseflesh on his entire body.
Beaston.
Jax brought the phone slowly up to his ear, eyes on his mate as she went to war with the other two panthers.
“Jax, bring her to me,” Beaston said in that low, gravelly, feral voice of his. “Bring her home.”
Chapter Ten
Aching muscles woke Annalise. When she cracked her sleepy eyes open, only dark gray light filled the room. She hadn’t been sleeping well, and every cell in her body was on fire. She-Devil was killing her.
The scent of Jax’s cologne and fur brushed her senses, and she struggled up onto locked arms in her bed.
He sat in the corner, no chair, just sat with his back against the wall, his knees bent, elbows resting on them, hands linked behind his head, black hair mussed and looking like he hadn’t slept in days. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever laid eyes on.
“Tell me you’re real,” she murmured. “Tell me you brought my heart back.”
Without a word, Jax stood up to his full height and sauntered over to her, then slipped under the covers behind her and pulled her against his chest. His lips stayed gentle on the back of her neck, and then he did something beastly and perfect. He sank his teeth into her skin there so hard and fast, she had no time to flinch.
As quickly as he’d bitten her, he released her torn flesh and licked the warmth that trailed down her back. Over and over he ran his tongue until the pain eased and the bleeding stopped.
My monster. Mine.
Feeling raw and broken and so ashamed she’d let him claim her before she explained how doomed she was, she turned over in his arms and snuggled as close as possible to him, just to selfishly absorb the feeling of safety he gave her before she admitted something that would make him run.
He wrapped his arms tight around her back. So warm and strong, his pecs were hard against her cheek.
“Everything is going to be okay,” he murmured in the darkness before dawn.
That was the most beautiful combination of six words in the English language, but for someone like her, they couldn’t ever be true. “It’s not,” she said. “I hurt people. I can’t stop hurting people. I don’t have any control of the cat. I never did.”
“It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you.”
And because she needed to purge her soul to the man she trusted more than anyone, she told him her deepest, darkest secret. “A man named Brody asked me on a date. And afterward, he kissed me at my door like a gentleman. And when I said goodnight and tried to shut the door on him, he forced his way in, took me to my bedroom, and hurt me.”
Against her, Jax went rigid, but stayed silent.
“And while he was hurting me, he bit me. She-Devil came out immediately.”
“He’ll die for what he did,” Jax murmured. “I’m already hunting him.”
Her face crumpled, and she buried her face against him to hide her weak tears. “You don’t have to. She-Devil killed him.”
There was a beat of stunned silence, and then Jax soothed her with a, “Shhhhh. Beautiful, brawling, courageous, badass Second of the Red Havoc Crew, it wasn’t murder. It was justice. She-Devil followed the rules of our people. She did good.”
“She was born of violence, and her first act was awful, Jax. And now I can feel the good parts of me shrinking to nothing. I know what’s coming. I see what she does at night, and in the daytime, too. I’m there, in the smallest corner of her messed up mind. I can see what she does, and I can’t stop her. I want you so bad, but I’m worse than ever now. Ben will put me down soon. He has to. And sometimes, when I’m exhausted and my body hurts like hell from the constant Changing, I think I’ll be relieved when he does.”
“Don’t talk like that. You’re on a journey, Anna. You’ve got yourself through the hard part. You’re tired and you’re limping. But you aren’t doing this alone anymore. I’m here. I’ll carry you until you can stand on your own two feet again. That bite mark on your neck? That wasn’t Titan’s pledge to She-Devil. That’s me, Jaxon Barns, telling you I’m fucking in this with you. I’ll carry you on my goddamn back until you can walk on your own again. But I will not allow you to be put down. You aren’t done with this life yet, little badass. You just got a big old beast put inside you, and you have to learn how to work with her.”
“How?”
“With support. You have Samuel and Red Havoc. And first and foremost, you have me for as long as you want. For every breath, every smile, every tear, I’ll be here right here beside you. Leaving didn’t fix anything for either of us. It hurt She-Devil, it hurt you, it hurt me, it hurt Titan. I tried to let you go so you could have a better life, but it didn’t take. So, this is where we dig our toes in against the hurricane that is your monster kitty and walk through the damn storm together. Deal? No quitting. I won’t let you.”
It felt so damn good to hear him pledge to weather her storm. So damn good. “I’ve done this alone this whole time,” she whispered. “It was awful. I had to let go of all my friends and family except for Samuel. If I hadn’t had you all those months, texting me, making me laugh and feel normal for precious minutes at a time, I would’ve buckled under She-Devil. You’ve been propping me up this whole time, and when you left last week, I fell.”
“I won’t let you fall again, Anna,” Jax promised, cupping her cheeks. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I swear to you I’ll keep you propped up until you get your strength back. Even if I have to stay awake every night to keep She-Devil safe, I’ll do it.” He swallowed hard and lowered his voice. “I couldn’t ever figure out why I was given Titan. I used to be so angry about him. Just…pissed off at whatever power decided that I needed to be the one to manage him. But last night, I was watching you fight your crew, watching how tough you are, and this thought filled my head. Maybe I’m Titan because you need me to be. You aren’t alone anymore. You never will be again.” His hands gentle on her cheeks, he eased her back and dipped his lips to hers. He drank her in slowly, his lips moving smoothly against hers. Slowly, he disengaged from the kiss and arched his back, drew her lips to the place right over his heart. “Your turn, Anna.”
“You want my bite? Even after what I told you?”
Jaxon’s smile was slow and evicted the sadness from his expression. “Now I know we match, Kitty. I didn’t want to be the only monster between us, dragging you down for always.”
“Now you know I’m a monster, too.”
“A hot monster.” His white teeth flashed. “A hot monster who needs to stop calling those damn lions into the territory or I’m gonna have to get all murdery. If you want dick, I’m your man.”
Annalise snorted a surprised laugh. “Didn’t you know those calls weren’t for the lions? She-Devil has been trying to get back to the place we were first together. She’s been hunting for you. She didn’t understand why you left.”
“Well,” he murmured, voice going low and soft. “Make it to where I can never leave again.”
Annalise searched his eyes, but there was nothing but sincerity in the soft brown color there. Inhaling deeply, she smiled up at him and said, “I like you.” She waited for his answering smile before she sank her teeth into his pec, right over his heart. He held her head closer, encouraging her, and didn’t flinch or gasp at the pain. That was for her. He was making it easier for her to hurt him. Good mate.
She pulled away and wiped the iron-tasting warmth from her lips with the back of her hand. “Now I’m truly a monster,” she whispered.
Jax shook his head slowly and looked down at her with the proudest expression on his face. He ran a light touch over the painful bite on her neck. “No, Anna. Now you’re claimed. Get on up, grab a few pair of those sexy granny panties, and pack a bag.”
“Why?”
“Because Ben h
as released you to me until I can get you stronger.”
Annalise frowned in confusion and drew back, searched his face in the early morning light. “How will you do that?”
“With help.”
“From who?”
Jaxon’s smile stretched his face. “From the Gray Backs.”
Chapter Eleven
Annalise wrung her hands nervously. A day and a half drive had turned into two and a half days thanks to She-Devil taking her body twice in Jaxon’s truck. She rested her head back against the shredded headrest and felt like a jerk. His truck had been really nice before she’d sharpened her claws on it.
He’d done well both times to pull over to the side of the road and drag her out before she could destroy it completely, but he was sporting a few new scars now thanks to the black-furred hellion living inside of her. A juicy bug splatted against the windshield, and she snarled. Already her skin was tingling as if she would Change again.
“Can we revisit the idea of a cage room?” she asked Jax.
“You won’t need one up here. You won’t hurt anyone. If you fight them, they’ll just enjoy the bloodbath. Change all you want. You aren’t dangerous to the shifters in Damon’s Mountains.”
“So, explain again why I have to be the Second of Red Havoc?”
“Because you kicked Barret’s ass repeatedly. That last one he took as a challenge and really went at you, and you took your claws to him and demoted Murder Kitty to Third.”
Annalise giggled. “Murder Kitty should be my name.”
Jax made a ticking sound behind his teeth, barely audible over the sound of the country song on the radio. The Beck brothers were playing. She loved them.
“Brody wasn’t murder,” Jax said. “He was revenge. Any man who hurts a woman like that deserves worse than you gave him. He’s lucky. I would’ve done it slow.” Jax’s voice lowered and became too rough to be human. “I would’ve made it last a couple of days. Maybe given him to the Gray Backs when I was bored. Maybe let Damon light him up and devour his ashes. Trust me, Anna, you did Brody a favor he didn’t deserve. You’ll get no judgement from me or anyone else for She-Devil defending you like that.”
“I know who Damon is. I’ve been researching,” she said, holding up her phone and shaking it slightly. The sunlight caught the jewels on the skull case.
“Thata girl, and what did you learn?”
“Damon Daye, aka the blue dragon, reigns over these mountains. There are three crews. The Ashe Crew, the Boarlanders, and your Gray Backs. And most of them make a living by being lumberjacks. Ha. Are you a Lumberjack Werebear, Jax?”
He chuckled, slid his free hand over her thigh, and squeezed gently. Warmth immediately dumped into her center just from his easy and comfortable touch. He’d seen her at her worst over the last two days of traveling and trying to control She-Devil, and he was still here. Still laughing and touching her. Still supporting her.
He wore a blue baseball cap on backward today. He was scruffy-sexy with his unshaven face, dark eyes, white T-shirt, and jeans with holes at the knees. And he sat here with her, the epitome of a relaxed man, steering wheel turning in one hand, and an easy smile on his lips, like she wasn’t going to shift at any moment. He wasn’t scared of her at all.
Good man. Strong man. Her man.
“I did work logging jobs some of the seasons, but mostly I’m a worm farmer.” He slid her a huge grin. “Does that turn you on?”
“A worm farmer?” she asked, waiting for the punchline.
“It’s a family business. My ma built this worm empire from the ground up, and now her worms are the biggest name in bait worms and compost worms in the world. Willa’s Worms.”
“Oh, my gosh, I’ve seen those in the store! In the hunting and fishing section. They are stored in those little refrigerators by the cash register. The logo is pink and blue and has a cartoon worm. I always thought it was so cute.”
“Yep. I take care of shipping. They were there because I made it happen.”
“So you aren’t really a farmer then. You are on the business side.”
“Oh, no. Ma wanted me and my brother to learn the business from the bottom up. I had to work my way into shipping. I started out with my hands dirty.”
“And wormy,” she teased. “So sexy. Jaxon Barns, professional worm wrangler. I’m so turned on right now.” She wrapped her arms around her middle and snickered then tried to make a serious face and whispered, “Jax. I like your worm.”
“Stop it.”
“Maybe sometime, you wanna…stick it in my slimy wormhole.”
“God, seriously? You sound like Ma right now. My worm is getting limp.”
“Let me feel.” She reached across his lap and petted his crotch.
“Hands off my worm.”
“Heeeere, wormy, wormy, wormy.”
“Woman, seriously, you’re giving wormy a boner, cut it out. We’re almost there. Or don’t cut it out, but I’m gonna fuck you so hard against one of these trees, you’ll be screaming my name and get us busted.”
Holy hotness. “I wanna do that,” she rushed out. “I wanna scream your name.”
Jax slammed on the brakes, and the truck skidded sideways. He threw it into park the second it rocked to a stop and reached for her. “Take your pants off,” he demanded.
Okay then. Bossy Jax was sexy.
She stripped out of her shorts faster than a lady of the night named Cinnamon, and then she crawled across the console and straddled Jax’s lap. He already had his pants undone and shoved down his hips so his erection jutted up from between his powerful thighs. Hell yes to all of this—her body was already molten.
Jax gripped his cock as she lifted up and slid onto him, and together they let off twin groans of ecstasy as she lowered down slowly and took all of him. He gripped her hips so hard, it would’ve been uncomfortable if she was human, but She-Devil let off a snarl of appreciation.
“I fucking love when your eyes go gold like this,” Jaxon gritted out. He leaned forward and plucked at the claiming mark on her neck with teasing, biting kisses. “Sexy.” Bite. “Terrifying.” Bite. “Badass.” Bite. “Panther.”
The pressure in her middle was already building in intensity as she bucked against him, her hips crashing with Jax’s as he met her movement, stroke for stroke. They were already going too hard and too fast. This wouldn’t last long, but he didn’t seem to care. He pulled her down even harder on his dick, over and over until she was right on the verge, head thrown back, eyes closed to the world, yelling out his name. Orgasm exploded through her as he drove deep and shot warmth into her in throbbing spurts. Her mind was gone. There was no worry in this moment. There was only the bone-deep sensation of belonging.
He’d called her a sexy, terrifying, badass panther and told her he loved the gold in her eyes. It was a far cry from when he’d admitted he wished she was human, and it meant the world to her that he accepted her now.
They slowed their pace and dragged out each other’s aftershocks until they were twitching with sensitivity. And then she slid her hands up his chest and around his neck and nuzzled her cheek against his. She’d never done that with a man, but it felt right. It felt like saying I love you without the words, and she truly did. Something hummed between them, some electricity that hadn’t been there before.
“Can you feel it?” he asked as he rubbed his cheek against hers. “Can you feel our bond?”
“Yes,” she said, suddenly stunned. She eased back and looked down at their chests where it felt like a rope had been tied from his heart to hers, but there was nothing there. If he hadn’t pointed it out, she would’ve thought herself even crazier. She would’ve thought it was She-Devil messing with her mind again.
“I never wanted a bond until you,” Jax said, blazing green eyes locked on hers. “I wanted a half-life. I wanted an easy mate who wouldn’t call to my bear. Who wouldn’t make me wish for a better life.”
“And now?”
“And now you’re all
I want. And if wishing for a better life means I can make you happy, keep you safe, and stable…well then, that’s what I want. I like you just the way you are, Anna.”
Her lip trembled, so she bit it to hide her emotions. “She-Devil and all?”
Jax leaned into her and angled his face, kissed her lips gently. And when he disengaged, she could see the utter honesty in his eyes when he murmured, “She-Devil and all.”
Chapter Twelve
Jaxon coasted through the piney Wyoming woods. Usually this last straightaway through Damon’s Mountains made his stomach clench. The roamer in him would buckle about staying in his trailer and wouldn’t want to settle into a few days of working here. The restlessness would be there, urging him to move on, even though he hadn’t even seen the place yet.
It had always been like that. Since he was a cub, Titan wanted to move constantly.
Today was different, though. Today he had her with him.
Jax cast Annalise a sideways glance, just to see her reaction to the Grayland Mobile Park when she saw it for the first time. She was leaned forward, unbuckled already, sitting on the edge of her seat, bright gold eyes on the white gravel road, hands clenched on top of her thighs. She was humming with tension. She-Devil would come out again soon.
It made him happy and sad all at once. He was bonding with the animal side of her, too, and so damn glad now that she was a shifter and could handle this complicated life beside him. But Annalise was sore from all the quick Changes, and She-Devil was more unstable than ever. The shredded seats were proof of that.
At the low growl that rattled her throat, he dragged his attention back to the trailer park.
In front of the fire pit at the end of the road stood a man who was a sight for sore eyes. Blond hair, blue eyes, muscled up and wearing a white T-shirt like Jax’s over holey jeans, also like Jax’s. Clinton was about to give him so much shit for stealing his style.