by Miria Masdan
He smiles, “we need to make our appearances at the reception.”
“What if I can’t control myself,” I ask?
“I won’t leave you,” he says. “I can handle you.”
The nurse enters the room; in her hand is a tray with four needles. I think back to when Quinn was explaining the healthcare procedure to the girl in front of me in line. He explicitly said three shots. I look at Adam. He has an unusual, twisted smile on his face. I can feel my body temperature rise, my palms are moist, and my mouth is dry. I’m not sure if I will be able to control my panic. I think about Quinn, the orchard, and the summer, but none of it helps.
The nurse rolls up my sleeve and wipes my arm with a cleansing pad. She gives me each shot one right after the other. The last shot burns as the fluids enter my body and travels down my arm.
“Are you okay,” she asks. “You look a little flushed.”
“I’m fine,” I say. My voice feels shaky. I wipe my hands on my pants. “It’s just a little warm in here.”
“We’ll have fun tonight,” she says. “I remember my first heightening.”
“When will it kick in,” I ask?
“The program will commence at 9pm,” she says. “They allow everyone to enjoy the reception, and then they release you into the night.”
“I will be with you the whole time,” says Adam.
“You’re so lucky to have such a devoted friend,” she says, looking at Adam.
We leave, and Adam walks me to the girl’s dorm. During regular session, we are allowed to stay in our homes, but for special occasions and testing we are required to stay on campus. I shower and dress in my new intern clothes. All interns are required to wear gray. Students and adult citizens can wear whatever they prefer during their personnel time, but each occupation has a Federation issued uniform and guidelines for appearances.
Tonight I am wearing a gray tunic with gray pants. I stand in front of the mirror. I smile. I’ve been waiting to grow up for a long time. I take a deep breath. I have no idea how I am going to handle tonight. I am already heightened, so it should be easy. I feel my arm; it still aches. I wonder what was in the extra shot. I feel fine, but I might not be affected until the program begins.
I access my calendar; it’s time to meet my friends: Mandy and Grace. I grab my coat and head to the lobby. Adam is not allowed to travel with me; he’s meeting me at the reception. I step out of the elevator. My friends wave to me.
Mandy is the smart, well-organized friend, and Grace is the happy, social friend. I am in the middle. I usually go alone with anything they plan, and I try to maintain a steady, even position in our friendship. Although, our emotions are dulled, we can still feel and experience. Our responses and our levels of emotions are turned down, not eliminated. We can love, but not lust. We can dislike, not hate. Well, at least they are dulled. I can love, lust and hate.
“Where have you been all day,” asks Mandy.
“Did you and Sean,” asks Grace. “You left and never came back.”
“No,” I say. “He just wanted to say goodbye.”
“So…” asks Grace? “Who were you with?”
“If you must know,” I say. “I was with Adam for part of the day, and by myself for the rest.”
“Well that’s no fun,” says Mandy.
“Look,” Grace looks toward the opposite end of the lobby. “Your officer is here, and he has friends.”
They must be meeting in the lobby too. I see Quinn and his friend Max and Smith. They are all looking at us. They aren’t making any effort to hide the fact that they are talking about us. They point and stare.
“I have dibs on the tall one,” says Grace.
“His name is Max,” I say.
“Oh great I get the left over’s,” says Mandy.
“Quit complaining,” says Grace, “he’s adorable.”
“Don’t even think about it ladies,” I say. “I can’t. I promised Adam.”
“It’s your heightening,” says Grace. “You have every right to go out and have as much fun, as you can. Adam has no say in it at all.”
“He’s not planning on letting me out of his sight,” I say. “I couldn’t, even if I wanted too.”
“So your officer is up for grabs,” asks Mandy.
“No,” I say a bit too quick.
“Let’s go,” says Grace. “We can talk about it on the way to the reception.
Mandy and Grace both giggle as they pass by the officers. I maintain my composure. I do glance at Quinn. He’s looking at me. He shakes his head and gives me a smile. We’re both breaking the law. But I remember our encounter earlier; he doesn’t.
I’m caught. Mandy and Grace both are looking at me: mouths open, eyes wide. We walk outside and head towards the shuttle. It’s a twenty-minute ride to the reception.
“I have a plan,” says Grace. “We need to sneak you out of the reception early before Adam has a chance to stop you.”
“How are we going to do that,” asks Mandy.
“The presentation,” I say. “We have to wait backstage after we’re called. We can leave. It’ll be a while before he knows that I am gone.’
“It’ll work,” says Grace.
“He’s going to be upset with you,” says Mandy.
“I don’t care,” I say. “I want to enjoy tonight.”
“We are only heightened once a year,” says Grace. “You can’t miss it, not even for Adam.”
We spend the next hour and a half at the reception. Grace is the first of us to be presented, and then me and finally Mandy. We meet at the door to the hallway. There are around twenty minutes left of the presentation. We’re allowed to exit to go to the bathroom, so no one expects anything.
We walk past the bathrooms, down the hall, and down the stairs. We exit the building through the front doors, and head straight for the shuttle. We don’t talk. It’s almost nine o’clock. None of us know what to expect. My biggest fears are that I won’t be able to keep up with my friends, and I won’t be able to find Quinn.
We ride the shuttle for two more stops, and then we get off. We’re heading to a party in the Political sector. Each component hosts a heightening party. Grace is from Political, and Mandy is from transportation.
The party is in a meeting hall, and we’re not the first to arrive. Most of the people are citizens, but there are a few interns too. I recognize a boy from my science class. He looks over at us and waves.
It’s eight fifty-seven.
“It’s almost time,” I say. “Are we ready?”
The room gets quiet. Everyone is waiting for the program to begin. More interns are coming inside. I look around the room; some interns look scared, some excited.
It’s eight fifty-nine.
I close my eyes and lean against the wall. I see the time change to nine. I open my eyes. I can see the other interns reacting. Most are smiling, but a boy by the food table is crying. I look at Mandy and Grace; they seem to be okay.
I don’t expect to feel anything, and at first I don’t, but then I feel a strange sensation rise from my center. I look to the door, and back to my friends. I feel like I need to run, to hide. I sit down and bury my head in my folded arms.
“You okay,” asks Mandy?
“I think I’m feeling paranoia,” I say. I’m surprised. I thought I had experienced every emotion, that I would not be affected by the heightening. That I was able to reach the maximum emotional threshold; I was wrong.
My friends mingle and enjoy the party. I can’t leave my seat. I’m aware of everyone, and I question their intentions. I can’t even drink the punch that Grace brings me; I’m too afraid that it might be poisoned.
I access my calendar; it’s nine twenty-two. I get up and walk over to Grace. I finally feel like it is safe to mingle. I must be switching emotions. It’s a different experience for everyone. Some interns jump from emotion to emotion and some experience many emotions all at the same time. I must be a jumper.
Grace and I are ta
lking about our feeling when Mandy grabs her from behind. The room is loud and people are laughing and touching. In the corner, there is a couple kissing. I try and look away, but I have never seen anyone act so promiscuously. I start thinking about Quinn. I need to find him.
“Emma,” says Grace.
I hear her, but I ignore her. The couple is intense. The boy has his hands all over her, and she is not resisting.
I feel a push, and I stumble, but I steady myself before I fall.
“Ouch,” I say, “what was that for?”
“Look,” she points behind me.
I turn around, and I see three men leaving. I recognize the last one from the POE lobby; it’s Quinn’s friend.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Quinn
“Do you have any idea what you are asking us to do,” Smith asks? “I had this whole night planned.”
“I know,” I say. “It comes only one time a year, but, what's more, important?”
“I hate to say it, but Quinn’s right,” Max says. “If she has something to do with the attacks we need to find out.”
“Why can’t we just detain her, and question her tomorrow,” he asks? “I got to release the beast.”
“Are you listening to yourself,” Max says.
“She has friends,” I say. “You can release the beast with one of them.”
“Friends, ya say,” he rubs his chin and appears to be in deep thought for about two seconds. “Okay, but I get dibs.”
“She’s off limits,” I snap.
“Friends share,” he says. “I’m just saying. You can’t be greedy.”
“No,” I say.
“What I don’t get,” Max says. “Is why you’re so interested in her? Her scans were normal, right?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I just have this feeling; something’s not right.”
“Okay,” Max says.
“If we’re going to do this,’ Smith says, “we need to be prepared to neutralize her, you know that, right?”
“If it comes down to that,” I say. “I will do it, understood.”
“And if you can’t,” Max asks? “I will. Don’t forget our duty is to the Federation.”
I’ve known Max for two years. We were in the same Defense training program, and we’ve been in the same unit ever since. He is my closest friend, but I don’t doubt his loyalty to the Federation. He puts his duty before anything else. If he had to pick me or the Federation, he wouldn’t hesitate to neutralize me.
We wait in the lobby. Smith is tracking Emma. My program is still not working properly. We waste the time talking about adventures from previous years.
“She’s heading our way,” Smith says. “She just entered the elevator.”
My stomach twists, and I’m acutely aware of my pulse surging through my veins. I look towards the elevators. Two girls are sitting on a bench. They must be Emma’s friends. I lean against the wall, wipe my hands on my pants, and let out a long overdue breath.
The elevator dings and she steps out. Her friends join her, and they walk in our direction. She notices me, and I can’t take my eyes off of her. I know Smith is right; we should just detain her and question her tomorrow, but a part of me wants to see her unrestricted side. A part of me wants to show her mine.
“Oh yeah, friends,” Smith says. “I’m in.”
He gives me an elbow to the side, catching me off guard, and sending me off balance. I steady myself, but I never break eye contact with her. Her friends giggle and whisper as they walk by, but she maintains a calm, focused demeanor.
I want to know what she is thinking. I want to understand our undeniable connection, but I’m terrified. My best attributes, as a Defense officer, are my instincts, and they’re telling me that everything about her is wrong.
Two weeks ago it wouldn’t have been a problem. I would have ignored her issues and taken full advantage of our connection, but the attacks have changed protocol. Our directives are clear and non-negotiable: neutralize all threats to the Federation.
We wait in the lobby. Smith is still tracking her, and they are heading to the reception in the city center. We don’t have to rush. We take the next shuttle and monitor them from afar.
We keep our distance but stay close enough to be able to react if needed. The reception is the same thing every year. We know what to expect, and are prepared for any issues. Smith is leaning back in a chair, feet up, and eyes closed. He decided he needed a nap, before tonight’s festivities. He takes his Heightening very seriously; he crams as many permitted illegal activities, as he can into one night. He doesn’t waste a minute, and he doesn’t turn down any offers.
I always go along for the ride. I don’t search out trouble, but I don’t turn it down if it arises. Max is capable of controlling himself. He suppresses his emotions, even during the Heightening. He is the ultimate Defense officer.
Max is watching the monitor, “hey they’re leaving.” He kicks Smith’s chair. He opens his eyes and gives Max an annoyed look.
“Where are they, I ask?
“Heading to the shuttles,” he says. “Let’s go.”
We get on the shuttle behind them; there are no other citizens on board. We ride until political, and then exit on the opposite side that they exit. It seems they are sticking to the approved festivities, for now.
We head around to the back of the building and enter through a lower level door. We find a room and set up our surveillance. Smith taps into the buildings security, and he pulls up the cameras from the banquet hall.
“There they are,” he says.
“It’s almost nine,” Max says. “Keep in mind that we are working tonight. If she is part of the attacks, we need to take care of her. You two need to control yourselves.”
“It makes perfect sense,” I say, “an attack during the Heightening when we are off guard and vulnerable.”
“Quinn,” he asks? “Are you complacent?”
“Yes,” I say.
“She’s the perfect distraction,” he says. “You need to be able to get passed all that, you need to be able to control the situation.”
“I can,” I say.
“It’s time,” says Smith.
I watch the monitor. I want to see how she’s reacting. She looks scared. She looks around the room, takes a seat, and lowers her head.
“She’s not looking too hot,” says Smith. “But her friends, they seem to be enjoying themselves.”
She doesn’t move. Almost a half an hour goes by before her friends join her. She seems to be reacting better, and then the screen goes black.
“What happened,” I ask?
“The system is down,” he says. “It must be another energy spike.”
“We need to get a visual on them,” Max says.
We head upstairs and enter the banquet hall. The girls are still at the table. We walk outside because Smith thinks he might be able to get a signal.
“They’ve spotted us, Max says. “We need to get someplace and re-group.”
We head to the shuttle and head downtown; Smith wants to try and tap into an old analog feed. He thinks he can monitor her location, but nothing else. The only downfall is that they will not be able to follow them. He has to tap into an actual physical connection with the Federation system, which means they are stuck in one place until the wireless connection returns.
“Did we shake them,” I ask?
“I can’t tell,” Smith says, “without a connection we’re blind.”
“So they could be right behind us, and we wouldn’t know,” I ask?
“Exactly,” he says.
“How did they do it before the Federation,” I ask?
“It was a lot more difficult,” says Max. “It was skill, instinct, and not technology. I think that’s why there was so much crime. It’s an impossible task.”
We arrive at our destination and exit the shuttle. I look over my shoulder, but I don’t see the girls. I think we lost them. I sigh. We are not in a good section of the city. T
he buildings are old, and still have the antiquated technology of the early Federation. Smith knows a location, but it means we are going off the grid and heading into the Under.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Emma
“That was him, wasn’t it?” Grace asks as she wraps her arm around mine. It feels odd to have contact with her. “He’s so cute and his friend is so dreamy. We have to find out where they are going.”
“Wow,” I say, “you are intense right now.”
“I know, I can’t help it,” she giggles. “My entire body is being rushed with desire. I thought I would be fearful, but I’m not. All I can feel is heat and tingling…it tingles.”
“This is going to be a long night,” says Mandy, who is apparently not experiencing desire. From the look on her face, I’d say melancholy or despair. “I hope we even out soon, but I doubt it.”
I have a deep knot in my stomach and every sight, sound and movement makes me jump. I’m experiencing fear, or at least I think I am. I’m used to feeling fear, sometimes I feel it runs my life, but this is different. I can’t control what I’m experiencing, and I think I’m having an overly sensitive reaction to the heightening.
“It’s supposed to even out,” I ask?
“It’s crazy at first, but once you're used to it, it’s amazing,” Mandy says. “I think I’m getting control of it.”
“Where to ladies,” asks Grace. Her voice is bouncy and excited. “I hear there is a great place down by the park?”
“Let’s follow them,” I say.
We go outside. We see them walking away. We go after them, making sure we stay out of sight. We are as quiet as we can be, especially with Grace being so turned on. She keeps giggling and making noises that are uncomfortable to hear.
“Best idea ever,” Grace chirps. She jumps up and starts towards them.
“No,” I grab her arm. “We need to be sneaky. I’m sure they know of some places that we’d never be allowed to go by ourselves.”
“Wow, I thought for sure you were experiences fear,” Mandy says quietly.