Our aunt on my mom’s side used to tell my mom that he was an animal that needed euthanized. Can you believe that? The people that should be there for him unconditionally actually treated him worse than outsiders. My mom quit talking to her sister then. I was proud of her. Though mom said she was more proud of me because I went off on my aunt.
The boys remember our uncles and ask about them often. No one from either side talk to us anymore. When the kids ask about them, I just tell them that they are very busy and still so sad about the loss of mom and dad. Knowing my brothers the way I do, they don’t buy the crock of shit lie anymore than I do saying it.
Here we are walking up with two men that really just came into our lives and have done more for the boys than blood relatives have. Everyone that turns away from these amazing little boys are missing out. They are going to change the world and maybe they already have.
Looking between my brothers and their new best friends, I think Jackson and Jacob being twins helps the boys a lot. They are so attached to them and I worry that it is just as much as a bad thing as it is a good thing. With Jacob being an actor of some sort and Jackson... I worry that the times when they get busy and can’t come around will wreck the boys.
Jackson drapes one arm around my shoulders as he talks, “Mom, Dad, this here is Shannon. These are her brothers, Sebastian and Atreyu.”
Holding out my hand, “It’s very nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Williams.”
“Oh darling, you put that hand away and those formalities. Give me a hug and call me Jane.” Says the beautiful petite woman, hugging me.
“Same here young lady. Call me Larry, please.” He hugs me tightly.
Looking at his parents side by side, I can see where Jackson gets his looks. He has the soft, beautiful eyes of his mother, but the structure and height of his father. It was uncanny how much he looked like his father actually.
“Thank you for allowing us to come. It was very kind of you all to include us.”
“Nonsense,” Jane said, waving her hand dismissively. “If you’re important to my Jackson, then you’re important to us. Besides, I have to say I’m excited to meet this Roo and Captain that I’m told so much about.”
My heart soars at the thought that Jackson has been talking about my brothers. They need friends outside of me, I know they do. It is so hard to find people that I’d trust outside of me. They are all I have left in the world. I may get overprotective sometime, but I just can’t let them go.
Atreyu turns around in Jacob’s arms, “You know who we are?” He sounds amazed.
“Of course we do. Jack here talks about you guys all the time. We talk a lot and he keeps bragging about you two. I’ve been jealous because I haven’t got to meet you until now.”
Atreyu squirms and Jake sets him on the ground. Jane squats down to be eye level with him and so does Larry.
“I’m Atreyu, but um,” he turns and looks at Jack. “What is it called again?”
“Nickname.” Jack stated, knowing what Atreyu was asking immediately.
“Yeah, that’s it. My nickname is Roo.”
Larry reached his hand out, “I’m Larry. You can call me… Hmm, I don’t believe I have a nickname.”
Atreyu’s eye grew wide with excitement. “Can I think of one for you?”
“I’d like that. Think about it for a bit. Get to know me. Then give me a nickname. Okay?”
“I can do that,” Atreyu nods excitedly.
“You want to come with me to get something to eat?”
“Yes, thank you.” He turns around, grabs Jacob’s hand and pulls him to Larry where he also takes hold of Larry’s hand. All three walk off toward a long table set up with food.
Turning I watched as Jane approached Sebastian. She ran her hand gently on his back. Sebastian’s hold tightened on Jackson.
“So that makes you, Captain. Jack told me what a brave, smart boy you are,” Jane says softly.
“He did,” Sebastian mumbles into Jack’s neck.
“Yes, he did. Jack also told me how much he loves spending time with you. That his time with you guys makes him happier than he’s been in a long time. You want to know something?”
Pulling his face from Jack’s neck, he looks at Jane, then turns to Jack. “You said that stuff about me?”
“I did. You guys mean a lot to me,” Jack said, sadly.
“Did you tell her that I’m stupid and gross?” Sebastian asked seriously.
I gasped. “Sebastian!” Tear welled in my eyes, “Why would you say something like that?”
“Because that’s what that girl that works with Jack said. She said she’d kill me if it was, um, I don’t remember the word.” He said looking at me expectantly.
I glared at Jack when he met my eyes. “Baby listen to me, it doesn’t matter what she said because it was a lie. You are none of those things. You are smart, handsome, funny, creative, and so much fun to be around. I don’t care what a stuck up bitch seems to think of you!”
“Sam, you said a bad word,” Sebastian says wide eyed.
Taking a deep breath, “I know. I’m sorry.”
Sebastian starts laughing and soon so am I. “I love you, buddy.”
“Yeah, I know.” Sebastian then turns to Jane. “What else were you gonna say?”
Jane laughs, “I’d really like to be your friend too.”
Sebastian turns to Jack with tears in his eyes. “Thank you, Jack. I love you.” He said hugging Jack tightly.
Jack closed his eyes and hugged him back. “I love you too, Captain.”
The tone in Jack’s voice told me that he truly meant it. That meant a lot to me. It meant that Jack didn’t just say something to make someone else happy. He said things that he meant. Sebastian soon jumped down and left with Jane to go get some food.
“Don’t cry. He’s happy. My parent’s have been looking forward to meeting them since I met you guys.”
“You have given us so much. How am I ever going to repay you for this?”
“There is nothing to repay because as much as you think I’ve given you. You’ve given me so much more than you will ever know.” He hugs me and kisses the top of my head. “Now let’s go meet the rest of the gang. Shall we?”
He walks me around introducing me to his brothers, a few sisters, some guys that work for his sister’s boyfriend.
“How did you meet the family?” Ethan says.
“I met Jack at his office. We kind of became friends. How long have you been working here?”
“I just started a week ago. Looks to me like I started just in time.” Ethan drapes his arm around me.
Shrugging it off, “Sorry. Not interested.” I said, stepping away.
Heading over to my brothers when a woman, um Colleen, called my name.
“I want you to meet someone.”
She led me over to where a man that seemed to tower and was scary big. My anxiety started to kick up a bit. Just the look of the guy from his back scared me. Colleen put her hand on his back and he turned his head, smiling down at her, bending slightly, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Shit! What brother was with Colleen?
“Shannon, this is my man Carson. Jack’s brother and… This is who I wanted you to meet.”
She took the most adorable little girl from Carson’s arms, bringing her to me. She was dressed in a beautiful pink flowered dress. She had a lot of dark hair. She was sleeping so I couldn’t see her eyes, but I didn’t need to. This had to be the most beautiful little girl.
“This is my daughter, Colbie.” She hands her to me. “Better hold her while you’ve got the chance. Even I have to fight Carson here to hold her.”
“That’s my little girl, I want all the time with her I can. I know what girls get like when they get older.” Carson says with a smirk.
Colleen and I both laugh. “She’s beautiful,” I whisper.
“She gets it from her mother,” Carson says with so much love that it breaks my heart a little.
“May I s
it with her?”
“You sure can. I’m going to pull Carson away for a little bit. We’ll be right over there spending time with your brothers for a minute.” She pauses. “Your brothers are amazing. I hope that my daughter is as smart as they are.”
“And as caring. You’ve done a good job with them.” Carson says sadly.
“Thank you,” I say softly, giving them a sad smile as I sat down in the rocker.
They left me alone and I just stared down at this beautiful sleeping baby in my arms. She was so tiny. It’s hard to think that her father was that huge and here she was this little thing barely taking up one arm as I hold her.
Looking up, I watch my brothers running around playing with Jack’s family and friends. Their laughter traveled over here. It was still rare to see them so happy and enjoying themselves. It made me wonder if I was doing enough for them. Or if my grandma was right? That I’d screw them up just like me. I was a screw up. I’ve done nothing with my life, not to mention no job and my inheritance was running low. Looking at the bills, always makes me think of my parents.
Their room was still an off limits area. The boys used to go in there shortly after they passed to sleep and cry. I can’t bring myself to go in their room. After a while I told them not to go in there anymore because I couldn’t handle going in. When they continued to sneak into the room, I had to lock the door. I put my room in the room that was actually supposed to be a laundry room, but my parents moved it to the basement. Mom was going to use it as a sewing room. There wasn’t a day that didn’t go by that I didn’t miss them, that I didn’t feel guilty.
Some days it is so hard looking at the boys. They remind me so much of my dad. Especially when they get excited and do their happy dances. My dad got them started on that when they were one and were in the mimicking stage. Now when they win a game or are really happy they still do it. They take their hands and touch their fingertips together twice in the front and repeat the same action behind their back while they bounce from the knees. Next they will twirl around, do the disco and finally shake their butts saying ‘Uh huh. Oh yeah, that’s right’. It is the funniest thing.
Looking back down at Colbie, she was lucky. She had an amazing family that she was born into. Each of these amazing people, would jump over the moon for her. Running my finger down her cheek, I gently kiss her forehead.
“You are one beautiful little girl. I think your daddy better get ready for when you get older. He’ll have to fight those boys off with a stick.”
“Oh, don’t say that. You’ll get Carson’s hackles all up.”
Looking up, I find a smiling Colleen and Carson. “You guys are so lucky,” I say softly, looking back down at her.
I wanted a family, kids the whole nine yards. Now, I think it’s my punishment for being so damn selfish. Thinking of myself when my parents were breaking. When I felt a tear start slipping down my cheek, I reached up to wipe it, but was stopped.
Jack knelt in front of me, wiping the tear from my cheek. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
“She is,” I whispered.
“I am a very proud uncle that’s for sure.”
When I looked up, my eyes locked with Jack’s. The smile on his face slipped just a little. Someone sneezing broke the hold and I glanced back down at Colbie trying to hide my blush.
“Mind if I hold her for a bit?”
I laugh. “She is your niece.” I try to mask my sadness as I hand him Colbie. “I’m just going to go check on my brothers.”
Chapter Eleven
Jackson
Seeing her hold Colbie pulled at something deep within me. Two of the most beautiful ladies that mean so much to me. Even though I can’t have a relationship with her, she will always mean so much to me. Always. Her and the boys are embedded very deep into my heart. The thing that floors me is that they really have no idea how truly special they are. Shannon always says that she believes that the boys are going to change the world one day, but she can’t see that all three of them already have.
The minute they walked into my office they changed my life forever. When I started telling my family about them, even before they met them, they’d changed their lives. It isn’t anything they do, it’s just who they are. The essence they bring to anyone that encounters them.
If only things were different.
Holding Colbie, I watched her walk away my eyes never leaving her. Honestly, I’m surprised she’s still single. There wasn’t anything I found about her that turns me off. Then I remembered something.
“Hey CJ? Will you go ask Nick to come here?”
Carson nodded and headed off to get Nick. Looking down at my beautiful niece in my arms. Suddenly, I found myself picturing my daughter in my arms. She’d have my dark hair, but she’d have her mama’s beautiful hazel eyes. My head snapped up and my eyes found her right away. She was laughing at something Sebastian was telling her.
“I’m so glad you found her.”
“Found who?” I asked, shocked that I forgot that Colleen was standing there.
“Your forever girl.”
“Col, you know that isn’t happening for me. It can’t.”
She laughs. “Honey, whether you think it can’t or not. It’s already happened. Once you stop fighting it, you’ll see how much happier you can and deserve to be.”
Looking up, my eyes met Shannon’s again. We both kind of froze in what we were doing. My rocking side to side stilled and I lost myself in her eyes. Even at this distance, they consumed me. Colleen may be right. It may have already happened, but other than small moments like this nothing will change. She’s my friend, nothing more.
“You deserve happiness, Jack. You deserve love. I don’t care what you think and what happened, Jack. The more you cling to the past more of your present disappears and the more your future will stay dark. I think I can speak from experience here and the knowledge of what you’re going through.”
“I won’t repeat the past, Colleen. My mistakes will not affect Shannon. I won’t let anything touch her,” I almost hissed.
Colleen gasped. “Jackson Williams! The first shocking thing here is, how much you love her. Second, and probably the most heartbreaking, is how much you’re willing to miss just because of your past. Jacks-”
“Colleen, don’t. Just stop.” I hissed.
“Sorry, Jacks. I’m just trying to help you. So you don’t lose what your heart already knows it wants and needs. You’re going to be so much worse off if you let her walk away.”
Looking back in Shannon’s direction, I watch as Sebastian comes up to her. She listens, then her face drops. Handing Colbie to Colleen, I started heading over in their direction. She walks up to one of Mary and Tobey’s new hires, pushing him. My vision flashed red as he slapped Shannon across the face. I was in his face, knocking him out in one swing.
“Are you okay?” I asked immediately pulling Shannon into my arms.
“He told Sebastian that monsters were made to stay hidden and not come out during the day. Why does everyone have to be so mean to him?” She sobbed in my chest.
Kissing the top of her head over and over again, I held her tightly against me. “I’m sorry, so very sorry.” It was all I could say.
Sebastian pulls at my pants. Reluctantly, I break away from Shannon and bend down, picking up Sebastian while he cries. Every day of his damn life, he’s going to face this treatment. With every insult, it will wear on this poor little guy. That hurts me deeply.
Pulling Shannon into me, I tried to console both of them. If I hadn’t invited them here today, they’d be sitting at home in their normal routine, not having to suffer any of the cruelty they’ve suffered here. However, all regrets about bringing them here left just moments after I thought it.
“Sebastian?” My mom asks gently.
To both mine and Shannon’s surprise, Sebastian turned and went willingly into her arms. “I don’t mean to be a monster,” he sobs as he holds her tightly.
“You are n
o monster, little boy. You are far from a monster. The only kind of monster you are is my tickle monster.”
I smiled, knowing the game she was about to play. Sebastian leans back. “No, silly, you’re the tickle monster.”
“Well, if you say so,” then my mom starts tickling him. Sebastian immediately starts laughing.
Mary came over and held her arms out for Sebastian. With Sebastian in her arms, she sat in a chair that Tobey had brought over for her.
“Atreyu tells me you like music.”
“Sometimes,” Sebastian sniffled.
“Can I sing you a song?” Sebastian nods.
Mary starts singing Mark Wills’ song Don’t Laugh At Me. It was actually perfect. It was a song about how we may be different, but in the end, we’ll all have perfect wings. It was about judging others on their differences or imperfections. Everyone was watching as Mary sang this song, but had Shannon gasping was when Sebastian joined in on the chorus. He watched Mary’s mouth and repeated the words, then looked at Shannon saying, “Someday we’ll all have perfect wings, Don’t laugh at me.”
Everyone kind of dispersed and went back to enjoying the party. Once I made sure that Shannon was okay, I went and searched out Nick.
“Yo, Nix!” I yelled when I spotted him.
“Hey man. Those boys are amazing and your girl is beautiful.”
“We’re just friends. How’s Jennifer doing? I’m surprised she’s not here.”
Nick’s face dropped. “She left.”
“Oh, man. When’s she coming back?”
He cleared his throat, still not meeting my eyes. “She’s not coming back. She left me. Moved to California.”
Tough Love (Hidden Secrets) Page 8