“But you want more than that.”
So much it hurt. But Jazz didn’t dare say the words aloud. She kept her face neutral. At least she tried. “It takes two to tango, Bethany, yet here I am dancing alone.”
“Do you want me to talk to him?”
“No!” Panic flared. “Do not do that. I’ll never talk to you again.”
“Jeez. Calm down. It was only an offer. Anyway, Nathan will come around eventually. He’d be crazy not to.”
Given she’d been waiting years, Jazz was doubtful. “We both know that boy is crazy. Today’s graffiti nonsense only adds to the proof.”
“Fair point.” Bethany pulled her brown, wavy hair into a high ponytail, then said, “Okay, new topic. You mentioned college. What are you thinking about doing?”
“I don’t know yet. Maybe teaching? I love helping the kids at the center, but I’m not sure I want to major in education.”
Bethany smiled at Jazz and reached over to rub her shoulder. “You’ll figure it out.”
“Let me guess—you’ve decided the next twenty years of your life.”
“Pretty much. I’m going to be a doctor.”
“Of course you are.” Jazz hadn’t expected any different since Bethany took all advanced placement science courses and both her parents worked in the medical profession.
“Some things are just so obvious. Like me being a doctor, and you and Nathan hooking up one day.”
From your lips to God’s ears, Jazz thought. Though if God had heard her many prayers about Nathan, he’d clearly already made a decision not to assist her in the matter.
Seven
Summer had come and gone, and now Jazz and Nathan were in their final year of high school together. She took honors classes, while he avoided core classes like the plague, opting for a strange hodgepodge of art, gym, and computers to fill out his schedule. This, of course, meant that they had zero classes together, but Nathan still walked Jazz home from school every day and worked alongside her at the tutoring institution in Brooklyn.
Well, she worked. He volunteered.
The shared ride into the city gave them plenty of time to catch up on their separate weeks. Today he revealed that he’d quit the football team in a blaze of glory earlier that day.
“Why would you do that?” Jazz asked, shocked. She thought he enjoyed being on the team. He’d never said anything to make her think he didn’t.
He wrapped his hands tighter around the steering wheel and then let it go, driving the next stretch of the parkway with his knees. “Dunno. I started football to get girls, but I don’t really need it anymore.”
Nathan was so self-unaware. Did he really think girls liked him for his athletic ability and not his good looks, charm, or killer sense of humor? Jazz could have pointed this out to him, but her feelings would be far too obvious. Besides, maybe Nathan was turning over a new leaf. Maybe he’d stop playing the field and find a nice steady girlfriend closer to home. Maybe it would finally be her.
Yeah, right.
“Is that honestly the only reason? You didn’t like playing? Or hanging out with Red and the guys?”
With a shrug, he put one hand back on the wheel. “It’s all right, I guess. It just feels so… unimportant, you know? I mean, it’s a game. People spend ridiculous amounts of time and money, even stake their whole lives on a game. Doesn’t that seem ridiculous to you?”
Whoa. Jazz had never heard him talk like this and had no idea what to say, but she settled on, “Maybe some people need a break from the harder parts of life.”
“Sometimes I feel like all I do is take a break. Like I haven’t done anything that matters yet.” He looked at her, and the car drifted over to the shoulder. “I need to do something that matters, Jazzy.”
She placed a hand on the wheel, guiding them back to their lane. “Well, what about what we’re doing now? We’re making a real difference in these kids’ lives by helping them with their reading and writing. Their schools are over-extended, and the teachers don’t have the time for students who need extra help, and the parents don’t have money for private tutors. That makes what we’re doing so important. You see that, don’t you?”
He placed a hand on top of hers, and they steered together in the slow traffic. Her skin tingled as if it were waking up from a wonderful dream. Nathan was changing—she’d heard it in his words a few minutes ago—which meant their relationship status could finally change, too. She still wanted that. More than anything.
“Maybe.” He focused on the road. “I don’t want to be a teacher my whole life, though. I’m a crappy student. How can I be a good teacher?”
“You’re helping to keep these kids in school and out of gangs. That means something, Nathan.”
“But what next? I’m almost eighteen.” He sounded exasperated and more than a little confused. “What do I do with the next seventy-plus years of my life?”
So Nathan expected to live to eighty-eight. Why was she not surprised?
“I can’t answer that for you, but maybe we can find out together. Besides, I still don’t know, either.” She slipped her hand from under his and turned her eyes toward the window. Nathan didn’t know who he wanted to be yet, but he had already tried on so many different personalities—the athlete, the player, the bad boy, the boy next door—while she had always just been Jazz. Did it mean she felt secure in who she needed to be, or rather, that she was too afraid to actually go and find out?
Nathan smiled as he watched the traffic ahead. “You’re going to be a writer, Jazz. You’re so good with words.”
She sighed and ran her fingers up and down the shoulder strap of her seatbelt. “Maybe, but I’m still not sure.”
“A writer’s life could be nice,” he explained, making wide, animated gestures with his hands—the Italian in him coming out—and letting go of the steering wheel. “You get to work from Brazilian beaches, Parisian cafes, anywhere you want. You write a nice story and then you make millions of dollars. Sounds like the perfect life to me. Only I suck at writing.”
She turned back to him and couldn’t help but smile. He wanted the best for her as much as he wanted it for himself—and that meant something. This was their senior year. Everything in their world was about to change. Why couldn’t they make those changes together? “I’m not sure writing works exactly like that, but it sounds like you want a job that comes with lots of… um, freedom.”
“You know what? You’re right. I’m going to live a life of freedom, love, and passion. No strings. No obligations. Just enjoying every single second.”
Without her? She hoped not. “That sounds like quite the ambition. Now you just have to figure out how to get it.”
“Stumped again.” He shook his head and laughed. “Why do you always have to be so rational?”
“Because that’s how I am. You’ll figure it out, and I’ll help you. Who says you can’t live life that way?”
And who says that one day Nathan won’t look at you with a whole new set of eyes? Who says that he’s not your happily ever after, prince charming, and best friend all rolled into one? Jazz silently asked herself.
Nathan frowned. “Who says I can?”
“Me. I do. You can do anything. Be anything.”
“Do you really believe that?”
Her heart shouted yes. She wanted so badly to tell him everything in that moment, to reveal that she found him to be absolutely perfect, that she wasn’t just saying these things to make him feel better, but rather, because she believed them with every fiber of her being and then some. But it wasn’t the time. Nathan had too much to figure out about his own life without trying to find a way to fit his square peg of a best friend into the round hole of a girlfriend.
She placed her hand back over his on the wheel, feeling a tingle pass from her fingers into his once again.
Nathan sucked in a deep breath but kept his eyes straight ahead and his mouth closed. Did he feel it, too?
“I believe in you,” Jazz said at
last. “And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in these past twelve years, it’s to never bet against Nate the Great.”
Eight
Balloons floated out of Jazz’s locker and toward the high hallway ceilings above. They were all turquoise, her favorite color. One snagged on the overhead sprinkler, popped, and rained gold confetti down onto her head.
“Ambush promposal!” Nathan cried, popping out from around the corner. He held a homemade poster board sign—also turquoise—that read: N8 the GR8 wants you as his D8!
Below that a mix of photos, similar to the collage she had made him on his sixteenth birthday, spelled out the word PROM?
She pivoted around, seeing if she was perhaps mistaken—if maybe some other girl stood behind her, the intended recipient of this dream come true instead of Jazz.
“Me? You’re asking me to prom?” Jazz asked, just to be sure she understood correctly.
“Um, hello! I can’t really make it any more obvious than this,” Nathan said, widening his eyes and shaking his head. “Unless…”
“No, no, stop that. Everyone’s staring!” Jazz pulled Nathan back to his feet before he could fully lower himself to one knee. Her best friend clearly took his senior promposal very seriously. He hadn’t done anything like this when he’d asked Angela de Martinez to junior prom last year.
Yes, the same Angela he’d taken to their first middle school dance. It seemed he had dated everyone at Kennedy High except her and was now taking a second go-around.
Was he so out of options that he wanted to date Jazz now? That thought burst the excitement building inside. She wanted him to choose her, not settle for her.
“Kind of waiting for an answer here,” Nathan said, his sign drooping as she kept him in suspense. Did this mean he might actually have feelings for her as more than a friend? Finally? After all this waiting? She wanted to ask, but not here in front of the small crowd of their classmates that were watching.
“C’mon, Jazz. What do you say?” Nathan asked, plastering a fresh grin on his handsome face. “We could go as friends.”
There it was. A giant two-ton ball dropped to the pit of Jazz’s stomach, and not the glittery-lights-up kind of ball that rings in the New Year either.
Friends. Always and forever friends. Best friends, but nothing more.
“Sure, Nathan. I’d love to go with you,” she answered, giving him a huge, friendly hug.
Their audience clapped and then dispersed on their way to sixth period.
On the walk home that day, Nathan shared his plans for the perfect prom night—and Jazz nodded along, trying not to show her disappointment at the “just friends” status of their relationship.
“We’ll have a limo, obviously, and I’ll see if I can nick some wine from my parents’ stash. You’ll have to tell me what color dress you’re planning to wear so I can get a matching cumberbatch.”
“Cummerbund,” she corrected with a laugh. At least the two of them would have lots of fun together. “I think Cumberbatch might be some kind of actor. I can’t remember what we saw him in, though.”
Nathan laughed at himself. “I’m not going to remember that, but I will get a matching cumber—vest. So let me know as soon as you have your dress.”
“I’ll see if I can go shopping with Bethany this weekend. Do you want to come, too?”
“Are you crazy? I can’t see you in your dress before prom!”
“That’s weddings, not proms.” She bent over in laughter, which only encouraged Nathan to take his antics further.
“Still, let’s keep it a surprise,” he said, winking at her before covering his eyes with both hands. “In fact, I shouldn’t look at you now.”
Jazz continued to laugh so hard she could barely breathe. She tugged on Nathan’s arm to keep him moving safely down the street. She could have sworn she felt him shiver when she placed her arm through the crook of his, but that was crazy. They’d touched many times before. They’d been best friends for thirteen years. But why did things between them suddenly feel different as they talked about prom?
When they reached their houses, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading into his. “This is going to be so great, Jazzy J. I can’t wait!”
Once Nathan’s door had shut firmly behind him, Jazz reached a hand up to touch her cheek in the very spot where his lips had been. The spot was warm, tingly. Maybe that was why the kiss had felt different than the others he’d casually thrown her way over the years. Or was she seeing things that weren’t there, the way she’d always felt things that Nathan didn’t?
She flipped open the mailbox and pulled out a giant stack of bills, along with a few junk flyers. She’d leave it in a neat pile on the table for her mother to deal with. Except… a dark red crest on one of the letters caught her eye.
Burton College.
She inhaled sharply.
The small private college was her dream school. She’d applied mostly to see if she could get in, not because she expected to go. Even with financial aid, she had no way of paying the steep tuition fees. Not to mention it was too far away from home to commute, which meant she’d also need to pay for room and board.
They’d accepted her back in December, so why were they writing again now? Had they changed their mind?
Unable to wait a second longer, she tore into the letter, fingers trembling with anticipation. Her eyes raced down the page—once, twice, a third time just to make sure she understood.
Dear Jasmine Michaels:
We have further reviewed your application. In light of your academic and extracurricular achievements, we’d like to offer you our Trustee’s Scholarship that includes full tuition and boarding at our university.
The rest provided details about how and when to accept, and oh my gosh! This was life-changing. Her breaths came quicker as if trying to keep up with her pulse. She had to tell her mom, who was now off the hook for her tuition. She could quit one of her jobs and discover life outside of work once again. Maybe she would have the time to fall in love again.
She deserved that.
And Bethany was also planning to go to Burton for her pre-med studies. They could be roomies!
This was everything and more Jazz had dreamed about. She clutched the envelope to her chest. She couldn’t wait to tell Bethany or Nathan. They would both be so excited for her.
Except…
Nathan had confirmed his attendance at Queens College for next year. He didn’t have the grades or the drive to attend Burton. Moving out of state would mean moving on from their friendship and finally—finally—letting go of her delusions that they would ever be anything more than best friends for life.
The thought dampened her spirits, but only for a moment.
Burton.
Full-ride.
Dream come true.
She sighed. Being apart from him had always seemed unimaginable. This would be hard, but it was right—what was best for the both of them.
Yes, she would accept Burton College’s offer.
And she would tell Nathan about the amazing opportunity she’d been given at prom.
Nine
As promised, Nathan picked Jazz up for prom in a giant Escalade limo, complete with a cap-wearing driver and a giant bouquet of birds of paradise.
“Not roses?” Jazz asked with a laugh.
Nathan stuck out his tongue at her and made a disgusted face.
“Now that’s hot,” she said, getting into the back seat of the fancy set of wheels. She liked that Nathan considered her different, but wondered still whether it was a good different or a bad different. Perhaps she would find that out tonight.
Her toes tingled inside her strappy heels, as if they, too, couldn’t wait to dance the night away in Nathan’s arms, even if was only as friends. She was the one he’d asked. That point hadn’t been lost to her.
“Roses are too every girl USA, and you’re not just any girl, Jazz Michaels. Tonight you’re my girl, and you deserve the VIP treatment. Speakin
g of—tada!—here’s your tiara.”
She wanted nothing more than to be his girl, but… “You’re kidding.”
He was not kidding. A moment later, they were en route to prom and she was trying her best to fit the sparkling crown around her fancy updo that her mom had splurged on for her.
“Screw the prom queen,” Nathan said with laughter dancing in his eyes.
She rolled her eyes at him. “I’m sure you’d like to.”
“You’re my prom queen,” he said with that famous Nathan Reed smile that made her heart beat double-time before he snapped a quick selfie of the two of them squeezed in tightly together.
At the dance hall, Nathan pulled her against him extra close when they posed for their official prom photos. “The selfies will be better, but what the heck?”
They both smiled and said “whee!” instead of “cheese” as instructed by the photographer. Jazz felt silly, but Nathan was having a great time—and his joy was infectious.
Whether or not they were here as friends, they were here together. Senior prom was one of those special events you only got to live once, and they had chosen to spend it together. Maybe tonight she could find the courage to say the words she’d kept locked within her heart all these years. Maybe the glam and glitz of this evening would transport them to a magical realm where they both instinctively knew what the other felt and came together with no awkward words, no missed opportunities.
On the dance floor, they pumped their arms, shimmied their hips, and even did the Dougie.
The evening truly was perfect, just as Nathan had promised her… If nothing else, it was the perfect way to say goodbye, to tell him about Burton College and prepare him for her fast-approaching departure in the fall. She’d thought of her future often over the years, and she had always pictured her and Nathan together as hunched old people sitting side-by-side on their front porch.
The tempo guiding their movements slowed, and the opening notes of David Archuleta’s “Crush” filled the room. Nathan pulled Jazz to his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned back so they could talk as they danced.
Finding Mr. Happily Ever After_Nathan Page 4