“Hey, seriously, don’t worry. If I know Nate the Great, he’s probably already planning a proposal to end all proposals. How do you think he’ll do it? Ring in a champagne flute? Big, bright letters on some kind of sports score board? In a private helicopter over the city?”
Jazz laughed as she pictured each of those scenarios. “Nathan can be showy, but not when it comes to the stuff that matters. He’ll come up with something uniquely us. That is, if he ever decides to propose.”
“He will.” Bethany pulled into the train station parking lot, but remained buckled in place.
Jazz fiddled with her seatbelt, wishing this conversation would just end already.
“Jazz, look at me. Nathan is going to propose.” Bethany turned her piercing green eyes toward Jazz once more, leaving no room for argument. “That boy loves you more than anything.”
Jazz nodded, even though doubt niggled at her poor, overworked brain. She and Nathan had been together for basically their entire lives. Marriage seemed a natural progression, so why hadn’t he ever spoken of it in all his big plans for their future together? Was he holding back to surprise her, or…
No, Jazz didn’t even want to think about the alternative.
She’d been patient as she hid her feelings for him all those years ago. She’d waited until he was ready. She could do that again now.
Yes, she would wait for a sign, and until then, she would put all this proposal stuff out of her mind.
Sixteen
Jazz kicked the snow off her boots and closed the door behind her before too much cold air followed her into the Reed family home.
“Merry Christmas!” she cried, ripping off her jacket to display the ugliest Christmas sweater she’d donned yet. The green and red striped sweater had tinsel fringe at the neckline and hem, and the front donned a giant Rudolph head, complete with a light-up nose.
Nathan rushed over to give her a kiss. His sweater featured Frosty the Snowman smoking a bong instead of his traditional pipe. Neither of them had ever touched marijuana, but they found the sweater absolutely hilarious.
She laughed at the sight of her boyfriend in his naughty holiday gear, then asked, “Where’s the mistletoe?”
“C’mon, I don’t need mistletoe to kiss my best girl.”
She shook her finger at him playfully. “I better be your only girl.”
Jazz spotted her mom settled in the living room beside Mrs. Reed. The two moms, who had been casual friends and neighbors, had become inseparable once their children had started dating. Everyone assumed they would one day be in-laws and decided to start acting the part sooner rather than waiting for later.
“Twinsies!” Nathan’s mom cried, jumping to her feet and pointing to Jazz’s sweater and then her own where the same over-the-top reindeer smiled out from atop the knit pattern.
“And to think, I almost got the same Frosty the stoner sweater as Nate,” her mom joked. She wore the most modest sweater of them all. Hers was homemade with a variety of pins, brooches, ribbons, and bows crowding the surface. Despite the chaos, hers was more stylish than anyone else’s.
Jazz rolled her eyes as she pictured her mom in the ridiculous snowman sweater. “Yeah, sure you did.”
Nathan and the three women laughed it off until his father entered the room with two fingers of scotch and a generous helping of rocks rattling about in his glass. He wore a Mets jersey and a dour expression. His ruddy cheeks implied that this was not his first drink of the day, while his scowl suggested it wouldn’t be the last.
Jazz cringed as she always did whenever she saw the elder Reed. Nathan had confided so much in her over the years that she also felt personally wronged by the man even though he was generally pleasant with her.
“The director called. Seems I’m needed for a conference call with Beijing.”
Nathan’s mother sighed. “But, Benjy, it’s Christmas.”
“The world doesn’t stop just because we put some lights on a tree,” he grumbled.
Jazz’s eyes shot to Nathan, who stood shaking his head. She knew how much Christmas meant to Nathan’s mother, who never missed mass on Sundays, even if it meant going alone. To her, the holiday meant so much more than “lights on a tree.”
Nathan’s mom wiped her palms across the lap of her khakis, maintaining eye contact with her husband despite her obvious nerves. “Yes, but maybe you could. Just for one day?”
“Drop it,” he warned. “We don’t need to cause a scene in front of the neighbors.”
“It’s fine, really,” Jazz’s mother said, patting Nathan’s mom on the hand and giving her a sympathetic look. She and Jazz had talked about Nathan’s family situation. Despite their difficulties at first, they’d grown thankful over the years that her father had left. Better to struggle on their own than live every moment waiting for the other shoe—or fist—to drop.
In the Reed household, one shoe was always suspended high in the air, ready to crash down to earth.
“Dad, it’s important to mom,” Nathan whispered, unwilling to look his father in the eye.
Benjy Reed laughed. “Yeah, and so is the money my job brings in. You can’t have it both ways.”
“It’s fine, Nathan. Just let it go,” his mother pleaded.
“Mrs. Reed, do you need any help in the kitchen?” Jazz wanted desperately to break the tension. She knew how his father’s actions affected Nathan, but his mother rarely let her disappointment show. Still, how could she not be hurting after that? Maybe Jazz could make her day better.
“That would be lovely, dear. Let’s go see how that turkey’s doing.”
“Is everything okay?” Jazz asked, once the two of them were safely out of earshot from the others.
“It’s fine, really. He’s right. Work is important.”
“But so is family, tradition, the holidays.”
Nathan’s mother shuffled through the utensil drawer, then closed it without taking anything out.
“Thank you for having me and my mom over for Jesus’s birthday,” Jazz said, moving toward the junk drawer. “Speaking of, do you have any candles?”
“Sure. What do you need them for?”
“I figured while Mr. Reed is on his call, we could light birthday candles and sing a few carols. Start a new tradition. What do you say?”
“I say… Nathan is lucky to have you in his life,” she said, first handing Jazz a tiny pack of candles and then giving her a tight hug.
“No, Mrs. Reed. I’m the lucky one.” And it was true. Nathan was every birthday candle and every shooting star’s promise realized.
Seventeen
The first half of the new year passed in a whirlwind. Nathan not only accepted, but now actively supported, her decision to major in business. He volunteered a few shifts at the financial aid office to help him better understand her passion. In turn, she sometimes accompanied him to his freelance photography jobs.
Like she was doing today. She wiggled her toes.
With precious minutes left to get ready, Jazz worked her sandy hair into a bun, then sprayed so much product on it she could probably survive the apocalypse without a single hair falling out of place.
Today was a big day, and she needed to look perfect. She’d even sprung for a French tip manicure from the local salon to ensure her hands were at their prettiest.
Especially her left hand.
And its ring finger.
Jazz felt ninety-nine percent confident Nathan planned to propose tonight. She’d reviewed the facts over and over. For one thing, their two-year anniversary and her twentieth birthday, the two of which only fell nine days apart, were coming up. Add to that perfect timing, he’d asked her to tag along to a wedding he was photographing and then proceeded to make a huge deal of the couple being just like them.
“They grew up next door to each other, started dating in high school, stayed together through college, and now they’re tying the knot,” he’d explained. “They even look a bit like us. He’s this regular guy, and she
’s like supermodel beautiful.”
She giggled, loving that Nathan saw her that way. “Just like us, huh?”
“Just. Like. Us.” He bopped her nose with each word, the way he liked to do when they were being silly.
Now it was May first, the day of the Nathan’s wedding photography gig and the first marriage of the busy wedding season. Jazz thought she might also like to have a spring wedding, but she doubted Nathan would be ready to marry her so soon, and she hated the idea of waiting an entire year to officially make him her husband.
Maybe late summer at the beach before school started in the fall? Yes, that would be lovely.
“Ready to go?” Nathan asked, appearing in the doorway and wearing a new suit.
The navy blue brought out the richness of the olive undertones in his skin, and the bold sapphire of his tie made his brown eyes pop and sparkle. She tried to see if she could discern a ring box through one of his pockets, but had no such luck. Hmm. Maybe it was in his camera case.
“I was born ready,” she said, and that was true. She and Nathan were destined for each other, and it was time they fulfill God’s plan for their lives. Besides, after almost two years of officially dating, she was more than ready to consummate their relationship. Nathan had been surprised when she’d told him that she wanted to wait until marriage, but he’d always respected her boundaries, too.
Soon it would all pay off.
Through the wedding ceremony in a lovely church, she couldn’t wipe the goofy grin from her face. When the couple recited the vows they’d written for each other, tears stung at Jazz’s eyes. She worked hard not to cry from the beauty of the ceremony and love the couple shared. Luckily, Nathan was preoccupied with capturing the happenings with his camera, which meant he didn’t have time to notice Jazz’s series of sighs, smiles, and sobs.
After the ceremony, Nathan disappeared with the wedding party to take more photos and then pulled Jazz out into the church garden to take portraits of her, too.
He let out a low whistle of appreciation as he assessed her from behind the lens. “Man, you are so beautiful. The way the sun reflects off your hair looks almost like gold.”
Jazz wondered if something gold was hiding in his pocket, but tried not to be too obvious about her suspicions. “What’s gotten into you today?” she asked with another huge smile for her handsome photographer.
“Beautiful day. Beautiful girl. Beautiful life.” He wore a huge grin despite being the one behind the camera rather than in front of it. “And the perfect camera to capture them with.”
She tilted her head and straightened her spine as Nathan changed out his lens. Even though modeling didn't come natural to her, he had trained her well since discovering his love for photography. Now she felt confident, in charge, even beautiful. “I didn’t know you were such a sap when it came to weddings.”
“Not weddings,” he said, positioning her hands against the trunk of a thick oak tree. “You.”
“You’re a sap for me?” she asked with a laugh.
“Always have been. Always will be. I thought you knew that by now.” He winked flirtatiously, and she struggled not to scream yes before he even had a chance to offer her a proposal.
Jazz sighed with happiness. “Enough with the pictures. Let’s get to the reception.”
Eighteen
As the opening notes of their song floated across the dance floor, Jazz rested her head against Nathan’s shoulder.
“I put in a request with the DJ,” Nathan said right before David Archuleta sang the first words of her favorite song—their song. Could this be a coincidence, or was it further proof of Nathan’s intentions? A fresh family of butterflies took up residence in her chest. With each little wing beat, Jazz’s heartbeat sped quicker, quicker…
“Our song,” she whispered, even though she wanted to shout for joy. “You remembered.”
“How could I ever forget?” He leaned down to kiss her forehead, soft and serene like the wings of her butterflies. “That dance changed my world for the better.”
“Mine, too.” She looked into his eyes, which seemed to be dancing right along with them. The little flashes of light reflecting in his irises buzzed with anticipation.
Nathan rested his forehead against hers, holding Jazz close and guiding her to the music. He hummed the melody into her ear. She remembered how nervous he’d been during their dance at prom, how shy he’d been about expressing his feelings. Could the same thing be happening now? And if so, what should she do? Let him take his time, or help him out?
“You look incredible tonight.” His mouth widened in a smile before he leaned in to kiss her softly. When he pulled away, he kept his face close. Their breaths mingled. Her heart raced.
“It was a sweet ceremony. I liked that they wrote their own vows,” she said, if only to keep herself focused on the moment and not on the endless possibilities for their own wedding and future.
Nathan kissed her again and placed her hand on his heart. It raced like hers. Maybe he did need her help.
“I’m really enjoying myself. Thank you for bringing me.”
“Mmm,” Nathan hummed more, dancing with her in what seemed a blissful silence.
But wait. The song was ending. Shouldn’t he…
A new song played, fast and upbeat, definitely not the backdrop to a proposal.
Panic gripped at Jazz’s heart. Had Nathan lost his nerve, or had she misread the situation?
The room spun as a chorus of clinks and cheers rose from the wedding guests. The bride and groom kissed, putting on a good show for all their friends and family.
She dropped her hands from Nathan’s chest, then crossed them over her own.
“Jazz, is something wrong?” Nathan’s voice sounded as if it were a million miles away.
She was such a love-sick fool. How could she have gotten things so, so wrong? And why was she making a scene, albeit a small one, when she could have put on a brave face to avoid having a conversation she now dreaded?
Nathan reached for her hand, but she broke away from him, willing her tears to wait until she was safely outside, away from the people having a good time. She couldn’t talk to him here. Not now.
The only thing she’d ever been sure about in her life was that she and Nathan Reed belonged together, but he obviously hadn’t made up his mind about her, about their future. They’d been dating two years, friends for almost fifteen. How much more time did he need to know whether he wanted to choose her for his forever?
She knew what she wanted. She’d always known.
Him.
She wanted his ring on her finger. Not in a year or two. Now.
That was why she was so certain tonight would be the night. That in the middle of their song he would drop to one knee and propose.
Only he hadn’t.
The dance had been only a dance for him.
Unlike her.
The years of waiting for him, yearning for him, loving him crashed into her. Memories of the frustration, the hurt, and the tears. She didn’t want to go through that again. Putting off what she wanted until Nathan caught up to her.
So what was she waiting around for? Why was she constantly putting her dreams on hold to support his when he didn’t even love her enough to commit?
Stupid, stupid Jazz.
Needing distance, she burst through the swinging glass doors of the reception hall and gulped in deep, healing breaths of air. With each lungful, the fear and sadness left her body. Anger rose to take their place.
She glanced at the doors. Her heart sunk deeper.
Nathan hadn’t followed her out of the building. Did he even love her at all?
Marching around the building and toward the parking lot, she tried to think of what she would do next—what she could do. She’d left her clutch next to her dessert plate, which meant there would be no calling for help.
“Jazz! Jazz!” Nathan’s shouts wrapped around the building, his voice growing closer with each repetition.
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But Jazz didn’t stop. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation right here in the middle of the busy venue for all to see.
“Jazz, wait!” Nathan cried.
She turned to see him running toward her. She had a choice to make, and neither option was one she wanted to face. This evening was supposed to be their big moment. It was supposed to be the start of forever—and now it might well be the end.
If Nathan was this clueless about what she wanted, what she’d expected tonight, then perhaps having it out here and now was for the best.
Still, her chest burned. Every single little butterfly dropped dead as the hope for the future that had once filled her heart left with a desperate whoosh.
Nathan reached her, gasping for air, his cheeks red from the exertion. “I thought you’d gone to the bathroom. I thought you’d be right back so we could talk. What happened in there?”
This was it. She could make her embarrassing confession or she could turn away, bury the feelings deep down, and try to forget she’d ever known Nathan Reed. Looking into his familiar eyes, she would never forgive herself if she didn’t share her heartbreak with him.
They had shared everything in life until this point—she couldn’t stop now. Didn’t want to stop.
“I thought you were going to propose.”
He blinked hard as if he’d just been blinded by a too bright sun. “Propose? Why would you think that?”
And there it was. Proof they saw their relationship completely different.
Tears stung her eyes, making Nathan blur before her. She couldn’t see well enough to make out his expression. Maybe that was for the best.
“Jazz, talk to me,” he said, not betraying any single emotion while here Jazz stood wearing her giant heart on the strap of her sleeveless gown.
Jazz blinked to clear her vision. She needed to rein in her emotions, to stop the tears from spilling. But what she needed and what she got were two very different things.
Finding Mr. Happily Ever After_Nathan Page 7