by K. C. Lynn
“What else is new?” Kayla replies.
“Yeah, but he’s gotten worse since Wyatt.”
We all become quiet, thinking about the awful event that happened a few months ago. I reach over and squeeze Julia’s hand; Kayla joins too.
“Well I think it’s real sweet how protective he is of you. I know it probably drives you crazy, but I’d give anything for someone to love me like that. The only one who has ever shown me a love like that was my Mama.”
Giving me a sad smile, Julia gives my own hand a gentle squeeze back.
Kayla breaks up the heavy moment. “Okay enough stalling, spill it, Grace. What is going on with you and sexy ass?” she asks with a curious smile.
I look away, trying not to blush. “Nothin’ is goin’ on with us. He showed up earlier in the week and started walkin’ me home at night. Said he wanted to get to know me better, since we are both close with Jaxson and Julia.”
Kayla’s smile turns knowingly. “He’s fucking lying. He likes you.”
“I agree with Kayla.”
I shrug, “I’m not too sure about that, but I have enjoyed gettin’ to know him. There’s more to him than I realized. He isn’t just all beauty and arrogance.”
“No shit?” Kayla asks, seeming surprised by the fact.
We all chuckle, but I sober quickly. “Yeah, he can actually be quite sweet. He’s been real good to me; has said some awfully nice things,” I pause for a moment, before I confess, “I told him about my Mama. Also told him about my Dad too.”
“Holy shit, really?” Kayla asks in shock. Julia looks surprised as well. “I know. I was just as shocked. But he’s real easy to talk to.”
“Well that doesn’t surprise me. I’ve always known there’s more to Sawyer than his charm and insane good looks. He was amazing to me when Jaxson went off the deep-end about the baby.” Julia goes quiet for a minute then asks, “Did he tell you about when he, Cade and Jaxson were held captive?”
My eyes bug out and I shake my head, “No! They were?”
I knew Jaxson had gotten hurt in the line of duty, but I didn’t know it was that awful. Julia’s eyes fill with sadness, “Yes. I don’t know much of the story, and, to be honest, I don’t want to either. It was real awful, and Jaxson bears some very horrendous scars from it. I imagine both Sawyer and Cade bear the same ones.”
My heart becomes heavy and my stomach twists at the thought of someone hurting Sawyer… or any of the guys for that matter.
We all sit in a gloomy silence now, and I decide to drop another bombshell on them: “I contacted my father.” Both of their heads snap up in surprise at me. “I sent him a letter last week because I was too scared of being rejected in person. But his assistant called me yesterday; he wants to meet me for supper tomorrow night. His driver is pickin’ me up at seven.” I smile, feeling happy he didn’t reject me.
Julia smiles back and reaches for my hand again. “That’s great, Grace.”
Kayla clears her throat nervously, “Grace, girl, you know I love you and I’m real happy for you. But… have you thought about if it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to? Not that I think it will, but I think you should just be prepared, in case it doesn’t. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
I nod, understanding her concern. “I have thought about it, but why else would he want to meet me? And I also think that if he doesn’t want me in his life, well… then nothing changes in mine, right?”
Reaching out, she places her hand over Julia’s and mine. “Right. He will be a fool if that’s the case, but I’m sure it isn’t. I’m sure he will know a good thing when he sees it.”
“Thanks, Kayla,” I respond quietly. Seriously these girls are the best.
I turn to address Julia now, “Ummm, Julia? Do you think it would be all right if I borrowed one of your nicer dresses again? This restaurant seems pretty fancy and I really want to make a good impression.”
“Of course you can, but, Grace, if you showed up in pajamas you would still make a good impression. Anyone who meets you knows you’re a special person, no matter what you’re wearing.”
“Damn straight,” Kayla adds.
My throat goes tight at their kind words. “Thanks y’all. I think you girls are pretty special too.”
We all smile at one another. “All right, enough of this sappy shit, let’s move on to a more fun topic, like getting Sawyer to give Grace her first big O.”
We burst out laughing at Kayla’s change of topic.
“Wait, hold that thought!” Kayla says, putting her hand up. “First thing I want to know is: how the hell have you not masturbated after reading the shit you do?” she asks in regards to the book I lent her.
I feel myself turn beet red. “I’m serious, Grace, that was some major sexy shit! You have got to give me more of it! Even Coop wants to thank you. I attacked the shit out of him every time I picked the damn thing up.”
Julia and I both chuckle. “This sounds juicy, Grace, I need to borrow it now.”
“Of course you can. It’s a real great love story.”
“And the sex is fucking hot!” Kayla adds. “Believe me, Grace, we need to get Sawyer going on this. The real thing is so much better than reading about it,” she says with a wink.
I laugh again, and I’m not going to lie, a sharp ache starts between my legs at the thought of Sawyer doin’ anything to me.
“What the fuck is with you, man? You have been in a weird fucking mood all day,” Jaxson asks as we screw in drywall at the gym. Cade and Cooper glance over at me, clearly wondering the same thing.
“I just have a lot of shit on my mind lately.”
Ever since Grace’s confession the other night, I’ve been in a bad mood. I try hiding it when I’m around her, but it’s fucking hard.
With the devil… Her words constantly replay in my head, making me conjure up all sorts of fucking terrible images at what that meant.
I’ve been worrying about her all day because I know she’s meeting her useless father tonight, and I have a bad fucking feeling it isn’t going to go well.
“Did Julia ever tell you about how Grace’s mom died?”
Cooper snaps his head in my direction again and Cade stops what he’s doing to listen.
Jaxson shakes his head, “No, but I did try getting it out of her. She wouldn’t budge; said she didn’t want to betray her trust.”
I understand where Julia is coming from and if it were anyone else in this room with me I wouldn’t share this either. “She was raped and murdered.”
“Holy fuck, are you serious?” he asks with a mixture of shock and rage. Cade’s eyes go dark too, which I knew would, since that shit is already a touchy subject for him.
Cooper though, doesn’t seem all that shocked. “You knew,” I state to him.
“Yeah I did. I knew before the girls. When Kayla told me she suspected Grace was alone, and something had happened, I looked into it. It’s not hard to find, anyone could Google it. It was fucking splashed all over the news for months, so there’s a lot of information out there. But I was able to see the case file.”
Jaxson snaps his head now in Coop’s direction. “That’s what you were looking at, that day when I first came back.”
He confirms with a nod.“Do you know who she lived with after?” I ask him.
“From what I could gather some Uncle who lives in Virginia. Why?” he asks suspiciously.
I shrug, “Just wondering.” I decide not to share that piece of information, at least not yet.
They all know I’m lying but they let it drop. “What exactly are your intentions with her, Evans?” Jaxson asks.
Well now, if that isn’t the million dollar fucking question. “I still don’t know, but I’m working on figuring it out.”
“Well whatever you do, don’t fuck her around. Not only because she doesn’t deserve it, but also because it will upset Jules. Then I will have to kick your ass for that alone.”
“If my intention was to fucking hurt
her I’d have already fucked her and been done with it, asshole.” Everyone’s gaze snaps to me at my outburst. I take a deep breath, “Look I like her a lot, all right. But I don’t want to fuck anything up, not only for the two of us but also you and Julia, so don’t fucking worry about it. I’m treading carefully.”
Jaxson and I glare off for a minute longer before he shrugs, “All right, just make sure you do.”
I grunt, “Whatever. Where is your woman anyway?” The last few months he hasn’t left her side, not that I blame him.
“She’s over at Grace’s with Kayla, helping her get ready for the meeting with her father tonight.”
“Do you know who her father is?” Cooper asks me.
I shake my head. I guess I should have asked her, she did say he was a big deal.
His expression turns serious. “He’s a political figure: John Weston Jr., the Lieutenant Governor.”
Well fuck me; that’s not fucking good at all. “What are you telling me, Coop? Are you trying to say this isn’t going to go well tonight?”
He shrugs, “I don’t know the guy personally, but I talked with Kayla about this last night. Grace doesn’t think he knows about her mom. The guy has powerful resources, I’ll bet he not only knew about her mom, but also, has probably always known where Grace is. He has a family of his own, kids that are close to her age. His reputation is a big deal to him, so if I had to guess… no I don’t think it will go well.”
Yeah pretty much what I fucking thought too.
Lord, I have never been so nervous in all my life. I link my cold, clammy fingers together tightly to stop from shakin’, and my heart pounds like a drum in my chest.
I’m sitting in the back seat of the most expensive car I have ever seen; being chauffeured to the restaurant by a driver who is not all that friendly. From the moment the older, grey-haired man picked me up he did not smile when I did, he barely said hello and he looked at me like he knew I didn’t belong in the dress I was wearin’. This did not help my already jumbled nerves. His mood became even more disapproving when Kayla cracked her joke: “You make sure you bring her back in one piece to us, Alfred, no secret visits to the bat cave, ya hear?”
I held in my chuckle, he did look like Alfred from Batman, just not as friendly, unfortunately he did not find this as funny as the rest of us.
A sudden ping of a text pulls me out of my thoughts. It’s probably Kayla and Julia. Even though they tried to hide it I’m pretty sure they were more nervous than me. But to my surprise it wasn’t either of them… it was Sawyer.
Sexy Sawyer: Good luck tonight, Cupcake, I’ll be thinking about you. Text me when you get back and tell me how it went. If you find yourself getting nervous just think about me naked, then a whole different feeling will hit you. ;)
Smiling, I shake my head… typical Sawyer. A warmth fills me like no other, and settles my nerves.
Grace: How am I supposed to picture you naked if I’ve never seen you without clothes on?”
I’m starting to get a little better at this flirtin’ thing with him, which gives me pride since he’s the king of it.
Sexy Sawyer: Believe me, Cupcake, I’m fucking hot. But you’re right; you won’t be able to picture it, because even your wildest imagination couldn’t dream up my perfection.
A quiet giggle escapes, he’s probably telling the truth; I’ll just bet he looks all sorts of delicious naked.
Grace: I’m picturing you right now, dancing to ‘I’m Sexy and I Know It’ kissing each of your biceps. That calmed my nerves right down, so I will continue to picture it. Have a good night, Sexy Sawyer, I will text you later.
Sexy Sawyer: Touché, my little Cupcake… touché. I will be waiting for your text.
I put my phone back in my purse, and soon the warmth that Sawyer just filled me with is replaced with anxiety when we pull up to the restaurant.
Oh gosh I think I’m going to be sick. What do I do when I see him? Do I hug him or shake his hand? Should I start by tellin’ him about Mama, or wait?
I get confused when we pull into the back of the restaurant. “Why are you parkin’ here?”
“Mr. Weston prefers his privacy,” Grumpy Alfred replies stonily.
Oh well… I guess that makes sense. Coming around, he opens the door for me; I can tell this is only because it’s what is expected of him, not because he is a gentleman. Sheesh, I wonder if he’s like this with everyone or just me.
I step out shakily and smooth my hands down the black, satin dress Julia lent me. I have to say, even though I don’t feel it, I definitely look like I could fit in with this place. The girls did wonders on my hair and make-up.
The back door swings open, displaying a man in a suit with an earpiece, lookin’ like he’s from Men In Black. He looks back and forth as if expecting trouble any minute. “Miss Morgan?” I nod my head, too nervous to speak. “This way, Mr. Weston is waiting.”
I walk inside and follow him in a zigzag motion as we dodge any other customers. My stomach begins to sink with dread when I see that we are headed towards a private room where no one can see us.
Don’t jump to conclusions, Grace; he’s the Lieutenant Governor. Like Grumpy Alfred said he likes his privacy.
My little self-talk comes to an abrupt halt when I enter the room and see my father in person for the very first time. Time stands still as we both take each other in. He’s pretty much what I expected, since I have seen him in articles and news feed. He’s dressed in a crisp grey business suit that screams money. His dark salt and pepper hair is slicked back from his face, revealing hazel eyes. He’s your typical tall, dark and handsome. I really don’t look too much like him; there are some resemblances but not much.
He seems just as nervous as me, which makes me feel marginally better. He clears his throat, “Well, you sure do look like your Mama.”
Still too nervous to form any words, I offer him a shaky smile and nod.
He gestures to the table, “Come and have a seat. I already took the liberty of ordering for us; our food should arrive shortly.”
Oh, that’s a little strange. How does he know if I will like it or not? Maybe that’s how rich people do things? I shake off my thoughts and take the chair opposite him. I try not to let it sting that he doesn’t offer his hand or a hug.
As soon as I sit down the waiter asks what wine I prefer. He lists things I’ve never heard. “Oh, uh, anythin’, white is fine. Thank you.”
The waiter rudely quirks a brow at me before walking away. The room is filled with awkward silence; especially since Grumpy Alfred and the Men In Black guy are standing by the door watching us intently.
“So, Grace, what can I do for you?” my father asks, looking at me with expectation.
“Pardon me?” I ask, thinkin’ I’m misunderstandin’ him.
“You contacted me with a letter, so I’m curious what it is that you want from me. What is it you’re looking to get from our meeting?”
Isn’t it obvious? My already twisted stomach sinks further with dread. I try to hold in any pain I feel, not wantin’ to embarrass myself. I clear my tight throat. “Well
I’m not real sure. I wanted to meet you; I thought maybe we could get to know each other. Mama told me some about you, but not a whole lot.”
I decide maybe now’s a good time to tell him about Mama, but before I can say anything he interrupts me by letting out a weary sigh. “Listen, Grace, I’m going to be up front with you. I’m not sure what your mother all shared with you. I cared about her a lot but we came from two different families, and I had expectations I had to follow due to my family’s political position. I now have a family of my own, and I still have a reputation I need to stand by. If this…” he gestures with his hand between the two of us, “ever got out it would hurt the family I have now, a lot. Do you understand?”
No, I’m not sure I do. I’m not sure I understand anythin’ that is comin’ out of his mouth, because as soon as he started spouting the painful words, agony was rippin�
� through my already damaged heart, making it impossible for me to follow him. He becomes blurry in front of me as tears cloud my eyes.
His eyes seem to darken a little with regret. Or maybe it’s my imagination.
Letting out another breath he reaches in his pocket and hands a folded piece of paper to me, “Here, I know your Mama never accepted anything from me, at the beginning when I offered, and that did make me feel bad. Hopefully this will make up for some of it, if not all of it.”
When I don’t take the folded check, he opens it up and lays it down in front of me. I gasp when I see the amount: $50,000.
Before I can get my mouth to work, he adds: “I’m truly sorry about what happened to your Mama, she was a good lady and didn’t deserve that.”
My gaze snaps to his in shock. “You know?”
He nods with regret and I completely snap. “You knew this whole time and you never came for me?” He shifts nervously as I start to shout. I can tell he’s about to open his ugly mouth again, but I don’t let him. “Do you have any idea who I was sent to live with? What I had to endure because I had no one or nowhere to go? How could you just leave me with him? How could you not have come for me?” Every agonized word falls with desperation from my lips.
Before he can give a shitty answer I stand up, grab his check and rip the damn thing up into a million pieces then throw it at him. “Money will never, ever make up for it. The best thing that ever happened to my Mother was you walkin’ out on her, because she was way too good for your pretentious ass.” Stalking to the door, I turn back to face him when my hand grasps the handle, “Enjoy your family. I hope you teach your kids more morals and values than what you were raised with.” With that last parting comment I open the door and get the hell out of there.
I thought my heart was already completely broken, but I must have had some still intact. Whatever I did have left was definitely shattered now.
As the driver takes me home I let silent tears fall as I think about every crack of the belt, burn from the pot and cruel touch that came from his hands all because I had no one. I still don’t.