by K. C. Lynn
“This isn’t violence, Cupcake, it’s self-defense. Look I don’t plan on leaving your side until that fucker is back behind bars, but anything can happen, and I will feel a whole lot better knowing you can at least shoot a fucking gun if you need to. I also want to take you to the gym sometime soon, show you some self-defense moves.”
I let out a nervous breath, my nerves feelin’ beyond frayed. “All right,” I agree reluctantly, “I guess it ain’t a bad idea.”
“Good. After we eat we’ll get ready to go,” he replies with a satisfied nod.
“Okay. I also need to go by the diner at some point; I have to talk to Mac about my schedule. We didn’t get much of a chance to talk about it last night.”
He frowns, “You shouldn’t work right now.”
I rear back in shock. “Sawyer, I ain’t got no choice. I don’t have the money to not work.”
He shrugs, “Don’t worry about the money. I have more than enough to help out.”
I stare at him flabbergasted and my blood begins to boil. I stand up, “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that and go get ready.”
I stalk off to my room quickly, before I say somethin’ I regret.
Don’t worry about the money. I have more than enough to help out.
If that man thinks I’m going to be acceptin’ anything else from him he’s got another thing comin’.
Two hours later, Sawyer’s handin’ me big-ass safety glasses and ear protection that looks like headphones.
I look at them with uncertainty before putting them both on, then follow him into the gun range. We walk up to an open space that’s semi-private with a small wall on either side of us. I stare at the target that’s hanging in front of me. Suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder and jump.
Turning around, I see Sawyer laughing. He pulls my ear protection off and hangs them around my neck. “Baby, you don’t need these on till you shoot. Otherwise you can’t hear me.”
Oh, I guess that makes sense. “Sorry,” I reply embarrassed.
Sawyer grins, “It’s not a big deal. I have to say, Cupcake, you look pretty fucking cute in all this gear.”
I roll my eyes but feel myself blush deeper. Sheesh, I hate that.
I watch Sawyer open the steel case that he brought from my house. I had figured last night, when we went to his place and got his stuff, there were guns in it but I didn’t want to think about it. Because then I would think about why he may need them and that would just get me all worked up again. Even though I am still upset and terrified, I feel a whole lot better knowin’ Sawyer is with me. I meant what I said: no one makes me feel safer than him.
As much as I hate guns, I have to admit, Sawyer looks damn good while loadin’ one. I look over the rest of him while I wait. It really is unfair how incredibly hot the man is. Today he’s wearin’ his standard kick-ass sexy jeans and T-shirt that molds in all the right places and hangs just right in others.
Even though there’s nothin’ fancy about his clothes it still makes me feel dowdy in my black yoga pants and hot pink tank.
When he clears his throat my eyes shoot up to his, and my face turns a serious shade of red when I see his smug smile.
“Whenever you’re done looking, Cupcake, I’m ready.”
I narrow my eyes, “I’d be careful how smug you get, Evans, considerin’ you’re puttin’ a gun in my hands.”
Chuckling, he turns his black Hurley hat backwards then puts his own glasses on. Oh damn, I swear he just got hotter, it ain’t right.
He hands me the gun now; I take it nervously then listen to his instructions about takin’ off the safety and how to hold it.
“All right, turn around,” he says, grabbing onto my shoulders, turning me himself. “Spread your legs shoulder-width apart, and this foot just a little step in front of the other.”
I follow his instruction, but it isn’t good enough. “No wider,” grabbing a hold of my hips, he kicks my feet further apart with his.
Holy moses that was hot.
Feelin’ the warmth of his hands on my waist is makin’ it hard for me to pay attention.
“All right, now hold up the gun.” I raise it. “Forward, baby. You’re going to shoot the goddamn roof off holding it like that,” Sawyer laughs.
I get embarrassed. “Stop laughin’ at me. You act like I should be an expert or somethin’. It’s not like I’ve ever done this before.”
“I’m not laughing at you, Cupcake.”
“Yes you are!”
“All right, I am.” I elbow him in the stomach, which only makes him chuckle more.
Stupid, sexy jerk.
“Okay, I promise I’ll stop. Now hold your arms in front of you and I’ll reposition your hands, to show you how to hold the gun.”
I raise the gun again, this time directly in front of me. Sawyer starts explainin’ somethin’ but his words completely fade away when his hard, warm body presses against my back, and his arms come around mine, helping me hold the gun.
Oh god! For a girl who’s never had an orgasm before I’m pretty sure I’m about to have one, and the man isn’t even doin’ anythin’ to me.
The heat from his body, mixed in with his delicious masculine scent, has completely short-circuited my brain, makin’ it impossible for any coherent thoughts.
“Grace!” Sawyer’s warning growl in my ear has me snappin’ back into my head. His breath in my ear jacks up my desire to a whole new level. Grabbing my hips, he pulls my ass into his giant erection.
I gasp, and without meanin’ to, a small moan escapes my lips. Good lord, I’m not sure my panties have ever been this wet in my life.
He lets out a groan, “Baby, you better stop that shit now. My dick has been so fucking hard for you the last few months. I will have no control to stop myself from bending you over right here, and fucking you within an inch of both our lives.”
Yikes!
I’m pretty sure he ain’t lyin’ about his control. You can hear it in his voice; he’s close to losin’ it, and boy do I ever want to see what he’s like when he loses it… I think.
“Fuck!” Cursing, he pushes away from me.
I grab onto the wall to steady myself and instantly miss the feel of his warm body against mine. I look back at him nervously, and see him strung tight, lookin’ like a caged animal.
His green eyes glow with the same need that I feel. I’ve read about feelins’ like this in my books, but I never ever thought they really existed. I guess I understand what Kayla and Julia are talkin’ about now… well kinda.
Sawyer closes his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, as if tryin’ to regain some measure of control. Well I’m glad to know he feels what I’m feelin’.
A minute later he looks back at me, seeming a little more composed. “All right, turn back around and get into position again.” I do what he asks. This time when he comes back over, he stands to the side of me and places my hands where they need to be.
“Okay, now it’s important to keep your arms locked and tight, do not loosen your stance.”
I nod in understanding, but my hands start visibly shaking from nerves. “You got this, Grace.”
I’m not so sure about that; I don’t feel very confident at all. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sawyer put on his ear protection, then he reaches over, putting mine in place.
He nods, givin’ me the go-ahead, but I stand frozen. My body starts shakin’ as badly as my hands, and tears form in my eyes. Which is so stupid; it’s nothin’ to cry over, but for some reason I’m terrified to pull the trigger.
Sawyer moves behind me again and places a kiss on the side of my head, lettin’ me know it’s all right. Wrapping his strong arms around mine once again, he locks up both our stances and places his finger over the trigger with my own. Then suddenly the gun is going off.
The first time, I flinch, but Sawyer has a tight hold so it doesn’t affect our aim. The more we shoot, the more comfortable I begin to feel. After five additional shots, Sawyer reloads t
hen hands me back the gun. I take it with a little more confidence, and he stands behind me again but doesn’t help.
I aim at the target, doing exactly what Sawyer told me to, and lock my stance. Staring at the piece of paper in front of me I start to feel nervous again, but then an image of Miguel pops into my head and replaces the paper. I picture those dark malicious eyes that stole my mother’s last breath and I just go for it. The first shot I stumble back a bit, but quickly regain my footing and lock my stance up tighter. I continue my shots consecutively and hit the paper every time until my clip is empty.
I stand there for a stunned second and stare at my target, feelin’ a confidence I haven’t felt since Mama. A huge smile breaks over my face and I turn around to see a matching one on Sawyer’s, “Oh my god, Sawyer, did you see that? I shot that shit up.”
He bursts out laughing and I launch myself at him in excitement. “This is so darn excitin’. I can’t believe how badass I just was. Anybody who thinks about messin’ with me better think twice now.”
Okay maybe that’s a little overboard but still this is a big deal to me.
Sawyer chuckles again, “Yeah, baby, you did real good. I’m proud of you, Grace.”
My throat clogs with emotion from his praise. I squeeze him tighter and bury my face into his neck. “Thank you, Sawyer, for teachin’ me this. You’ll never know what it means to me. I haven’t felt safe in a long time.”
He keeps me close. “I promise you, Grace, you’re safe now. I’ll always protect you, no matter what.”
And for the first time in three years, I really do feel safe. Probably even safer than when it was just Mama and I, because I believed Sawyer with every fiber of my being. I believe he will never let anyone hurt me again.
Later that evening, after supper, I’m in the back of the diner talking with Mac about my schedule. I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him, “Sawyer put you up to this, didn’t he?”
Maybe that’s why he was actin’ weird at supper; we had such a great day together, and then, while we were eating, he seemed upset about somethin’.
I can tell by Mac’s expression I’m right. “Now don’t go getting’ all mad, you stubborn girl. Sawyer may have brought it up with me, but I had already thought about it, and it’s my decision.”
I shake my head, “I can’t, Mac. I appreciate what you’re tryin’ to do, but I can’t accept paychecks when I’m not workin’, it ain’t right. Why don’t we just cut down my shifts a little?”
“You’re still working, darlin’, you’re just doing it from home.”
I roll my eyes, “My pies ain’t worth what you’re trying to pay me.”
“The hell they aren’t.” He mumbles, “Listen, you’re going to accept this, Grace. I need you to worry about yourself right now. I can’t have anything happen to you, it would break my heart.”
My throat becomes tight at his sweet words. Mac walks over and wraps me in one of his famous bear hugs. “You have people who love and care about you, darlin’, let us help you.”
“I love you too, Mac,” I choke out, “what are you gonna do for help?”
“Don’t worry about us. Shelly is doing better now, and Ruby said she would come help out. I also have another interview tomorrow.”
“Hopefully they catch him soon.”
“I hope the son of a bitch comes in here. I’ll fry the mother fucker’s ass right there on that grill,” he seethes, pointin’ his flipper at the big sizzlin’ grill.
I chuckle at the image and hug him tighter. “Thanks, Mac, for everythin’. One of the best things that ever happened to me was meetin’ you.”
“Me too, girl. You’re like the daughter I never had.” Ok now that makes me blubber. I wish Mac could have been my father, although if he were, he would have never left Mama or me.
He steps back a minute later. “Now go on and get out of here. Don’t keep Sawyer waiting too long. I’ll see you tomorrow when you bring in your pies.”
I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, then walk out with a smile on my face that dies quickly when I see Sawyer leaning against the counter, with Jenny glued to his arm.
Rage, jealousy and a sick feeling hits my stomach. I try to breathe through it, not wantin’ to let her get to me. Sawyer doesn’t see me, since his back is to me, but I can tell he’s upset at whatever he and Jenny are talkin’ about.
She looks over at me smugly, and that’s when Sawyer turns around to see me.
“You ready to go?” he asks, walking away without a second glance at her. That should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. Damn I hate feelin’ this way, and I hate that I can’t get her stupid moans out of my head.
“Yup!” I try to sound disinterested but I’m pretty sure I snapped. I walk out the door before Sawyer and wait at his truck. He walks out a few seconds later. I climb in before he can come help me and slam the door.
Damn! Stop bein’ so petty, Grace!
I try, I really do, but it just ain’t happenin’ because those stupid moans are fillin’ my head.
I feel Sawyer watch me as he pulls away, and I’m thankful it’s dark out so he can’t see how upset I am.
“Did you get everything worked out with Mac?”
“Yup!” I answer, staring out my window.“Is he giving you some time off?”
“Yup!”
“Is there a goddamn problem, Grace?”
“Nope!”
He grunts, not believin’ me, but leaves it alone. I feel bad, I’m madder at Jenny than I am at him. But right now, I’m not feelin’ very logical. That girl just gets under my skin. She has always been so darn mean to me; treatin’ me like I don’t deserve to breathe just because I don’t drive a nice car or have money like her. And the way she rubbed Sawyer in my face, ugh, just thinkin’ about it makes me sick to my stomach.
As soon as we pull into my driveway, I hop out of the truck and hurry into the house. I bend down to hug Chuckie when he comes runnin’ over to me.
Sawyer comes chargin’ in a second later. “You want to just tell me what has you so pissed off, so we can get it the fuck out of the way?”
I look over to see him glarin’ at me, and all I can hear are Jenny’s cruel taunts:
“Cut your losses now, Grace; he’s too good for someone like you; he told me this morning I was the best he ever had while we were enjoying your Forgiveness Pie.”
Even though I know she lied, it doesn’t stop it from hurting. Especially when her moans still ring in my head. I have too many mixed emotions right now to talk with him about it.
I shake my head sadly, “Nothing, I’m goin’ to bed, I’m not feeling well.”
I walk into my room and pick up one of my books, hoping it will quiet the snooty voice that’s stuck in my head.
A clanging noise awakens me. Glancing at the clock I see it’s three am. What the fuck is she doing in the kitchen at this time of night? I debate whether to go check, she was so damn pissed off tonight at god knows what. Christ, that woman confuses the shit out of me.
When I hear more banging around I give up. Fuck it! I’ll just go make sure she’s all right then I’ll come back to bed.
I throw on my jeans from earlier, not bothering with the button. Right when I’m about to walk out I turn around and decide I better put my shirt on too. The scars on my back aren’t fucking pretty, and now is not the time I want her to see them.
Making my way towards the kitchen, I hear her talking to herself, or I’m assuming it’s to herself, and she still sounds pissed. I pull up short when I see her pacing angrily with a wooden spoon, grabbing shit to make a pie with. The dog’s head moves from side to side as he sits in the corner watching her.
“Oh my god, really? You like my boobs? Well thank you, they’re fake, just like me.”
What the fuck?
My mouth splits into a grin as I watch my Cupcake mimic what I’m assuming is that bitch Jenny, and it takes every ounce of willpower not to burst out laughing.
So this is what she’s
mad about… Jenny. Well fuck, now I feel like shit.
I watch her angrily bang things around, and my eyes zone in on her sweet ass in her tiny shorts. Her crazy ass talking brings my attention back to the rest of her:
“And I’m gonna put ice cream in it because she’s a cold bitch; a cold, fake bitch. I’m gonna call it Cold, Fake Bitch Pie.”
She grabs the bag of flour and I just can’t contain myself anymore. I walk up so I’m only a couple feet away from her. “You should just call it Jealousy Pie.” I realize my mistake too late.
“AHHHHH!!!!” She turns around and throws the goddamn bag of flour at me, dousing me in the shit, then whacks me in the fucking head with her wooden spoon.
“Ow, fuck!” I drop the bag of flour then rip the spoon out of her hand. “Jesus Christ, Grace, it’s me.”
She gasps, “Oh my god, Sawyer. I’m so sorry. I thought you were a robber. Are you all right?”
We stare at each other in silence for a minute, trying to get our bearings. Then, not being able to contain it anymore, we both burst out laughing. She puts her hands on each side of her pink cheeks, “Oh my gosh. I’m so embarrassed right now.” She walks over and sits at the kitchen table, dropping her head in her hands. “You must think I’m a complete loon. I swear I don’t always talk to myself.”
Chuckling, I grab the chair next to her and sit down. I pull it as close as I can, then touching the side of her chin, I tilt her face forcing her to look at me.
Her cheeks are still pink from embarrassment and she has a hint of a smile, but I also see the hurt in her eyes. “That’s why you were so mad at me earlier?”
She tries to drop her head, but I don’t let her. “Don’t look away. Talk to me, Grace.”
She debates it for another minute before clearing her throat, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t really mad at you. I just don’t like her Sawyer; she’s said some real awful things to me. It’s bad enough bein’ in the same room as her,” she pauses, “but it hurts even more to see her hang off you like that. It’s a reminder of what I heard that night and it’s somethin’ I’m trying real hard to forget.”