by Jeff Vrolyks
Then she remembered what Theo had said at the river a couple days ago. How would she feel if he wanted to marry another woman too? He had asked Carmen to write him a letter stating how it felt. Ha! Write him a letter. That would be a waste of a piece of paper, a stamp, and her time. Theo had a point, though. It was easy for her to see a future with a husband where she was the only woman in the household, because she grew up with her mom being the only woman for her dad. That doesn’t mean Matthew will be like her father, though. Matthew wasn’t anything like her father, now that she thought about it. What does Matthew think about plural marriage? She wondered. It seemed outrageous that she didn’t know the answer to that. Would it affect her decision to be with him? If there was no Theo in her life, it might not. But with Theo in her life again, it made a huge impact on her willingness to be Matthew’s girlfriend and eventual bride. She should bring it up to him one of these days in the near future. Perhaps this weekend when they were out of town. Yes, that would be a great time. She’d need to…
A Ford F-150 pulled up in the parking lot. She smiled at it and left her chair to meet him in the doorway. She put her arms around him and hugged, imbibing his scent, which might have been aftershave. His shoulders were broad, she could scarcely touch her hands together when hugging around them. They were the powerful shoulders of a football player. She wished Matthew was a little more on the muscular side, though it wasn’t a fair comparison, a banker and a football player. Everything about Theo was hard, smooth soft skin covering dense rock-hard muscles. She could get used to that real fast. Bad Carmen, she reproached, bad! There was something else hard on him, something which made her feel both excited and curious, and it was pressing against her lap, which was far from the worst sensation she’d ever experienced.
She released Theo and they went inside. On the way to her desk she said, intoned, “For erections lasting longer than four hours, consult your physician. Is that why you’re here, sir? Has it been four hours?” She took her seat and smiled at Theo who stood between the two chairs fronting the desk, arms folded under his chest, a quizzical expression boring down on her. “Have a seat, pervert. Make yourself comfortable, stay awhile.”
“Pervert?” His eyes were wide, a slight grin. “You’re sure in a good mood, considering you were crying on the phone an hour ago.”
“Yeah, I guess I am. Things will be okay.” She glanced down at the bulge in his jeans, and covered her smiling mouth. “Tell me, Theo, is that a gun in your pants or are you happy to see me?”
He glimpsed down at his crotch, then met eyes with Carmen. “You think this is me?” His laughter was one-sided. He pulled the hem of his flannel shirt up, gripped the handle of a handgun and unsheathed it from his pants. “It is a gun in my pants, but I’m still happy to see you.”
“Oh my,” she breathed and covered her flushed face with both hands. “How embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. Had there not been a .38 caliber gun against my anatomy, two pounds of trigger-pressure away from making me the first female quarterback up for the draft, you may have felt the same thing against you.” He set the gun on the desk and sat down.
“That was sweet of you to come so quickly.”
“There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear from a woman.”
She considered what he said before laughing. “Don’t be a sicko, Beaver.”
“Me? You’re the one talking about erections.”
“Because I thought I felt it. Just forget I said anything.” Her face was as red as a roma tomato.
“And since when do you call me Beaver? I haven’t heard that since… well since we were kids.”
“Beaver Cleaver. My Teddy Graham.”
Theo thought she had never looked more beautiful. Her black eye-liner ran a little, and her cheeks had faint tear-scars on them, lines of mingled pink and black running down her smooth fair skin. But her eyes were now smiling, the corners of her lips held a steady upturn, enough to broadcast her good temperament. Here was the face of a woman delivered from pain and sadness, and that is what made her so beautiful just then. He wanted to kiss her. Wanted it more than ever, and it had nothing to do with his sexual attraction for her. It had nothing to do with hormones and pleasure-seeking. He simply wanted to be closer to her, to connect with her so intimately. And what better way than by a kiss? The one last night merely whetted his appetite; it was voracious now, even amidst this unknown degree of crisis.
He was staring at her lips when he said, “What’s happened since we last spoke? What settled your nerves?”
“The doctor. Gary.” She was looking at the gun.
“Go ahead and take it,” he said, nodded at the gun. “For as long as you need. It’s my father’s. He keeps it in a shoe-box in his closet. It’ll be ten years before he realizes it’s gone. There are seven bullets in the magazine. Don’t worry, the safety’s on.”
“I’m not worried. I’ve handled guns most my life.” She opened a drawer on the desk and put the gun inside. “Thank you, that was thoughtful.”
“I figure you should keep it in your purse, and keep your purse close at hand until we get this sorted out.” He noticed both office doors were open and there was no sign of Doctor Gerhart. “Where’s the doc?”
“Probably picking up a sandwich. He’ll be back any minute.”
“So what did you tell him?”
“Everything.”
Theo gaped. “Everything?”
“Everything but the most important thing. That we were responsible. I said that we found him dead and left, ten years ago.”
“Carmen,” he said disappointedly, “why would you do that? That’s not good.”
“Do you have a better idea?” she said defensively. “We need help, and he is a smart man with a lot of resources.” She reflected back on what she just said. “Well, I need help. I don’t mean to include you in this.”
“Bullshit, I’m in this just as much as you.”
She showed her gratitude with her eyes.
“I told him everything, about the tent and how the man living in it may have been the one who entered my house, and followed us into the mine.”
“What did he have to say about it?”
“He wanted to get Andrew involved, a church elder, apprehend the man from the tent.” She saw the consternation in his eyes. “Don’t worry, he promised he wouldn’t. And he’s trustworthy. He won’t mention it.”
“If you say so,” he said doubtfully.
“I do. He really likes you, Theo. Really likes you. He wouldn’t want to hurt your career any more than I would. That said, I told him about the gun and the wallet and my computer. He thinks the man might be trying to blackmail you.”
“I think he’s right. If the man knows who I am, that is. It’s hard to say how much he knows because we don’t know how much he heard of our conversations, and I don’t recall everything we said. I doubt we said anything about the NFL, did we?”
“We sure did. You said something about Matthew, how he probably hates Stanford now and will hate the Forty Niner’s next year. Not a Graham fan. I said he’d be intimidated by you because you’re going to be rich soon.”
“Crap. You’re right. That was just about the time we heard the noise, too. Damnit.”
“At least we have a strong theory of what we’re up against. What Gary suggested is we confront the man at the tent. He said we should all carry a gun, to scare him. We’d talk to him, get my gun back, and tell him to leave us alone.”
Theo laughed. “Leave us alone? Stop bullying us or we’ll tell? If he thinks we killed that man, and we already decided he probably knows I’m going to be in the NFL, he’ll want money, or threaten to drop a dime on us.”
“What choice do we have? Should we kill him too?”
“Maybe Gary will do me a favor and shoot him.”
She huffed. “Not funny. So unless you have a better idea, that’s what we’re going to do.”
“Alright. Let’s do it. I’m leaving i
n the morning, so it has to be today.”
“I haven’t discussed it with Gary yet, but I’m sure we can do it after we shut down for the day.”
“Alright. Do you want me to come back at six-thirty then?”
“Yeah, that’ll be fine.”
She sat there thinking back to her conversation with Gary, recalling what he had said about decomposition, debating whether it was worth mentioning to Theo. Theo was leaning forward, elbows on the desk, and took her right hand in both of his, squeezed it. She didn’t seem to notice. He rubbed it between his hands, brought it to his mouth and kissed it. Carmen’s vacant eyes now focused on him, and she stretched a wry grin. “What are you doing?” she said.
“Nothing, why do you ask?”
“To borrow your phrase, you’re sending me mixed emotions. Kissing my hand…”
“There are no mixed emotions, at least there shouldn’t be. I like you. I don’t pretend not to, like you do to me.”
“Well knock it off. You can hold my hand if you like.”
“Do you like it?”
“Of course.”
“But you don’t like me kissing it?”
She bit the corner of her lip, and Theo knew she did like it. “That’s not the point,” she said.
“It is the point. I won’t stop something that you enjoy. And our kiss last night, if you liked it half as much as I did, I don’t see a reason why I shouldn’t kiss you right now.”
“The reason is named Matthew.”
“So you won’t kiss me?”
“No.”
“Okay, fair enough.” Theo didn’t want to let it go. He craved her, and that she wouldn’t allow him to kiss her made it worse. “That’s just fine and dandy.”
“Good.” She was watching him carefully, intrigued. The gears were turning inside his head, she knew it.
“Do you think you could act, if the opportunity arose? Like in a film, or a commercial?”
“Who couldn’t? It’s easy.”
“What makes it easy? You’re pretending to be someone else. A representation of a real person.”
“Where are you going with this?”
“My agent is working on getting me some commercials. Maybe Subway.”
“How about for erectile dysfunction?” She laughed heartily.
“Very funny, toots. A bonafide riot.” He considered it. “Okay, okay, let’s go there. Erectile dysfunction commercial. I am acting as a man who can’t get an erection without the medicine the commercial is advertising.”
“Probably doesn’t take much acting, does it, Theo?” She laughed again. “I’m sorry, that’s rude of me to say. But I can’t help it, it’s a funny thought.”
“Yes, you’re a comedian,” he said dryly and stood up. “Get up. Come here.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
She got out of her chair, rounded the desk, and stood mid-room before Theo.
“The camera man is standing right there.” He pointed to a tall fake plant in the corner of the room. “The director is beside it, giving orders to the lighting crew. Another man is beside him holding the boom over our heads, with a microphone at the end. I have my lines memorized. Fortunately for you, there are no lines on your end.”
“You’re crazy, do you know that?”
“I said you have no lines, hush up. The film is rolling and it isn’t cheap to dally around, to have multiple retakes.”
She giggled. Theo stood at her side, limply rested his hand around her waist, faced the fake plastic tree. “Georgette and I used to lie awake for hours, ruing my medical condition…”
She giggled again, repeated, “Ruing my medical condition.”
“Cut!” Theo cried and glowered at her. “Time is money, my pumpkin, don’t mess this up. There are other actors who would love to take your place.”
“Theo, you are insane. Insane, I tells ya.”
“Nobody asked you. Okay, take two… roll film!” He coughed into his hand. “Georgette and I used to lie awake in bed for hours, ruing my medical condition. To be so in love and unable to express that love physically. I saw my doctor and he recommended Viagra. Now we lie awake in bed for hours, but do so smiling and panting.”
Carmen covered her mouth and giggled silently into it.
“I recommend it to everyone sharing my condition. As does my wife, right Georgette?”
“Oh, for sure,” she said to the invisible camera. “I was getting ready to dump his ass, kick him to the curb. Mama needs her fix, and she wasn’t getting it. Thanks to Viagra, I’m marginally satisfied now.” She looked up and met Theo’s smiling eyes.
“Thank you, Viagra,” Theo said. With his lips closed he spoke softly through them, “Now you thank Viagra too, and the husband and wife kiss.”
“Thank you, Viagra. Thank you for saving our marriage. I’ll be waiting for an improved formula, one that makes weenies not just harder but bigger.”
Theo was struggling to keep from laughing. He turned his head and leaned in to kiss her. Tentatively she accepted the kiss, a short dry kiss on the lips. Once ended, Theo cried, “Cut! Retake.”
“Retake? I thought it was a pretty good take.”
“Again, without the small-penis quip. We’ll take it from the end, the editor can splice the beginning in. You were great at the beginning, then sort of fell apart there at the end. And your kiss wasn’t very believable. I’m worried we might have to get another actress, one who can remember her lines and kiss with enough believability that the target audience will believe it and buy the medicine.”
“Whatever, I can out-act you. You said I had no lines, and now that I created some you’re just jealous. You may be good at throwing a piece of pig skin around, but I’ll kick your butt at everything else.”
“Prove me wrong.” He faced the plastic tree, put his arm around her waist. “Thank you, Viagra. Thank you for salvaging my ruined marriage.” He gazed down adoringly at Carmen, who did much the same.
Looking into his eyes, she said, “Thank you, Viagra,” and they kissed.
The director didn’t stop the take. The kiss continued, and grew more greedy on both ends. They turned into each other, pressed against one another, her arms pinned between them, hands on his chest. His hand went around her neck, under her long golden mane, fingers raking up to the back of her head, gliding through silky soft hair. Her hands began moving on his chest, exploring, touching inquisitively. She brought one hand down to the hem of his shirt and went under, touched his warm tight skin, appreciating the ripple of stomach muscles, up to the swell of his chest, and squeezed. Theo heard her moan, sending him into a new level of hunger for her. With his free hand he went under the back of her shirt, gliding his hand up her delicate skin to the impediment of her bra, wedged his fingers under the strap and ran them back and forth. Then dashed down to her pants, smoothed the fabric over her ass before finally settling at her side, thumbs hooked inside her pants against her skin.
Theo was dizzy with euphoria. His senses were coming back to him, awareness that perhaps they were taking this too far, especially being that they were at her workplace. He pulled away from her lips, which prompted Carmen to open her eyes. They were narrow, needy eyes, and displeased with his audacity. At once she lunged forward to regain his lips, closed her eyes and fed on his mouth as the combined bodies stumbled backwards into the desk, stopping their momentum. Her hips were pushing firmly against his, and she felt the handgun tucked inside his belt. Her sense was hindered by desire, sensibility constrained to their deed, and thus wasn’t cognizant of the handgun being in her desk when she reached down between their hips to touch it. It yielded in her hand, only slightly, but enough to know it was not iron, and her senses were restored at once; she let go of her handful of denim and flesh and found a new home for the hand at his cheek.
“Well-well,” Doctor Gerhart said impressively from the door. “Don’t mind me!”
The two scrambled back to proper, well-behaved young adults, wide-eyed a
nd overtly abashed at what they were caught doing.
“I’m so sorry, Gary,” she said and put a hand on her cheek, shook her head.
“Nah,” he drawled, dismissed the deed with a wave of the hand. “Kids will be kids.” He was looking at Theo admiringly. “Nice to see you again, Mister Graham.”
“Yes.” He was discombobulated, patches of red on his face where Carmen’s face and hands had been oppressing.
The phone bleated. Carmen welcomed the distraction and rounded the desk, sat and answered the phone: “Doctor Gerhart’s office.” She flashed between Theo and Gary’s faces. She slouched, eyes closed. “Hi, Matthew.”
“Uh oh,” Gary said with merriment glowing on his face. “Better a phone call than an unannounced visit, huh?”
“Yes,” Theo said, and took one of two seats before the desk.
The doctor turned the other chair to face him directly and sat down.
“Yeah, that will be fine,” Carmen said to the phone. “Back in time for church?”
The doctor maintained his stupid grin at Theo. “She’s a great gal, Georgette. You like her, huh?”
Theo wasn’t sure if Carmen was listening to them or not. She appeared to be attentive to her conversation with Matthew. “I do. I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“No need to be sorry. I was just telling Georgette that you two would make a great couple.”
Carmen covered the speaker of the phone and said, “Gary, please...”
Gary winced at her before returning to Theo. “Did she tell you about my suggestion?”
“The man in the tent? Yes.”
“What do you think?”
“I think it’s awfully kind of you to volunteer in the matter.”