“August Harlow, have you become addicted to me?” I laughed as he nodded without an ounce of shame. “Well, that can’t be good for you.”
“But it is good for me.” He pulled me along with him to place me on his lap after he’d taken a seat on the sofa. “You see, you’re very good for me, and I just want you around all the time. I know you’ll have to go to work soon, and then I’ll have to give you up during the daytime hours. Then what will I get?”
To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about it. What would he get? What would I get?
I needed my time with August just as much as he needed his time with me. But there was one thing that stopped me from wanting to change our routine—Calum.
The hard thing about keeping a secret is knowing when the right time might be to confess. At first, I didn’t want to burden August with anything. And then, after witnessing his PTSD episode, I knew he wasn’t up for any surprises just yet. But when would he be ready?
Living with PTSD was no easy thing for any veteran, and when you added in the fact that he’d accidentally killed a fellow marine and one of his good friends…well, you had a recipe for disaster.
And then there was the fact that August was now a billionaire. To some women that would be the best news ever. To me, it wasn’t.
Although he and I came from similar backgrounds, he’d become phenomenally wealthy. Wealth like his came with a lot of responsibilities and problems that I was unfamiliar with. Like living in the public eye or needing to have bodyguards for protection on occasion, not to mention the women who threw themselves at wealthy men.
If I told him my secret, which I’d kept from every person in my life, then things would change drastically. And maybe not all for the better. August, and my parents too, would probably see me as a liar.
I didn’t want that.
Sure, with time they’d likely forgive me, but how could they not have a little niggling feeling inside of them, knowing that I’d kept the truth from them for years? Especially when it was about something as important as the identity of my son’s father.
No, I couldn’t do it. Not yet.
“So, what would you suggest we do, August?” I asked him as I ran my hands through his silky dark hair.
“Why don’t you two move in with me?” His eyes danced and glittered as he smiled at me.
Now, I knew most women would fall all over themselves over such a request. But again, I wasn’t most women. So, when my answer came out, the frown I got wasn’t unexpected. “No.”
One solid huff forced a burst of air out of him as he stared at me with a questioning expression. “Well, you won’t let me stay the night here with you. You’ve said it’s too small, and Calum would hear everything. I think my idea is great, if you ask me.”
“Look, Calum is a large part of why I can’t move in with you. He gets up almost every night and climbs into bed with me. That would be a problem if you and I slept together each night.”
With a roll of his eyes, his reply was blunt, “You’re grasping at straws, Tawny.”
“I am not,” I said as I got off his lap. “I’m getting a cup of coffee. You want one?”
He nodded and followed me to the kitchen. What I really needed was a glass of wine to soothe my nerves, which had grown jagged.
“I don’t see why he can’t learn not to get out of his bed at night, is all I’m saying. Maybe Leila can give you some tips on that. That shouldn’t be something that keeps us apart, Tawny, surely you can see that.” Coming up behind me, August ran his arms around my waist, leaning his chin on top of my shoulder.
Turning in his arms, I wrapped my arms around him and told him a bit more of the truth. “Another reason is for our safety and privacy. I know you live in a high-profile neighborhood—not to mention that your lifestyle must be wildly different from what we’re used to. If we were to move in with you, I think we’d need to be protected—by a bodyguard or security, at least. I get that you don’t need anyone to protect you, but your philanthropy and the opening of your club are turning you into a household name in this city. People will be curious about us, and Calum and I would have to have protection. I don’t think I’d like living that way.”
Sadness filtered into his hazel eyes. “Baby, what are you saying? Are you telling me that we can’t ever move forward? Are you saying this is all we’ll ever have?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying, August. This has all happened very quickly, and I’m just a little confused.” I kissed him. “The only thing I’m not confused about is the fact that I love you. But everything else needs a little sorting out still.”
His chest swelled with a deep sigh. He was not a happy man at that moment. But I knew I could take his mind off things, at least for a little while.
Running my hands down his arms, I took his hands. “Let’s skip the coffee and go to bed.”
“No,” his word came out sternly. His eyes moved up to meet mine. “If this is all we can ever have… I don’t think I can take that.”
“August, we haven’t even been seeing each other that long,” I argued.
“We’ve known each other forever, Tawny. I want to share my life with you. So what if I have to hire a couple of bodyguards to watch over you and Calum when I can’t? I don’t care about that. Shit, more than half the kids in Los Angeles have them, and most of the wives and girlfriends do, too.” The pad of his thumb ran over my lower lip as he looked at me with adoring eyes.
How could I say no to him when he looked at me that way? His hold on me had my body vibrating with more than just lust—love shook me, and I wanted so badly to make him happy.
But I just couldn’t move in with him—not with my secret still hanging between us.
It wouldn’t be right.
My cell rang. It was in the living room, so August let me out of his embrace, and I went to answer it. “It’s Calum’s school,” I told August, who loomed just behind me. “Hello.”
“Miss Matthews?” a woman asked me.
“Yes, this is she.”
“You were aware of the field trip your son’s class took today, right?” she asked me, her tone tense.
Chills ran through me, my gut telling me something was wrong. “Yes, the trip to Big Bear. I packed him a special lunch for it. Is everything okay?”
“Um, have you watched any news today, Miss Matthews?”
August’s arms encircled me, as I must’ve begun looking a bit pale. “I haven’t watched any news. Please just tell me what’s going on.”
August let go of me to grab the television remote, and he turned it on, changing the channel to one of the local stations.
And there it was. A yellow school bus, along with some other cars, trapped between two lines of wildfire.
I collapsed onto the sofa as the lady finally filled me in, “There are fifteen people in total on the bus with your son—three adults and twelve children. Evacuations are underway, but with the fires moving and the winds picking up…well, it’s a very dangerous situation.”
August took the phone from my hand, as I couldn’t find the strength to say a word or move a muscle. He spoke to the woman on the other end, “We’ll handle it, thank you.”
Putting my phone down, he picked his up and made a call—to whom, I hadn’t a clue. All I knew was that my little boy was in danger. Horrible danger. “August, what if he’s burned alive?”
“Hush, don’t think like that, baby.” He came to sit next to me. I heard a man answer his call and he put it on speakerphone. “Gannon, I need your help,” he said, all business. “There’s a school bus full of little kids—one of them is especially important to me—they’re trapped up in Big Bear by some wildfires. I need some choppers up there to help evacuate them, and my boy is the first to be helped, you got me?”
“I’ve got you. I’ll call my pilot and set things up. Meet us at the Beverly Center Heliport.”
“Got it,” August hung up without as much as a goodbye. “Come on, baby. Let’s go bring Calum hom
e.” He pulled me up with him, and I followed.
My body and mind were numb with shock.
But August had a plan, and that was more than I had.
Chapter Fifteen
August
The thick smoke filling the sky made it impossible to see the ground below us for a few tension-filled moments. I’d left Tawny at the heliport, as she’d demanded to be left behind so there’d be more room for evacuees in Gannon’s chopper.
His pilot and I headed out in the first one, with Gannon and another pilot taking off just after we did. My other partner, Nixon, headed out just after him. Three helicopters that could fit three more riders were on the way to save as many people as we could.
The conditions weren’t great. High winds caused by the blazing infernos made traveling through the air difficult. The birds swung from side to side as the winds pushed us, but the engines were strong and we all made forward progress.
One Coast Guard chopper flew past us as we neared our destination. It felt good to know that their large helicopter could carry a lot more people to safety. Maybe we could get all of them out, and no one would die or get hurt.
The yellow school bus shone through the smoke, and I pointed at it. The pilot looked for a good place to land and found one not too far away. The Coast Guard’s chopper had already landed, but they had to land further away due to the size of the craft.
My feet hit the ground running as fast as I could to reach Calum. The kids were being kept on the school bus, and I banged on the glass door to be let inside.
Only then did it occur to me that I had no legal right to take Calum anywhere, just as a lady who I assumed was his teacher stood up. “Unless you’re with the Coast Guard, we can’t let you take any child who isn’t yours, sir. I am truly sorry.”
Calum stood up, shouting, “August! You’re here!” He ran to me, throwing his arms around my legs, hugging me.
I picked him up and handed my cell to the teacher. I’d hit the button to call Tawny, putting it on speaker in case I could help with her argument. “Hello?” came her frightened voice.
“Um, this is Mrs. Copperfield, Calum’s…”
Tawny wasted no time. “Yes, I know. Let my son go with the man who came for him.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” the teacher replied grimly.
“Are you kidding me? You can, and you will,” Tawny informed her. “I also have Kyle’s and Jasper’s mothers right here, and they want their sons to go with August Harlow as well. He’ll take them all, with your permission or not, Mrs. Copperfield. We’ll deal with the school ourselves, no need for you to worry about your job.”
“I, uh…hell, I don’t know what to do,” the lady said with despair.
“Let us get these kids to safety. Between the three helicopters we brought, we have room for nine,” I told her before looking at Calum. “Where are your friends? Let’s get them and go.”
“Come on, guys!” Calum shouted, and two little boys jumped out of their seats, running to me.
Just as I left the bus with my prize in hand, one of the Coast Guard men came up to me. “How much room do you have, sir?”
“Mine is filled,” I told him. “Two more are behind me. There’s room for three in each one.”
“The children are small,” the man said. “I think you can get two in each seat. Would you try that?”
“Sure will. Grab me three more from the bus, and I’ll see if they fit.” I knew that with that man’s help, the teacher would get over her fear of being fired and let the kids go with us.
In no time at all, we had six kids loaded into our helicopter and were heading back to the heliport. Calum was all smiles as we flew through the smoke, even though the wind pitched us around a bit. The kid was fearless.
When we touched down, I helped them out one by one, and they all ran to their parents—the parents must’ve gotten the memo somehow that the kids would be arriving at the heliport. Calum jumped into his mother’s waiting arms as she cried with relief.
Letting them have a moment, I hung back, making sure each kid had found someone before joining Tawny and Calum.
Calum was talking a mile a minute, telling her about the fire and the helicopter ride and how I was like a hero, coming in and saving everyone.
Tawny looked at me over her son’s shoulder. “You are a hero, August. You always have been.”
What I’d just done was nothing compared to the things I’d done in the war. But I took the compliment. “Thanks, baby. You ready to head home?”
She nodded, still clinging to her son. “I am. I just want to get my baby boy home and hug him for a very long time.”
“I bet you do.” Wrapping my arm around her and Calum, I led them to the car as the second helicopter arrived, reuniting six more children with their relieved parents.
Although Tawny seemed to still be in a state of shock, Calum was anything but. He rattled on and on about the events, saying how he’d never forget any of it.
Tawny ran her fingers over my arm as tears fell from her pretty green eyes. “How are you, August? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about either of us, we’re good, baby. You look like you need a stiff drink and a hot bath though.” Turning the corner, I headed to my place. Tawny was in no condition to complain, and she needed some tender loving care.
She looked around, then at me. “Where are you going?”
“To my place,” I said with a grin.
“Yes!” Calum shouted. “Finally, we get to see your place!”
“No,” Tawny said. “Go to my apartment.”
“Baby, you need…”
I didn’t get to finish as she said, “No, August. Take us home. I want to go home.”
“Well, I’m already on the freeway, and I’ll have to find an exit, and that’ll take a while,” I tried to stall her.
“Momma, I wanna go to his place,” Calum demanded.
“No,” came her stern reply.
“Tawny, it would be quicker and better if we go to my house.” I took the next exit, turning around to go to her little apartment anyways, but hoping she’d change her mind. “I’ve got a jacuzzi tub where you can relax. And there’s an indoor pool where Calum can play too.”
“I don’t want to go there, August. Please,” she said, and then broke down, crying hard.
“Okay, baby. Okay, you don’t have to cry,” I tried to soothe her. “I’m taking you home, baby.”
My words should’ve eased her cries, but they didn’t. She went on and on, her face in her hands as her sobs continued. I supposed it was because it was the first time she’d come close to losing her son. Leila had been right, there were definitely some differences between a single mom and women who didn’t have children.
“Mamma, it’s okay. You don’t gotta cry,” Calum made his own attempt at soothing his mother.
“You don’t understand. Neither of you understands at all,” Tawny wailed.
“You’re right,” I admitted. “We don’t understand. But I’m taking you home the way you wanted. You can calm down now. I had no idea taking you to my place to pamper you would do this to you.” My response had come out sterner than I had intended, and I took a deep breath to calm myself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you—you don’t know how sorry I am.”
That only made her cries go an octave higher, and I had no idea why. Calum was out of danger, and we were getting closer to her home by the second, so I didn’t understand why she was carrying on the way she was.
She cried all the way to her place, and once we got inside, she went to her bedroom and closed the door behind her, shutting Calum and me out. I could still hear her crying, and every now and then she would shout something, but it was always a grief-stricken question like ‘how?’ and ‘why did I do this?’
Did she mean me? Why did she get involved with me?
Calum and I sat in the living room after I’d fetched us both bowls of ice cream. Finding a cartoon on TV that I cou
ld stomach, we sat and ate our snack, trying to ignore the sounds coming out of his mother’s bedroom.
“Man, I’m never goin’ on a field trip again,” Calum mumbled then took another bite.
“Don’t let one little disaster stop you from having fun, Calum. Life’s full of them, but we can’t stop living just because bad things happen. If we did, we’d never have fun at all. And I like to have fun.” Running my hand over his head, I nudged him with my shoulder. “And she’ll be okay. Moms, huh?”
“You’re tellin’ me,” Calum agreed, rolling his eyes and sighing, trying to act like an adult.
Lucky for me, Calum liked the same kinds of cartoons I did—having watched my six nieces and nephews grow up, I was no stranger to kids’ shows. Before I knew it, we’d talked over the whole last season of Ninja Buddies. Ninja Steve proved to be both of our favorite.
When an hour had passed, we finally heard silence coming from Tawny’s bedroom. “Maybe I should go check to make sure she’s okay,” I told Calum before getting up to go see if she’d passed out, or what had her being so quiet all of a sudden.
But just as I got up, the squeaking of the door stopped me, and I stood right where I was. Calum got on his knees on the sofa, peering at the hallway. “Momma?”
Her auburn waves were a mess. I could tell she’d been running her hands through it incessantly. Her red-rimmed eyes were smudged black with makeup underneath as they looked at me and then at Calum. Her mouth opened, but then snapped shut.
“Baby, are you okay?” I had to ask. I’d never seen anything close to this side of her before, and I didn’t know what to do for her.
Shaking her head slowly, her lips parted once more. “I’m not okay at all. I’ve done something that I wish I hadn’t.”
“What could possibly be so bad, Tawny?” having asked that, my mind went on a spree through ideas of what she might’ve done to make her look so guilty. Cheating on me was the only thing that sprang to my mind.
My gut twisted at the thought.
Her eyes darted from me to Calum and back again. “You’re both going to be mad at me.”
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