by Mae Nunn
LaVerne looked at Erin like she’d just said a dirty word. “You can’t just put these people back on the shelf like spare parts. They spent a lot of time putting their thoughts on paper for you. It would be disrespectful to ignore what they have to say.”
“If you feel that strongly, then why don’t you look through them for me, LaVerne?”
“Really?” Her brows lifted as she considered the offer. “You wouldn’t think it was an invasion of your privacy?”
“Of course not, you’d be doing me a favor. Besides, there’s nothing private about a communication from someone I don’t know.”
LaVerne stooped to grasp the box and with an “Ooof” of exertion, realized it was too bulky for her to manage.
“Well, thanks. These will be good company between my soaps for the next couple of weeks. Then we go back to the ranch, and the million-and-one details of the cook-off.”
“Hopefully by then I can manage on my own, or maybe Christina would be willing to stay here with me.”
“I’m not leaving you behind. You’re coming home with us.” The response was as matter-of-fact as it was unexpected. “I’ll put you to work just like I do everybody. Why, you can be our official photographer!”
“Is that a job offer or an invitation?” It sounded like a genuine reason to get comfortable with her new equipment.
“It’s whatever you want it to be, Erin. You’re part of our family for as long as it suits you. Family never needs an invitation at my place.”
Chills of skepticism gave Erin a shiver. “What do you think Daniel will have to say about that?”
“Say about what?” Daniel stood in the doorway, all six foot two of him looking every bit the Texas Ranger from the soles of his black cherry boots to the crown of his wheat-colored cowboy hat.
Chapter Seven
“I was just tellin’ Erin that she’ll be goin’ out to the Double-S with us for the festivities.”
Daniel removed his Stetson and held it at his waist poised above his silver buckle. He studied his hatband while he considered the awkward situation his mama had just created. The sudden racing of his heart told him it was either a dreadful idea or an answer to prayer.
“Yep,” LaVerne continued, “I told her we’d be puttin’ her to work, too. Everybody pulls their own weight on a ranch and even if she can only pull with one hand, every little bit helps.”
“That’s a fact,” he went along as if he hadn’t been caught off guard by the conversation. Looking to Erin, he explained. “I handle the stock to free up Jake so he can manage the fund-raiser. Dana’s my number one sidekick until the crowd shows for the judging and then we put her in a booth selling cotton candy and cold drinks.”
“You know what?” His mama held up her index finger as if she’d just had an epiphany. “If Erin can figure out how to use that fancy new camera, maybe this year instead of a shoe box full of snapshots we’ll have a professional album.”
“That’s a dandy idea, Mama.”
“Thank you, son. You think she’ll go for it?”
“Excuse me, you two,” Erin interrupted their mutual admiration society meeting. “I’m sitting right here.”
“So you are.” Daniel nodded. “And when I walked in you wanted to know what I had to say about something. What was it, again?”
Erin looked to LaVerne who shrugged. “Hey, answer the man. You just pointed out that you’re sittin’ right there and I’ve got laundry to do.”
As his mama passed through the double doors she turned back and pointed toward the carton of letters. “Would you mind puttin’ that box in my bedroom, please?”
“I’ll get it for you in a minute,” he agreed. When they were alone, Daniel took a chair near Erin. “What’s up?”
Her gaze fixed on the exposed fingertips of her right hand. She worked her ball of putty, carefully pressing with first one digit and then another, killing time.
“Something make you uncomfortable?” He waited until her lovely eyes finally met his.
“Your mother’s invitation was rather sudden and I wasn’t sure you approved of her extending it to me.”
He rested against the back of the chair as he pondered how to make the best of the circumstances. Might as well be honest. “I’ll admit this is news to me, but I can see where it could kill two birds with one stone. I can’t beg off the trip but I don’t want to leave you here alone, either. If you’ll agree to come to the ranch, that’ll give you and Dana more time together and we can all continue helping with your therapy.”
“But won’t it send the wrong message?” Erin asked.
“And what message would that be?”
“That I’m somehow to be welcomed with open arms when the fact is I bailed out on you and Dana years ago?”
“Well, here’s the deal. In that respect, you’ll be in good company because that’s basically the way my brother feels about me. Jake passes cheap shots off as jokes but his sentiments are not exactly covert. He interprets my choosing a career over ranching as forsakin’ the family. It doesn’t matter to him that Daddy supported my choice or that Mama will leave the ranch to Jake. He only sees it one way. His little brother let him down.”
A shadow of sadness crossed Erin’s face. “So you go back every year to pay your penance?”
“I wouldn’t call it that. It’s my home, too. I love workin’ with the animals and being with my daddy’s people. For a little while, anyway. By the end of the visit, I’m usually as eager as Dana to get back to Houston.” He smiled at the confession. “This is really where both of us fit in best.”
“Won’t my being out there make the situation more difficult?”
“It might create a little heat for me, but I’m up to it. And where Dana’s concerned, your presence might actually make it better. With you there she’ll finally have some braggin’ rights over her cousins.”
Erin lowered her eyes and shook her head, dismissing his comment.
“Oh, knock off the humble act, will ya, Erin?” The brittle edge to his voice took Daniel by surprise. From the way her jaw sagged, it had the same effect on Erin. But the muscles in his solar plexus were perpetually sore from holding his breath. From holding back bitter words that wanted to escape.
He passed a hand over his eyes, ran it the length of his face and rested it over his lips, too late to catch the biting comment.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “That was uncalled for.”
“But you said it, so it must be what you think.”
He stood, crossed the room to stand with his back to her and looked out at the patio he’d built for family meals that would probably never take place.
“Go ahead,” she insisted. “Get it off your chest.”
He turned, expecting a challenge in her eyes. Instead there was compassion, almost apology. She was willing to accept more verbal blows. After sixteen years of faithfulness, hadn’t he earned the right to deliver them?
“I couldn’t compete with you as a phantom, Erin. I sure can’t measure up to the real deal. You may not feel comfortable basking in the spotlight, but you are something of a celebrity. I would really appreciate it if you’d stop waving away your success like it doesn’t matter. Because if your accomplishments aren’t important, what does that say to Dana about mine?”
“Understood.” Erin knew the one-word response was enough.
She didn’t dare insult him with an argument. How could a man with the self-confidence to wear that famous star on his chest understand being inferior no matter what your reputation said about you? Yes, she was known for taking chances but there was no risk involved when you had nothing to lose. For some people it came naturally to accept accolades. For her it was like perpetuating a lie.
She had earned the brand of coward, but she strove not to be a liar, too.
And now, as she was slowly discovering, though Daniel had been the steadfast, loving parent while she’d fled all responsibility, he seemed to feel he had something to prove. Had this time togethe
r become a competition for Dana’s respect?
A parental smack down?
No way. Before Erin even got started, she knew the losing end would be hers. Even so, Daniel had allowed her into their home for a specific purpose. She resolved to take the energy she was giving to physical therapy and make the same effort with Dana. Erin would make up for lost time and pray the questioning eyes of her daughter never became the accusing eyes of her sister.
“Understood,” she repeated. “I’ll be more considerate.”
Daniel sunk back into a chair and nudged the carton with the toe of his boot.
“Why does Mama want this in her room?”
What now? If Erin admitted instructing LaVerne to pack away the letters it would fuel Daniel’s argument.
“I asked her to sort through them for me.” So much for trying not to lie, but she needed a quick cover-up.
“Seriously?” He leaned forward in his chair, his forehead creased with concern.
“I haven’t wanted to worry anybody, but my vision blurs occasionally. So, I told LaVerne it was fine with me if she read them.” Forgive me, Lord! I am such a jerk!
“Hey, I was wrong to spout off like that.” He sounded sincere. “You’re the one who’s had the props kicked out from under you and here I am whining a ‘What about me?’ tune that I wouldn’t abide in anybody else.”
“Don’t take it back, Daniel. You deserve to have your say and if there’s more on your mind, I wish you wouldn’t keep it to yourself.”
“There’s always plenty on my mind, but right now it’s mostly work-related.”
“Anything you can tell me about? I’m used to more excitement than the value of the big showcase on The Price is Right.”
His smile returned, warming her face. “Mama been spending too much time in here?”
“LaVerne’s great company. But I’ve been ducking M-16 fire for a few years now. I’m starving for some intense mental stimulation.”
His lips pressed together in concentration, as if he were considering how much to say. After a moment he seemed to relax. With his elbows propped on the armrests, Daniel laced long fingers across his chest.
“I guess there’s no harm in telling you about the case as long as you don’t share it with Mama or Dana.”
“That’s okay,” she declined. “I don’t want you to break any rules of confidentiality just to entertain an adrenaline junkie.”
“Oh, no. It’s nothing like that. It’s just I’ve always made it a practice to keep the risks of the job to myself so they won’t worry about me.”
“Daniel, you’re a Texas Ranger. Anybody who’s heard the name understands what kind of danger comes with that territory.”
“Still, I’d rather not bring the particulars home with me. So it’s just between us, deal?”
“Deal.”
Daniel detailed his team’s investigation into an organized effort by an international moving company to bring illegals across the Texas border. Mexican citizens forfeited their life savings only to be loaded and trapped like cargo without proper ventilation, water or food.
News of the human trafficking and the deadly outcome was known nationwide. Even so, the criminals had no problem filling truck after truck with people desperate to escape poverty for the hope of a better life.
“We’ve finally got an airtight link to three cases. It’s close to home and falls under my jurisdiction. With things heating up, I may have to leave at a moment’s notice.”
“I’m envious.” Her gaze fell to the bandages. Few remained wrapped tightly to her body compared to a week ago, and she was happy to be rid of the constant companionship of the IV pole. Still, there was no debating her limited capacity. “Yep, downright jealous that I’m not in a position for a ride-along.”
“You know, until this moment I never really thought about how much we have in common professionally.”
“Yeah,” she nodded, understanding. “We’re both strangely exhilarated around bad guys with automatic weapons. Of course, whereas you actually confront them, I’m able to keep mine confined to the space of a viewfinder.”
He cocked an eyebrow and looked her up and down before replying, “All evidence to the contrary.”
She dipped her chin and shook her head. “You get ambushed by one little truck bomb and they never let you hear the end of it.”
As they shared companionable laughter over the absurd truth of the statement, LaVerne appeared in the doorway.
“Pardon me for interrupting the party, but it’s been half an hour since you said you’d bring me that box.” She pointed to the carton full of letters.
Daniel hopped to his feet. “Sorry, Mama. I’ll do it right now.” He hoisted the container to his shoulder and headed for the main floor’s master suite.
“LaVerne,” Erin called. “Thank you for offering to preview the letters and sort them for me.” She gave the older woman an exaggerated wink.
“Preview and sort?” LaVerne’s farm-weathered face scrunched like a dried fig.
“Yes, by date or subject. Whichever you choose will be fine with me,” Erin insisted, with another staged wink and a jerk of her head toward Daniel’s back. “It’s really kind of you to do that so I don’t strain my eyes.”
“Eye strain.” She nodded. “Yeeeees, I see said the blind man.” The sharp old woman winked back, gave a thumbs-up, and then followed her son toward the hallway.
Erin noted the date on the wall calendar. It was Friday and she’d just been declared the most motivated client Christina had ever vorked vith. And now with five days of the brutal therapy behind her, Erin was feeling every inch a survivor. Stronger, more confident of reaching her recovery goal. In spite of Daniel’s and J.D.’s cautions, she was making steady progress and even Christina admitted that though very aggressive, the deadline was doable.
Knowing the days were numbered, Erin began to focus on maximizing her hours with Dana but limiting her time around Daniel. Surely centering her interest on the teen and steering clear of anything that might challenge Daniel would make him feel less threatened, especially as they prepared to head west.
So, in lieu of family dining, Erin invited Dana to share meals in the solarium, ostensibly to rest and conserve strength for each day’s workout. Nobody who was in the house during the sessions with Christina would question the logic that coincidentally created an atmosphere for girl talk, a language more foreign to Erin than Mandarin.
LaVerne grumbled about having dishes and crumbs strewn around the house. But she seemed otherwise happy to bustle about the solarium delivering, collecting and tidying up, undeterred when most of the conversations between Erin and Dana were on subjects beyond an old woman’s ken.
Erin laid aside her Nikon owner’s manual one evening when Dana expressed interest in a board game. The teen made a noisy fuss, chanting a challenge to her dad as she climbed the stairs to get the Scrabble box. Erin’s face burned with guilt when Dana dragged a card table and three folding chairs into the room, determined her dad would not be excluded. Even as she concentrated on observing the rules, Erin struggled not to laugh at the silly comments Daniel used to distract his opponents or soften the blow of a high scoring win. Though he continually poked at Erin’s serious demeanor, the simple fun got under her skin, at least for the one night.
Mornings and afternoons, Daniel knocked and poked his head through the crack in the two doors to see if she needed anything. Each visit she mustered up a bright smile and a “No, but thanks” response, hoping he wouldn’t be suspicious that she wasn’t asking for his help in moving from one position to the next. Erin wasn’t about to display the mobility she’d regained over the hard hours of work. Her progress was a winning hand to be held close to the vest. As long as nobody suspected her game, there would be no pressure on Erin to show her cards.
There was another reason, a more important reason, that Erin was determined to hold something back. As she practiced skin and dental care left-handed before the mirror one morning, th
e truth of it shocked her to the core. In the cozy bathroom that had become her private space, she was feeling…at ease. And on the family porch where Dana joined Erin to watch the summer sun fade, she recognized there was a sense of belonging. Even with her efforts to keep a distance, the place and the people had become far too friendly and homey. But like a family scene in a Rockwell painting, those emotions were as weak as watercolor and would dissolve just as easily.
Erin prayed for the strength to avoid the comfortable distractions. Prayed to God that she’d stay the course, work her plan. And that she could hurry back to the uncomplicated life she’d crafted from the wreckage of her childhood without leaving a legacy of damage to her own child.
And she was on track until she made the mistake of showing Daniel her private portfolio.
Chapter Eight
“Is there a particular reason you’ve been avoiding me all week?”
Erin lowered the old copy of Time magazine to find Daniel inside the doorway. Her breathing stilled as she took in how handsome he was in a simple white T-shirt, worn jeans and stocking feet. In this casual state, he was the young man who’d stolen her heart in the library the night they’d met.
It had been as difficult to leave the circle of his arms as to leave behind her tiny baby girl. But as the infant had howled constantly in a language without translation, Erin had recognized the familiar hammering of her heart and pounding in her head. They were the same physical reactions she’d experienced during her father’s fits of violence. She was too old to hide anymore. She had to run.
She swallowed past the guilt that was a constant dryness in her throat. There was no point bothering with a smoke screen answer to Daniel’s question. Besides, he deserved better.
“We were acting too much like a cozy little family,” she admitted.
“Was that so bad?” Daniel made himself comfortable on the foot of the rented bed a few feet from where Erin reclined on the rattan chaise. He spotted minor changes in the room, the juxtaposition of small items that Erin herself had likely moved. She hadn’t asked for his help in days, clearly managing on her own.