Townsend came over to stand behind her, then her hands settled onto Hennessy’s shoulders. “Come join us for dinner. Nicole wants to see how someone properly grills a fish.”
“Townsend’s got great skills in the kitchen,” Nicole said, moving over to drape an arm over her shoulders, “but her grilling is a work in progress.”
“I only ruined three meals. And given how little you like chicken, you were probably glad.”
“I wasn’t unhappy,” Nicole agreed. “But I do enjoy fish, and I hate to have one give its life only to be burned to a crisp.”
“Will you bail us out?” Townsend’s hands compressed against her shoulders.
“I’d be delighted. But I can’t guess how we’re all going to fit into your little car.”
“I haven’t been running all week,” Townsend said. “You two stop at the store and I’ll probably beat you.”
“I’ve got to get a bike,” Hennessy said, for the twentieth time that year. Even though she threatened often, she probably wouldn’t buy one. She was as tight as the strings on a fiddle.
They were able to sit on the porch to eat, with the infrared heater really having to bring it. After living in Boston for so long, Hennessy was sure every day in South Carolina was going to feel like summer, but that hadn’t been so. Her true nature returned, and now she was chilly unless it was over sixty-five. She’d become a Southerner again—and she didn’t have a single complaint.
They’d made a teriyaki sauce for the salmon, which she had to admit she’d cooked to perfection. Townsend was making a point about something when she unconsciously reached over and removed a dot of sauce from the side of Hennessy’s mouth with her finger, never missing a word.
But Nicole saw the exchange, and her fork stopped midway to her mouth.
Shit.
Townsend was going to screw this up. Your new girlfriend was never going to like having you treat an old flame like you were current flames. Goddamn it! They couldn’t keep being so familiar with one another, but how in the hell did they stop?
On Sunday morning, Townsend skipped down the stairs from the second floor, stopping in her tracks when she saw Nicole, standing by a window, holding a framed photo. A wave of dread hit her. Nearly all of her framed pieces included Hennessy, and given the look on Nicole’s face, that was the person who troubled her.
Townsend stood next to her, seeing the photo was one from their first summer at camp together, both of them so stunningly young and callow. All of the girls from Sandpiper stood close, arms linked around one another, with Hennessy behind them, her face squeezed between Townsend’s and Hailey’s, everyone as happy as clams.
Without preamble, Nicole said, “What does she mean to you?”
Damn, that was a tough question, with as many layers as an onion to muddle through for a valid answer. “That’s a silly question,” she said, trying to slough it off. “We’ve been friends for ten years. We’re…like family.”
“Family?” Nicole put the photo down and picked up another, much more recent: their first day at camp, in May. They’d gone down to the beach at lunch to wade in the water for a few minutes. The sun was at the perfect angle, lighting their faces to a golden hue. Who wouldn’t have framed a photo that made both of them look so good?
But Nicole wasn’t looking at the composition. She was looking at the happiness that burst from the image. That was something Townsend couldn’t—didn’t want to—hide.
Nicole’s voice was quiet and a little wistful when she said, “When she walks into a room, she searches for you. The second her eyes land, she smiles, like she can’t help herself. My mother loves me an awful lot, but her face doesn’t light up every time she sees me.”
“She’s not my mother,” Townsend said, moving away. She didn’t want to look at photos of Hennessy right now. No good could come of that.
“I know that,” Nicole said quietly. “It would probably annoy you if your mother was as tied to you as Hennessy is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Am I supposed to give up my close friends to be in a relationship with you?”
“I’m not asking you to give up a friendship.” She moved closer, her dark eyes boring into Townsend. “I’m questioning what kind of friends hug and kiss each other when they’ve been apart for less than an hour. When you ran home the other night, Hennessy immediately went to you and hugged you like it had been weeks since you’d been together—but it had been twenty minutes, Townsend. It was unconscious. I could see that.” Her expression grew darker. “That makes it worse.”
“We’re both very tactile!” It was hard to convince even herself of that excuse, but Nicole was such a good catch. Letting her get away was madness.
Nicole looked like she knew she was on the losing side of a war. Her eyes bore a heavy measure of sadness when she said, “When Hennessy left on Friday night, she closed her eyes and squeezed you like a stuffed animal. Like she was putting you on a plane for a very long trip.”
“Well, she was going to be gone the whole…weekend.” She swallowed, angry with herself for putting up such a ridiculous defense.
“Two days, Townsend,” she said, holding up two fingers and waving them in front of her face. “And she acted like you were shipping out for six months at sea.”
Instinctively, Townsend found herself defending their dynamic. “You can’t judge relationships from an outsider’s view. You just can’t. It’s not fair to watch us like we’re under a microscope. I don’t do that to you.”
“There’s no one in my life I treat like you treat Hennessy,” she said, her voice rising. Then she stopped like she’d been struck. “Not true. That’s exactly how I feel when I leave Abigail. I hate to let her go, and by the time I’m two feet away I’m planning on when I’ll see her again.”
Abigail was Nicole’s two year old niece, the apple of her eye.
“I’d give anything to have given birth to that child. If I could, I’d move to Yarmouth so I could see her every day. She means the world to me, Townsend.” She got closer and leaned in so their faces nearly touched. “The world.”
Townsend swallowed around the knot in her throat. There was no way out of this. Nicole wasn’t buying the bullshit she was trying to sell.
Staring into her eyes, Nicole kept going. Kept piling on. “Things are great when it’s just the two of us. But when Hennessy’s here…” She thought for a minute, her eyes fluttering closed. “She’s your sun. You’re the earth. And I’m a moon circling around in the cold.”
“That’s not true at all. I’m really into you, Nicole. It’s just that I’ve known Hennessy for so much longer. Maybe we’ve developed little habits, intimacies, but they’re harmless.”
“I don’t believe they are, Townsend. I don’t believe that for a minute.”
“It’s true.” She put her hands on her waist, holding her firmly. “Hennessy’s as good as married. We’ve never—not once—kissed each other since we broke up. That’s been seven or eight years! And it’s not like we haven’t had opportunities. We were down here alone from May until January, and never, ever touched each other. Neither one of us would ever cheat on a partner.”
Nicole shrugged out of her hold and started for the kitchen. “I’m making some tea. Do you want some?”
“God, yes,” Townsend sighed. She followed her into the room, watching her fill the electric kettle and flip the switch.
Nicole leaned against the counter, crossed her arms over her chest and regarded Townsend for a minute. “Here’s what I think.”
Townsend flinched, knowing this was going to be bad.
“You’re a dry drunk where Hennessy’s concerned. You might not drink, but you sure do want to.”
“Oh, no,” she snapped. “That’s so not fair! You can’t know what’s in my head.”
“Maybe I can’t. But I won’t get into a situation where I’m always wondering if Hennessy is gaining on me. I’ve got too much to lose to give everything up only to find I’m always competing wi
th her.”
Townsend went to her and wrapped her in her arms. They’d been so close the night before. So intimate. Where had that closeness gone? “You won’t be competing with her. Now that I know these things bother you, I’ll be more careful. I’ll try to look at how things might seem to an outsider.”
Nicole lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. Her expression wasn’t hard, but it was definitely cool. “An outsider. That’s how I feel.”
“Don’t give up,” Townsend pled. “I’ll come to Boston for the summer. We’ll live together. Hennessy won’t be around and we can get a firm footing. Then, next fall, you’ll understand who’s number one in my heart.” She was looking into Nicole’s warm eyes like she was begging for a pardon. Thankfully, Nicole had a very generous heart.
“Okay. We’ll give it a longer try. If we spend the summer together and are certain about each other—I’ll come back with you.” Holding Townsend’s chin in her fingers, she added the hard part. “I’ve got to believe your love for Hennessy’s in the past. And that you wouldn’t rekindle it—even if you could.”
After taking Nicole to Charleston airport, Townsend drove by camp, hoping Hennessy was back. The lights in her cabin were on, and Townsend knocked on the door.
Hennessy opened it, leaned over and offered a big hug, along with a kiss on the cheek. That was going to have to stop. Townsend shivered, thinking about not being allowed to unconsciously touch her. To have someone supervising their interactions.
“Hey,” she said, knowing her voice didn’t carry a bit of enthusiasm.
“Hi there. Sad?” she asked gently.
“Yeah, I’m sad. Want to go for a walk on the beach?”
Hennessy acted like she was shivering, but she went and grabbed a jacket. “I can brave it—even though it’s near freezing.”
“My car said it’s forty-five. So you’d better get some gloves…and a hat…and some long underwear.”
“Funny,” Hennessy said, pulling her gloves from the pockets of her winter jacket and waving them in front of Townsend. They started off, walking toward the water in companionable silence. That was when you knew you were deeply connected to another person—when you could spend long hours not talking at all and never feeling uncomfortable. Hennessy made her feel at peace, with herself and the world.
Could Nicole ever do that?
How could you know until it happened?
By the time they’d reached the water, Townsend had her thoughts in order. “Is there any way you could leave space for Nicole on the schedule, but not rely on her?”
“Hmm.” Hennessy didn’t comment for a while. They kept walking, not a sign of life out on this cool, dry night. Every bird was tucked up in a safe place, not a fish poked a head out. Even the humans had retired for the night. It was just the two of them, and their thoughts. “I suppose I could cover for her.” She put her arm around Townsend’s shoulders and squeezed. “But I can’t guarantee I’ll be here either.”
Townsend swallowed around the lump in her throat, unable to even consider that possibility. “What can we do?”
“I’m not sure. I was planning on leaving myself off the schedule, then subbing for people who cancel or are ill. I have…” She was quiet for a few moments. “I have a list of people who could step in, but they’re untested commodities. I was going to have a few of them come and do a single day seminar, to see how they fare. If neither Nicole nor I are here, you could always work your way down that list.”
“I…” She had to bite her lip almost to bleeding to stop from sobbing. “I can’t imagine doing this job without you.”
Hennessy stopped, then put her arms around Townsend and held onto her like a life ring. “You know how much I love this job,” she said, her voice quavering. “But I can’t guarantee I can stay.”
“I know,” Townsend murmured, nuzzling her face into Hennessy’s shoulder. “You can’t risk your relationship for it. No job’s worth that.”
Hennessy’s body went stock still for a few seconds, then she squeezed hard and let go. “Right,” she agreed, then began to walk again, her arm around Townsend’s shoulders. “So Nicole’s not sure about moving here?”
“Yeah. She’s not sure.” Townsend could have said so much more, but Hennessy didn’t need to hear Nicole’s fears. They’d just make things tough if Nicole returned. “I’m going to Boston for the summer. If we really connect, she’ll move. If not—alone again.”
“You’ll never be alone,” Hennessy promised, her warm breath taking the chill from Townsend’s ear. “You’ll always have me.”
That was so not true. If anything, having Hennessy in her life might prevent Townsend from ever finding love. No perceptive woman would fail to notice how close they were. And no sane woman would wade into a relationship that already had two people in it.
Townsend was fucked.
She could keep Hennessy as close as they were now—or cut the cord. It was a dreadful choice. The best thing for both of them would be for Kate to take her far, far away. But her world would never be whole without Hennessy. She was sure of that now.
They continued to walk, with a sliver of a moon laying a narrow stripe of white light onto the inky black water. They’d been better off when they’d been entirely out of each other’s lives. But she wouldn’t give up what they had now for anything. They were truly between a rock and a hard place, and she didn’t have the slightest idea of how to extract herself without suffering mortal damage.
Chapter Thirty-Five
The last camper was gone. The cabins were all vacant, save for Hennessy’s, which was mostly empty now. She hadn’t had much to start, and she’d taken the few things she owned back to Beaufort over the past couple of weeks.
She still didn’t know what she was going to do next year, but she’d gotten the entire calendar nailed down tight—with instructors for every slot—save Nicole’s. That one was going to be determined at some point in the summer.
Townsend had been working on finances all morning, with things pretty well squared away. Her MFA was so dusty it wasn’t funny. What she really should have gotten was an MBA or a CPA. But she was knowledgeable enough to be able to do some totals that reassured her their accountant would not faint.
They’d come out in the black. Not jet black, but easily in good enough shape to launch another year. Given she was sure they’d be more successful each year, she didn’t have a single worry about the program, unless she had to scramble to hire a new program director.
Hennessy was such a remarkably diligent professional that she’d given Townsend a list of six people, all of whom she swore could do the job in her stead, if need be. One of them, her old prof from Harvard, would be ideal. Even though she was a great teacher, Hennessy was sure she’d be an equally great director, able to call on contacts made over thirty years of teaching, and she’d made it quite clear she wouldn’t miss Boston if she were offered a job in a warmer climate.
So things were good.
Pretty good.
Goodish.
Townsend was going to leave at the end of the week, already beginning to pack for Boston. Then she and Nicole would see if they had what it took to make a go of it.
She had a brief fantasy of marrying Nicole, maybe at her mom’s house on the Vineyard, but she couldn’t conjure up an image of Nicole to fill the proper spot. Hennessy was right there, of course. Her pretty face was always accessible. But that didn’t do Townsend a damn bit of good. She belonged to Kate.
The front door opened and she caught a glimpse of blonde hair, then Kate stood in front of her. They’d never met, but she’d seen dozens of pictures of her. Dr. Brill was here—in the flesh.
“Hi,” Townsend said, almost falling over when one of the wheels of her chair rolled over her foot as she tried to stand. She slapped her hands onto the desk, steadying herself. “We finally meet.”
“Townsend?” Kate looked surprised, like she had no idea what she looked like. Then it dawned on her. She probably didn’
t. Hennessy wasn’t dumb enough to leave photos of her all over the apartment.
She extended her hand, and Kate shook it. “It’s hard to believe it’s taken us this long,” Townsend said.
She had no idea why she was so jumpy, but she honestly felt like a little kid trying to impress a much older, much cooler kid. As if she was a seventh grader and Kate was a senior in high school. Everything about her seemed cool. Even her pale blue eyes sent off a slight chill. But it was her affect that was most striking. She oozed calm, cool, certainty—probably about everything. A dimwit could see the intelligence in her eyes, tagging her as the kind of person who’d make a sharp, quick assessment of a situation. Who’d make firm, unhesitating decisions, and not regret a single one. How could Hennessy relax with someone who seemed so—evolved? Hennessy was as goofy as the day was long, or was that her line? Either way, she was playful and light, unlike Kate, who seemed like someone who’d breeze into your hospital room and deliver bad news, then declare she’d open you right up and have you on your feet in no time. And you’d believe her.
“It is surprising, isn’t it?” Her gaze flew around the office, probably trying to find some sign of Hennessy’s presence. She must have seen something… Ahh. A photo of her and Hennessy on the desk. She walked around and sat in her chair.
For no good reason, that seemed a little pushy to Townsend, and she was tempted to tell her to keep her butt off Hennessy’s stuff. But that was crazy! The woman was just taking a seat, for God’s sake.
Kate’s admittedly lovely face revealed a muted smile. Maybe she was nervous, too. “Is Hennessy around?”
“Oh!” God she was an idiot! “There was some problem with the bus she takes. Since we’re just cleaning things up, she was going to come in this morning, instead of last night, but she texted me a while ago to say she was still wandering around the Walmart, waiting.”
The Right Time Page 52