by G. K. DeRosa
“Got it.” I chewed on my lower lip as we walked in silence for a few more beats. “Hunter—”
He raised his hand, cutting me off, and then his eyes actually met mine. “Later. We’ll talk about everything later. Right now, you have to focus. Your life depends on it.”
I dipped my head before turning away and darting toward ring four. A swirl of anger and sadness filled my chest, and I couldn’t risk a tear slipping free. Not today. Not in front of all the Lunar males and the entire population of Moon Valley. Gods, I was a terrible alpha.
I marched up to the raised ring and steeled my nerves as Zuriel watched me. The Celestial had always been nice, flirty even. I wondered if he’d bonded with a mate yet. Casually scanning his finger, I searched for the mate tattoo but found nothing.
“Are you ready, little she-wolf?”
“Of course.” I infused steel into my tone and hoped it projected more confidence than I felt.
The wolf-angel towered over me, blonde locks spilling across his broad shoulders. “Now, I don’t wish to hurt you, Sierra. Do yourself a favor and yield, all right? We can put on a little show for the audience, but in the end we all know there can only be one winner.”
“And that will be me.” I threw him a wink and a big smile.
“I admire your confidence, but your mate will not be able to save you today.”
My wolf bristled, and a growl erupted from my chest. “I can do just fine without him. Don’t you worry, Zuriel,” I snarled.
“Very well. Don’t say I didn’t offer you an out.” His gleaming angel sword blinked to life in his palm, and azure flames flickered across the lethal blade.
Gods, that was going to hurt.
I tossed the useless thought aside as the attendant motioned for us to enter the circular platform. The man in white held the rope for me to duck through with a gloved hand, and my gaze landed on the prickly barbs. Fan-freakin-tastic.
I paced the ring as the countdown clocks were set, and the hair on the back of my neck tingled. Turning around, I caught Hunter staring. He was in the ring opposite me with Viceroy, circling him like a lion. A twinge of apprehension pierced my chest. Viceroy wasn’t exactly a friend, but I wasn’t looking forward to him being eliminated. And I knew there was no way he was making it out of that ring with my mate.
Be careful, please. His weary voice dribbled through the bond, and my chest constricted. There was something wrong with him, so terribly wrong. I could feel it deep within my being.
The buzzer sounded, and I chucked all the fear and anxiety aside. Focusing on the massive male in front of me, I curled my hands into fists and willed my wolf to the surface. Today, I needed her magic, not her fur. She wouldn’t be pleased to sit this one out, but she was no match for that blade.
Zuriel lunged, arcing his flaming sword. I spun out of the way and slid between his thick thighs. “Disparatum!” I shouted, splaying my hand out.
The sword disappeared, and Zuriel’s light brows slammed together. He closed his fist and another one appeared in its place.
Dammit.
“Nice try, little witch.” He smirked. “But you’ll need to do better than that.” His wings unfurled, and he soared across the ring.
I barely had time to summon my dagger and drive it up to meet his sword. The clash reverberated through my bones, making my teeth chatter.
Note to self: never do that again.
“Velocem!” I muttered and I raced around the ring, faster than Ransom’s vamp speed. Zuriel tried to catch me but with his hulking form, even his wings were no match for my agility. Sweat pooled on my brow as I dodged the giant and his blade. I thought back to Hunter’s advice and cringed. I was taking too long; two minutes had already ticked by as I ran circles around him, but how was I going to take the big guy down?
I stopped abruptly, and Zuriel charged. With his sword high in the air, he brought it down in what I was certain would’ve been a fatal blow. Before the blade came down, I threw my hand out and shouted, “Ferme immediatum!”
The sword halted inches away from my neck, the angel’s expression frozen in surprise.
I drew in a deep breath and inched away from the deadly blade. Had he really tried to kill me? A punch in the gut would’ve hurt less. Of all the Lunar males, Zuriel had always been kind, but the truth was that he was as ruthless as the rest of them.
Staring up at the towering angel/wolf, a hint of sadness billowed inside. The clock ticked over our heads, counting down the final minutes. I called out to the attendant who stood below. “Does this count as incapacitated?”
He glanced up at the frozen Celestial and shrugged. “I suppose so.” He walked over to whisper to the attendant at the adjacent ring as I watched the seconds tick down. When he finished their muted discussion, he turned back to me. “We’ll give him until the five minutes are up.”
“Fine,” I muttered. The hint of a smile tugged at my lips as I stared up at Zuriel’s motionless features. His eyes were wide, and mouth curved into a capital O. One minute to go, and I will have defeated my first opponent one-on-one. And it had been easy. Magic danced along my skin, my wolf bubbling to the surface.
There was something anti-climactic about freezing the big wolf to victory. An idea flickered through my mind.
No… Hunter growled.
I spun in his direction. Viceroy was already out of the ring, pacing and cursing up a storm. Hunter must’ve already beaten him, and now he was eavesdropping on my thoughts.
Ignoring him, I summoned my dagger and rose to my tiptoes. Pressing it against Zuriel’s throat, I snapped my fingers. The spell broke, and the Celestial flared to life.
“Yield,” I snarled and pressed the blade against his neck. A drop of blood raced down his turquoise suit.
He glanced up at the clock as the final seconds ran down.
“Five…” I hissed. “Yield.” I pressed harder, breaking the skin. “Four…”
He whimpered.
“Three… Yield!”
I buried the pointy tip in further.
He yipped and ground his teeth.
“Two…” Blood rushed down his suit, staining the vivid blue. I pivoted my wrist, pushing the blade in deeper still.
“I yield,” he hissed.
The buzzer rang out, and a wave of applause broke the tense standoff. Lowering the dagger, I rewarded Zuriel with a beaming smile. “I didn’t want to hurt you, big guy, but fair is fair. You tried to cut off my head, so let’s call it even, huh?”
He scowled and leapt off stage, his magnificent wings stretched tight across his back.
The attendant jumped into the ring and eyeing me nervously, took my hand and lifted it into the air. “And the winner is Alpha Sierra!”
Chapter Sixteen
I tapped my foot outside the Dragos changing room, counting down the minutes since Hunter had disappeared inside. He’d promised we’d discuss what was going on and now that the event was over, his time was up.
Gods, he was taking long.
“Congratulations, little she-wolf.” Viceroy slinked by me.
“Thanks, I’m sorry you didn’t--”
He raised a hand, cutting me off. “No need to be sorry. This isn’t my dream after all. And we both knew your mate would be the one leaving the ring triumphant.”
Today had been a big elimination with our numbers down to half. Only Aquor, Ransom, Hunter, Araton, and me remained. This was it. The trials were finally coming to an end.
Which meant I’d be pitted against my friends before long.
“Is Vix going to be okay?”
He shrugged. “Probably. That insufferable angel only broke his arm and a few ribs. It takes more than that to kill my cousin.”
“I’m sorry he was hurt.”
“We all know what we signed up for, little wolf.” He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. “For some of us, the priorities may have shifted, but the end game is the same.”
My brows knitted as I considered his words.
“You did well today. Keep that up and even your own mate won’t be a match for you much longer.”
“Thanks,” I muttered as he sauntered toward the table of assorted platters. I paced in front of Hunter’s changing room for a few more minutes before stopping in front of the door. As I lifted my knuckles to the timber, I scanned the mate link. Still nothing. Not an inkling of what he was feeling.
I knocked sharply, unable to contain the annoyance.
“Just a second.” Hunter’s voice seeped through the cracks and even with the door between us, I could hear the brokenness, the desperation.
Screw this. I jerked the door open and barreled into the small room. He sat on the bench, still in his dark green suit, face buried in his hands. A crack raced across my heart at the sight. I folded down beside him and wrapped an arm around his taut shoulders. “Please, Hunter, tell me what’s wrong.”
His jaw clenched, teeth grinding so hard I could hear it. “I lied to you yesterday.” He kept his gaze straight ahead, refusing to meet mine. “I didn’t go to Nocturnis. I went to see the high warlock Garrix.”
Ice spilled through my veins. “About the curse?”
He nodded.
My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, all the saliva evaporated. “What happened?” I forced out.
“He broke the curse; I think.” He paused and sucked in his lower lip. “But something went wrong. I—I can’t feel anything.”
All the air whooshed from my lungs, and my shoulders caved in on me. “What? What do you mean?”
“My emotions,” he hissed. “They’re gone… All of them.”
My mouth curved into a capital O as I tried to process his words. “No…”
“He warned me of the risks but I didn’t care, I didn’t want to listen. I would’ve tried anything. Anything for us.”
Darkness seeped into the corners of my eyes, my heart jackhammering against my ribs as I began to make sense of what he was saying. My worst fears had come true. “I told you not to do anything stupid. Gods, Hunter, why didn’t you listen to me?”
Muttered voices filtered through the cracks in the door, and I slammed my jaw shut.
“Let’s not do this here,” he whispered.
Teeth clenched, I nodded. He stripped out of his suit, and my eyes landed on streaks of dried blood across his torso. “You’re hurt,” I muttered.
“It’s fine. I just need a shower.” He disappeared into the attached bathroom and the rush of water came only a second before the first tear escaped. Burying my face in my hands, I willed them all out, hard and fast, desperate to get my breakdown over before he returned.
Gods, not being able to love me was one thing, but not being able to feel anything? Could he feel anger, pain? Or was it just the positive emotions that had been numbed? I wasn’t sure I could wait to get home to have this conversation. I rose and paced the small chamber, sweeping away the last remnants of tears. I couldn’t break now, not after everything we’d been through.
There had to be a way out of this, just like everything else we’d endured. I’d go see the great Garrix myself and make him fix this.
Hunter appeared in the doorway seconds later, tiny beads of water glistening on his chest and a towel hung low on his hips. A stray drop fell from his hair, sliding down his chest and gliding across his carved abdomen. I couldn’t help but follow its trail down his perfect form. My core clenched as images of the last time we were together flickered across my mind.
His nostrils flared, and I knew he could scent my arousal. I waited for his wave of desire to pummel my insides, but it never came. Only a gigantic void connected us. He must have noticed the same thing because his lips twisted into a scowl. Without meeting my eyes, he tugged a shirt over his head.
I diverted my eyes as he finished dressing so he wouldn’t see the swell of tears. He really felt nothing—nothing at all for me. Not even lust or desire. How was this possible?
“We can go.” His rough voice spun me toward him, and a piece of my heart broke at the hollow look in his eyes.
I followed him out of the changing area and marched past the remaining wolves lingering around the buffet table. Ransom was already gone, and I didn’t care enough about the others to say goodbye. I was sure I’d see the ones who’d been eliminated before long.
As soon as we were outside the arena, Hunter’s wings unfurled, and he offered his hand. My fingers closed around his palm and the familiar warmth soothed my aching heart, but only for a moment. When my eyes lifted to his, the icy emerald sent a chill up my spine. My Hunter was gone.
He lifted me to his chest, but I couldn’t sink into his embrace. His torso was tense, arms stiff as he propelled us up. I loved flying with Hunter more than anything. There was nowhere I’d rather be than enveloped in his arms, soaring across the valley, but today everything felt wrong.
We flew back to Lupine Hill in a tense silence, my spiraling thoughts more than enough company for the short trip. When Hunter landed atop the hill, he released me, and we continued to my den without a word. As I unlocked the door, I thanked the stars that Braxton had already moved out. The last thing I needed was him listening in on this conversation.
Hunter skulked into the living room as I checked on Connor in my room. Peering through the crack in the door, I confirmed he was still asleep. After our conversation last night, he’d remained blissfully unconscious, which Terra had confirmed was completely normal. I quietly closed the door and crept back to the sitting room.
Hunter sat on the couch, his face devoid of emotion. A steady hum of nothingness coursed through the bond, corroborating my speculation that all emotions had been erased, both good and bad.
I folded down beside him and steeled my nerves, reminding myself he’d done this for me, no, for us. “Okay, tell me everything.”
He shrugged and let out a long sigh. “There’s not that much to tell. Like I said before, I went to see Garrix to get this damned curse removed and something went wrong. I felt it, the moment my emotions were carved out.”
“So did I.”
His eyes lifted to mine, the gold of his wolf completely eclipsed by the emerald which governed his rational thoughts. “You did?”
I nodded. “It hurt like hell.”
“You should’ve been there in person.” A rueful chuckle tumbled from his lips. He swallowed it down, and the hint of amusement disappeared.
“What about your wolf?”
“I haven’t felt him either. Our beasts are controlled by our emotions and without them… I just don’t know.”
Another sliver of my heart cracked. “But your wings are working?”
“Right. I’m not sure why. I just can’t feel my wolf, and I know he’s gotta still be in there or else I wouldn’t have been able to summon the dragon wings.”
“What did Garrix say? Can he fix it?”
“He doesn’t know. He said it could be temporary or---” His words trailed off, and the pit of dread that had been residing in my gut for days finally made sense.
“You could stay like this forever?” I cried.
His head dipped, and he stared down at his boots.
I grabbed his chin, forcing his gaze to mine. “Why would you do this if Garrix warned you of the risks?”
“Why? You really don’t know?” He gritted his teeth, trying to turn his head, but I tightened my hold on his chin and compelled his eyes to mine. “Because of the hell I’ve put you through, Sierra. This was the only thing I could offer you. It was the least I could offer you—a mate that could actually love you.”
“Gods, Hunter! You’re so stupidly selfless and stubborn. I told you from the beginning that you were all I needed. What you gave me was enough, it was more than enough. It was all I’d ever wanted. I love you enough for both of us.” I took his hands between mine and threaded my fingers between his big, calloused ones. “We’ll fix this. Don’t you dare lose hope. It’s probably just temporary, like Garrix said.”
His eyes closed, and
he loosed a frustrated breath. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, that’s right, you don’t. So please, please, don’t do anything stupid. I know you, and I can already guess what you’re thinking. Leaving me so I don’t have to deal with a mate with no feelings is not the answer. Do you hear me?” Hunter’s eyes slowly opened, and I threw him my steeliest glare. “Do you?”
“Yes,” he said on an exhale.
“I’m not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to push me away. I’m your mate, and we’re bound until death do us part.”
His brow arched. “That sounds more like wedding vows.”
I shrugged one shoulder and gave him a smirk. “We’ll talk more about that when you’re back to your old self.” Scooting closer, I draped my arms around his neck. “I love you. Please don’t give up on us.”
His arms came around my waist, and he pulled me into his lap. For a second, everything felt so natural, so much like before. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck and his familiar scent of cedarwood and vanilla wrapped me in a warm cocoon.
I convinced myself everything would be okay. Because it had to be.
Chapter Seventeen
Hunter
* * *
I watched Sierra as she slept, willing some sort of emotion out. Anything. Anger toward my father, frustration at the situation, sadness for all we’d loss, desire for the woman splayed on top of me. But I felt nothing. Nothing.
An empty void echoed where my emotions had once resided, where my wolf called home. His absence worried me the most. If I couldn’t shift, I wouldn’t be able to protect Sierra. Even that, my most basic need to protect her had vanished. I knew logically that I should, but no emotions compelled the urge.
What had I done?
No matter what I did, I only made things worse for my mate. I’d promised her I wouldn’t abandon her for her own good, but if this situation became permanent, I’d have to break my vow. I wouldn’t allow her to give up her life for an unfeeling beast. I would finish out the trials, ensure she won, and if I couldn’t be fixed, I’d disappear.