‘Thirsty,’ she said.
We followed the river up to the Bamboo Garden, which was my favourite place in Kamakura. I paid the admission fee and then I paid a little extra so we could have tea. And then, making our way along a boardwalk, we entered a forest of bamboo. It was pretty dark inside because of the clouds and the tall shoots, but it made the place more magical. The Lump was immediately amazed and wandered around like she’d entered an enchanted garden. She gazed up at the green shoots while turning in circles.
‘Beautiful!’ she said.
But then it poured down and so we scurried to the cabin at the far end of the forest. There was a light on inside and there were two women wearing kimonos. I gave one of the women the tickets and they started to make the tea. The Lump watched them closely as they whisked the green powder into a thick broth and then, when it was as thick as pea soup, they handed us the cups. The women smiled at the Lump and one of them gave her a cookie, and the Lump smiled back as she took it.
We took a seat and drank the tea while watching the rain soak the small forest. I felt cosy then and my mind mellowed, but suddenly we heard ringing. Me and the Lump looked at each other. Then it came to us: the phone! I laughed as she scrambled to take off her rucksack. And then she couldn’t get it open fast enough. ‘Hello. Mikazuki speaking! …’ But then she cringed a little and the joy left her face. ‘OK.’ Slowly she put down the phone. I knew then it was a wrong number, and she’d waited all that time.
The women behind the counter looked concerned. ‘Is she OK?’ they asked.
As I turned to answer them the Lump ran out of the hut. I grabbed her rucksack and cell and ran after her. I sprinted down the boardwalk and out into the street, and then I chased her through the rain.
She was heading to the river! And she was running as fast as she could. I tore through those streets, and grabbing her jacket I pulled her up!
‘It’s OK,’ I said.
She held her head in her hands. She tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come. And she was in so much pain! She reminded me of Hiroshi on that horrible night. And it absolutely killed me to see her that way! All she wanted was one lousy phone call to tell her that they loved her. But they didn’t love her and so they’d never call.
‘You don’t need them. You’ve got me! When you go home I’ll call you. I promise!’
The Lump was almost crying. ‘But you –’ she fought to get the words out – ‘don’t care!’
‘Of course I care!’
She shook her head. ‘No. Retard, you say – dummy!’
I felt so bad then I couldn’t speak myself. I sank to my knees. ‘I shouldn’t have said those things, but I do care. I didn’t at first, but I do now.’
‘No!’
‘Of course I do! I’m going to ask Grandmother if you can stay with us for good!’
The Lump looked at me to see if it was true. Then she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. And when I thought about it, it was true. I didn’t want her going back to those phoney parents. I liked having her around.
‘I’ll tell you what. Let’s stop off at Yokohama on the way home. They’ve got a funfair by the sea. We’ll have a great time – just you and me.’
I put my hand on her shoulder and walked her back to the station. And by the time we got there she was happy again. But that was the Lump for you. She lived in the moment and she left bad things in the past. I was starting to realize that there were some truly great things about my cousin. And that was just one of them.
The rain had stopped by the time we got off the train but the sun was starting to set. We made our way down to the waterfront, where Yokohama’s stylist skyscrapers fought for attention. There was the triangular Pan Pacific, the sail-shaped Grand and the rocket-shaped Royal Park. But the Lump wasn’t interested in architecture. Her eyes were fixed on the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster that ran around it. And so we crossed the canals and headed along the footbridge that led to the amusement park, which was built over the old docks. But the Lump stopped when she saw the sailing ship with the huge sails. She looked at it like she wanted to run around on its decks. Then she saw the small kids screaming in the go-carts and the passenger ship that was taking people to faraway lands. She was so excited she didn’t know which way to turn. But the screams from the amusement park put her back on track and she ran towards it.
She lined up for the roller coaster while rocking her body in time to the techno music. The other kids gave her a funny look as she tried to dance, but the Lump was too happy to notice. But her face soured when I gave her the ticket and walked away.
‘You!’ she said.
To be honest, I was kind of scared of roller coasters, and my life had become scary enough.
‘I’ll watch,’ I said, and sat on a bench.
The Lump looked worried then and so I gave her some candy to take her mind off things. But when it was time to get on board she made the mistake of sitting in the front, which was always the scariest seat. And she looked glum as the guy brought down the restraint. And when the roller coaster started to move she started to mumble. And then she gave me a dirty look. It was like I’d deserted her in her hour of need. The roller coaster crawled to the top and then there was clattering and screaming and she disappeared. I heard the Lump scream above the blasting music. Then suddenly she flew by with her face frozen with fear. I couldn’t help but laugh. She went by again and looked to me for help. But there was nothing I could do and so I laughed some more. I caught more glimpses of her in between my laughter and then the roller coaster came to a stop. I thought she’d jump out and attack me but she stayed in her seat. ‘Again!’ she said.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Again!’ said the Lump.
I gave her a ticket and stood back. Slowly the roller coaster moved away, only this time the Lump’s head was bobbing with the music. She even danced a little in her seat. But she stopped as it reached the top and, raising her arms in the air, she dropped. There was that clattering sound and she shot by laughing her little Lump head off. She was such a madman.
She wanted to stay on again and so I gave her a ticket and left her to it. But then another girl came along and sat next to her. And funnily enough she looked just like the Lump. She was short and round and she had the same sort of face. The only thing that was missing was the palm tree. They looked at each other and smiled and then they sat there as content as two eggs in a tray. The Lump had made a little friend.
But I thought about what I’d said when I sat on the bench. And I realized I shouldn’t have said it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want the Lump living with us – I did. But Grandmother might not want her there. And I had the war to think of. I mean, I could be killed or arrested. Or the yakuza might find out where I lived and the Lump could get hurt. Then my mind turned dark with bad thoughts and I imagined how I’d butcher anyone who hurt her!
The ride finished and Lump and her little friend came running over. The Lump looked nervous as she introduced me. ‘Uncle Yukio.’ It was the first time she’d used my name and it sounded nice when she said it. The girl bowed a little and I bowed back. Then the Lump stood there looking awkward, but I knew what she was after. ‘Here.’ I gave her a stack of five-hundred-yen coins and she smiled as she collected them. Then they ran to a woman on a bench with a baby, who must have been the girl’s mother. And then they ran back to the funfair.
They went on all the rides, running from one to the other, and then they went back on the roller coaster and stayed on it until the money ran out. The girl’s mother packed up her things and called her. The girl and the Lump looked hurt then, like they didn’t want to part. And so they gave each other a hug before saying goodbye. The girl walked away with her mother while looking back at the Lump. The Lump smiled and waved and the girl waved back. But the Lump looked a little down when she’d gone. And so I went over to her.
‘Hungry?’
‘Hungry,’ said the Lump. And the joy returned to her face.
We went into the World Port building, which had been turned into a shopping mall, and taking the escalator to the food court we wandered around deciding what to eat. I was thinking of having domburi, which is a bowl of rice served with beef and egg. But the Lump stopped at a pizza place and never moved on. So we got a large pizza, with a couple of extra-large Cokes, and we ate it until we were stuffed. I sat there thinking about what a good day it had been, but then I saw Uncle Benni on a TV screen!
He came out of a large house and got into a Mercedes while being snapped by photographers. I stood up and went to the TV just in time to see Riko! She was wearing sunglasses and a short dress, and as she got in the car the lights flashed around her. And then in my mind I saw her that night in the club. She was seething because Miko was better-looking than her. And so, like an evil spider, she’d trapped her in her web. And when I thought about it I was boiling with hatred! But then I realized. That must be his house. I stood closer and scanned the screen. The car drove down a driveway and two bodyguards pulled back the ironbarred gates. There were golden lion dogs, on posts, either side of the entrance. And as the Mercedes drove down the street I saw Tokyo Tower in the distance. It could only have been two or three miles away.
The camera turned to a woman with a mic. ‘Benni Tanaka, godfather of Tokyo, has taken on extra bodyguards now that more of his crew have been killed. But who is behind these killings? And when will they strike again? These are the questions that all of Tokyo is asking. This is Anna Takahashi reporting live for Tokyo on Five.’
Extra bodyguards! They’ll need them! Because I’m going to find that house and when I do …
‘Water,’ said the Lump.
I knew she’d be able to read my face. And so I froze for a second before looking down at her.
‘You want water?’
‘To see the sea,’ said the Lump.
‘Oh. Come on then.’
I tried to get the bad thoughts out of my head as we went down the escalator. Otherwise the Lump would sense something. But she seemed happy enough. She spun around as we headed down to the waterfront, and she ran to the sea as soon as she saw it. It was dark then and the rain had come back, but it was only drizzle and it felt nice with the night being so hot.
Yokohama Bay Bridge was lit up and so was the passenger terminal. And when we turned we saw the skyscrapers lighting up the low clouds, and the Ferris wheel reflected in the water. A white ship cruised into the bay with well-dressed people on board. We could hear their conversations and their glasses clinking. Then fireworks flew up from the ship and the sky exploded in colour. I watched for a while and then I turned to the Lump, who was smiling. I smiled back, but really I felt bad inside. I was torn between the hatred I felt for the Tanakas and the affection I felt for the Lump. And both those feelings were so strong they put me in pain.
‘Beautiful!’ said the Lump.
But I did my best to seem happy. ‘Yes, beautiful,’ I said.
12
I heard the Lump coming upstairs for the second time and then she knocked on the door and came in. ‘Up!’ I opened my eyes. ‘Up!’ she said, and slamming the door she disappeared. The Lump was taking liberties now that we were friends and I wasn’t happy about it. All night I’d had bad dreams that revolved around the Buddhist festival of Obon, which is when we traditionally honour our ancestors. We go to their graves and clean them and pray, and on that day the spirits of the dead are said to revisit the household altars. The twins were not my ancestors and they never had a family altar. But we do, downstairs, and I dreamt that they came to it. But it turned into a nightmare because in my dream they were being held by Hungry Ghosts. Hungry Ghosts were evil people in their previous lives, and having built up so much bad karma they’re tortured through hunger, thirst and heat. Even the moon scorches their skin. I dreamt that Louise and Kako and the other yakuza I’d killed had turned into Hungry Ghosts and they had hold of the twins. The twins were pleading with me to get them away, but I couldn’t. Every time I grabbed hold of a Hungry Ghost their skin would melt through my fingers. In the end I ran upstairs but they were all over the house. Some were drinking water from the toilet. Others were crying in corners. It was such a horrific nightmare. But now in the light of day I felt ashamed that I’d run away. I should never have left the twins when they needed me. Not even in a dream.
I heard the Lump running upstairs and then the door opened again. ‘Up!’
I pulled the covers over my head. ‘Go away, you dummy.’
‘Dummy!’ I heard her small feet shuffle and then she started hitting me over the head with a pillow.
‘Pack it in!’
She wouldn’t and so I threw my pillow at her, but she was too fast. The door slammed and I heard her laughing as she ran downstairs. Then I heard Yoshe.
‘Yukio, you have to get up.’
I did have to get up as well. Not only because it was Obon, but because Natsuko was going to be saying a small mass over the twins’ graves.
I showered and dressed in a white shirt and black pants, and then I trotted downstairs. The paper was on the hall table, and picking it up I looked for news of the killings. But I didn’t like what I saw. Turns out that old yakuza I’d killed had a daughter in a wheelchair. ‘Tell my daughter I love her.’ That was what he’d said. He probably did love his daughter, and he didn’t seem like such a bad guy. But I’d bet he’d done plenty of damage in his day. And I’d bet he had something to do with entrapping the twins. So to hell with him!
Yoshe came into the hall with the Lump and the baby. ‘You head over with Mikazuki. I’ll get a taxi when I’m done.’
‘You’re coming?’
Yoshe looked surprised. ‘Yes, I loved the twins. I couldn’t be at the funeral because—’
‘Sorry, Yoshe, I didn’t mean anything by it … Would you like me to help you with your housework? That way we can all go together.’
‘That’s OK. But you can take the baby if you want!’
I looked at the baby and he looked at me. ‘Sure,’ I said. But I’d never so much as taken him to the park.
The Lump’s face lit up. ‘I’ll push!’ she said.
Yoshe put the baby in his buggy and we stepped outside. Then she kissed his face. ‘Look after him.’
‘I will.’ I put on my dark sunglasses and started to push him away.
‘And try to keep him clean,’ shouted Yoshe.
We crossed the tracks and the road, and running up the ramp we cut through the park. I pulled back the buggy until the front wheels came up and the baby was lying flat, and he liked it and laughed.
‘No,’ said the Lump, looking concerned.
But I did it again.
‘Get sick,’ said the Lump.
‘No, he won’t.’ And he didn’t. The Lump was just jealous because the baby liked me. But then she started mumbling and so I felt bad and gave her the buggy. She was happy then and she pushed him proudly through the park.
But then something scary happened. I heard the clanging sound that the barrier makes when the train’s coming. But we were well away from the crossing.
‘Can you hear ringing?’
‘Ringing? No,’ said the Lump.
That meant I was hearing it in my head! I sank down on a bench and covered my ears. But it wouldn’t stop! All of a sudden I felt frightened.
Then the Lump screamed. ‘Ants!’
She scared the hell out of me! ‘Do you have to shout like that?’
The Lump pushed the buggy towards the trees. ‘Ants,’ she whispered, and pointed them out to the baby. The baby leaned forward in his buggy until he saw what she saw. ‘Onts,’ he said. The Lump and the baby laughed, but I still felt frightened. How could I hear something that wasn’t real?
‘Sixteen,’ said the Lump.
That got to me! I jumped up, and snatching off my sunglasses I started to count. ‘One, two, three … There’re only fifteen!’ I said.
‘Tree,’ said the Lump.
And su
re enough there was an ant crawling up the trunk of the tree.
‘Ant and the rubber-tree plant,’ said the Lump. And then she sang. ‘Whoops, there goes another rubber-tree plant.’
I froze for a second. Then the ringing stopped. Then I burst out laughing and the baby joined in. ‘You lunatic!’ I said, and grabbing the buggy I pretended to run her down. The Lump screamed and laughed and ran away, and me and the baby chased her all the way to the gate.
On our way down Omotesando I bought a few stacks of flowers and I bought the Lump and the baby an ice cream each. I didn’t think about what Yoshe had said about keeping him clean until we were in the cemetery. But when I looked into the buggy I almost died. It was like he’d washed himself in ice cream just to spite me. I grabbed some wipes and started to clean him. But then I saw the twins’ grandad getting out of a taxi. I had known he was going to be there and I was dreading seeing him. I still felt guilty over their deaths, and I was sure that he blamed me in some way.
Then I saw Natsuko walking through the graves in her white robes. She shielded her eyes from the sun and then she came towards us. She must have sensed I was feeling nervous.
‘It’ll be OK,’ she said. That warm feeling came from her then and I knew that it would be.
‘And how is my little Mikazuki?’ asked Natsuko.
The Lump bowed. ‘Good,’ she said.
‘And you’ve brought a friend!’
‘Baby!’ said the Lump, looking proud.
Natsuko smiled and caressed the baby’s hand. ‘How beautiful.’ Then she looked at me. ‘Shall we begin?’
We headed over to the twins’ grandad, who was gazing down at their graves. He looked so tired and his face was creased with pain. I’d known this old man all my life and not once had he ever said a bad word to me. And to see him now lost and alone was so sad. But he looked relieved when he saw me.
Summertime of the Dead Page 14