“That’s so far from what I’m thinkin’ that it isn’t funny, darlin’,” Jacob growled. “It took courage, goin’ off to face that asshole alone. Not sayin’ that I wish you hadn’t done it, ‘cause I know that this is gonna get uglier, but it took guts. There’s no doubt about that.”
“I was stupid,” he heard Harmony laugh, a distorted nasty laugh that chilled Jacob to the bone and had him reaching out to touch her leg.
“But,” she continued relentlessly, “I was so hopped up on adrenaline and fueled by a rage so hot that it threatened to burn me up from the inside out that Jesus Christ himself couldn’t have stopped me. When I got to our trailer, Tanner was drunk as a skunk, which wasn’t any big surprise. He spent ninety percent of his time lit. This night though, I don’t think it was just alcohol that he’d been drinkin’. His eyes… those black pupils of his were like saucers, and I knew he was high in a way that I’d never seen him. I started screaming at him as soon as I came through the door, and as soon as he saw me, he started laughing at me like I was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. No matter how loud I got or what I said, he just kept up that damn laughin’. I just got madder and madder the longer I stood there yellin’.” She paused for a moment as she took a deep breath that seemed to catch in her already-tight chest. “I told him what had happened to Honor, and he just kept fucking cackling. I saw red, Jake. I remember reachin’ for one of the empty beer bottles that he’d left on the coffee table, thinkin’ if I threw it that might knock some sense in him. I shoulda never reached for that bottle, but something just broke inside me,” she choked out, shivering violently.
“Baby,” Jacob murmured, “Anybody would have reacted the same way. You were traumatized, and you were married to a piece of shit.”
“When I threw that bottle, it was like I unleashed a monster inside that house. He came at me with his fists, and I knew…I was gonna die. The first hit knocked me nearly through a wall, and he just kept pummeling. He ran my head through a mirror on the wall, and I went down hard. I don’t know if the blood scared him, or he just realized that killin’ me meant that he’d never breathe easy another day in his life, but he spit in my face one last time and stormed out of there. I must have blacked out after that because the next thing I remember is hearing Patience’s voice in my ear, yellin’ at me to open my eyes. Somewhere along the line that night, she’d realized that her keys were missing, and I was gone. It didn’t take her two seconds to figure out where I’d gone.”
“Thank God for Patience,” Jake managed to say as he fought to get his own anger under control.
“Yeah,” Harmony agreed weakly. “If you stick around long enough, you’ll see that all of the McKinnon girls seem to have a knack for knowin’ when one of the others is in trouble. Faith had a feeling about Honor, too, the night she was taken. She just knew something was wrong. With me, it was Patience. We’re just… connected.”
“Thank God for that,” Jacob breathed, lifting a hand to brush at the tears still rolling out of Harmony’s eyes and wishing like hell he could take away her pain.
Sniffling, Harmony sighed. “Patience made Abel bring her right to the trailer when she got that feeling that something awful had happened. They got me to the hospital. I’d been beat to hell and back and needed a dozen stitches to sew up the gash in my forehead,” she murmured, unconsciously touching the thin scar that ran beneath the bangs she always wore. “It’s really a blur for me. I know that Abel and Zeke tracked Tanner down at some slut’s house on the outside of town the next day. Zeke already had a heavy grudge burnin’ in his gut over the fact that Tanner’s idiocy had gotten Honor nearly killed, and Abel’s mood wasn’t fairin’ much better after I’d bled all over him.”
“Tanner’s lucky Zeke just didn’t put a bullet in his head.” Jake stifled a growl that was burning in his throat. “I’ve talked to the man. Those feeling that he has for your baby sister run deep and they run long, Sweetness.”
“Yeah, they do.” Harmony nodded. “I only know what little Abel told me about the conversation. The gist was that Zeke held a gun on Tanner until he agreed to sign divorce papers that Abel had Judge Blackstone backdate for us. The Judge used to play cards with my Daddy and didn’t take real kindly to the notion that his old friend’s daughter was bein’ used as a punching bag. He did us a huge favor. After they got his signature, Abel slapped a restraining order down on him and recommended that Tanner get the hell out of Paradise. All manner of unfortunate accidents can befall a man when he had no friends and no allies… and both men promised Tanner they’d spread the word around to make sure he had neither.”
“Looks like I owe both Zeke and Abel a debt I’ll never be able to repay then,” Jake replied evenly as Harmony drew a shaky breath. “If not for them, you might not have been here for me to find.” Personally, he would have opted for the bullet to the brain, but each man had done his part to make Harmony safe, so he wouldn’t split hairs. But damn, a well-placed shot would have saved the world a lot of trouble.
“You didn’t find what you think you want, Jake. Believe me, I’m no prize. You’ll see…”
“Nothing you can say is gonna change the fact that I want you, Harmony,” Jake countered, leaning forward to tilt her chin toward him. “Not a single fucking thing.”
“You go right on thinkin’ that. The story’s not done yet,” she informed him ominously, her sweet voice husky from the tears she’d shed. “After that final fight with Tanner - God,” she breathed, shaking her head, “I wanted to drink wine like it was a fifth food group. I wanted something… anything to dull my pain and shame. Except, I couldn’t. See, while I was in the hospital, I found out that Tanner got off one last parting shot – though he didn’t know it. I was pregnant. So, wanting to sink into a drugged stupor just wasn’t possible.” Shrugging, Harmony pressed her lips together for just a moment, then kept going. “Cain’s little revelation that I was going to have Tanner’s baby put a stop to that real fast. One final parting gift from the man that ruined my life, that’s what I thought about the child growing in my womb as I laid in that hospital bed. I was so angry at him … at myself… at this little person that I was carrying around inside me. I felt like the baby was my punishment, a living reminder for the rest of my life of my monumental stupidity. And not only was I going to be forced to live with it, but it was gonna be a reminder to Honor and both my other sisters that I was the reason for what happened that night. After all, if I hadn’t married Tanner, he would never have agreed to pick Honor up…he’d have never been cheating on me…he’d never…” she trailed off for a second, misery creasing her face in lines that spoke of the lingering taint Tanner had left on her.
“Let’s just say that I was mad at the world and my innocent unborn baby for far longer than I should have been. I’m not proud of it,” she whispered painfully, lifting a hand to swipe her wet cheek. “It would kill me if Heaven ever found out how I felt when I learned about her existence. Some of the things I said out loud… I was horrible.”
“Christ, Harmony, you weren’t horrible. You were human. Big difference, sweetheart,” Jacob stated rationally, trying to inject some reason into her faulty logic.
Staring at him a long moment, she blinked slowly before confessing, “I fell down the stairs two weeks after I came home from the hospital, and prayed all night that I’d miscarry. When I didn’t, I actually called and made an appointment in a Nashville clinic. I drove almost an hour away before I realized…”
“…that you couldn’t do it, Harmony,” Jacob interrupted forcefully. “Heaven’s here in glorious, living color, babe. Whatever things you thought about doing or almost did, she’s here.”
“If my baby ever knew that I debated having an…” Harmony shuddered as memories from those dark days assaulted her, a sob catching in her throat.
“She doesn’t and she won’t ever need to, Harmony,” Jacob cut her off again as he tightened his fingers on her chin. “You’re living in the past. The woman you were in those a
wful days following what happened to both you and Honor isn’t the woman or the mother that you are now. You’ve got to forgive yourself before this eats you alive.”
“I was five months along before I even wanted her… before I felt like she was anything but a burden I was carrying around,” Harmony admitted in a small voice. Drawing a deep breath, Harmony lifted her head to look at Jacob. “I can tell you when how I felt changed, though….right down to the moment. It was the first time I felt Heaven move inside me. It was also the first time Honor spoke a word after she was kidnapped,” she explained in a voice that still trembled.
“Tell me, baby,” Jacob urged gently.
“Honor was curled up on the couch, restin’ her head against my belly while we both pretended to be watchin’ some silly television show. Honor never spoke then. Hell, she barely reacted to anything at all. She just… existed. I was playing with her hair, thinking about how in the world I was gonna be a momma to a baby that I didn’t want when I felt Heaven haul off and kick me in the ribs. It was almost like she was punishin’ me for thinking such garbage. I must have gasped or something because a heartbeat later, Honor’s little head lifted off me. Her eyes… Honor’s eyes had been vacant for so long, Jake. It was almost like she didn’t even live in her body anymore after what happened. But that kick… it was like Heaven woke her up. She woke us both up,” she shared in a watery voice. “I can still hear Honor’s voice that night, Jake. She said, ‘That’s our baby, Harmony. She’s ours, not his. We fought a band of demons for her, and they got their pounds of flesh from both of us in payment. But Harmony, we got her. She’s our reward. She’s the prize we earned for surviving hell. Don’t let the memory of a bad man take that miracle from both of us. That baby you’re carrying is proof that there really is a Heaven.’.”
“Heaven,” Jacob repeated with a faint smile.
Harmony nodded. “Heaven brought my sister back to us, and from that night on, I did my best. I ate right. I exercised. I was careful. I couldn’t undo all the hurtful things I’d said about her or take back the awful thoughts I’d had, but I made up my mind to be the best mother that I could. I never saw my baby as anything other than mine after Honor set me straight. But still, the things that I’d done and the way I acted then….” Her voice broke again as a choked sob escaped her lips. “I don’t deserve her. I’ll never deserve the unconditional love my daughter brought into my life.”
Jacob had kept his hands off her for as long as he could, but watching her small body folding in on itself, he couldn’t keep still any longer. Wrapping a long arm around her back as he shifted beside her, he pulled her into his chest, muffling her cries. For years, he’d sworn that there was nothing and no one he’d put above his badge and his need for vengeance for his sister’s death. As he felt Harmony’s tiny arms snake around his waist while her head burrowed against his throat and her tears dampened his skin, he knew those days were gone. Those feelings had been replaced by a far greater need.
The need to protect.
The need to shelter.
And lastly, the far greater need to keep Harmony, now that he’d found her, in his life.
Chapter Twelve
An hour later, Jacob Stone was certain of exactly three things.
First, there was a God.
Second, that God – the one he’d just decided existed - was out to screw with him. He had to be.
He had to be because third, Harmony McKinnon was absolutely the right woman for him at the wrong fucking time in his life.
He’d broken her. He’d coerced her into confiding all her deep dark secrets, finally completely clearing her in his mind of any former or potential wrong-doing once and for all, and he’d fucking broken her!
He was a dick. He deserved to have his own ass handed to him. He wished he could plant a fist in his own jaw. Of course, none of that would stop the tears that were still flowing out of her. “Fuck,” he hissed under his breath, keeping one eye on where she’d curled up on her side on his couch, still sobbing, as he searched through his cabinets for something that might calm her. He’d spent the last hour holding her, even pulling her in his lap and rocking her against him, but nothing had stopped the tears. Running a restless hand through his hair, he fought the urge to punch the wall. Jesus Christ, he felt like a monster for insisting she talk through her experiences with Tanner Suarez.
He’d known enough; he hadn’t really needed to know it all, had he?
Turning to look at her fully when he heard her breath hitch roughly from across the room, he grimaced. At this rate, she was going to make herself sick. How was that for a memorable first date? Flowers, check. Wine, check. Drive your date to the edge of her sanity, fucking check!
When it had started, he’d mistakenly thought that this would be a cathartic experience for her; that, in the end, he’d be helping her move past the specter of Suarez in her life. Somehow though, they’d skated right past cathartic and landed in the land of the nervous breakdown. He should have had a fucking map.
Spotting the red can of Folgers coffee, he yanked it off the shelf just as his cell phone rang on the kitchen counter. Glaring at the device as it rang a second time, he glanced toward the den area of the cabin. Harmony was still crying, but the sobs were coming less frequently. She should be okay for the second it would take to get rid of the caller. Snatching the intrusion off the counter, he stabbed a finger against the screen before lifting it to snarl at the caller. “Stone.”
“Well, hello to you, too, Sunshine,” a familiar voice drawled sarcastically, “I’d called to ask how your date went, but I can tell from your tone that there might be trouble in Paradise.”
“Funny, Zeke. Real fuckin’ funny,” Jacob retorted in a low hiss as he cast a cautious look toward the sofa. Harmony hadn’t moved, but wherever her mind had detoured in the last thirty seconds must have sucked because the sobs were starting again. “I don’t have time for this conversation right now,” he mumbled into the phone quickly.
“Why?” the Sheriff questioned suspiciously before cursing. “Is that crying I hear? Is Harmony still with you?”
“Yeah, she’s here and I don’t have time to talk to you about it,” Jacob growled. “I’m a little busy right now.”
“What the fuck did you do, Stone?” Jacob heard Zeke bark at him. It sounded as if there was some interference on the line for a moment before he heard the other man tell someone, “The son of a bitch has Harmony in tears! We’re gonna have to kill him.”
“Wait a second?” Jacob retorted, turning his attention back to the phone. “Who’s there with you? Aren’t you with Honor?”
“I left Honor’s house after I helped get Heaven tucked into bed. I’m at the bar now, asshole, and you’ve got about fifteen minutes before I show up and get Harmony out of there. I swear to God if you’ve done any damage to that woman, I’ll gut you with my bare hands, Stone, and I’ll have help to do it! I’m pretty sure by the look on Abel Turner’s face that he’d help me bury your body where even the buzzards won’t find it!” Zeke yelled at him. “Better yet, I’ll deliver you up to Honor on a silver platter. Any torture I had in mind will be child’s play compared to what she’ll do to you for mistreatin’ her sister.”
“Christ, will you calm down? I can only handle one hysterical woman at a time,” Jacob whispered violently into the phone. “I didn’t do anything to her, Zeke. She took a walk down Memory Lane tonight and it shook her up. That’s all. I’ve got it under control.” He was lying through his teeth, but he’d be damned if he allowed Ezekiel Monroe to take Harmony away from him. He’d handle this one way or another, and fuck the other man if he thought differently.
“If it was under control, we wouldn’t hear her cryin’,” Jacob heard Abel say. “And for the record, I say we bypass Honor and hand him straight to Patience. That woman could remove a man’s jewels with a butter knife and a can-do attitude.”
Jake rubbed his hand against his aching head. “Fuckin’ hell, did you put me on speaker, Zek
e?”
“Hell, yeah, he did,” Abel’s voice retorted.
“Look, I’m making coffee. Either one of you show up here, I swear to God, you’ll leave on a stretcher. Harmony is mine to comfort, so I’d appreciate it if you took your threats and shoved ‘em up your ass. I’ll pour a cup down her throat and get her settled…”
“Are you crazy?” Zeke asked incredulously over the crackling connection. “You don’t give a distraught McKinnon woman caffeine, man. It’s like feeding crack to a spider monkey! She won’t come down off the ceiling for days if you do that.”
“Fuckin’ amateur,” Jake heard Abel mutter disgustedly. “Cookies,” the attorney rapped out.
“What?” Jacob spat as his head began to throb with a drum-solo beat.
“You need cookies for Harmony, Stone. Lots of cookies,” Zeke elaborated, his tone brooking no argument. “Chocolate is best, but peanut butter will do in a pinch.”
“Are you assholes fuckin’ with me right now or are you both drunk? I don’t think a cookie is gonna be the answer to any problem I’m havin’ right now with my woman.” Jacob promised himself that the next time he saw either of these men who were currently agitating the shit out of him, he was gonna plant a fist right between their eyes - especially if this was their version of assistance.
“Are you not listening? The man said cookies. Plural. Jesus, Zeke, if this guy is gonna try to hitch his cart to Harmony’s little red wagon, shouldn’t he at least know his McKinnon trivia? He’s never gonna be able to roll with us if this is any indication of how well he does under pressure,” he heard Abel ask Zeke impatiently.
Hard as Stone (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnnon Sisters) Page 11