Hard as Stone (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnnon Sisters)
Page 19
“Which part?” Jacob asked easily, running his hands over the firm swell of her bottom as he dropped a kiss against the side of her neck.
Uhmmm, all of it,” Harmony breathed, twisting her head to the side to allow his lips better access to his skin. “Let’s start with the pink carpet.”
“Heaven picked it out last week on one of the afternoons I picked her up from daycare. Tuesday, I think. You were working on the Barlow’s anniversary party,” he informed her between gentle nips to the column of her throat. “She was torn between purple and pink. She chose the pink in the end… mostly because it matched all her Barbie’s clothes,” he said as though it were a reasonable argument.
“Jake,” Harmony groaned, placing a hand on his chest and shoving gently. “You don’t put decorating decisions in the hands of a four-year-old girl.”
“First, she’ll be five in a couple of months. Second, why wouldn’t I let her choose? It’s gonna be her room.”
“When she’s here, sure,” Harmony replied, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs. “But when she’s not, you might want to use that room for something else. Are you gonna want to be in that room if it has pink carpeting? The same goes for getting her a dog. It’s all fun and games for her when she’s here, but you are left with the responsibility of an animal at the end of the day.”
Jake’s hands froze in their exploration as he drew back enough to give her a hard look filled with equal parts irritation and displeasure. “You’re completely missing it, aren’t you? I’m not sure if you’re doing it on purpose or not, but I gotta say it’s pissing me way the hell off right now,” he warned, tightening his fingers on her hips before he lifted her body to plant her ass on the kitchen counter, bringing them eye to eye.
Clutching his shoulders as she found her balance, Harmony met Jake’s glare with one of her own. “I’m pissing you off? Why? For pointing out the obvious?”
“For not seeing that I plan for both you and Heaven to be spending a lot of time here once this place is completely furnished. And by a lot, I mean all of it, Harmony,” he growled, bracing a fist on either side of her thighs as he leaned toward her. “I don’t want a part-time relationship. I want a full time partnership. That means I’m going to want you living here.”
Harmony’s eyes widened. “You barely know me. You can’t be suggesting…”
“I know you,” Jacob retorted angrily. “I know what I’m saying scares you. I know the thought of sharing your life with me terrifies the hell out of you. I know you’ve been burned before. That’s why I’ve been moving slow and careful with you, but I’m not getting any younger, Harmony. I want a home. I want a family. And I want those things with you and Heaven.”
Harmony’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You call that slow and careful,” she all but yelped at him, shoving at his broad shoulders as she tried to scoot off the counter. “You’re about as tactful as a whore in Sunday School, Jacob Stone!”
Stepping between her spread legs, Jake held her squirming body still as he fought not to laugh at her theatrics. “Calm down and settle,” he ordered against her temple, holding her firmly against him.
“I could have gotten on board with the pink carpet. I might even have been able to wrap my mind around a puppy. Maybe!” she railed, smacking his arm as she spat each sentence. “But dropping the bomb that you want me and my daughter to move in with you just takes the cake!” Jerking her gaze to him as she heard a low chuckle escape his mouth, she shook her head furiously. “Are you laughin’ at me? Trust me, I don’t find any of this funny, Jake!”
“I’m not laughin’ at you, darlin’. I’m just a little amused at our situation. See, I thought I’d been real clear from the outset about what I wanted. Are you honestly gonna tell me that this is a surprise, babe?” he asked, capturing her frantic eyes with his and holding them. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you didn’t realize that I was in this for the long haul. I told you weeks ago that I was staying in Paradise because of you, Harmony. And in the last month, I’ve gotten as wrapped up in Heaven as I am in her momma. Where the fuck did you think this was going?”
“I don’t know!” Harmony exploded in a burst of temper. Seriously, this is not the conversation she’d seen happening tonight. “Tonight, I’d hoped that it was leading to the bedroom, but I hadn’t thought too far beyond that.” Really, she’d just finally worked up the courage to get intimate with a man again after years of celibacy, and now he wanted more?
“Oh, the bedroom is definitely our destination for the evening, sweetheart,” he agreed with a slow, wicked grin. “But a night stolen here and there isn’t gonna satisfy me, Harmony. I’m a selfish bastard. I want everything you’ve got to give me. Your beautiful body is only part of that. Oh, it’s a gorgeous piece, but I want the heart and mind, too. ”
“Jesus, Jake,” Harmony muttered weakly, her head falling against his shoulder as she sagged against him. “It’s all or nothing with you, isn’t it?”
“Told ya, baby. I’m a selfish bastard,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. “The good news is that I’m your selfish bastard. Yours and Heaven’s. And I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep you both safe and protected and to make sure you never doubt that you’re both loved and wanted.”
“I don’t know anything about you,” she whispered into his neck as her heart did a tap dance in her chest. What Zeke had said earlier in the day resonated in her brain. None of them really knew anything about Jake. She didn’t know if he’d ever been married or if he had any allergies or if he slept on the right or left side of the bed, for God’s sake. How the hell could she even consider living with a man she knew next to nothing about? How could that ever work between them?
He tilted his head for a second, then said, “No, I’ve never been married, I don’t have any allergies that I know about, and I sleep on whichever side is closest to the door.”
Closing her eyes, Harmony grimaced and burrowed her face against the space between his neck and shoulder. His familiar woodsy scent mixed with sweat and man comforted her, relaxing a little of the tension that hand taken up residence in her back. “I said all that out loud?” she asked in a tiny voice.
“You did,” he acknowledged against her ear. “And to answer your last question, this thing will work between us because I won’t let it not work. We’ll find our way a day at a time, darlin’, but we will find it.”
“Jake, I’m not sure…”
“Do you feel safe with me, Harmony?” Jake asked bluntly, cutting off her doubts with a question that cut straight through the bullshit to the heart of the matter. “Tell me. Right here, right now, in this moment, do you feel safe sitting here in my arms?”
Lifting her head to stare into the dark depths of his eyes, Harmony swallowed. Did she trust him? It was a complicated question, but she knew instinctively that Jake wouldn’t see it that way. For him, the answer would involve a simple yes or no.
Nothing was ever that easy for her. Not after the mistakes she’d already made in her life.
Truthfully, yes, in this moment, she did feel entirely safe with him, but she couldn’t deny that there were a lot of unknowns when it came to Jacob Stone. Her parents had taught her and all her sisters to always go with their guts and trust their instincts. She’d ignored that advice once and ended up married to a complete asshole. When she looked back on her life with Tanner, she’d always known he was broken in a way she’d never be able to fix, but she’d ignored those feelings and dove headfirst into a marriage she wasn’t ready to be in. She’d refused to acknowledge those doubts she’d had about him. She’d buried her head in the sand and paid a heavy price for that stupidity.
Now, everything about Jake felt completely right, but she was afraid to trust those feelings, terrified that it would lead her down an ugly path again – only this time, she’d be dragging a completely innocent passenger along the road with her. Did she dare take that chance when both her and her daughter’s hearts were at risk?
&nbs
p; As if he could read her mind, she felt his hand slide against her jaw. “Don’t get us confused, darlin’. I am not the man that hurt you all those years ago. Don’t make me pay for his mistakes. I’m askin’ you, do you feel safe with me?”
“Yes,” she whispered huskily. “I feel safe with you, Jacob. Safer than I’ve ever felt with anybody in my life. But, that scares me.”
“Don’t be scared, Sweetness. It’s good,” he murmured, capturing her lips for a kiss filled with sweet, hot promise. “I want you to let that feeling soak into you because you’re always gonna be safe. You and Heaven. I’m gonna keep you that way. I want you to concentrate on that, Harmony, because it’s a promise from me to you. I know you want answers to questions you haven’t asked yet, and I’ll give them to you. I swear, I’ll answer each one of them in as much detail as you want. Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” she echoed him, tilting her head to the side as she drew back an inch. “Why tomorrow? Why not now?”
“Because tonight is for us. It’s ours. Just you and me with nothing between us. Tomorrow morning, I’ve got some business to handle, but when I get back, you and I can sit down and I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me. Tonight, though, no questions. Tonight, we focus on what we feel, Harmony. And I plan on you feelin’ an awful lot, darlin’. I swear it’ll be good between us. You know that because it’s already good between us,” he promised against her ear, his voice gravelly with his need for her. “I’m gonna love you long and slow. Sweet and so deep, baby, that when it’s over you’ll feel like I’m a permanent part of you. You’re gonna feel so much that all those questions you’ve got won’t matter because all the answers will be in my touch. Now, tell me, can you do that for me? Can you let me answer all those nagging questions you have right now with my mouth and my lips? My hands and my cock? Can you be my patient, sweet girl just a little while longer?” he asked, punctuating each question with tiny, whisper light kisses against her cheek…her chin… her neck. “Can you trust me that much, Harmony?”
Harmony held her breath as his low, deep voice caressed her and his request hung in the air. Then, she took the biggest leap of faith she’d ever taken.
“Yes, Jake. I can do that.”
Chapter Twenty-three
Jacob covered her mouth with his as soon as the words left her lips, groaning deeply as her tongue shyly met his, tentatively stroking and tangling with his in a beautiful dance. “God, you make me happy, darlin’. So sweet and brave even when you’re scared as all fuckin’ hell,” he breathed, cradling one hand against her jaw as he stared into the blue pools of her eyes and pulled her closer to him, her ass balancing on the edge of the counter.
“You won’t hurt me, Jake,” she whispered, smiling shakily back at him. “I mean, I know you’d never hurt me on purpose. People are bound to get hurt eventually when they’re in a relationship, but I trust you not to deliberately put me in pain.”
“Never, baby. I’d never intentionally hurt you. You’d never feel a moment’s pain if I could prevent it. I promise you that,” he vowed, hating himself because he knew that tomorrow, she would hurt. She’d probably feel deceived and betrayed. And that was his fault. No matter how hard he tried to think of a way to spare her the ugly truth, there was no way to avoid giving her pain when he explained the initial reason why he’d come to Paradise. He just hoped like hell that after tonight she wouldn’t doubt that while he might have arrived here in her town planning one thing, she’d changed everything for him. She’d become everything to him.
“You take my breath away when you stare at me like that, all warm and trusting and open. That look fills me with pride and humbles me all at the same time,” he muttered, sliding one hand underneath her bottom to pull her flush against him, her breasts flattening against his chest as his hand tightened on her narrow waist. “Feel what you do to me,” he growled, burying his face against her neck as he rocked his hips against her, rubbing his denim-covered erection against her softness. “I’m so excited that I’m shaking like a teenager here,” he admitted with a chuckle against her throat while her small hands wandered over his tee shirt clad back, her touch easing the tension from his shoulders. “I feel like I’ve waited my entire life for you to walk into it, Harmony. You’re inside my heart now, darlin’. Now that you’re in there, you should know that no matter what happens… no matter how good or how bad it gets, I’m not letting you go.”
“Mmmm,” Harmony hummed against the warm flesh of his shoulder as her fingers crept underneath his shirt to rub the skin just above his jeans.
“Say you understand me, Harmony. Tell me that you know what I’m saying,” Jake demanded, his jaw clenching as he held her gaze.
Lifting a hand to rest it against his whiskered jaw, Harmony nodded. “I understand you, Jake.”
It killed him, but he had to give her one last chance to back away from him. If she went, when this nightmare with her ex-husband and Diego was over, he’d come for her again. But now, at this moment, he knew that in order to live with himself later when things did get bad, he had to give her a shot to walk away from him now. “I don’t give up what’s mine, Harmony,” he said, keeping his deep voice low and steady. “And if you give me that sweet body tonight… if you let me fill you up with everything that’s me, that’s gonna make you mine in a way you can never take back. Fallin’ in love with you has turned out to be one hell of a learning experience for me. I thought that at my age, the time for that had come and gone. I was wrong. Since I arrived in Paradise, I’ve learned a lot of things, but the most important one is that there has never been and will never be any woman that matters to me the way you do, darlin’. I hadn’t even realized that my heart was empty until you and your little girl filled it up with love. Don’t you ever doubt that for a single second. All that bein’ said, eventually, you’ll want to pull away from me. You’ll want to take it all back. I’m not gonna be able to let you do it,” he warned, his hands tightening against her. “So, if you wanna walk away from me… from this, do it now. Because if you stay in my arms another second, I’m never gonna have the strength to let you go.”
“You’re fallin’ in love with me? You can’t be fallin’ in love with me, Jake” Harmony denied, her voice shaking as she tightened her hands on the warm flesh of his hips, her nails scoring the skin. Tears burned her eyes, but she blinked them away quickly and focused on his face.
“Fallin’?” he echoed with a hollow laugh. “No, baby, you’re right, I’m not fallin’. I fell. I love you, Harmony Pearl McKinnon, and nothing in this world or the next is gonna convince me to turn you loose unless you hop out of my arms right now and tell me that you’re not feelin’ even a little of what I’m feeling right now.”
Frozen, Harmony sat in the circle of his arms as her throat worked to form words. “I… you… this…,” she said, fumbling for the words to explain how he made her feel.
“I, you, and this are real, Harmony. All you need to say is that you want it. Say you want me and that you won’t run from me when things get tough. Say you’ll fight for us when things get hard. You do that, and I’ll bust my balls to make sure that you never regret taking that chance on me.”
“I do want what you’re offering, Jake. I wanna try to make this work,” Harmony replied, her voice trembling with emotion. “And I really want to be able to give you the words back,” she whispered as two tears rolled from her dazed blue eyes, “I do, but…”
“I can wait for those words. I can wait as long as I need to wait, Harmony, as long as I have you,” Jake returned, his own voice tight with emotion. “I think all I have ever needed in my life was you, darlin’.”
“Jacob,” Harmony breathed, melting against him as the muscles in his arms tensed as if preparing to do battle.
“You staying or going, baby?” he asked roughly, his gut clenching as he offered her one last opportunity to bolt. “You stay and you know what it means; you know what I’ll expect. You go, I’ll give you some time, but then I’m go
nna come after you again because, God help me, but I can’t stay away.”
Trailing her fingertips up his sides and over the hard wall of his chest until she reached his broad shoulders, Harmony curled hand hands around his neck and met his anxious eyes. The silence was thick between them with the only sound in the room Jacob’s ragged breathing as he waited for her to make her choice. “I’m staying,” she decided with a quiet certainty that no one could question. Not even Jacob.
Jacob’s arms contracted involuntarily, locking around Harmony like steel bands. “Christ, you know how to make a man sweat, woman,” he growled against her lips before his tongue delved deep, plundering the sweet wet cavern of her mouth greedily. Pushing his cock firmly against her covered mound, he felt her moan vibrating through their kiss, her hips undulating desperately against his hard-on. Gripping the hem of her thin tee shirt, Jacob drew back enough growl, “Arms up, Harmony.”
She lifted her arms without complaint, her breasts rising proudly behind the lace cups of her bra as he slipped the material over her head and tossed it carelessly to the floor. “Always so damn beautiful,” he breathed reverently, cupping one lace shrouded globe in his hand and lifting it to press an open-mouthed kiss to the top of her breast. Reaching for the clasp at her back, he loosened the fastener, his eyes glued to the flesh that slowly was exposed to him. He groaned low in his throat as he watched her nipples harden underneath the weight of his gaze. Thumbing one of those plump berries, his lips found the other, tugging it gently between his lips and suckling.