by Cerys du Lys
Heat seared up my spine. “Only because I had to—they were in the way!”
“Details,” he smirked.
My fingers clenched the edge of the table as I stared into his infuriating face. “Why do you do it? Tell me. I bet the boys in the club would love to know about this.”
His eyes slid over mine lazily. “What I do behind closed doors is my business. I’m the VP. I don’t answer to you, or anyone.”
Maybe not for long.
“You’re on Crash’s shitlist, buddy. If the others find out about how you’ve been treating their highest earning associate, you’ll be gone.”
For the first time during the visit, Cain looked pissed. His eyebrows narrowed and his pupils almost disappeared.
“Is that a threat?”
“He’s already talking about replacing you.” My voice lowered as he curled his lips into a snarl. “I don’t want that to happen, but you need to let her go. It’s not right.”
A wide grin spread over his pale face, making deep dimples. “Over my dead body,” he said in an even lower voice.
His eyes zeroed in on me, stabbing me. “You think I don’t see the way you look at her? Julia is mine.”
I recoiled. “The way I look at her? Any red-blooded male is going to look at her, bub. Stop acting like an asshole. She’s not your possession.”
“Yes, she is. And if she wants to leave, she can tell me herself.” His arms folded across his chest.
Fuck.
“Don’t push away the few friends you have, Cain.” His grey eyes stared defiantly at me.
I hoped he would come to his senses before he got out of jail, but from the way he was looking at me—I would be lucky to make it out of this alive. She did not want to be with him; Julia made that abundantly clear to me.
“Tell Crash that if he plans on replacing me, he better watch his back.”
My palms were moist. “You grew up with him. He took you in.”
The abyss looked back at me. “Nostalgia makes me nauseas.”
Maybe I’ve made things worse.
“If you’re seriously telling me that I should pass on your threats to Crash—”
“He owes me for everything I’ve done for the club.”
“Then get your shit together. Stop being a fucking junkie and he won’t have any reason to want you out.”
He didn’t say anything; he just glowered like a sulky teenager. I knew better. The way he spoke about Crash, it was like he hadn’t spent the last fifteen years with the man. There was no loyalty. And what about Julia?
She had no idea that I would confront Cain.
Julia is going to be pissed when she finds out.
As I walked out of there, I felt the need to look over my shoulder to watch Cain. An image of him sneaking up behind me and wrapping his chains around my neck made my spine tingle. I didn’t think I would ever trust him again.
* * *
Having errands to run, I left jail quickly and returned to the club. The meeting with Cain could not have been worse. As usual, the bastard was determined to find an ulterior fucking motive with everything that I did.
Yes, but you wouldn’t mind if Julia became your old lady.
I wasn’t motivated by my own selfish interests. I wanted to help her leave him, if that’s what she wanted. And she did want it. Was it so horrible that I felt the tiniest bit of glee?
Yes.
Blonde hair and black leather appeared in front of my vision as I entered the club. My chest squeezed. Julia grabbed my arm in greeting, flashing me a bright smile.
“Hey.” I bit my lip to stop myself from calling her gorgeous.
I walked past her and spotted Crash tucked in a booth with Max. Piles of cash sat on the table while Max whispered under his breath, counting.
“Forty-five, ten, fifty,” I said loudly as I approached the table.
Max shushed me but I continued to let out a stream of numbers, breaking his concentration.
“Fuck, Spike!” He threw down the pile he was counting.
I grinned and even Crash offered me a tiny smirk as I sat down beside him.
“Max, go ahead and take a break.”
“You are such a pain in my ass,” the old man barked.
“Oh, Max. I know you love me. You can’t deny it.”
Crash hid his smile under his cigar as Max sulked away.
“How was the visit with Cain?”
Shitty.
Any hint of mirth must have melted from my face. I don’t want to fuck him over.
“It went bad. He’s not happy.”
“I would be surprised if it went any other way.”
Energy boiled inside me as I fidgeted with the money on the table. If I told Crash what his Vice President said about him, Cain would never see the light of day. I hoped that Cain was just being rash, that he didn’t mean it.
“What if he gets off the juice?”
“Cain was pushing boundaries long before he got hooked on Red.” He tapped his pencil on the table, his eyes searching my face. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Spike.”
I stole myself. “There’s something else. He’s been abusing Julia.”
“So?”
Crash’s flattened voice disgusted me. “Look, I know you don’t have much respect for her, but the guys do. And I’m not sure if I want to be in this chapter if beating on women is given a free pass.”
He looked somewhat abashed, but his lips thinned.
Something inside me died as I watched his unyielding gaze. Appeal to his sense of greed.
“She’s a good earner, Crash.”
His eyes flashed to me, almost guiltily. “I know, but he needs an outlet. He’s never kept one for so long.”
My interest piqued.
“One what?” I felt like I was falling. That horrible, falling feeling in dreams seized my guts. “One what, Crash?”
The old man’s lips trembled as he fought to find the words. “A person to play around with. He breaks them and then he throws them away. I always gave him members from other clubs, you know, people who had to go anyways.”
My head slipped between my hands and I let out a sudden, harsh laugh. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
I thought of the blonde man I once looked up to, admiring his quiet strength. He was never quick to rage or indecisive. He had none of those attributes associated with lesser men. I never thought that he was crazy. Hell, he was always so rational!
“I always encouraged it. It was the only way to keep him in line. He has to satisfy that craving—or else he gets out of control.”
I looked at Crash as if seeing him for the first time. He looked at me with pinched, worried eyes, then sharply down, thumbing his lip like a boy who knew he had done wrong.
“Thank God you never took me in. I was better off being kicked and punched by foster parents than living with you.”
He held out a shaking hand. “I know—I know I’ve done wrong. I should have just put him down years ago, when he was easier to handle.”
“Put him down?” I said in outrage. “How about sending him to a goddamn therapist? You made him into a monster.”
He gave me a sharp look. “He was already like that. When I found him, he was dousing cats and dogs with gasoline and lighting them on fire and leaving their heads on people’s properties.”
When I was little, I had a dog. Torturing him would have never crossed my mind as a possible, fun pastime. I wanted to throw up.
This is the man I’ve been rubbing shoulders with for months? I thought that, at worst, he had a sexual fetish that went a little bit too far.
Without realizing it, I stood from my seat. Julia. She tried to tell me so many times.
“Fuck!” I raked my hair with my fingers, mussing it up. “I can’t deal with this right now, I have other shit to do.”
I stormed away from Crash’s table, the others balking at the look on my face. My eyes rolled over Cain’s minions: Pike and River. I would probably never trust
those two, but it was time to show them who was the fucking boss.
“You two! Come with me,” I snarled.
Confused, the bikers followed me outside. “The Tigers have been hanging on distribution for way too long, it’s time we found out some information.”
* * *
Sweat and blood saturated the air, making my stomach turn. A thick drop of blood trickled slowly down his face like molasses, and a strange compulsion came over me. I wanted to wipe his face.
I tightened my bruised fists as Pike and River paced around the man slouched in the chair like hungry vultures. They were just like Cain—eager for violence. It didn’t matter why.
“You’re a tough son of a bitch,” I said to the man, hoping that the beating hadn’t punctured his eardrums, “just tell us where you get the Red and when, and I’ll stop.”
He looked at me from his one good eye—the other was swollen shut. “Fuck you.”
I sighed. Almost lazily, I cracked my fist against the side of his skull. Several of his teeth flew out. My hand was starting to hurt with a dull, aching pain, but I really didn’t want to break out the fucking lead pipes. His head ripped back as blood drooled from his lips.
“One tough Tiger.”
Pike kicked the leg of his chair to vent his frustration. I wouldn’t allow him to give the beatings.
“We know where your family lives—your eight year old daughter.”
I almost rolled my eyes. I had no intention of knocking on his family’s door, but if the threat got him to talk, all the better.
The Tiger bought it. Blood dripped from his lips silently as he looked from Pike to me, pleading. He suddenly hissed in pain and a solitary tear slipped down his dirty, broken face.
“Please don’t.”
I shrugged off the man’s despair, his anguish surrounding me like a tight, coarse blanket. “Tell us what we want to know and we won’t have to.”
“If I tell you, my President will kill me.”
Again, my shoulders lifted and fell. “That’s not my fucking problem. Take your kid and leave town.”
His reddened face shook slightly as he glared at me.
“You—!” his scream of rage was cut off by a cry of pain. Pike leaned over and sank his fist into his stomach.
Pike’s eyes flashed when he saw me launch towards him. I grabbed the scruff of his neck and slammed him into the wall, his head bouncing on the plaster.
“What the fuck?”
“If you’re too stupid to follow orders, I have no fucking use for you. Get. Out.”
I let him go and stepped back, just daring him with my eyes to attack me.
Give me a fucking reason.
He dusted himself off and kicked a stray beer bottle as he left the room. River watched the exchange with a disapproving frown on his face. I eye-fucked him.
Like I give a shit what you think.
“Well? Are you going to tell us, or do I have to start breaking kneecaps?”
The man’s face pinched and squinted, as if he was fighting back tears. He dropped into his hands and his back shook. Tears ran from the cracks in his fingers.
My chest tightened and I wished I were anywhere but here. “Just fucking tell me already!”
He opened his broken mouth, answering the floor. “Two a.m. Docks. Every Thursday. There’s a—a signal.”
“See? Was that so hard?” I nodded to River, who swept past at once.
From the tears still falling onto his lap, I could tell that it was the truth. I swallowed hard and left that small shack, the man’s pleas still ringing in my ears.
“We’ve got the location,” I said to Pike, who sulked by his bike.
“What if he’s lying?” he sneered.
The asshole was being an insolent little shit. I could smash his fucking face in. “Then we’ll find him.”
“Or we could go to his house and pick up his kid.”
My blood ran cold.
“We don’t go after families, you sick fuck.” I stared him down. “If you lay a hand on that kid, I’ll kill you. Understood?”
He was mute.
I bellowed in his face. “Are you deaf?”
“I understand.”
My rage, burning hot, cooled like a forging sword plunged into ice-cold water. “Good.”
Pike’s face twisted with the words he wished he could hurl at me. I jumped back on my bike, glad to see that even if they didn’t fear me, they now respected me.
JULIA
It was nearly five and I couldn’t keep the butterflies still.
Spike was coming for dinner. I leaned over the sink and carefully applied my lipstick for the third time. I kept biting my lip from nerves and ruining it. I brushed my blonde waves, which sat on my bare shoulders. I hadn’t even picked out clothes yet.
Smacking my lips, I returned to the bedroom and opened the closet door, my heart hammering at the sight of Cain’s clothing hanging in the darkness like ghosts waiting for his return.
He’s going to come back.
Whatever I told Spike; I still felt a chill like a cold finger running down my spine whenever I thought of Cain’s return. My heart beat faster and faster and then I tore the house apart to find the coke, because nothing else would quiet my jangling nerves. I didn’t want to die.
I shoved the clothes to the side and found mine. I didn’t want to look like I was trying to be sexy, but God, I wanted him. I wanted his hands on my body, his lips on my face, even if it couldn’t last.
For fuck’s sake, if I could only have him once, it’d be worth the risk. I finally felt like one of those giddy, idiotic women I saw all the time in Los Angeles with their boyfriends.
I pulled on a soft pink blouse and jeans. This isn’t a date, I reminded myself as I carefully rolled on my mascara. This isn’t—
A soft pair of knocks at the door sent an electrical shock through my heart. I almost threw the makeup behind the mirror over the sink. Then I took a couple deep breaths and stared at my reflection until I looked a bit calmer. Reining myself in, I walked over the gleaming floors and grabbed the door’s handle.
He waited behind the door, dressed in dark jeans and leather, as always. A confident smile twitched on his face and it widened when he saw me.
“Hi.” I took the plastic container he handed me, which held a small cake big enough for the both of us. “Thanks, Spike. You didn’t have to get anything.”
Was it me, or did his smile look strained?
“It was no problem.”
His shoulder muscles rippled as he slid his jacket from his arms and hung it on the wall. He looked just like a normal guy without it.
It was several seconds before I realized I was still standing there like an idiot, grinning like a fool. He didn’t seem perturbed by it. Spike looked positively cheerful. That’s what I liked about him. He always lifted my spirits, no matter what.
I wasn’t normally like this around men. They got nervous around me, not the other way around.
“I’m sorry, I’m not usually like this,” I said as I shoved the dessert into the fridge. I stared into the white interior of the fridge, hoping the coolness would relieve my burning cheeks.
“I know,” Spike said in an amused voice. Heavy footsteps told me he was right behind me. “Is it because I’m here?”
He leaned against the kitchen island, regarding me with a cocked head.
“Maybe.”
“It is, isn’t it?” He crossed his arms and grinned wider, loving every moment of my embarrassment. “Well, well, well. Turns out that the world-famous hustler has a weak spot after all.”
Ass.
My face probably glowed. “No, I don’t. I make my living hustling guys like you.”
The gaze in his eyes was hot and somewhat forbidding. “I am not like the guys you hustle.”
I smiled, ready to talk back, but something in his gaze told me not to.
“No, you’re not,” I admitted. “Maybe that makes me nervous.”
My h
eart jumped when he took my hand and brought me closer to him. Every sound in the kitchen was amplified, the simmering vegetables, the sound of my shoes clipping on the tiles, and I suddenly wished there was music.
“Why? ‘Cause you’re not in control for once?”
He held my shoulders and that alone was enough to rob me of breath.
“Are you kidding me? I’m never in control. I can’t remember the last time I chose something for myself.” I sucked in breath when he squeezed my shoulders. He was all around me—all encompassing and intoxicating. “When I’m around you, all bets are off. I can’t hide my feelings and that scares the shit out of me.”
“I have an idea that’ll make it better.”
The frantic pace of my heart was painful. I could feel every finger on my shoulders. They moved in a circular pattern, rising over my bones and falling to gently massage the thick pad of muscle.
I couldn’t think. “Yeah?”
He lowered his head as his fingers moved across my shoulders, sweeping up to my neck to hold me still as his lips fell on mine. He kissed my parted lips as I let out a small gasp. His lips were so soft against mine, a stark contrast to his rugged exterior. His kiss was a gentle caress on my lips and I leaned into him as a moan escaped my mouth.
I wanted this for so long.
The world shrank away. Even the kitchen disappeared, along with all of its noises. I was only aware of his body, his hands still wrapped around my neck, his fingers digging into the back of my head. My skin was hypersensitive to every gentle caress. His thumbs swept up and stroked my jaw, making my whole body shudder.
Then he pulled away, looking flushed and excited. He still held my face, his brown eyes searching me. My heartbeat was obscenely loud.
“Feel better?”
Oddly enough, I did. I felt that my chest would burst with the joy of being so close to him and the nervousness melted away. Why did he do it? What happened to brotherhood and honor?
“Why did you—how?”
He smiled, somehow knowing the question I couldn’t quite ask. “I don’t feel guilty anymore. He’s not right for you. He’s not right for anyone.”
“I only told you a thousand times.”