by Amy Miles
“Aye. I’ll go, only so I know you’ll be safe, but I won’t leave you without something to remember me by.”
I reached out to her then and pulled her lips against mine again. Our mouths pressed together as though they were drawing their last breath. How am I going to be able to let her go when we’re so emotionally connected?
That was when a thought hit me at the most inopportune time. It forced me to break our kiss earlier than I desired.
“What about Alana?” I said, remembering. “I saw her. Here! Dancing with Aed,” I added to see Taryn’s expression.
If she felt anything about their pairing she didn’t let me see it. “Alana’s situation is a unique one. I still don’t know what happened. Her ship never made it to the Isle of Glass. It was attacked by lorcan.”
“Lorcan? Can they attack a person who is already dead?”
“They can. They feed on the souls of the dead, but she should have been safe on the water. They don’t go near it…but they attacked her ship. They swam to it. They took every soul aboard, except for your sister. She was the lone survivor.”
She watched my eyes as I took in the horror of this news. I knew they were evil beings, but this brought them to a whole new level.
“Devlin, the lorcan have learnt how to absorb souls from the livin’ and the dead. That’s yet another reason that it’s not safe for you and Seamus to be here. If you were to cross paths with one of them…you would be helpless to defend yourself. There is a war brewin’ in Netherworld. The lorcan are formin’ an uprisin’. I can’t risk you bein’ here when they finally breach the only wall holdin’ them back.”
“So I’m supposed to go back to Moneyglass, knowing not only that you are going to marry someone you don’t love, but I also have to endure knowing that you will find a way to be on the front lines of this war?” I knew Taryn well enough to know she would not miss an opportunity to take down the lorcan, princess or not.
She shook her head. “Aed will probably lock me in the dungeons before he lets me close to another lorcan.”
I could tell she was saying that only to appease me.
“As for Alana, I’ll find a way to get her back to the Isle of Glass and then her transition will be complete.” She took my hands. “She’ll be okay, Devlin. She’s my assigned soul. I won’t abandon her. I’ll keep her safe.”
I leaned in and kissed her forehead, closing my eyes to mask the pain of leaving her.
“I know you will.” I pulled her back to look her in the eyes. “I know this is a lot to ask, but is it possible for me to see her? Just once before I go?”
Taryn considered my question and likely all the ramifications that might bring.
“It probably isn’t wise while she’s here with the king, but leave me the address where you’re stayin’ and I’ll make sure Alana finds ya there tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Taryn.” She smiled at me and then crossed her arms over herself like she was holding herself upright.
“Ya best be goin’ now.” Her voice was shaking. Neither of us wanted to let the other go.
I nodded once, choking back emotion. “I’ll see you again, Taryn. This isn’t the end of us. It can’t be. It’s only the beginning. We were meant to be together. I know you feel it too.”
Her lips quivered, as I pulled her in for one last kiss. I didn’t know how I was going to make it happen, but Taryn and I were going to be together. Fate kept bringing us back together. There had to be a reason for it.
Chapter 15
Taryn
A literal pain echoed through my chest at the thought of how terrible and wonderful this was. Devlin was here, which made me feel alive and hopeful again, but I was also crushed by the reality of my fate with Aed that I’d hoped to spare him from. I wasn’t free to let myself think about his lips, his touch, or the way he looked in that damn reaper outfit. He wasn’t mine. And I shouldn’t think of him in that way.
But I do. Oh, gods, do I.
Even though I’d spent months dreaming of him, longing to have a few more moments with him, I was suddenly terrified at that idea. His being here upset what little balance I’d found in my life. He threatened everything and yet, there was no part of me that could ask him to leave.
I just wasn’t that strong.
Seeing Devlin again felt like a dream, one that could slip through my fingers like a mist. His kiss was real, though. It had to be. I’d spent so long dreaming of him. Having him here still felt unreal.
The days we’d spent apart had melted away when I was in his arms. Nestled in his embrace, the world felt right again. As if a balance had finally been created between the pieces of my soul and everything could be okay. I hadn’t cared that Aed stood there gawking at us as we kissed, but I should have. Nor did I care that my time with Devlin would be fleeting. All that mattered was that moment.
“Keep it together, ya daft fool,” I scolded myself. “You canna go and lose your mind over Devlin now. Not with so many eyes watchin’.”
Oh, what joy Queen Morrigan would take in discovering the web of lies so precariously built around us. I vowed the queen would never find out about him. If she hurt Devlin, not even the king’s wrath against all I held dear would keep me from my revenge.
I turned to the basin and splashed my face. The cool water helped to ease the fire raging within.
“What the hell am I gonna do now?” I asked the empty room, trying to push aside thoughts of watching Devlin walk away moments ago. “I canna let him go. Not after we’ve been forced apart for so long. Not now that I know…”
My knees still felt weak at the suffocating weight of my need for Devlin. It went beyond curiosity of infatuation and had struck me with such a reckless intensity the instant I caught sight of him. The human saying ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone’ rang all too true.
My heart hammered against my ribs.
“By the gods…I think I love ’im,” I whispered.
Kissing Devlin had made time stop, even if only for a moment, but it had been a blissful eternity. One I wished I could linger in.
Aed clearing his throat behind me made me jump.
“I should ’ave known you’d be back,” I said.
“Aye. I needed to know that you were all right.”
“I am.” I turned to meet his gaze. There was a wariness there that was odd for him. He’d always been so direct. “About that kiss with Devlin…”
He shook his head and sighed. “It’s not as if you hid your feelings for him from me all this time, Taryn. You care for him. I know that.”
That may have been true, but now that I’d let the rush of emotions sizzle out enough to think clearly, I also knew I didn’t want to hurt him. I cared about Aed, but seeing Devlin again revealed I didn’t care as much about him as a woman should. I doubted I ever would.
“I know what I feel for Devlin is wrong, but I canna help it. I’ve tried for so long to tell myself it was nothin’. A foolish whim that went too far. After seein’ him again, I know it’s more than that now. Somethin’ pulled us together. I have to believe it happened for a reason.”
“Love between a banshee and a human is forbidden,” he reminded me.
“Aye.” I nodded. “But when ’ave I ever been good at followin’ the rules?”
Aed smiled. “That’s my girl.”
We fell silent as the weight of his statement fell over us. I wasn’t his girl. Not in the way I should have been. But he did hold a claim on me. One I couldn’t turn my back on.
“I will marry ya, Aed, as I promised, despite what I feel for Devlin, because it’s the only way to save this kingdom from your blasted father. But we both know there’s no love between us.”
Lines appeared around his eyes as he nodded. “Aye. I know that well enough now. That kiss we shared…it was bloody awful.”
Reaching out, I placed a hand on his arm as I laughed. “It was. And I’ll thank ya to not be tryin’ that again. Just because we dunna love each other, doesn’
t mean I’ll be unfaithful to ya.”
He nodded. I knew he’d be the same with me. “And what about Devlin?”
It hurt my heart to think of saying goodbye to him. I couldn’t fathom how I would ever be able to turn my back on him and embrace Aed in my bed. An heir would be demanded. We both knew that. But I also knew there was no life where Devlin and I could be together. He was a human. Such a thing was not possible.
“I will always care for him, but he belongs in Moneyglass. My place is here.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell Aed I loved Devlin. It felt cruel to speak the words. A cruelty I refused to ever use against him. “But I have a duty, to you and to my family. I dunna take that lightly.”
Aed breathed out slowly. “And what if I want more than that?”
It was my turn to cock an eyebrow. For a second, I was confused, wondering if the final girl here in Odran, Betha, had actually captured Aed’s attention. I knew the snake, Hadley, wasn’t the right girl for him. Sure, she had the physical appeal, but her shady morals would never suit his needs.
And then it hit me.
“Alana,” I whispered.
He lowered his gaze. “I didn’t mean to take notice of her, Taryn. You have to believe me. I am as committed to our partnership as you are.”
I took his hand in mine and laced my fingers through his. “Ya canna pick who you will love, Aed.”
“Love?” He seemed almost shocked by the term. “How can I love someone I’ve just met?”
I smiled. “Because sometimes that’s all it takes for two souls to connect.”
He stared at me for a moment before a smile softened his expression. “You’re not the jealous sort, are you?”
“No.” I laughed and pulled my hand away. “Not when it comes to the Gallaghers, apparently.”
Aed leaned back against a long wooden food preparation table and crossed his arms over his chest. “What a pair we make, eh? Both falling for people we can’t have.”
“Aye.” I moved to stand beside him. “I guess that’s our lot in life.”
We stood, shoulder to shoulder, in silence for several moments. The only sounds that came from the manor house were the winds breaking against the stone. Everyone was asleep. Devlin would be on his way back to the inn. The idea of Devlin returning to Seamus and Tris made me want to run after him, but I knew there would be time for that later. Devlin would be back for me. I hoped I’d get a chance to tell him how much he meant to me before he left.
Maybe that was all wrong, though. Could I dump the love word in Devlin’s lap and then kick him out of my life?
Ugh. Why the bloody hell is this so complicated?
“What do we do now?” I whispered and dropped my head onto his shoulder.
The kiss we’d shared earlier in the night and the realization that we were not drawn to each other had removed any expectations or anxiety between us. We understood each other. We both ached for the loss we both felt and the duties we knew we had to perform for the betterment of our people. A new bond was forged, one of acceptance, but also of deep friendship. This was the relationship I knew we could embrace in the years to come.
No matter what came our way, Aed would protect me, as I would him. The pressure of being a couple no longer existed between us. In its place stood understanding and a less confusing level of respect. And yes, even love.
I did love Aed, but not in the way my heart needed me to. Devlin had already claimed that part of me, as I suspected Alana had done for Aed. I was happy for them but also heartbroken that, he too, would have to say goodbye. At least, in that grief, he and I would draw closer together.
“We do what we must for our people,” he replied. I could see he was struggling with his own emotion, and I allowed him the time it took to rein it in. “I have always known we would be good together. And good we will be. Damn my mother and her schemes to keep us apart. I will not allow it. Nothing could make me agree to her demands.”
“Nothing?” I questioned.
“I will have you for my wife, Taryn.” He turned to face me, taking my hands in his, and then lifted each to his lips. “Together we can bring balance back to the Hallowed Realms. We can end this blasted war with the lorcan and restore peace.”
“And what fate will Alana and Devlin face?”
A pained look stole away his confident smile. “Devlin is a human who has not crossed over by normal means. He is alive, Taryn. He must return there. The law would never allow him to remain here.”
“Doesn’t the king make the rules?” I said.
He sighed. “I know where your heart is leading your mind, but it can’t happen. By the time I’m king, Devlin will be dead and will have made his own journey to the Isle of Glass…”
I squeezed his hand as he trailed off at what the Isle of Glass reminded him of. Alana’s final destination.
“And I know where your heart is leadin’ ya now. Alana will still be close, only a boat ride away, but it’s a one-way trip. The enchantments placed by the oracle to guard the gates of the Isle of Glass are said to erase all past memory, includin’ those about us.” I placed a hand over his heart. “She wouldn’t remember ya, Aed. And if ya walked through those gates with her, you would lose everything. Not just yourself, but all feelings of love for Alana.”
He closed his eyes to the truth he already knew. “I know how the Isle of Glass works.”
“Then ya know we ’ave no choice,” I whispered. Silent tears welled in my eyes. “The kindest thing we can do is to say our goodbyes.”
The arms he wrapped around me held tight, clinging to me as I watched this new felt despair roll over him. I’d had time to prepare for this truth, but even still it was overwhelming. I couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Aed with his emotions so new and fresh. After all these years, he’d finally found a woman worthy of his love, and she was being taken from him.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I rested my head on his chest.
“Me too,” he said as he held me. “Me too.”
Chapter 16
Aed
Sleep did not find me until just before the sun rose on the horizon. I wrestled with the sheets most of the night, knowing what pain today would bring. In the long, lonely hours, I struggled to prepare the necessary words.
Taryn was right. I couldn’t lead Alana on. Or make her hope for the potential of something more, only to steal that from her. It didn’t matter that she would forget me the moment she crossed through the gates of the Isle of Glass. I would know I drew out what little time we had remaining for selfish purposes. How I wish I could. Even if it was only to have the memory of her touch stay with me once she was gone.
Rather than focusing on goodbye, I focused my efforts on how to get her to the Isle of Glass. It was easier to detach from emotions that way. Though Odran was a seaport, it was not equipped with ships capable of making the treacherous crossing. These boats hugged the shoreline instead, carrying precious cargo to the lands.
Rising in bed, I shoved back the covers and carved my hands through my hair. “There’s no way around it. She has to return to the Transition Centre. From there she can join a new boat bound for the Isle of Glass.”
And I’ll never see her again.
How could I make such a journey happen? I would never send her south on the roads without a guard, and there was no one left to spare. I knew Eivin would be the right man for the job, but he would never leave his post here. Especially not with Taryn’s increasing connection to the hybrid leader as a source of very real concern. Whoever, or rather whatever, that beast was, it had paid far too much attention to Taryn for my liking.
Along with Taryn’s connection with the hybrid lorcan leader, more breaches appeared on the Wall. Even as I sat here, more of those filthy beasts could be spilling into our lands. Time was running short. Not even my man, Cashel, could be spared to see to Alana’s safety. What few men Eivin could round up in the town were needed to guard against the breaches.
“There’s nothing for it,�
�� I said to the empty room. “She will have to join our party.”
Even as I said it aloud, I knew that task would prove challenging. My mother and father may not have ripped her out of my arms last night during the ball, but their displeasure had been made known to all. They were not likely to forget her face so soon.
Scratching my chin, I pondered how to make this work. I’d spent years leading men into battle, trained to run a kingdom, but blast it all if I knew how to keep one girl safe.
“It’s because she’s not just some girl.” I groaned and pushed to my feet.
On any other day, I would have been required to rush through my morning preparations. Not today. The majority of the household would be slow moving this morning. Many barrels of wine lay empty from the evening’s festivities. I’d had my fair share as well. Most of that came after my conversation with Taryn, though.
In the quiet of early morning, I strategized, trying to determine when the next wave of attacks might come. I poured over the assignment sheet. Detailing the post allotments for those men I knew I was most likely sending to their deaths was arduous. A heavy burden settled into my heart as I looked over the names of common men. Many without so much as a week’s training with a sword. Never before had there been a need. These were seafaring men. Not soldiers. But if my father would not send for help, I had to do something.
Not long after the bells tolled the midmorning hour’s arrival, I took to the path to the gardens to clear my mind. I nodded in greeting to a few of Betha’s friends returning from a walk. It was only my polite upbringing that reminded me to do it at the last moment. I couldn’t remember any of their names. Nor did I care to try. Thankfully, they just giggled behind their hands and moved along.
I rolled my eyes at their giddiness. Did girls never outgrow that? I supposed not. At least not in the face of meeting a royal. We were rarely seen in these parts. The mystery of my grand life must seem so appealing to them. If only they knew the truth.