by Claire Adams
“You’re telling me that you weren’t aware that he was asked to leave this complex almost a month ago after he destroyed the apartment right next door to yours?”
“I told her my lease was up,” lied Sawyer. “I didn’t tell her about any—”
“Sawyer, I can speak for myself, thank you,” I interrupted.
I cleared my throat, trying to remain calm. “I knew what kind of a neighbor he was, but he asked me to help him, so I did. I see now that it was a mistake.”
Sawyer only had eyes for me. I wasn’t sure about anything, but I felt like I could trust him. He had yet to lead me astray thus far, and even though he was in handcuffs, my gut had deduced that something took place between him and Jared. I didn’t want to ask many questions or give the landlord any fodder, so I kept my questions to myself.
The landlord glared at me with suspicion and malice in his eyes. “Hmm. He’s not allowed back on this property. If I catch him here again, I’m going to make sure you both leave here in handcuffs, you understand?”
I nodded. The landlord stomped out angrily. He was followed by the police officers as they escorted Sawyer out.
Sawyer turned his head as much as he could to face me. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Hannah.”
I watched them leave, then went to the window and watched until the squad cars pulled out of their parking spots and sped off into the oncoming snowstorm that was beginning. I wasn’t sure, but I felt like Sawyer had looked up to the second floor as he was being put into the back of the car.
I looked down the hall, realizing that answers were potentially only a few doors down. I knew nothing for sure, and yet, I knew that Jared was responsible for whatever just transpired. My disgust for him overrode my confusion and anger, so I decided to retreat into my apartment and think about my options.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sawyer
I was booked for physical assault against Jared: the stalking, spineless shit-stain who cried to the Dane County Sheriff’s Department after I defended myself against his attack last Thursday. I continually insisted to the officers, as they drove me to station, that I was acting in self-defense, and I explained to them what happened during our altercation. They said nothing to me.
I had never been arrested before, although I knew others who had. I wasn’t nervous or scared because I knew I was in the right. I wasn’t sure if being in the right was going to save me from the law, but my conscience was clear.
They kept me in lockup for only an hour, since it was a slow Friday for them. Then, they moved me into a holding room, where I only sat for a few minutes before an officer and a man in a suit entered the room, holding a file folder with only a few sheets of paper inside. They both sat down across from me and looked me over.
“I’m Detective Bradford,” said the man in the suit. “How are you?”
I said nothing.
“Mr. Smith, you admit to attacking Mr. Sabin in a Big Lot’s parking lot this last Thursday?” Bradford continued.
“In self-defense, yes,” I said.
“Wanna walk us through what happened?” Bradford asked.
“I was driving home from work,” I said. “Jared was following me through town, riding my ass. I pulled in the parking lot because I couldn’t tell who it was while I was driving. He threatened me, and when I told him to leave me—and my roommate—alone, he pulled out a Taser and attacked me. I only hit him so he wouldn’t electrocute me.”
“Mr. Sabin said nothing about a Taser,” said Bradford.
“Of course he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t want to get himself into trouble,” I explained.
“Now,” said Bradford. “Saying the boy had a Taser is quite a claim to make. And you say he attacked you, yet… you don’t have a scratch on ya’. Hell, you look prettier than me, and I haven’t gotten in a fight in almost five years.”
I was desperately hoping I could make a phone call to Hannah.
“Jared, on the other hand, is beaten, bruised, scarred… pain etched into his physical features,” he proceeded. “You beat him bad, son. If there’s a Taser, where is it?”
“Hannah’s… guest room,” I said. “With my belongings.”
Bradford formed a deliciously sadistic grin on his face. It was slightly intimidating.
“Tell me about your time with Hannah,” he said. “You were living in the apartment just adjacent to hers, right? Before you got evicted.”
“That’s correct.”
“How did it work?” he asked. “When you were told you had to leave the property, what was it that made you ask your next-door neighbor if you could room with her?”
I was using every ounce of my strength to keep my poker face stoically in place.
“Convenience,” I answered.
“It would have been easy to keep your move on the down-low because all you had to do was move your stuff over a few feet,” Bradford added. “And you lived close by; maybe you saw that she was single—”
“I didn’t know she was single; that had nothing to do with it,” I interrupted.
“Okay, Sawyer, okay,” he said, slightly flustered. “But, you were aware that Hannah and Jared were in a… ‘romantic’ relationship as recently as a few days before you started knocking on her door.” It sounded like a question, but I knew he must have heard an assortment of things from Jared, both true and false. I didn’t know what he knew, so I played along as best as I could.
“I knew that, yeah,” I said. “He was bothering Hannah a couple weeks back. I had to go and have a talk with him.”
“Define ‘bothering,’” he said.
“Upsetting her, texting her really hateful shit,” I recalled. “Creeping by the window… And the things he said about her in the Big Lot’s parking lot… He’s not a good dude. I really believe a guy like that might hurt a girl like Hannah. And I don’t mean the upsetting kind; I’m talking he’d do worse to her than what I did to him. I didn’t beat Jared—you think that’s a beating?”
I took a breath, instantly calming down the boiling anger that was rapidly pouring out of me with every word.
“It’s funny to hear you talking about abhorrence to violence,” said Bradford. “Because, yes. I do think what you did to that kid was a beating.”
“He’s no kid, detective,” I said. “With all due respect, he’s my age. We’re both adults. He knows what he’s doing. He lied to you.”
“Lied how?”
“He did attack me first; I acted in self-defense,” I insisted. “Sir, he had a Taser on him… I merely approached him; I wasn’t going to hit him. He took it out and tried to use it on me, and I believe that if he got me with it, he would have abused it. I was surviving a physical assault. I didn’t assault him; I defended myself.”
“So, explain why you have his Taser,” he said. “Are you claiming that after you beat him, you stole his Taser?”
“I’d look at it more like I was disarming a dangerous person from harming others with something like a Taser,” I responded. “Specifically, my roommate.”
“Hannah,” Bradford said.
“Yes.”
“Jared doesn’t have a license to carry that weapon, so I’m wondering how he would have come to obtain one…”
“Don’t they have serial numbers and stuff you can look up?” I wondered.
“They certainly do,” he said. “You seem to know a lot about Tasers yourself, Sawyer. You sure you didn’t just beat this guy up because he used to date the girl you’re screwing now?”
I was surprised to hear those words come out of a badge’s mouth.
“I beg your pardon, detective?”
“Now, I apologize,” he said. “Sometimes I can be a bit candid. Permit me, you were not just evicted; you were banished from the property. You were ordered never to set foot in that complex after your forty-eight-hour notice, and you insult the owners and managers of the complex further by just going next door, staying as close to your former residence as possible, going beyond disregarding
what you were told.”
“I’m sorry, but the way I see it, I was treated unfairly,” I said. “My old roommate is the one who got out of control. I wasn’t even around when the place was destroyed. I don’t think I should have had to leave because I was willing to pay to fix things.”
“That doesn’t matter,” said Bradford. “What does matter is that your girlfriend now faces eviction, very much like yourself, for letting you stay as long as she did.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Glad we have that on the record,” he said rolling his eyes. “You were told to never return to the property, and by you staying with Ms. Stone, you allowed her to break multiple guidelines in her lease agreement. You fucked her bad, Sawyer.”
My heart sank. I knew defeat was beginning to replace my confidence.
“We’ll check about your Taser,” said Bradford. “Other than that, I have to tell you again, it doesn’t look good, Sawyer. Jared seems a bit more convincing than you.”
“I think I’m done talking now,” I sneered. “What’s next?”
Bradford’s brow furrowed. “You’ll have to stew in a cell over the weekend, ‘cause you can’t get a bail hearing until Monday. After that, you can pay your bail and await a court date since Mr. Sabin is pressing charges.”
My eye was twitching. Remaining calm was proving to be difficult.
“Or you stay in jail and wait for that court date,” he continued. “Don’t matter to me what you do.”
“What’s my bail gonna be, do you reckon?” I asked, in a slightly mocking tone.
“Depends,” the other officer said, finally speaking. “Could possibly be about ten thousand dollars..”
“Shit,” I muttered.
Bradford was collecting his things and preparing to leave.
“Why do you think Jared would attack you, Sawyer?” Bradford asked. “He has a new girlfriend, cute redhead—we met her when he was giving us his report. Why would he want to hurt you? What did you say to him when you went to talk to him at his apartment? Maybe he felt threatened by you.”
“Oh, he was definitely threatened by me; that is why he came at me,” I retorted. “He just hates seeing me with Hannah. He doesn’t want her to be happy. Come on, man—sir… if Hannah was here, she’d agree with everything I said.”
“Really now?” he asked in a suggestive tone.
“Yeah, because I’m telling the truth,” I said.
“Okay then,” said Bradford doubtfully. “One last question, if I may, Sawyer?”
“Go ahead.”
“Did Hannah truly not know that you had been evicted?”
I answered as I did for the same reason I had earlier: I was protecting Hannah.
“No, she didn’t. I just told her I needed a place to stay. She didn’t ask many questions.”
Bradford seemed ready to ask a follow-up, but he resisted and got to his feet.
“Good luck to you, Mr. Smith,” said Bradford.
After Bradford and his friend made their exit, two other officers entered the room and escorted me out.
I wasn’t sure whether I could forgive myself if I was responsible for Hannah getting evicted. I remembered how I felt the day I was told to leave. It was the most hopeless I had ever felt in my entire goddamn life. And yet, I was carelessly and thoughtlessly willing and able to put Hannah through that same hopelessness. I was willing to be moved from an air-conditioned room with a chair to the holding cell area that smelled like shit, piss, and ejaculate. I felt like I deserved it.
I used my phone call to try and contact Hannah, but she didn’t answer. They let me try her a few more times, but she never answered. I didn’t know how to say to her what I needed to in a voicemail, and I knew that the prison likely recorded telephone conversations going in and out of the jail.
Instead, I got a hold of my older brother and told him about what I was dealing with. I made the call with no hope or expectations of any kind, and I wasn’t let down. My brother and I hadn’t gotten along much since he settled down and started a family. I was often loud and opinionated on what I thought he should do with his life, and he was the same to me. So, what I received from him was indifference. But, I hung up satisfied, knowing that at least someone out there knew where I was.
I hadn’t expected Jared to go to the cops. I figured that the kind of guy who was willing to stalk someone and lunge at them with a Taser wasn’t the sort of guy who would go to the police after he got beat up. I still didn’t know the full story of what Jared told police, but I knew that Bradford was right: it looked bad for me. I had truly gotten myself into a deep quagmire that was slowly, but surely, pulling Hannah in too.
Something that plagued me was that the parking lot was empty. The cameras would have caught everything, and yet… was the fucker paying the cops?
I was unable to fall asleep for hours since I was so livid with Jared, and I had been using the waning hours of the day to plan how I was going to enact my revenge…
…But, then I thought of Hannah. I thought of how I wished I had given her those damn flowers.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hannah
Before I met Sawyer, I’d never been to a prison. Not once.
I often wondered what Sawyer meant when he spoke about being ‘adventurous,’ but I never wondered whether those adventures had ever included violence.
Frankly, I didn’t know what to think or believe at that point. I was overwhelmed, mostly by the barrage of scattered bits of information that I had been given the previous day. I was tempted to call or text Jared and get answers directly from him, but I didn’t want to see him or even hear his voice. I suspected he would lie, anyway.
I didn’t know how much honesty I would receive from Sawyer when he was under prison surveillance, but even with eyes on us, I suspected he would tell me the truth. He always did.
They sat me in the visiting area, where there was a row of mounted telephones across the wall, all beside individual panes of glass windows that allowed for the prisoner and their visitor to see each other. It was weird thinking of Sawyer as a prisoner.
It was even stranger when I saw what Sawyer looked like as a prisoner. He was wearing a prison jumpsuit and a look of utter angst. It was the first time I had ever seen Sawyer look completely helpless and hopeless. He looked trapped and uncomfortable, but even in his weakened stance, he didn’t look afraid.
A guard guided him over to his seat, which was opposite from mine on his side of the glass. Once he saw who was seated on my side of the glass, our eyes met and locked, and he seemed to instantly come back around.
We each picked up our mounted phone. We sat in silence for a few seconds, just listening to each other breathe.
“How’s it going?” he asked me.
“Terrible,” I answered honestly. “You?”
“Eh. Could be worse.”
I considered putting my hand on the glass, but I feared it would come across as too cliché. “I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t even know what’s happening.”
“Have you talked to Jared?” he asked me.
I shook my head.
“I didn’t lie,” he said. “He was following me, so I pulled over to see what he wanted… He got pissed and came at me with a Taser.”
It was hard for me to imagine Jared attacking anyone with anything. Then again, I was quickly realizing just how little I knew about what kind of man Jared was.
“So, you… beat him up?” I asked.
“He kept trying to use the fucking Taser on me. I didn’t have a choice,” he said.
It wasn’t hard for me to imagine Sawyer beating someone up, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I felt a peculiar combination of unease and comfort at the same time. It was an emotion I was unfamiliar with.
“I took the Taser,” he added. “I wasn’t going to let him near you with it.”
I looked away from him, blushing. I played with my hair. Surreal didn’t feel like a word strong enough
to describe the entire situation.
“It’s in my room, in one of my suitcases filled with clothes,” he said. “You could show the police. It would have to be registered in his name or stolen.”
“But won’t you get in trouble for stealing it?” I asked.
“Fuck if I know,” he replied. “I just want this assault charge gone. I’ve called a lawyer and hopefully they can handle it. I can’t believe that little coward… He tails me, threatens me, offers me… uh…”
“…Offers you what, Sawyer?”
Sawyer hesitated for only a moment. “He said he would pay me two thousand dollars if I had sex with you and then moved out the next day.”
It may have been due to my being overwhelmed (or tired), but what he said didn’t shock me. Nothing Jared did was surprising to me anymore.
“What did you say?” I asked.
“I laughed in his face and told him to leave us alone,” he said. “Leave you and me alone, rather. You know what I mean.”
“What?”
“I just… I said ‘us,’ I didn’t want you to think… you know.”
Neither of us knew what to say next. We both looked blankly around at our surroundings, each of us processing the gravity of it all.
“I can’t believe what a sniveling little coward runt that guy is,” said Sawyer. “No offense, little lady… but, why the fuck did you date that psycho?”
I had no answer.
“Well… anyway,” he said finally. “I’m not gonna be able to get out until Monday at the earliest. That’s when I’ll get my bail hearing.”
“How much is your bail going to be?” I asked.
“Not sure,” he answered. “Close to a thousand, probably.”
“Oh, shit,” I muttered.
“Yeah, you’re telling me,” he chuckled. “I’ll have to clear out my checking and my savings. Probably should have started saving earlier than I did.”
I began feeling like I did before when he asked me for a place to stay. I wasn’t sure where I was drawing my ideas or motivation from, but I decided to stick with my gut.
“I can help pay your bail.”