by Claire Adams
“I’m aware of that,” I snorted.
“Which is why you need to give Gina another chance.”
“Here we go again.” I rolled my eyes.
“I invited her to come back here and live with us,” she said without looking me in the eye.
“What the fuck did you do that for? This is my house and you don’t get to make these calls in my house.”
“Oh alright then, I’ll tell her not to come if that makes you feel better. You haven’t seen my pills by any chance, have you?”
Holy shit. Had she just threatened another suicide attempt? I couldn’t take it anymore, I was trapped. A part of me wanted to let her do whatever she wanted. But the other part of me just could not bear the thought of losing another parent, as manipulative and cunning as she was. She probably would never go through with it anyway, but that was the power this woman held over me. Logically, I knew she wouldn’t, yet her threats were enough to raise concern and bend me to her will.
I considered the idea of Gina moving back here. It couldn’t really be that bad. I had plenty of spare bedrooms in the house, she could pick the one she liked, farthest away from mine, and it would have the added benefit of keeping my mother entertained. They could spend all their time with each other and I could spend all my time at the office, with Aria.
The thought of Aria made me feel uncomfortable. She was already upset with me and it would take a lot for me to get out of this situation alone, I didn’t doubt it. But I didn’t even want to think of her reaction when she found out about Gina. I wondered what would be the best way to explain it to her, and whether she would even give me a chance to explain. From the outside it must look bad; I was technically still married, and trying to fake an attempt of reconciliation with my wife to keep my mother from offing herself, yet I had made her sign a contract to be my girlfriend and then slept with her. And so many women before her that she knew of. She would think I was a complete asshole, if she didn’t already. Aria could never know about any of this, under any circumstances.
“Okay, mother, Gina can move back into the house. But she’ll have to stay out of my bedroom.”
She flashed a smirk of victory. “For now, that sounds like a good idea. She’ll have to eventually move into your room, you know. But we will wait until you guys have better results from couples therapy. That’s fair enough.”
What part of this was fair? I didn’t love Gina, I never would. She was wasting my time and her time and quite frankly, setting the woman up for quite a bit of disappointment and hurt feelings. But until I figured out a better way to stop the suicide threats, I’d just have to go along with it.
---
The next day, Gina was all moved in. My mom had already told her to pack and get ready for it before even having that conversation with me. She was a conniving fox.
There was a knock on my door. “I’m busy,” I lied. I didn’t want to see either of them.
“I have something for you, it’ll only take a second,” Gina’s voice said from outside the door. Better her than more threats from my mom.
“Fine, come in.”
She did, wearing nothing but a robe. “Hi,” she said in what I imagined to be an attempt at a seductive voice. Then her robe came off. It wasn’t an utter shock. It wasn’t an unpleasant sight entirely; Gina had a tall, slender, and toned figure, with the right amount of curves. Her bright blonde hair flowed under her big round breasts. Objectively, it was quite aesthetically pleasing.
“Put your robe back on,” I said, turning away from her and looking back at my computer.
“But, but I thought-“
“You thought wrong,” I said, ignoring the reaction of my penis, which was quite different from my own. “I am not going to fuck you. Not now, not ever. So quit embarrassing yourself.”
First I heard some sniffles and then I heard her cry as she ran out of the room. Holy shit, women. Did she really think that that would work? Just walking in here and stripping? That it would make me forgive her for all she had done and we would go back to being okay again? It was sickening, and also showed exactly what she thought of me; someone who couldn’t keep his dick in place. Little did she know that the only person I wanted to fuck was a 20-year-old redhead, whose defiance and stubbornness was enough to give me a hard on. I closed my eyes and lay in bed, thinking of Aria’s smooth skin and soft pussy, stroking myself thinking I was inside it, making her come. I lasted less than a minute. The mere fantasy of Aria was enough to make me lose all control.
I would lose it completely if I didn’t have her back in my bed soon.
---
That evening, my mother somehow convinced me to take Gina out to dinner. “I’m feeling particularly under the weather, might need an extra dosage of my pills,” she had casually stated, right after suggesting that Gina and I needed to have some romantic time outside of the house if we were ever going to work. If only I could explain to her that I had no interest in making it work whatsoever.
She could fit in with all the crazy rich celebrities. We could be great a fucking reality show.
I knocked on Gina’s door and said, “I’ll be in the car, come whenever you’re ready.”
I walked over to where Ned was parked right outside my house and made myself a drink of whiskey.
“You don’t seem to be having a particularly good day, Zay. Want to talk about it?” Ned asked upon seeing me chug my whiskey.
I sighed. “I don’t know where to start, Ned. Everything is a fucking mess. You know my mother. She’s decided to extend her stay indefinitely and invited Gina too. She keeps threatening to off herself. It’s frustrating. And then there is Aria…”
“So that’s the real issue. You can usually handle your mother without seeming to collapse with the stress. But your lady friend seems to have done a number on you.”
“She’s frustrating, yet I can’t stop thinking about her. I am supposed to be taking my ex-wife out for dinner and pretending to attempt reconciliation, yet I can’t stop thinking about Aria. How was she? When you picked her up the other day?” I asked, suddenly remembering Ned had seen her more recently than I had.
“Very intoxicated,” he said cheerfully. “She seemed to be having a good time, but definitely a lot of trouble speaking. She was shocked to see me and kept muttering words of what sounded like gratitude, but I can’t be sure.”
“Did she—” I cleared my throat. “Did she say anything about me?”
He looked back and gave me a doleful look. “Do you really want to know?”
“Is it that bad?” I actually felt fear at the possibilities of his answer. What if she had said she hated me?
“No, it wasn’t. I couldn’t make out most of what she was saying but she kept repeating that she wasn’t an object and you didn’t own her.”
“But I do,” I said, confused. “For now, anyway.”
“Well, if you want an old man’s advice; don’t let her feel that way. The best way to win her over is probably to let her feel her independence. If she feels like she is losing that, it will be much harder to keep her around.”
“But she doesn’t have a choice. She signed a contract. She has to be around.”
“Would you rather her just be around or would you rather she be around and enjoy being with you?”
Before I could answer, Gina showed up, wearing a long green dress with the neck cut so low, her breasts were almost popping out.
“Hi Ned,” she said pleasantly.
Ned just nodded curtly. He hated her for what she had done to me, perhaps more than I hated her for it. So the drive to the restaurant was particularly quiet. I asked her if she wanted a drink, to which she politely declined. Probably thought her scheme to win me – and money – over would fail if she didn’t have her wits about her. I resumed to quietly sipping my whiskey and only looked at her when she finally spoke again.
“You look very nice,” she said, still trying to sound annoyingly pleasant.
“Thanks,” I said and
looked back out the window. Gina had interrupted my conversation with Ned about Aria, and that alone was enough to make me irritated by her.
“I hope you will be a little chattier at the restaurant. It will make for a lot less uncomfortable of a meal.” She smiled serenely at me, as though she wasn’t just complaining.
“I just don’t have anything to say.” I shrugged.
“I’m sure we can find something to talk about,” she said, putting her hand over mine. “There is a lot of history.”
“Oh, you would like to discuss history, huh? How did it feel fucking someone else behind my back?”
She went red, all attempts at pleasantness in her face vanished. “I meant the rest of our history. The good parts. Don’t you remember any of the good parts, Zay?”
“No,” I spat as Ned parked outside the restaurant. “Now let’s get this date that my mother forced upon us over with, so that she can stop threatening to kill herself.”
She raised her eyes wider. “What are you talking about?”
We hopped out of the car and Ned went off to park. “Don’t play innocent. I’m sure you put her up to it.”
“I honestly don’t know what you are talking about. I know your momma really wants us to get back together, but I didn’t know she had been pressuring you like that…I thought you wanted to give us another shot. I thought—”
“Whatever you thought, you thought wrong. But we are here now, and we might as well enjoy the evening, yeah?”
“Zay, I really want us to work,” she said, reaching out for my hand again but I yanked it away this time. “You’re the love of my life.”
That made me snort. “I have no idea what people mean when they use that word, but based on mother’s ‘love’ for my dad and your ‘love’ for me, I am pretty sure I am not interested in that shallow fucking emotion.”
She looked away, holding back tears as we stepped into the restaurant. It was a high-end Japanese establishment, with authentic Japanese decorations, and the chef was famous for winning Japan’s version of “Top Chef” last year. He had since moved to the States to open his own highly exclusive restaurant. It would take a normal person months to find a reservation here, but I just had to make a phone call. I figured if I was going to suffer through dinner with Gina, I might as well at the very least enjoy the meal.
“Sinclair,” I told the Filipino-looking hostess.
“Come with me, Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair,” she said brightly, escorting us to a private table at the end of the room. I started to correct her, but Gina held my hand again, obviously pleased to be referred to as Mrs. Sinclair. “Thank you so much for joining us today, your server will be here any moment.”
As soon as she was off, I told Gina, “We are not Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair.”
“We technically are, Zay,” she sighed. “Like it or not, we are still married, as the divorce papers were never fully processed. You were too busy to make it to any of the court dates, remember? I am Mrs. Sinclair, for now, at least. And I would like to try my best to keep it that way. You hate me right now and you can’t see past my mistakes, which I totally understand, but I want this to work. I want you to trust me again.”
I snorted loudly. “You’re delusional, aren’t you? You and my mom both. You think your actions bear no consequences, and that you can just sweep in here with a slutty dress or take your clothes off in my room and everything will just go back to normal?”
Her face went a deep shade of pink. “I didn’t say…I didn’t mean to imply…or dress slutty—“
“Hah!” I cut her off. “So you’re just letting your breasts hang out of your dress with no intention of seducing me, right? Just like how you came into my room with just a bathrobe on and it conveniently slipped off your body?”
“Yes, that was me trying to seduce you. But you made it clear that you weren’t interested. Honestly, I never knew you were capable of turning down a naked woman.”
“Now you do,” I snapped. “So don’t try to pull that shit with me again.”
She put her hand over mine again. That was getting annoying.
“Zayden,” she said with her frustratingly pleasant tone back. “Be honest with me, and it’s okay, whatever the answer is. Is there someone else?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my mind automatically drifting to Aria. I wondered what she was doing right this second. Arguing with somebody about something, probably. She was feisty as hell.
“Another woman?”
“There are many. You didn’t think I have been celibate this whole time since you left, do you? If so, you’re far more idiotic than I had thought.”
“I don’t mean one of the many young women that you entertain yourself with on a regular basis – yes, word travels – I mean someone you actually care about.”
“I don’t do that whole caring thing anymore,” I said, but a part of me felt like I wasn’t being entirely truthful. After all, I had been worried sick over Aria’s sudden disappearance. I could lie to myself all I wanted – that I was mad that she was disobeying the contract, or that I simply enjoyed looking at her ass in the office – but I had spent every day of her absence wondering if she had been okay. And when she had made those drunken phone calls, I had immediately sent Ned to take her and her roommates home because I was concerned for her safety. Admitting that to myself was surprisingly scary. The last thing I needed right now was to be blinded by my emotions. I needed to grow out of caring again, as soon as possible.
“Then I’ll make you a deal, Zay,” Gina said, her tone suddenly very businesslike and professional. Before she could convey her “deal,” though, our server came over.
“Are we ready to order, sir?” A young Asian girl asked.
We both looked at her, slightly annoyed for being interrupted. “I’ll have a glass of whiskey and two spicy tuna rolls for appetizers.”
While Gina made her order, I thought of how that was one of Aria’s favorite foods and felt a familiar pang of longing. That first night we had a date in our office was so incredible. She had matched every one of my clever comments with her own, and had been delighted by the exquisite menu that was custom-made in her honor. Her reaction to the champagne in particular had been delightful. I would have to bring her here someday; this would be some of the best sushi she had ever had and I could reserve the whole restaurant just for her if she wanted. If she wanted. She had to, because I had bought her for the next few months.
With a sinking feeling, I realized that I didn’t want her to be around because of some contractual obligation, but rather because she craved my company, and my body, just as much as I craved hers. Angry with myself for feeling this way, I forced myself to believe it didn’t matter what she thought or felt. She owed me her time, willingly or otherwise. I couldn’t let the fact that she was unhappy to be around me get in the way of what I wanted. That wasn't how I functioned. At least, I really didn’t want it to be. What had that feisty redhead done to me?
“Zayden!” Gina had been repeating my name, making me snap out of it.
“Oh yeah, sorry, I spaced out,” I said, slightly frustrated to be taken away from thoughts of Aria. “You were talking about some proposition.”
“Yes, and hear me out before declining my offer,” she said, still sounding businesslike. “We cancel the divorce proceedings-“
“No way. That’s not a deal. It’s just not happening.”
“Hear me out!” She was clearly getting frustrated. All attempts at being sickeningly sweet vanished. No more pretenses. Gina was getting to the point. She wasn’t here because she thought she loved me or something ridiculous like that.
“I know you don’t have any feelings for me, and I am okay with that. But you gain something by having me around; you can shut your mother up and she will stop with the threats if she thinks we are back together and happy.”
“Your point being?”
“We can stay married, but we don’t have to actually be married. You are free to do whoever you want,
and I will do the same. Just on the down low. I will have my own room in your house – except when your mother is around so we can sell it – and not bother you with your life whatsoever. We have no physical obligations to each other, or emotional, but to your mother we will appear as a functioning, happy couple. It’s enough to get her off your back. Tons of rich people do this kind of thing.”
“What do you want in return? You obviously wouldn’t be making this deal if there wasn’t something in it for you.”
“Money and security,” she said and shrugged, as though it were only natural.
Even though I always knew these things, the fact that Gina was sitting in front of me like this and boldly stating her screwed-up intentions made me surprisingly angry. She would definitely fit in with “The Real Housewives” cast.
“You are appalling!”
“Some would say I am clever in looking out for myself. Always have been. You are a very difficult person to love. There isn’t a woman out there in the world capable of it, I guarantee you.”
Her words hit harder than they should have. Was she right? Was I just completely unlovable? Not that it mattered – regardless of whether a woman loved me or not, I was still the most powerful man in a 200-mile radius of this town. What did it matter if I could never get some dumb girl to devote her life to me? Love was bullshit, anyway. I always knew this; nobody was capable of loving anybody else…
My mind drifted to Aria again. Until the running out of my office incident the other day, she had always spoken surprisingly highly of me. She had called me a friend and even said that people underrated my character. Surely, Aria would disagree with what this woman was saying?
Starting to get angry with myself again, I scoffed. What the hell did it matter? Why did I care so much what Aria thought? Why was Gina’s comment about me being impossible to love making me think of Aria? I did not want her to fall in love with me. That’s the last thing I would want; it would just complicate things and make it difficult to get rid of her after the contract was over. The whole idea behind our deal was to not have any messy endings. The problem was, as I was just realizing, that I wasn’t sure if I wanted there to be an ending at all. The idea of “getting rid of her” sounded wrong in my head, as though I was planning to get rid of an organ from my own body.