“Here we go,” he says with an excited grin, pushing the ladder into position. “They must have left this out from when they were putting up the exhibits.”
“Leave it to me,” I tell him, putting my foot on the first rung of the ladder. Above my head, the duck-billed conductor is waiting on top of the podium, ready to start the band. “I’ll get the platypus.”
As I climb the ladder, I can’t stop myself from grinning. For the first time since I got here, I’m in control. My head’s buzzing with excitement. I’m going to steal an antique platypus, and I don’t even care if I get caught.
When Mum first got ill, I tried so hard to do the right thing all the time, not wanting to cause her any worry or make things worse. But even though I kept everything bottled up inside—the bullying at school, my dad’s disappearing acts—this didn’t help make Mum any better, and I just had to watch her fade away. But in this universe, there’s no Mum for me to worry about anymore. Here, I can do what I like—just like Bad Albie does.
From the top of the ladder, the platypus seems a bit farther away than it looked from the floor, but it looks twice as freaky. On top of the white tuxedo, a black bow tie is knotted beneath its enormous beak, and its beady eyes stare back at me suspiciously.
“Have you got it?” Wesley calls out.
Holding on to the ladder with one hand, I reach out for the platypus. It’s about as big as my backpack, with a couple of nasty-looking spikes near the front of its flippers. My mouth is dry and I can feel my heart thudding in my chest as I grab hold of its shiny brown fur. And that’s when everything starts to go wrong.
“I can’t wait to see the animals!” It’s Miss Benjamin’s voice, and it sounds like she’s right outside. “I used to love bringing the children to see them in the old museum. Thank you for giving me this sneak peek.”
Panicking, I glance toward the frosted doors and see two shadows behind the glass. Miss Benjamin is going to catch me red-handed.
“What do we do now?” I hiss, but when I look down, Wesley has already let go of the bottom of the ladder and is heading toward a sign that says EMERGENCY EXIT. I’m on my own.
Then several things happen at once.
Without Wesley holding on, the ladder starts to jolt backward, tipping me forward into empty air. One second I’m reaching out for the platypus, and the next it’s the only thing I’m holding on to as I fall toward the platform. On the way down, my flailing elbow somehow connects with a button on the side of the podium, switching it from Off to On.
As the runaway ladder picks up speed, trundling down the walkway toward the cricketing crocodiles and kangaroos, the sound of an orchestra suddenly fills the room. A fanfare of trumpets announces my arrival as I crash-land in the middle of the animal orchestra, a row of flute-playing huskies cushioning my fall.
As I lie there dazed, a stuffed penguin stabbing me in the ribs with its violin bow, I hear a huge crash as the ladder smashes into the platform at the bottom of the walkway. I’m still holding on to the platypus, and when I open my eyes, its beak is millimeters away from my face and its beady gaze tells me I’ve made a massive mistake.
I scramble to my feet, and the orchestra is still blaring, but the stuffed musicians are scattered across the stage. My crash landing has taken out the brass and woodwind sections, and most of the penguin violinists too. On the other side of the room, the kangaroos’ cricket match has been completely demolished, and one of the crocodile batsmen is now stuck halfway up the ladder. Wesley is nowhere to be seen.
“Albie Bright!” Miss Benjamin shrieks. With a sinking feeling, I turn to see my prematurely aged teacher standing in the doorway, her left eye now twitching into hyperdrive. Next to her, the museum curator is shaking his head in horror as he surveys the devastation. “What on earth have you done?”
On the TV, Doc Brown is hanging from the clock tower as Marty McFly accelerates the DeLorean to eighty-eight miles per hour, ready to take the time machine back to the future. It’s weird—I must have seen this film at least fifty times, but even though the story is exactly the same, the Marty McFly in this movie looks completely different. I guess some other actor must have played the part in this parallel universe. But I’m not really watching the film—I’m just sitting on the living room sofa, waiting for Granddad Joe to start talking to me.
He hasn’t said a word since he turned up at the museum to take me home, listening in silence as Miss Benjamin angrily listed my “crimes”:
Destruction of an animatronic animal orchestra
Demolition of the kangaroos versus crocodiles cricket match
Attempted theft of an antique stuffed platypus
Even when Miss Benjamin told Granddad Joe that I was suspended from school for a week pending further inquiries, he didn’t say a word. Instead we walked back home together in silence and he sat down in his armchair with a heavy sigh, turning on the TV that was still showing the same film I’d last seen in another universe.
I shouldn’t care about any of this. I can just climb back inside my cardboard box and leave this mess for Bad Albie to sort out. After all, none of this would have happened if he hadn’t forced me to go to school instead of him. But then I see the look of disappointment on Granddad Joe’s face, and I can’t help feeling that I’ve let him down.
“Granddad?” I say, desperately wishing he’d talk to me.
But he just sits in his armchair, staring at the TV as the lightning hits the clock tower.
“Granddad?” I say again, a bit louder this time in case his hearing aid’s switched off.
Granddad Joe sighs in reply. “I can’t even look at you, Albie,” he says as the DeLorean disappears in a flash of electricity. “Not after what you’ve done this time.”
“But I didn’t mean to—”
“I used to take your mum to that museum when she was a little girl,” he tells me. “Of course, it wasn’t called Fusion then—it was the Clackthorpe Museum of Natural History and Mechanical Wonders. Charlotte used to love looking at all the animals. She’d keep asking me questions. How high can a kangaroo hop? What’s the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? Why is it that every animal is different? Your mum told me once that it was looking at the animals in the museum that made her want to be a scientist when she grew up. And I’ve just had to listen to your teacher telling me that you’ve destroyed half of these creatures with your stupid prank.”
Shaking his head, Granddad Joe rubs his eyes, trying to hide the sadness that’s started to leak out.
“What do you think your mum would say?”
This makes me feel like I’ve just been punched in the stomach. Of all the things Granddad Joe could say to me, this is the absolute worst. Everything I’ve done has been for my mum—inventing the Quantum Banana Theory, risking my life to kidnap a psychopathic cat, traveling to a parallel universe—but how can I explain any of this to Granddad Joe? There’s only one thing I can say.
“I’m sorry, Granddad.”
“Are you?” he asks doubtfully, looking at me for the first time. “That’s what you always say. Look, Albie, I know your dad’s not around much at the moment—rushing back and forth with his cold fusion thingamajigs—but that’s no excuse for the way you’re behaving. I know you think I’m a silly old man who can’t even cook dinner without burning it, but your dad is trying to make the world a better place for you to grow up in.” I can see the tears in Granddad Joe’s eyes as he stares into mine. “When I look at you, Albie, I can see my Charlotte too. You’re the spitting image of your mum. She also wanted to make the world a better place, and now it’s up to you to make her proud.”
I nod, fighting back my own tears. Make her proud…that’s all I ever wanted to do.
“Don’t worry, Granddad,” I tell him, trying to keep my emotions in check as I get up off the sofa. “I’m going to put things right.”
As I climb the stairs up to the attic, a guilty feeling follows me. Everything Granddad Joe said is whirring around my head, but
I can’t face up to it now. All I want to do is get out of this place. Part of me feels like I’m running away, but if I’m going to put things right, then I need to find my mum. My bedroom door is open, and as I step inside, it looks like the coast is clear.
The cardboard box is waiting for me in the corner of the room—my ticket out of this parallel universe. I only hope that it’s not a one-way ticket. What if the Quantum Banana Theory doesn’t work again? I try to push this nagging worry to the back of my mind.
Kneeling down, I check that everything is in the right place. The Geiger counter is still hooked up to my mum’s laptop, the banana in front of it now covered in brown splotches. It looks like I’m ready to go.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
At the sound of my own voice, I spin around to see Bad Albie standing in the doorway, a cartoon scowl scrawled across his face.
“I sent you to school to keep everyone off my back, but you’ve just made things a thousand times worse. You’ve wrecked the museum and got me suspended from school, and when Dad finds out he’s going to ground me forever. What’s the big idea? I thought you clones were supposed to do what you’re told.”
He glares at me as if daring me to disagree.
“I told you before,” I snap back at him. “I’m not a clone. I’m you—from a parallel universe.”
Bad Albie just looks at me like I’m a moron.
“A parallel what?”
But I don’t get the chance to answer his question, because a ginger streak of fur rockets into the room.
“What the—”
With a meow that sounds like a panther with a hangover, Dylan darts past Bad Albie and dives inside the cardboard box, its flaps falling shut behind him. For a second we both stand there in stunned silence; then I hear the clicking sound of the Geiger counter inside.
No! Not without me!
“Was that a cat?” Bad Albie asks, looking kind of worried as he walks toward the box. He grabs hold of the gardening gloves that I wore when I first arrived here, picking them up off the floor. “We’ve got to get it out of that box before it thinks it’s kitty litter time and stinks up my room.”
He shoves the gloves into my hands.
“Get ready to grab it when I open the flaps.”
Leaning forward, Bad Albie slowly opens the box, waiting for the cat to spring out.
Nothing happens.
With a puzzled look on his face, he peers inside to find a banana, a Geiger counter, and my mum’s laptop. There is no cat. Dylan has done it again.
Scratching his head, Bad Albie turns back to look at me in confusion.
“Where’s the cat gone?”
So I tell him about the Quantum Banana Theory.
When I finish explaining everything, Bad Albie is still scratching his head.
“So you’re telling me that my next-door neighbor’s cat is now in a parallel universe?”
“No, Dylan’s my next-door neighbor’s cat,” I correct him.
“And you’re from a parallel universe too?”
“Yes, that’s what I told you.”
A huge grin lights up my evil twin’s face.
“This is brilliant.”
This is when I find out that the one thing worse than a parallel-universe Albie who doesn’t believe me is one who does.
“So if I climb inside this box, I’ll travel to a parallel universe?” he asks, peering at Mum’s laptop as a stream of zeroes and ones pulses across the screen.
“Yes, but you see, the important thing is we can find Mum and—”
Bad Albie shakes his head.
“I don’t care about my mum. I never even knew her. No, if this magic box can take me to another world, I’m going to find the one where my stupid dad hasn’t given all his money away to charity.” He narrows his eyes as he stares back at me. “I should be a millionaire—and in a parallel universe I will be.”
For a second I’m lost for words. How can he say he doesn’t care about Mum? She’s the reason I invented the Quantum Banana Theory. The only thing that matters is finding her again.
“Come on,” Bad Albie growls. “What do I need to do to get this thing working?”
If I let Bad Albie climb inside that box, he’ll wreck everything. I’ve got to think of a way to stop him.
I’m still holding the gardening gloves, and as I glance down at them, a crazy idea jumps into my mind. I just need to convince this other Albie that it’s true.
“If you want to travel to a parallel universe, then you’ve got to wear the right gear,” I tell him, throwing the gloves straight back at him. “Just like I did.”
Catching hold of them, Bad Albie looks at me like I’ve just told him to wear a tutu.
“A pair of gardening gloves?”
He couldn’t sound more suspicious, but if this plan’s going to work, I’ve got to convince him.
“Not just the gloves,” I say. “You need to wear the mask and the body armor too. You don’t want your insides turned into spaghetti when you go through the black hole into a parallel universe, do you? The body armor will keep all your bits in place, and the mask will protect your face from the cosmic rays.”
Bad Albie looks down at the scary clown Halloween mask and my BMX body armor, which are still lying on the floor where I left them.
“Are you sure?” he asks doubtfully.
“It got me here in one piece, didn’t it?” I pick up the protective vest and push it into his hands. “But if you want to risk your insides being squeezed out of your eyes like toothpaste from a tube, you go right ahead.”
Still grumbling, Bad Albie starts to pull the chest armor on.
This is my only chance. While he’s trying to pull the BMX vest that is too small over his head, I’m crawling inside the cardboard box. Trying not to make a noise, I pull the cardboard flaps shut behind me, fumbling in the dark to find the Geiger counter.
I look down at the readout, but there’s no light coming from the display. It’s dead. On the laptop screen, the zeroes and ones are still scrolling so quickly that they blur into one. But something’s gone wrong. There’s no power reaching the Geiger counter. If the banana goes radioactive, then how am I going to know if the universe has split in two?
Scrabbling in the darkness, I feel for the cable that connects the Geiger counter to the laptop, and my fingers brush against the end of the USB connector. Somehow Dylan must’ve disconnected it.
“Hey, where have you gone?”
I hear my own voice from outside the box, and I don’t sound very happy.
With a shaking hand, I jab the connector into the USB port of Mum’s laptop. With my other hand I grab hold of the banana, holding it next to the Geiger counter as I mutter under my breath in desperation.
“Come on, come on, come on.”
The side of the cardboard box bulges as Bad Albie aims a kick at it.
“You—”
Then I hear the Geiger counter click, and the world seems to freeze for a millisecond. I feel a billion invisible elastic bands twang somewhere outside the box, and then the Geiger counter clicks again and my evil twin’s shout snaps into silence.
Crouching there in the darkness, I try to catch my breath. It looks like the Quantum Banana Theory has worked again. The only thing I want to know is: where am I now?
This time I’ve learned my lesson. Opening the flaps, I cautiously peek my head out of the box, keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t get punched in the face.
My bedroom looks exactly the same. There’s my telescope and piles of books and comics; even the poster of the solar system is on the wall above my bed. I do a quick count of the planets—Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune—and breathe a sigh of relief that there are only eight this time.
It’s only when I climb out of the box that I realize there’s someone sitting at my desk. The person’s back is to me, but I can tell at once it’s me—I mean, another me.
“I can’t believe you’r
e here.”
This other Albie turns around, and my jaw drops to the floor as I see a girl staring back at me. It’s like looking into a funfair mirror. Her face looks the same as mine—eyes, nose, and mouth all the same shape and in the same place—but she’s definitely a girl.
I open and close my mouth a few times, but no words come out.
I suppose I shouldn’t be so surprised. Every cell in your body contains chromosomes that make you who you are. What color eyes you have, how tall you are, whether or not you’re going to need glasses. All this information is in your chromosomes. There’s even a special pair of chromosomes that decide whether you’re a boy or a girl. If you get an X and a Y chromosome, you’re a boy, but if you get two Xs, then you’re a girl. It’s a fifty-fifty chance. The Albie in this universe must have got two Xs.
While I’m still doing an impression of a drowning goldfish, this Girl Albie is looking back at me with the same shocked expression on her face.
“You’re a boy,” she says, shaking her head in disbelief.
What am I supposed to say? In the last parallel universe, the other Albie thought I was a clone, but there’s no way I can pretend that now.
“I’m—”
“I know exactly who you are,” Girl Albie replies, her words bubbling out in a torrent of excitement. “You’re me from a parallel universe. Inside that cardboard box is a banana, a Geiger counter, and Mum’s quantum computer, which is hooked up to the Grid at CERN. Her experiments at the Large Hadron Collider have created a mini black hole that leads to a parallel universe. You’ve used the mini particle accelerator in Mum’s quantum computer to replicate this, creating a wormhole through the fifth dimension that lets you travel to these parallel worlds. It’s simple really. The Quantum Banana Theory works.” She pauses for a second to catch her breath, a grin spreading across her lips. “I should know—I thought of it too.”
My jaw drops open again. The Albie in this universe isn’t just a girl, she’s a genius as well. We both might have invented the Quantum Banana Theory, but to be honest, I haven’t got a clue how it works. But Girl Albie seems to have it all worked out.
The Many Worlds of Albie Bright Page 7