by C. R. Ellis
He mumbled under his breath and closed the gap he’d put between us, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and crushing me against his chest. I knew it was dangerous to let him hold me; I’d never want him to let go.
Seconds stretched into minutes, and finally I steadied my breathing and found my voice. “I’d better get back out there.”
I hated saying those words, I ached to do nothing but keep Dean locked away with me until we figured everything out. This had to be something we could overcome; I didn’t know how I’d survive if it wasn’t.
My feet propelled me toward the door, but I stopped and glanced back at him before I walked out. “Dean, I…” I broke off, unable to say the other three words. I wanted to tell him I loved him too, to beg him not to give up on me, on us. But I couldn’t. Not without falling apart completely.
“I know, Jas,” he said, a heartbroken look on his painfully handsome face.
I brushed past guests and wait staff, making a beeline for the bathroom so I could collect my thoughts and do some damage control with my makeup. Being around people was the absolute last thing I wanted, but I had a job to do.
Jade saw me and could instantly tell something wasn’t right. I’d held off the tears, and plastered a smile on my face while I moved through the throng of people, but she knew me better than anyone, so I wasn’t fooling her.
“Jas?” she called, following me into the bathroom and locking the heavy mahogany door behind her. “What happened?”
“I don’t even know,” I cried, shaking my head and grabbing the tissue she handed me. “Natasha went fucking crazy when she found out Dean was seeing me. She basically mauled him in the supply room, just as I walked in, then said something about them fucking when he was in New York for Nathan’s graduation. He said that wasn’t true, but it led to a huge fight between us.”
“Oh shit. I knew I should’ve punched that walking piece of silicone when I had the chance,” she said angrily. “I just saw her, she looked—”
I cut her off. “I don’t care about her anymore, Jade. I said some really awful things to him, and I think we might’ve just broken up,” I added, biting my lip and trying not to fall apart all over again.
“What?! Oh, sweetie.” I couldn’t make myself care about messing up my hair and makeup anymore, I let her hold me in a comforting hug. “I’m sure it was just a fight. Couples fight, but then you make up. Y’all are meant to be together,” she continued, pulling apart slowly. “He loves you. Do you love him?”
“Of course I do. But it’s not that simple, JP…”
She shook her head and pulled back a piece of my hair that had worked its way free from the bobby pin holding it in place. “Oh, but it is. Loving someone is simple. It’s the rest that complicates relationships. Hold on to the love, Jas.”
“But he’s not wrong. I need to sort through everything I’m feeling and figure out if I can actually make things work with him. I’ve spent so long keeping people out to protect myself that I don’t know if I can let him in completely. Love isn’t enough for some people.”
“So take some time to think, to work through whatever shit is going on in your head. But don’t give up. Giving up would be the easy way out, and that’s not you. You’re a fighter, and I know you love him. So go visit your dad, do something that’s going to help you make peace with whatever’s keeping you from the light and the love you have with Dean.”
I stared at her blankly. “I can’t just pick up and go. It’s the middle of wedding season, and we have new clients and about twenty weddings coming up.”
She stood her ground. Her petite frame was elevated by a good three and a half inches, but my heels were higher, so I still towered over her. Green eyes that almost matched Dean’s met mine in the mirror. “El can handle your responsibilities like she did when I was in New York last year. We can hire a temp as an assistant in her place, or maybe even just hire another assistant. She’s ready for the shift, and we have more than enough work for three of us.”
She wasn’t wrong. I just couldn’t fathom picking up and leaving. “But—”
She gripped my hand. “Just think about it, Jasmine. Let’s get through tonight, and then we’ll regroup tomorrow and figure out what to do.”
I nodded, still not sure how I felt, but a part of me thought maybe some time off would be exactly what I needed to figure things out.
To find the light at the end of this crazy tunnel.
“Want to come sleep at my place after the reception? We can pick up some cookies ‘n cream ice cream on the way and find dirt on Natasha. Emmett is scary good at digging up information on the Internet. Then we can print pictures of her and reimagine her as villains from Disney movies. Or as Satan, since that’s probably more accurate. Or we could just go track her down and ‘accidentally’ spill a bag of Triton’s poop all over her.”
I laughed at her outrageous (yet totally genius) ideas. I’d left that supply room wondering if I’d ever be able to smile again, and here was my best friend, making me laugh minutes later. God, I love her.
“I’m going to give you a yes to all of the above. I definitely don’t want to go home tonight, and some Triton cuddles are sure to put me in a better mood.”
I walked out of the bathroom and forced myself to focus all my energy on making sure everything went smoothly—no audio issues with the DJ or the band, no issues with the food, and of course, I needed to check in with Alexa and Charlie—instead of focusing my energy on plotting Natasha’s death.
After making my way through most of the wait staff and the employees on loan from the hotel, I finally found the bride and groom. As I made my way to the happy couple, I focused on all the elaborate decorations adorning the ballroom. Each table’s centerpiece was a small vintage windowpane that featured pictures of Alexa and Charlie at the age of the number of the table, along with a vase of calla lilies. Twinkle lights adorned the rafters, glowing softly and drawing attention to the giant “A & C” outlined by the lights.
Just before I got to them, Charlie kissed Alexa’s cheek and briskly walked off toward the bar.
“There’s the beautiful bride,” I called as I closed in on their table at the front of the room. “How’s everything going so far?”
She grinned, blissfully happy. “Everything is wonderful, thanks to you. The food was great, and I think everyone else seems to agree,” she said, surveying the guests and waving hello to some of them. I studied the crowd too, and really had to hand it to both families—they definitely had a star-studded guest list.
I did a double take when I recognized the face she’d just waved at with a cool nonchalance I couldn’t duplicate. Oh, hey Bradley Cooper. My palms began to sweat, and I was sure my cheeks were on fire when he waved back and smiled at me. AT ME. I might have just suffered the worst night of my life, but at least I could die saying Bradley Cooper freaking smiled at me. That had to count for something, right?
Her gaze quickly moved on and swept over the rest of the guests to find her husband, who was deep in conversation with his father and Dean. None of them looked particularly happy, and I had a feeling I knew why. Charlie and Marcus were looking from Dean to Natasha to me and back.
“Jas? What’s going on? Why does Charlie look like he’s going to kill someone?” Alexa asked, totally perplexed.
“I’m not sure,” I lied, desperate to keep the drama from upsetting her. “Don’t worry, Alexa. I’ll go find out.” I got a few steps away from Alexa when Dean, Marcus, and Charlie stormed off toward Natasha’s table.
Oh, shit.
Ever the stoic, attention-commanding CEO, Marcus calmly knelt down to speak privately with Natasha’s father, whose face quickly fell before twisting with anger. The two men walked to Natasha while Charlie and Dean stood and watched from across the table. I had no clue what was being said, but it was enough for Natasha’s eyebrows to shoot up in surprise, then her eyes to narrow in anger. Within seconds, her father took one elbow and Marcus took the other, as they escor
ted her out of the ballroom.
What are the chances they’re putting her on a spaceship destined for Mars?
At least she was gone, and the atmosphere of the reception was safe from meeting the same fate my relationship with Dean had – strained at best and devastated at worst.
I exhaled a deep breath and turned back toward Alexa, realizing I owed her an explanation. To my surprise, Dean beat me to it, and crossed the dance floor to meet her. They exchanged some words, and Alexa’s face clouded over with annoyance. Dean and I locked eyes for a few brief seconds before he turned to go sit with his fellow groomsmen.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Alexa demanded as soon as she got to me. “I never liked her, but I had no idea she was so crazy. I can’t believe she got so carried away during the cocktail hour.”
I shrugged and tried to look unaffected, unwilling to trash-talk one of the guests, even if Alexa was a friend, and even if the guest was a bitch. She didn’t need to know that Natasha’s actions had actually worked to drive a wedge between Dean and me. “Come on, let’s get you a drink and find Charlie. Then I’m going to head over to the DJ and get this party officially started!” I exclaimed, pushing aside the ache in my chest that almost tore me apart when I glanced over and saw Dean’s gorgeous profile as he talked to Tom.
Slipping back into the role of wedding planner came easily. The rest of the night went off without a single hitch, and I was even able to enjoy myself. Until Jade found me at the end of the night and wrapped her arm around mine. “Ready to go do some virtual stalking and binge on some ice cream?” she asked, smiling sweetly.
I forced a weak smile onto my lips and tried not to look like a bipolar basket case (one of those was more than enough to deal with) as I responded with fake enthusiasm. “Let’s do it!”
Chapter 33
Jasmine
When life throws me lemons – wait, who am I kidding, life dumps giant, steaming piles of shit on me. It’s never tiny, inconsequential fruits.
Jasmine Winters, realizing she hates lemonade
An assault of my senses pulled me out of a restless sleep the next morning. Immediately to my left, an enormous gorilla (that looked a lot like Jade’s German Shepherd Triton) was sitting on the bed and leaning down to scrape his sandpaper tongue across my cheek. Down the hall, judging by the sounds carrying through the walls to my room, Jade was either being mauled by another wild animal or being ravished by her soon-to-be-husband. I groaned and yanked the spare pillow out from under Triton to both muffle the sounds and block my face from his kisses. When I could still faintly hear Jade, I gave up and quietly padded my way out of the guest room, heading straight for the kitchen with Triton on my heels.
We’d gotten to their house and immediately dug into the ice cream while Emmett dug around for information about Natasha. There were a few mentions of her in articles here and there—mostly comments on things she wore to charity events and fundraisers, along with the occasional photo of her snapped alongside minor celebrities out and about in New York. Jade pulled out the tequila after Emmett found an old article mentioning her relationship with Dean, and I almost crushed the bowl holding my ice cream.
As promised, Jade printed out photos of Natasha, and we used markers to turn her into various villains from Disney movies. Proof of our drunken shenanigans was strewn all around their dining room table, and I couldn’t help but smile at our top-notch artwork. Jade did an eerily perfect job turning her into Cruella de Vil, while I used a photo of her in a purple gown at a Cobalt Christmas party to turn her into Ursula. I’m no Picasso, and the tequila certainly hadn’t helped, but I’d done a halfway decent job turning her into a purple octopus (except for the fact that there were only six tentacles, because tequila. Obviously.).
I flipped through the numerous photos we’d altered while waiting for my coffee to brew and laughed out loud when I saw Emmett’s handiwork. He’d taken a photo of Natasha from her New Zealand vacation where she was standing by a sign that read “Welcome to Hobbiton,” and Photoshopped her into Gollum.
I reached for my phone, wanting to tell Dean about our work. Realization washed over me about the reality of the situation with him, and my laughter twisted into sobs. Triton leapt off the couch, coming to the kitchen to comfort me. I let myself fall to the floor, and this time I didn’t even try to stop Triton from licking my face.
I wanted to dissolve into the tile and never get up. I loved Dean with every cell in my body, and I couldn’t comprehend why my head wasn’t understanding that I didn’t need to put up my walls and push him away. That shit I said to him about fucking Natasha was stupid, and I knew it, yet said it anyway.
I sobbed into Triton’s thick fur and rested my head on him. “What the fuck is wrong with me, Triton?” I slumped over, intending to collapse onto the floor, but a set of hands gripped me firmly and pulled me up.
“I take it you’re not having a good morning,” Emmett said as he brought me to my feet. He frowned when he saw my puffy eyes. “Need me to print some more pictures of that bitch?”
I grinned in spite of myself. “No. Why mess with perfection? You nailed it with that one.”
He smiled. “True. I think it’s probably her best look yet.”
“Definitely.”
He nodded and moved toward the cabinet and found three coffee mugs. He poured two cups for us and set the extra mug by the coffee pot. I looked down the hall toward their bedroom, wondering where Jade was.
He read my mind and answered my question. “She’s in the shower. Did we wake you?” he asked, though not seeming embarrassed about it at all.
I didn’t even blink at his question, and didn’t hesitate to respond. “I honestly don’t know if it was y’all or Triton. Probably y’all,” I chided, throwing a hand towel at Emmett.
He grinned sheepishly and caught the towel. “Sorry. I guess we’re not used to having house guests.”
I waved off his apology. “You’re adults who are in love, getting married, and obviously have a healthy sex life. No need to apologize, E-money.” Jade and Emmett had been together for almost a year, and in that short amount of time he’d come to feel like a brother to me.
He nodded and seemed ready to drop the subject all together. I moved to the dining room and started collecting all the photos, markers, and shot glasses.
“Jas,” Emmett called from the kitchen. He was moving about, getting the ingredients out to make omelets. I tore my attention from the pictures I’d been staring at and met his blue eyes across the room. “I don’t know exactly what happened between you and Dean last night, and I’m not trying to pry into your business, but I do know the guy is as in love with you as I am with Jade. And I’ve never seen you happier than you have been with Dean. Whatever it is, I hope you keep that in mind going forward.”
I nodded and choked back a sob. Emmett abandoned his prep work for breakfast when my attempts failed to stop the tears from coming, and came to pull me into a bear hug. I let him crush my body to his in a surprisingly comforting embrace.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, Jas. I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t speak for fear of sobs taking over my body completely, so I just shook my head against his chest. His arms were the only things keeping me from falling back to the ground, and I knew he was concerned about me. I’d never cried in front of him; I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried in front of Jade, aside from last night.
“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why did I screw up the best thing that’s ever happened to me?” I sobbed, hating myself even more.
Jade’s arms wrapped themselves around me from behind, effectively sandwiching me between her body and Emmett’s. “Jas, there’s nothing wrong with you. You were put in an impossible situation. We’ve all been there, and have all wished we could have handled things differently.”
After absorbing all the comfort their embrace offered, I shifted out of their arms and moved to a chair. “He’s so mad at me, Jade,” I choked out. “A
nd I deserve it. I was a total bitch to him.”
“He’ll calm down. Just give him some time, I know he’ll come around,” she promised, coming to sit across from me at the table.
“But what if I’m not the kind of girlfriend Dean deserves? I’ve spent so long being someone that doesn’t do commitment and runs as soon as dust starts to settle.”
“So don’t run this time. Prove to him, and to yourself, that things with Dean are different,” Jade countered. Emmett slipped back into the kitchen to work on breakfast now that his fiancé was there to handle the situation. “Things are different, right?”
“Of course things are different with him, Jade.” I nodded, shocked she’d even ask. But then again, I’d never really discussed the depth of my feelings for her brother before. “I’m completely in love with him. But you told me I should take a trip, or go see my dad. How is that not running?”
Jade shook her head, like she knew that was coming. “That’s not what I meant. I still think you should go somewhere to clear your head. But that’s not the same as running from your problems with Dean completely. You’ll come back when you’re ready, after you’ve had some time to put things into perspective.”
Jade made valid points, but it still felt like I’d be running away from reality and away from my problems. I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from Dean, but I also knew staying wouldn’t fix that either. I needed time to figure things out.
I nodded slowly, ready to agree to Jade’s suggestion. “Okay. I’ll go see my dad. But not until we have everything figured out at the office.”
Jade couldn’t hide the surprise from showing plainly on her face, but she nodded quickly. “Agreed. Jas, I just want to do what’s best for you in the long run. Business will be fine; I don’t want you to worry about that.”