by Jane Linfoot
Izzy looked straight into his eyes. ‘If you bottle up all the memories of someone you love, it’s as if they’re gone completely, whereas if you can remember the happy times, and think about them every day, that way they live on, just differently.’
‘I never really thought of it like that.’ He ran his hand through his hair, where the wind from the skylight had tangled it. ‘It’s easier to be here now because the renovations have refreshed the place, and it feels different.’ It was a relief that the grab handles and the stair lift had disappeared with the refurb. In some ways this had been the perfect house for someone ill, and at the stage when his mum had been confined to the ground floor, the doorways were wide enough to wheel her chair around easily. Even when she couldn’t move or speak any more, he knew she still loved being in the airy downstairs rooms with their splashes of sunlight. It was the right place for her to choose, to die.
Izzy was right though. Maybe by shutting everything of his mother’s away, he was actually cutting himself off from her more than if her things were around.
Izzy frowned. ‘I can’t say what it’s like for other people, but I have my grandmother’s bread board, and every time I cut a slice of bread, I think of the lovely times I had with her. I can’t be with her any more, but remembering her every day is the next best thing to having her.’
He gave her a grin. ‘Remind me of that, when I’m next at yours for toast and marmalade.’ He went on, to hide the sudden chill of disappointment that thought sent through him. It was really not likely that he’d ever be at Izzy’s for breakfast. ‘My mum used to live in this house when she was a child. It was really special to her. Even though she lived here on her own at the end of her life, she said it always felt cosy, and never too big.’
Izzy looked around the room. ‘It’s funny, I can tell from her things here that your mum was a lovely person, and there’s a wonderful atmosphere. But the things up here feel like they belong in the rest of the house somehow.’
Xander picked up a small angle poise lamp. ‘Maybe I’ll take this down for the desk while I’m here. She always used this to read in bed.’ He smiled at Izzy. ‘She was so dynamic, she loved searching round for vintage things – you’d have got on well. Come on down, we’ll see how this fits in the office.’
Not that he was playing for time, trying to keep Izzy here. Except that’s exactly what he was doing. There was something he needed to tell her too. Now that she’d finished all her work here, and was about to leave, his chest was tightening with a strange kind of panic. The thought he might never see her again left a kind of shell hole ripping through his chest.
Following her down two flights of stairs, watching the pale nape of her neck under the cork screw strands of her pony tail, and not touching her, was sheer hell, but he loved every damned step of it.
‘I think we need to talk.’ By the time they sidled into the office his voice was low, and grating.
He just hoped she’d be prepared to listen. He’d done the decent thing, and made his point, and told her straight that he wasn’t having sex with her again because he had nothing to offer, and it was entirely unfair on her, and maybe him too. But right now a different kind of instinct had kicked in altogether, because no more sex wasn’t something he could bear the thought of either. He clunked the lamp down on the desk, and spun around to face her as she accidentally jolted into him. He grasped his hands around the warmth of her waist, and she didn’t pull away. As his fingers slipped across the silky skin under her t-shirt, he could smell the familiar sweetness of her hair.
‘Talk? What about?’
He had a lot of ground to make up. ‘About before. The things I said, at your house?’
‘Mmmm?’
The tilt of her head, and the way she narrowed her eyes with only the merest glint of a smile, told him she wasn’t going to be letting him off. At least she was still here, still listening.
‘It all still stands. The things I explained. Except the last bit. I’ve changed my mind about that.’ It wasn’t exactly coming out as clearly as he’d hoped.
‘Sorry?’ If she carried on biting onto her pout like that he might just come on the spot.
‘What I’m saying is I can’t do relationships, and I don’t do commitment, but seeing as we’re here, like this, more of what we did the other night seems like a natural thing to do. If you’d like to, that is?’ He was smiling now, broadly, hearing the absurdity of his words. He had a funny feeling that she was about to smile too.
As she leaned back against his locked arms he could hear her heart, clattering like a pneumatic drill in her chest.
‘Same as the other day, I’m pretty much with you on all of that.’ She was smiling like a girl who’d just been offered the only thing in life she wanted right at this moment. ‘One last time, just before I go, might suit me too.’
He raised his thumb, grazed her cheek bone, and felt her shudder. Sliding his hand around her head to clasp a tangle of waves, he tilted her face upwards. She had those smoky flecks in her eyes again. And dark, dilated pupils that made him catch his breath. Made his stomach double-flip.
His words were husky. ‘You wouldn’t happen to have another condom in that bag of yours?’
He heard her ragged inhalation, as her lips parted, and he saw she was nodding.
39
Thursday, 19th June
Postcard from Dida in Assisi to The Crew, Vintage at the Cinema
Snatching a delicious day alone in Assisi…Sitting on the steps at the Temple of Minerva, in the Piazza del Comune, eating a gelato. Company wonderfully civilised, hotels fab, food yummy, scenery sensational, oregano AMAZING. Best hols ever! Wish you were all here too. Love D xx
40
Friday Afternoon, 20th June
LUCE & IZZY
Working at the cinema
Loose change and a ton of bricks
‘How’s the unloading going, and are you ready for a drink yet?’ Luce, perched on a high stool at the counter, work box in front of her, was sewing as she looked after the till.
‘Almost done, a tea would be awesome thanks.’ Izzy’s reply came from somewhere behind the Lloyd Loom chair she was lugging down the shop. ‘I’ll keep an eye here if you get drinks.’
For the last half hour Izzy had been dashing between the shop and van, bringing in the immediately saleable parts of a house clearance she’d done this morning.
Luce eased herself down from her seat, and when she came back with the drinks, Izzy was propping some step ladders by the doorway.
‘I wonder how Dida’s getting on.’ Luce plonked the mugs on the counter. Talking about Dida might just bring the conversation round to Ollie.
‘Poor Dida, she really didn’t want to go.’ Izzy frowned. ‘Do you think she’s heard back from the bank yet?’
‘Probably not.’ Even Luce, with her non-business brain, knew it was too early for that.
Given she’d asked the same question every day this week, Izzy was definitely anxious about the bank though at least she seemed to have forgotten about Ruby’s postcards. Luce was desperate to find out if Izzy had heard from Ollie lately, because since Luce sent Ollie that damned email in the early hours she’d been checking her inbox every five minutes, and eight days later, he still hadn’t replied.
Izzy took a slurp of tea, and began to write down stock numbers. ‘I can’t imagine Dida on a bike, but knowing how Dida pops life’s lemons straight into her g and t’s, I guess she’ll have made a bee line for the nearest pool and won’t move for the week.’
‘So did you finish all your bunting?’ Luce knew the dark circles under Izzy’s eyes were a giveaway. No doubt she’d been working round the clock to get it done, and maybe that also explained why she was less bouncy than usual. The fact she hadn’t heard Izzy swearing or sounding off at all yet today was a definite indication that Izzy’s energy levels were low.
‘I took the bunting round on Monday, and that’s the end of The Pink House cash cow.’ Izzy gave a vis
ible shudder.
‘That’s it? Really?’ Luce put down the needle she was threading. ‘And what about Xander then? You should so get in there girl, he’s one dream boat that’s too good to miss.’
Izzy gave a diffident shrug. ‘Ship’s already sailed…back to London.’ She hesitated. ‘Not that it’s anything to do with me.’ She stuck her chin in the air just to underline the fact.
‘Well, fuck me…’ The f-word was out before Luce could stop it, but it was simply a measure of her frustration. ‘Sometimes you drive me right around the bend, Izzy Mellor, do you know that? On a plate, and you let him go? I know you’d have had the hottest time with Xander if you’d given it a go, don’t ask me how, I just do.’ It needed saying, and now Luce had done it.
‘Fifty pence.’ Izzy’s face was expressionless.
‘What?’ Luce didn’t understand what she meant. She might be wrong, but wasn’t that the faintest flush on Izzy’s cheeks, between the freckles?
As Izzy waggled a jar of change under Luce’s nose, a smile was spreading across her face. ‘The f-word costs fifty pence, believe me I’ve said it enough times to know. This whole swear box thing was your idea, and if you can’t take the heat, keep out of the kitchen.’ Izzy began to giggle.
One of Izzy’s giggling fits was the last thing Luce needed.
‘Okay, you got me.’ Luce dipped into her skirt pocket for change, and clinked some coins into the jar. ‘But you’d better keep the manic shrieking down, there’s a customer on the pavement, you don’t want to scare them off.’
As Izzy looked over to the door her laughter faltered, then turned into a groan. ‘Shit, shit and double shit.’
‘If we’re talking swear boxes, that’s another sixty…’ Luce said grabbing the jar and watched as Izzy’s face went pale. ‘Oh my god, it’s Xander. I thought you said he was in London.’
Izzy, putting a hand to her forehead, wilted visibly. ‘He was. But the only possible reason for him to come in now would be to tell us there’s a bid coming on the cinema.’ She looked as if she was about to faint, and she grabbed Luce’s arm as her voice rose to a squeak. ‘What the hell are we going to do? If there’s an offer, we’re finished.’
Although Luce’s stomach was about to disintegrate, she knew one of them had to stay calm.
‘Right, breathe!’ Luce rapped out the instructions. ‘And don’t start to panic until we hear what he’s got to say, okay?’
Izzy gave some sort of strangled croak in reply, and thankfully when she turned around again she’d composed herself, stuck a fixed smile on her face, and moved into full, if slightly shaky, professional customer-meet-and-greet mode. ‘Hello Xander, what can we help you with today?’
That’s better. For a minute Luce was very proud of how far her she’d brought Izzy. And then she forgot all about that, as it dawned on her that whatever Xander was about to say, he was looking at Izzy as if he’d like to devour her. Whole.
As Izzy brushed her hair out of her eyes, she sent Luce a worried look, then hit Xander with her question, no messing, straight between the eyes.
‘Is someone buying the building? They are, aren’t they? You have to tell us…’
Xander looked as if he didn’t know what she was talking about, then his lips curved.
Something in the warmth of Xander’s smile was patently only for Izzy, but Luce was close enough to catch the way his eyes went dark and very squishy when he looked at her. For a fleeting moment, Luce couldn’t help wishing she had someone to look at her with adoration like that.
He gave a strangely nervous cough. ‘No, it’s nothing to do with the building.’
Izzy almost collapsed in a heap beside Luce. ‘Holy crap why didn’t you say that, we were literally bricking it here.’
So much for being polite to customers. Luce rolled her eyes, and let her own long sigh of relief go too.
Xander’s face creased, apparently with amusement, but he pushed on anyway. ‘Christina loves what you’ve done at The Pink House, and she’d like you to go to France to do some styling on her barn conversion. I don’t suppose you’d consider.… coming down…? Maybe combining it with that trip to France to get stock you mentioned the other day?’
‘Wow, absolutely, that sounds brilliant, we’re crying out for French stuff, of course she…’ Luce started to tail off when she could already see the frown spreading across Izzy’s face. If Izzy blew this she was going to personally throttle her.
‘No…I’m sorry, I couldn’t possibly.’ Izzy’s answer was flat, and horribly decided. And very customer unfriendly. Not at all in the spirit of the Vintage Cinema Club, which was weird, because she was usually so enthusiastic about it, and committed.
Luce, mentally took back everything she’d thought earlier about Izzy’s progress. There were times when Izzy needed someone to knock her out and drag her away, just to stop her ruining her own chances in life, and this was one of them. ‘Izzy, you don’t need to decide this minute, think it over.’
He was with Luce on this. ‘Good idea, I don’t need an answer now, take as long as you need.’
Xander was sounding keen, but at the same time there was an air of quiet determination about him, that Luce liked a lot.
‘No, I don’t need any time, because it’s completely out of the question,’ Izzy replied, steadfastly determined to shoot herself in the foot. ‘I’m, sorry, but you know I have the business, and three brothers, well, two at the moment, seeing as one’s travelling, but I’m not sure he’s enjoying it that much. And whatever your opinion, I know they still need me to look after them…’ Izzy gave Xander a hard scowl at this point. ‘I’m completely over stretched, and I can’t take on anything else. End of.’
What? A tiny piece of unexpected news about Ollie had Luce’s heart flipping. She clamped her mouth shut, to stop her jaw sagging, and hugged her arms around her waist. One little throwaway sentence from Izzy, that probably meant nothing, but it was the best news she’d had in the five months since Ollie left, and dammit if she was a selfish cow for being pleased he wasn’t having the ball she’d imagined he was.
And meanwhile Izzy was talking herself out of…Maybe it wasn’t the opportunity of a lifetime, but it would mean French stock for the cinema, which could only be good for all of them, and if it meant Izzy got another crack at Xander, it looked all good from where Luce was standing. And she’d be keeping the so called enemy close, although Luce wasn’t sure if he still qualified as that.
‘I understand…’ Xander narrowed his eyes at Izzy. ‘I knew it was a long shot.’
Please don’t give up on her that easily. Luce’s immediate instinct to wail and shout in protest really wasn’t in line with everything she preached. But somehow Luce didn’t have Xander down as a quitter either. His gooey eyes had gone now, and his mouth had hardened into one straight, determined line.
‘We definitely don’t have to say “no” now, we could talk about this some more.’ Luce knew she was sounding desperate, but then she was.
Izzy gave a head toss. ‘It’s always going to be “no” I’m afraid.’
Luce looked around, wishing there was someone who could leap in and gag her friend. She jumped forward. Sometimes there was nothing else for it, you had to be rude, to be radical.
‘Let’s talk about this on the way back to your car.’ Luce gave Xander a meaningful nod. ‘Are you parked anywhere near?’ With any luck he would get where she was coming from.
‘Just outside actually.’ Xander took the opportunity and ran with it. ‘Sorry, I don’t know your name?’
‘Luce, I’m Luce.’ She was already out on the pavement, arms flapping, willing Xander to come away from Izzy.
Luce blew her fringe into the air with relief, as he stuffed his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, and ambled out into the sun.
‘No definitely isn’t her final answer.’ Luce was aware that she might be gabbling now, in her efforts to make her point before Xander drove off in a cloud of diesel fumes, taking Luce�
�s hopes with her. ‘Give me a day or two, and I’m sure I’ll change her mind.’
Xander eased himself into the driving seat. ‘I get where you’re coming from, thanks for giving me the heads up.’ He raked his fingers through his hair. ‘Leave this with me. I’ll work something out, and I’ll be in touch.’
Luce hoped he was serious.
41
Saturday Afternoon, 21st June
To: Vintage at the Cinema Crew
Subject: Coup de Coeur
Hi guys,
The future Mrs Joe Kerr has been in for a wedding dress fitting. If we thought GI Joe’s was going to be bijou i.e. a teensy shop the size of a tanning booth we were VERY wrong…They have BIG PLANS – three floors, AND the basement, which will be bifold doors leading out onto a terrace by the river, with an outdoor sales area for garden furniture and statues. :(
Love Luce xx
42
Monday Afternoon, 23rd June
LUCE & DIDA
At the cinema
No flirting at all
Wow, it was clear that the boss was back in town. Luce, taking refuge behind a rack of clothes, and making a big deal of checking every label, could hear the regular stomp of Dida’s heels on the wooden floors, as she careered around the cinema, checking everything out. Except it wasn’t checking up, it was more reconnecting. Readjusting to being home again. That was what Luce called it. And even more important to reconnect this time, given that the cinema might be ripped away from them any day.
‘Luce…?’ Dida, was back behind the counter, her circuit completed, slamming through the various ledgers, and obviously in need of a sounding board.
‘Over here.’ Luce popped her head over the parapet of dresses, negotiated an ocean of dressing tables, and arrived next to the counter.
Dida looked at Luce expectantly. ‘That For Sale board outside turns my heart to stone every time I see it.’ She gave a long body shudder, before she pulled herself up, and carried on. ‘So first, did you hear from Ollie?’