“I’m happy with the cookies,” Landon replied, sitting on a stool and grabbing a chocolate chip cookie. “How much do you guys know?”
“So far we only know that Thistle, Clove and Bay snuck out of the house and went to the senior center,” Mom said. “Then they called you because someone died, and you took off like a crazy person.”
“I didn’t take off like a crazy person,” Landon argued, holding my stool steady so I could sit next to him. He broke his cookie in half to offer me a treat. “You only get half because I need the sugar.”
“Oh, so cute,” Twila said, her eyes twinkling.
“Yes, it’s adorable,” Mom deadpanned.
“Oh, come on,” Twila prodded. “There aren’t a lot of men who would go after their girlfriend after she snuck out like Bay did. He’s adorable.”
“Hmph.” Mom crossed her arms over her chest. She was in her pajamas, and I guessed she’d been spouting a litany of anger framed around my subterfuge during my absence.
“I am adorable,” Landon agreed, briefly leaning forward and resting his forehead against mine before turning to everyone else in the room. “Do you want the long or short story?”
“Short,” everyone said in unison.
“You’re on, Bay,” Landon said.
“We went to the senior center to cast a truth spell because we believe Patty and Aunt Tillie share some secret that might shed light on what’s happening,” I volunteered. “We also believe Mrs. Little knows about it, so we thought other people might be able to tell us the big secret.
“Clove used a bit too much graveyard dust in the spell and Viola Hendricks told us some freaky things, including how she’s acrobatic in the bedroom and uses a mirror to stare at her … um … private parts when she wants to get in touch with her femininity,” I continued.
Landon barked out a laugh. “You didn’t tell me that part.”
“That’s because there was no way I could in front of Noah.”
“Fair enough,” Landon said, reaching for another cookie. “Continue.”
“Viola said Mrs. Little doesn’t confide in anyone because she’s suspicious they’re all working against her,” I said. “That seems to be true because Viola admitted working against her.
“Anyway, she said that Fay was probably the only one who knew the secret,” I continued. “I think Viola probably knows too, but her memory is shot and she most likely forgot it. That’s not important to the story, though.”
“This is the short version?” Marnie challenged. “I’d hate to hear the long version.”
“You would,” I agreed. “That involved Clove whining about having to collect the graveyard dust and Thistle melting down because Clove feels left out.”
“Oh, good grief,” Mom said, making a face. “Get to the important part, Bay. You get this dramatic storytelling thing you do from Aunt Tillie. It’s not attractive.”
“That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me,” I groused.
“I can get meaner,” Mom warned.
“Fine,” I said, rolling my eyes so hard I worried I would topple off the stool. “We headed toward the bathroom and Thistle tripped going inside. She tripped over Fay’s feet. She was dead in the corner. She’d been … stabbed.”
“That’s awful,” Twila said, horrified. “Where is Thistle now? She must be upset.”
“She’s drinking in the library with Marcus,” Landon replied. “I would give them a few minutes alone. Thistle is on the edge.”
“Well, that’s not nearly as bad as I expected,” Mom said. “It’s not great, and I wish you would’ve asked me about this purported secret before you went on another of your little adventures, but it’s not terrible.”
“I don’t think Fay feels the same way,” I said.
Mom’s expression softened. “You know what I mean,” she said. “Aunt Tillie wasn’t exactly tight with that crowd growing up, but they all knew each other. She and Margaret Little have hated each other for as long as I can remember. I can’t recollect strife with Patty, though, and I’ve been racking my memory for hints of it. It’s just … not there.”
“They called each other names at Patty’s house the other day,” I pointed out. “It was not pleasant. I’ve been considering going back out there to question Patty, but … .” I cast a leery look in Landon’s direction.
“Don’t go back out there, Bay,” Landon said. “Noah is threatening to set up cameras, and while he says he hasn’t done it yet I’m not sure I believe him. He seems desperate to get dirt on Aunt Tillie, and I think he’s willing to leave me out of the information loop to get it.”
“We need information, though,” I pressed.
“Well, we’ll just ask Aunt Tillie about it tomorrow,” Mom said. “She probably won’t answer, but there’s no harm in asking.”
“Where is she?” Landon asked. “I’m stunned she’s not here asking questions.
“She went back to the guesthouse to watch The Walking Dead marathon,” Marnie answered. “She’s agitated because of Noah’s presence, but she doesn’t want to admit it.”
“She keeps saying she’s having a grand time at the guesthouse, but I can tell she hates it,” Twila added. “She wants to come home.”
I glanced at Landon, conflicted. They needed to know about Noah’s new suspicions, but I dreaded telling them.
“Go ahead,” Landon said, squeezing my hand. “Don’t put it off.”
“Don’t put what off?” Mom asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
“They’ll kick him out.”
“I think that’s the best option for us right now,” Landon said. “I wanted him close because I thought I could control him. It’s become obvious I can’t. There’s no reason to keep him here now. He needs some repercussions for his attitude.”
“Oh, I’m already not liking this,” Mom said. “Spill it, Bay.”
“The good news is that Noah doesn’t think Aunt Tillie was involved in Fay’s death because she was out here at the inn with him at the time of the murder,” I said, licking my lips.
“I hardly see that as good news. He would have to be a moron to think otherwise,” Mom said.
“Wait for it,” Landon interjected.
“The bad news is that now he thinks Thistle, Clove and I murdered Fay as a way to direct suspicion away from Aunt Tillie,” I said. “He flat out told us that at the senior center.”
Mom, Marnie and Twila remained silent for a moment, taking me by surprise. It was short lived, because utter pandemonium broke out not long after.
“What is wrong with him?” Twila exploded.
“He is the king of the idiots,” Marnie said.
“That does it!” Mom slapped her hands down on the kitchen table. “He’s out of here!”
“I told you,” I said, shifting a sidelong look in Landon’s direction. “We can’t take it back now.”
“I don’t want to take it back,” Landon said, brushing my hair out of my face. “Noah’s presence here makes everyone tense. This place is tense enough without him. He can stay somewhere else.”
“Where is he?” Mom asked, hopping to her feet. “I’m going to … .” She broke off and mimed something that could either be an odd form of kickboxing or a really bad performance in the gymnastics floor routine at the Olympics.
“He’s questioning everyone at the dance,” Landon replied. “I left him there because I’m unhappy with him. He’ll probably be at least another hour. He says he’s going to get everyone on the record before letting them go, but there’s no way it will really happen.”
“Especially since it’s ten at night and all of the seniors need to be in bed before the late news,” I said.
“That’s stereotyping,” Mom said, cuffing the back of my head. “It’s probably true, though.” Her expression was thoughtful. “Okay. No one panic. This guy is an idiot. We know how to handle idiots.”
“Are we going to bury him in the back yard?” Marnie asked, her expression hopeful. “We can
plant rose bushes over him so no one will ever know.”
“No,” Mom said. “I have everything under control. Don’t worry. This is going to be fun.”
She stormed out of the kitchen in the direction of the main inn, Marnie and Twila close behind. I waited until they were gone to turn my gaze to Landon. “Tell me what you really think. Are you worried?”
“I’m actually looking forward to this, Bay,” Landon said. “Noah isn’t going to learn until he gets taken down a peg or two. I think your mother is exactly the person to do it.”
I wasn’t convinced. “You have to be worried.”
“The only thing I’m worried about is getting five minutes alone with you,” Landon said, grabbing another cookie. “Let’s take advantage of the solitude and share some sugar.”
The double meaning wasn’t lost on me, so I cocked a challenging eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”
Landon snapped the cookie in half and took a bite before swooping in and giving me a hot kiss. “Just wait and see, little missy,” he said once we parted. “I think you’ll enjoy it, too.”
AN HOUR later Landon and I sat on the library couch while Thistle rested on Marcus’ lap, trying to drink her weight in whiskey. She would have a raging hangover tomorrow, but Marcus didn’t take the glass away – although I did notice him watering the whiskey before giving her another glass. Thistle didn’t want to talk about discovering Fay’s body. That meltdown was soon to come.
As much as I wanted to return to the guesthouse and sleep, Landon was insistent we wait for Noah’s return. I thought it would be much later than it was when he poked his head into the room, but Landon’s smirk told me Noah was right on schedule for what he expected.
“I’m surprised you’re all up,” Noah said. “I suppose you want to hear my findings.”
“I’m here to drink,” Thistle said, lifting her glass for emphasis. “We only have chocolate martinis at the guesthouse, but I wanted something harder.”
“That’s the last one,” Marcus said, finally stepping in. “You’ll be able to pass out now.”
“Yes, but I’ll still be able to dream,” Thistle complained.
Marcus ran his hand down the back of her head, torn for a moment before making up his mind. “You’ll thank me in the morning,” he said. “This is the last one.”
I thought Thistle would argue, but she merely nodded. “Fine.”
“Well, I’m sure you waited up to hear my findings,” Noah said, turning his attention to Landon. “Perhaps we should go to my room to discuss them so none of the … ahem, suspects … hear our plan of action.”
By all outward appearances Landon was unruffled. Deep down I knew he was irritated, though.
“I’m here to spend time with Bay and eat cookies,” Landon said. “In a few minutes we’re going to bed. You can brief me on your findings – and I’m sure they’ll be marvelous – when we meet at the police station tomorrow morning.”
“Why can’t I brief you now?” Noah pressed. “You’re up.”
“Because I’m busy with something more fun,” Landon said, tickling my ribs and causing me to giggle. “I’m off the clock. In fact, I’m fraternizing with the enemy.”
“I can see that,” Noah said dryly, shaking his head. “Well, is there a reason we can’t discuss things before breakfast tomorrow? I want to get an early start.”
“There’s only one reason I can think of why we can’t do that,” Landon replied.
Noah lifted an eyebrow. “Which is?”
“You won’t be here,” Landon said.
Noah’s countenance shifted from irritation to confusion. “What does that mean?”
“Just that you’re out of here,” Mom said, appearing behind Noah and dropping his bag on his foot. I got the distinct impression she wanted to kick him for good measure, but she showed amazing restraint.
“I … don’t understand,” Noah said, his gaze bouncing between Mom and Landon. “What’s going on?”
“What’s going on is that you’re no longer welcome here,” Mom said, not missing a beat. “We have the right to refuse service, and we’re refusing it to you.”
“That’s right,” Twila said, rubbing her hands together. “Shame! We never refuse service. Well … maybe once. You’re in terrible company.”
“That’s because he’s an idiot,” Marnie said, kicking his bag and causing it to hop off the ground. “We took a vote while you were gone. Because you believe our children are murderers, I’m sure you can guess how the vote went.”
“It wasn’t even close,” Twila said.
“If it’s any consolation, I abstained,” Landon said, rubbing his thumb against my cheek. “I only did it because I didn’t want to break any FBI rules I might not be aware of. Otherwise I would’ve voted with everyone else.”
“And that’s why you get as much bacon as you can eat tomorrow morning,” Mom said, winking.
“Be still my heart,” Landon said, grinning. “I might leave you for your mother, Bay. She keeps me in bacon.”
“You can’t be serious,” Noah said, glancing around the room as if looking for hidden cameras. “It’s the middle of the night. Where am I supposed to stay?”
“You have a car,” Mom said. “If you keep it in our parking lot, though, we’ll have it towed.”
“I think you’re being incredibly immature,” Noah said, although he picked up his bag. “I can see reasoning with you when you’re in this … state … is wasted effort, though.”
“You haven’t seen incredibly immature yet,” Thistle offered. “That’ll come when Aunt Tillie finds out.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “She takes people going after us a lot worse than she does people going after her. She’s going to turn into a demon.”
“Maybe even a literal one,” Thistle said, finishing her glass of whiskey and hopping off Marcus’ lap. “Let’s go to bed. I’m ready for sleep.”
Marcus smiled as he scooped up her diminutive frame and carried her toward the door. “You’re not going to puke, right?”
“I don’t know,” Thistle admitted. “If I do, it will be the second adventure of the day, and no matter how disgusting the outcome, it will still be better than the first.”
“I can live with that,” Marcus said, disappearing around the corner as Thistle nonsensically chattered away.
“I’m sure you’ll feel differently in the morning,” Noah said, moving toward the front door. “We’ll talk then.”
“You’re not allowed on this property without a warrant,” Mom said. “I’m not kidding. I will press charges. You’ve been duly warned in front of witnesses.”
Noah’s mouth fell open. “But … .”
“Get out!” Mom pointed at the door, her face red. “Don’t threaten my family and expect to stay under my roof. I don’t want to see you again.”
Noah glanced at Landon, desperate. “Don’t you want to say something?”
“I’ll see you at the police station after breakfast,” Landon said, grabbing my hand as he pulled me to a standing position. “Let’s go to bed, sweetie. I’m exhausted.”
“Okay,” I said, reaching for my purse. It was heavier than I expected, and that’s when I remembered the gift Thistle gave me for Landon before we went into the senior center. “By the way, Thistle made this for you.” I dug in the purse and returned with a hefty candle. It was shaped like a witch’s conical hat.
Landon took it, his brow furrowed, and lifted it to his nose. “This smells like bacon.”
“I know,” I said. “Thistle found an oil and made the candle just for you. She’s even going to put some in the shop if you like it because a lot of people love the scent of bacon.”
Landon’s face split with an impish grin. “I’m getting a second wind, sweetie,” he said, grabbing my hand. “Let’s put the candle to good use and then go to bed.”
Noah was flummoxed as Landon led me past him. “What about me?”
Landon paused by the door. “Sweet dreams.”<
br />
Twenty-Three
“What are you doing today?” I asked the next morning, shaking my head as Landon inhaled what had to be a pound of bacon. “You’re killing yourself with all of that fat and salt, by the way.”
Landon poked my side. “Shh. You’re ruining my happy morning.”
“What are you going to do today?” Mom asked, skirting her eyes to Aunt Tillie’s empty seat before craning her neck to scan the hallway. Once Aunt Tillie found out Noah was out of the inn she couldn’t wait to move back. She was at the guesthouse collecting her things. We all worried she would pop up and eavesdrop when we least expected it. “I asked Aunt Tillie about her past with Patty in the kitchen this morning, by the way, and she completely blew off the question.”
“That can’t surprise you,” Landon said, licking his fingers and causing Mom to scowl. “She’s hiding something. She always digs in her heels when she’s hiding something.”
“You know there are napkins, right?” Mom asked, making a face that caused me to stare at my coffee for fear I would burst into gales of hysterical laughter.
“You cooked the bacon for me,” Landon said. “It’s really your fault because you’re the best cook in the world and I can’t control myself.”
Despite herself, Mom preened under the compliment. “Oh, well, thank you.”
“Smooth,” I said.
“And don’t you forget it,” Landon said, kissing my cheek. He was in a remarkably good mood for a man I knew would face a verbal onslaught once he met up with Noah at the police station in an hour.
“I’m going to talk to Edith,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “She was around back then, too. I realized last night while Landon was making out with his candle that I only asked about Aunt Tillie and Patty specifically before Noah distracted Edith. She probably knows a lot more.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Mom said. “Edith is predisposed to dislike Aunt Tillie, though.”
“Mom, don’t kid yourself,” I said. “Most of the town is predisposed to dislike Aunt Tillie. I can’t let that stand in the way.”
Charms & Witchdemeanors (Wicked Witches of the Midwest Book 8) Page 21