by M. Leighton
I don’t know if she was dragging it out because of me, but if she was, that just means it’s even better that it’s over. At least for her. I’m no good for her. I knew that going in. I thought she did, too.
As for me, I’ll just have to scratch this itch somewhere else. No, I’ve never had a woman get under my skin like this, but as I’ve heard numerous times throughout my life, I’m better off alone. And that means fleeting interludes with women, not real relationships. Nothing lasting. Certainly nothing permanent. And that’s what Laney needs—forever. What she’s ultimately after in life. And I just can’t be that for her. So the best thing I can do is step aside and let someone who can give her that have a chance to do it.
But knowing all this, knowing that it makes the most sense from every perspective, doesn’t make it bother me any less. The fact is, I don’t want to scratch this itch with someone else. I wanted to get it out of my system with Laney. Sort of overdose it. Overdose with her. Flood my body with her until I didn’t crave her anymore.
Damn that woman! What the hell has she done to me?
TWENTY-ONE: Laney
It’s been nearly a week and no Jake. Deep down, I knew—I just knew—that he had feelings for me. I would’ve bet money on it. We had settled into what was very close to a marriage for a while. And he was thriving and happy. Or at least he seemed to be. But evidently I was wrong.
He hasn’t been by to see me in the hospital since that first day, when my father acted so horribly. He hasn’t called. Hasn’t returned any of my calls. He just disappeared. Like he never was.
Only I can’t seem to forget him. I can’t pretend that he never was, because to my heart, he still is.
I lay my cell phone to the side. There’s no point in leaving him any more messages. It’s obvious that he’s done with me. I just need to let it go.
I roll onto my side, willing myself not to cry, not to shed one more tear over him. I hear a throat clear behind me and my heart stutters. But when I turn over, I see Tori standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” I say, unenthused.
My lack of zeal has nothing to do with her. I’m very ready to forgive her and move on. It has everything to do with the fact that she’s not Jake. But she can’t help that. Only Jake can fix that.
“I was going to stay away, but . . .”
She eases into the room, and I scoot into a sitting position in the bed, patting the space beside my legs. She gives me a small smile and comes to sit with me.
“So, how are things with you?” I ask.
Tori tilts her head to the side and gives me a disdainful look. “I’m not here to talk about my boring life. I’m here to visit my best friend who got bitten by a snake in the woods with Jake Theopolis.” Tori’s mouth drops open and her eyes sparkle. “Oh my God, Laney! You always said when you went wild, you’d do it your way. You weren’t kidding.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Where’d you hear about that?”
“Well, your parents could only keep things hush-hush for a while. With you in such a public place as a hospital, there was nothing they could do to keep word from spreading. And spread it did!”
I lay my head back against the pillows and close my eyes. “Great,” I sigh.
“Nah, it’s not that bad. Pretty much everyone sees you as the victim. You know, big bad Jake lures sweet, innocent Laney into a trap.”
“This town . . . Why am I not surprised?”
Tori shrugs and pushes her long hair back over her shoulder. “This is the kind of place that needs a villain. And Jake has always given them one. You know, taking advantage of girls.” She snorts and adds, “As if he’d even have to ask twice.”
I smile but say nothing.
A slow, mischievous grin creeps over Tori’s face. “So, you wouldn’t be willing to throw a girl a bone, would you? Tell me all about it?”
I give her a sad smile. “It’s nothing you’d want to hear about.”
Her eyes get big as saucers. “Are you kidding me? Laney, I’ve wanted to be on that guy’s radar since kindergarten!”
I grin. “You have not.”
She gives me a dubious look. “Laney. Come on. You know I developed early . . .”
She makes a good point. “For you and your hormones, kindergarten is probably right.”
Tori gets a wistful look on her face and stares out into space. “Ahhh, the third grader that woke my sleeping body . . .”
That makes me giggle. “I don’t think even you were quite that bad.”
Tori palms her generous chest and gives them a shake. “I had boobs by the time I was nine. Trust me, everything else was just as early.” Smiling, I just shake my head at her. “So come on. Spill.”
I feel my smile die. What happened between me and Jake wasn’t just a sexy sidetrack in my life. Sharing it with Tori would just make it feel dirty and . . . well . . . just less. “Nah, there’s nothing really to spill.” I fiddle with the edge of the sheet, avoiding her eyes.
I hear her gasp as she grabs my hand and stills it. “You didn’t fall in love with him, did you?”
My eyes sting. Even Tori thinks I made a mistake. Is it so impossible that Jake could ever love someone like me?
It must be.
Tori says nothing for a couple of long minutes, minutes that give me time to collect myself.
“You know, Laney, I was thinking about the stuff with Shane. I hate to even bring it up again, but maybe you should just forget everything I said, forget everything that happened and give the guy another chance. I don’t want for you to miss out on your happy ending because of what I did or what I think. That’s a decision you need to make on your own, without my help and input.”
I growl in frustration. “Not you, too!”
“I’m not saying you should marry the guy or take him back with open arms. I’m just saying that maybe you ought to at least give it one more chance. See how you feel. See how things go. I couldn’t live with myself if I thought I cost you the dream you’ve had since childhood.”
I meet Tori’s bright, sincere blue eyes. People have always said we look a lot alike, only Tori’s more vibrant. I know most meant it with regard to coloring, but I’ve always felt like I pale in comparison to her in every way. Shane choosing a free spirit like her only underscored it.
But now, just because I don’t want to be the sweet goody-goody anymore doesn’t mean I’m cut out to be vibrant like her. Someone who could ever hold the interest of Jake. Maybe I was overreaching by thinking someone like him could settle down with someone like me. Or settle down at all.
“Maybe my dream changed, Tor.”
She gives my hand a squeeze. “Just make sure, Laney. Make sure you’re doing things for the right reasons. Don’t let me sway you. Or your dad. Or anyone else. Do what makes you happy.”
Already, a plan is forming in my mind. I lean forward, giving my friend a smile. “You know what would make me happy?”
“What’s that?”
“A birthday party.”
“You’re in the hospital, Laney. I hardly think—”
“I mean when I get out. A belated birthday party.”
Tori’s face lights up. “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.”
TWENTY-TWO: Jake
It’s been well over a week since I’ve seen or talked to Laney. There’s a guy at the market who knows her dad, and he says she’s recovering very well so I know she’s fine. And I know I’m doing the right thing by keeping my distance, but she’s not making it easy.
I listen to her message. She left several earlier on, each of which was light and fun, even though I know she was bothered by my sudden disappearance. But this one is the only one I’ve listened to more than once. This is the one that’s tempting me. It came in after I hadn’t heard from her for a day or two. And the tone is just . . . different.
Hey, Jake. It’s Laney. Since my leg is doing so much better, I got out of the hospital yesterday. One of my friends is throwing me a little belated birth
day party at Lucky’s Thursday night. I hope you can come. I’d like to buy you a drink before I leave.
Before she leaves. She’s going back home. Back to her real life. The life she had before she met me. She’s ready to move on. Surely it would be all right for me to go and have one drink with her, wish her a happy birthday.
Surely.
I don’t call her back, but I already know where I’ll be Thursday night.
Saying my good-byes.
TWENTY-THREE: Laney
My leg looks almost totally back to normal. The swelling around my knee is almost gone. Gone enough for me to wear a cute little skirt.
I know I shouldn’t be setting myself up this way—wearing a skirt just because Jake always said he loved my legs, hoping to spur him into a confession of love if I make one first—but I can’t help it. I’ve never really taken any huge risks in life until I met Jake. And this is the most important one of all. I have to tell him how I feel. Even though I cringe at the thought of making a fool of myself, I have to do it. I might not get another chance. When things are settled up with the orchard, Jake might leave, and I’ll never be able to track him down. It’s now or never.
And I choose now.
Because I can’t stand the thought of living with the never.
Putting a few more curls in my hair and then piling it all up on top of my head, I spray some perfume at my throat, give my lips a coat of gloss, and then make my way to the door.
I guess this is as ready as I’ll ever be.
TWENTY-FOUR: Jake
When I walk through the door at Lucky’s, I search the crowd for Laney’s familiar blond head. She’s at a table in the corner, laughing with some friends. There are eight or ten people there with her. Some look like faces I remember seeing in high school. Maybe in one of the classes behind me. Probably Laney’s age.
I make my way to the bar. I see several familiar faces here. This was my element before I left, starting with my first fake ID that everyone knew was fake, but didn’t care. I always ran with the older, wilder crowd.
“Well, if it isn’t Jake Theopolis,” the girl behind the bar purrs. Her name is Lila something. She’s a good ten years older than me. We had a thing when I was still in high school. I’m sure she had “things” with a lot of guys around town. “Where you been, sugah?”
I slide onto a bar stool. “Around. Working mostly. Gimme a beer. Whatever you’ve got on tap is fine.”
Her heavily made-up green eyes flicker back to me several times as she pours my beer. “This one’s on the house,” she says, placing it on a napkin in front of me. “Call it a welcome home present. The first of a few.” She winks at me, which tells me that one of my presents will be her. Naked. Riding me like a wild stallion. I remember that about her. She likes it on top.
Unbidden, a vision of Laney on top of me interrupts. I frown.
Damn the woman!
I glance over at her table. She’s preoccupied with her company. I’ll wait and talk to her when she’s alone. Or at least a little more alone.
“Did I hear her say you’re Jake Theopolis?” a voice asks from my right. I turn to see a guy lean on the stool next to me. “Single malt scotch, neat,” he says to Lila, tossing a bill on the bar.
“Yep, that’s me,” I tell him, taking a sip of my beer. There’s something about him that I don’t like right off the bat. I’m not sure if it’s the perfectly combed hair that’s undoubtedly loaded with all kinds of styling shit, or if it’s the dress shirt with unloosened tie that makes me think he’s a pretentious asshole. But something about him makes my lip want to curl. “Do I know you?” I ask, knowing full well that I don’t.
“No, but I think you know my fiancée.”
I arch my brow at him, doubting very much that I do. “Oh yeah? And who’s that?” I sip my beer, wishing the guy would just take the hell off before he makes me get rude.
“Laney Holt.”
It’s all I can do not to spit a mouthful of beer all over the bar in front of me.
“Laney Holt is your fiancée?”
“Yep. We got engaged a few months back. Had a little bit of a misunderstanding before she came back here to sort out on your family’s case, but we got things worked out while she was in the hospital. Now I’m hoping we can set the date and get this thing done.”
Get this thing done?
He makes it sound more like a formality than the day when he’ll pledge his undying devotion to the love of his life.
“Is that right?”
“Yeah, that’s right,” he says, sipping the scotch that Lila just set in front of him. He leans in toward me, his eyes suddenly flat. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you two while we were . . . having problems, but you need to know that it’s over. Laney Holt will be my wife. And there’s nothing you can do to stop it. There’s no need for you to make a fool of yourself by trying. Just let it go and I won’t have any reason to pay you a visit.”
I turn on my seat to fully face this guy. “Surely you didn’t just make the mistake of threatening me.”
“It’s only a threat if you choose to pursue Laney. If you walk away, I’m man enough to say no harm, no foul. I’ve forgiven her. End of story. Now you just need to walk away.”
For a dozen different reasons, everything in me wants to break this jackass’s jaw like it’s made of glass. But even though I don’t quite believe this guy, something is making me pause. Why would he say these things if they weren’t true, knowing that Laney is close and all I’d have to do is go ask her?
As much as it pains me to engage in civilized conversation with him, I grit my teeth and do it. I need to know if he’s telling the truth. I need to know if Laney really has moved on.
“You’ll understand if I need a little more than just your word to go on,” I tell him tightly.
His smile is as hard as his cold gray eyes. “Of course.” He glances at the table where Laney’s sitting. One of the girls sitting near her looks in our direction. I see this guy, Shane I think his name was, motion for her. The girl grabs her empty glass, says something to one of the others, and then heads our way.
“Harmony, you go to church with Laney, right? You two have been friends for years, right?”
Harmony, a small girl with springy black hair, looks around nervously. “Hush with the name calling, Shane. You know my mother would kill me if she found out I was here.”
“We’re not telling anybody anything. I just wanted you to clear up something for my friend here. He doesn’t believe that Laney and I got engaged. He thinks I’m still the same guy from college. You know, the confirmed bachelor.” The guy winks at her conspiratorially, making me think that what happened with him and Laney’s friend, Tori, was probably legitimate on his part. I’d say this son of a bitch is a creeper. I’d be willing to bet on it.
“You two went to college together?” she asks me. “Aren’t you from around here?”
“Yeah, originally, but I moved away a while back.”
“Ohhh,” she says, eyeing me appreciatively. “Well, sorry. You’re gonna lose the bet. Shane and Laney have been engaged for months. No one knew what to think when she showed up at church without him those few times. We couldn’t believe she’d let a guy like Shane go.”
She gives him a smile and Shane winks at her. I want to puke.
“You’re sweet, Harmony,” Shane oozes, “but it all worked out in the end. Thanks for clearing that up, honey.”
“Sure,” Harmony chirps, sliding onto a stool to get a refill of her drink.
“It’s on me,” Shane tells Lila, who nods her understanding. “So, any more questions, brother?”
“Just in what orifice you’ll be wanting my foot if you call me brother one more time.”
Shane throws his hands up in surrender, but there’s a smug expression on his face that clearly says he thinks he won.
And I guess, truth be told, he did. I didn’t realize I was even in the game until just now. But this was a much-needed re
ality check. While Laney is far too good for a dirty bastard like this guy, she’s far too good for me, too. And there’s only one of those two things I can help her with.
Not that she needs any help. Laney is perfectly capable of making her own choices. And if she chooses a douche bag like this, then he’s the luckiest douche bag in the world.
I wash that bitter thought down with a long pull of my beer before I toss a couple bills on the bar and get up. “Good seeing you again, Lila,” I say to her, never taking my eyes off Shane. “As for you, all I can tell you is that if you hurt her, you’d better hope to God that you’ve got a damn good hiding place. You don’t want to be seeing me again.” Just to prove my point to both of us, I half lunge at this pompous prick. I grin when he flinches. “That’s what I thought.”
I aim for the door, but as I glance to my right, I see Laney’s platinum head, calling to me like a beacon in the dead of night. Detouring, I make my way over to her, leaning around the person closest to her so I can whisper in her ear. “Happy birthday, Laney. Be happy.”
With a kiss to her cheek, I turn to leave.
“Wait, Jake!” she calls, struggling to get around chairs and bodies. “There’s something I wanted to tell you.”
I put my hand up to stop her. This doesn’t need to go on any longer. I hurt the things I love. That’s why I don’t love. And Laney deserves better. “Don’t bother. I already know.” I give her a wink. “I’ll be heading out soon. Stay and enjoy your party. I’ll see you around.”
And, with that, I turn and walk away, leaving Laney and whatever she might’ve felt for me behind.
TWENTY-FIVE: Laney
A thousand things are running through my head as I watch Jake walk out of the bar. And out of my life.
He said, “See you around,” but we both know that will never happen. Once he goes back home, that’ll be it. I’ll probably never see him again.