Nervous because Mr. Monroe sat so still and observed me without saying a word. Silly because I allowed myself to feel nervous at all. I was the one in charge here, so I adopted Mr. Monroe’s poker face and proceeded in a brisk tone that I hoped would remind us both that I was a teacher and this was my domain.
“Now the main reason I asked you to come in today is a matter of routine, really. I make it a point to meet all of my students’ parents during the first month, that way we can both be on the same page when it comes to their schooling. However, I have a few other concerns about Katie and would need some information from you going forward as to how we can best help her continue to improve.”
“Has she been misbehaving?” Mr. Monroe asked.
“Oh, no. Katie is a darling. Her behavior is nothing to complain about. She doesn’t say much and has never volunteered for anything in class, but neither is she as reluctant anymore when called upon. I’m curious, what is she like at home, Mr. Monroe?”
“Please, call me Declan,” Mr. Monroe invited after a short pause, and I found myself silently agreeing that he did indeed look like a Declan.
I had always found it strange how names had a habit of fitting their owners, almost as though each child grew into their names. Katie was a gentle name for a gentle soul while Tommy had so far lived up to every expectation and been quite the rascal.
But Declan was an appropriate name to call the man who looked just as strong-willed as he was mysterious. Call me silly again, but I felt as though I was missing something. I sensed a strange vibe in the air whispering to me that there was more to this man than met the eyes. But try as I might, I was unable to place a finger on what it was.
Perhaps later it would come to me.
“I imagine Katie is the same at home as she is in school,” I began when Declan didn’t answer. “I’ve always thought about home and school as an extension of one another. Would I be right?”
Declan nodded. “If she leaves school in a good mood then she arrives home in a good mood, and lately I’ve thankfully been seeing her in higher spirits than usual. In fact, I came here today with the intention of finding out why…”
I nodded, not surprised. Declan looked like the type of man who was very used to succeeding when he decided to go after what he wanted.
“Well, I can both be thanked and blamed for that,” I admitted. “You see that African Grey parrot over there?” I pointed at a cage in the corner, where Hamlet, my bird, was being unusually quiet.
Declan and Hamlet both eyed each other, and Declan said, “Huh, I didn’t notice him…”
“I bring him in with me every day. He’s a bit like the class pet, only he never goes home with any students considering what a little troublemaker he is.”
Declan laughed and watched Hamlet as the parrot forcefully threw a sunflower seed out of his cage in a show of strength. “Yeah, he seems to have a certain way about him.”
“Well, Katie was fascinated with him ever since the first day of school. At first neither of them spoke much to each other. Just observed one another, until something strange started happening… Hamlet started encouraging Katie to speak. I didn’t hear a word out of her the first week, but now they both talk up a storm together.”
I paused, waiting while Declan observed the bird perched by the windowsill at the back of the class. I wondered what the other man was thinking.
Probably that he had never heard of such a strange teaching method before.
But hey, even if it was a little unconventional, it worked, which should have been reason enough to not raise any issues about it. Yet, oddly, I found myself apologizing as I continued.
“At first, I thought it was a good thing because Katie came out of her shell by interacting with him. But now I can’t really keep the two apart, and I worry that she might be preoccupied thinking about him even while she’s in another class. Has she said anything to you about Hamlet, Mr. Monroe?”
“Call me Declan,” he half-growled. “Monroe’s what they call me back at the station. And no, she hasn’t made mention of the bird. At most, she talks about the other kids. Oh, and she mentions you a lot too.”
Huh. Well, that was a surprise.
I raised my brow in question and Declan smiled, adding, “Don’t worry. She doesn’t say anything bad. And on top of that, I’ve noticed an improvement in her grades, so Hamlet isn’t interfering as badly as you feared.”
“So you don’t disapprove then?”
“Hell no. Why would I? I haven’t seen so much progress in her before.”
I smiled widely, oddly pleased by his approval.
But Declan added, “Just keep an eye on her during any of her interactions with your pal over there. I know those suckers can bite. One of my buddies nearly lost a finger saving a macaw from a fire, so… if you can insure Katie comes home every day with all ten fingers still on her hands, I’ll be much obliged to you.”
I laughed, not expecting this impressive man to be hesitant about a little bird.
I felt it again, a strange undercurrent that nudged me in the back of my mind and told me there was a secret yet to be discovered about Declan. But before I could grasp it, it slipped away and faded into nothingness.
Declan smiled at our sudden silence, and I found myself returning the smile, praying that mine had the same brilliance and that he didn’t outshine me in that department too.
I couldn’t think of anything else to discuss, as this meeting had gone more smoothly than most. “Well, then,” I said, and I stood to walk Declan to the door.
“If there’s anything else, please give me a call,” Declan said civilly, and I nodded as I accepted the departing handshake.
I watched him walk away, knowing that I still had a lot of questions I wanted to ask him, but I didn’t know how to go about it without seeming overly nosy.
Nobody liked a teacher snooping into their home lives, I knew, and I had always vowed to never be such a teacher. I’d only be as involved as a parent found suitable.
But as I watched Declan walk down the hall, I had to wonder: Was there a Mrs. Monroe, or was Declan alone? And if he was alone… why on God’s green earth would a man like him still be single?
I was far too curious about this man for my own good, but he just had that way about him. I would have to make a house call later in the week, foremost to check on Katie’s progress, but also to hear his grizzly voice once more.
Chapter 3
Declan
Katie’s teacher had certainly not been what I expected. I couldn’t help but find myself reflecting on our meeting when I dropped Katie off Monday morning.
I was tired, having worked the last forty-eight hours straight as we had an outbreak of fire. Yet here I was in front of Katie’s school, with her singing in the back.
It had been Mrs. Gardener’s turn to drop off Katie, as she usually did for me after a long shift. But this morning I relieved her of her sitter duties, all the while paying her the amount we had agreed upon. “I insist,” I had said, and my grandmotherly neighbor accepted the payment, commenting that I seemed more chipper than usual.
Honestly, I didn’t know the cause of my good mood. Though if I had started off in a good mood that morning, Katie’s reaction to seeing me earlier than she expected had made my mood even better. She had hugged me and hung on tight. For a moment I had feared that my neck would snap under her surprisingly strong grip as she clung to me and buried her face in my neck.
It had been like the first day I met her.
I shook myself out of my reverie as Katie gave me a quick goodbye before heading off into the building. I almost wanted to go in after her—though not in that overbearing parent sort of way, as I tried to give her the appropriate amount of independence. No, I wanted to follow after her in hopes of finding Mr. Davis alone with a free moment to chat.
‘Mr. Davis.’ I rolled my eyes. He might’ve insisted we keep things formal, but I’d be calling him by his first name if I ever got to see him again.
Ivan. Something literary about that name… Something literary about that man. I didn’t know many scholarly men, but now that I had met one, I found him oddly attractive.
What would Ivan think of that? Would he be flattered or offended? Hard to tell if this man had the same tastes I did, but I could see him going either way.
A whim overtook me, and instead of pulling out of the school parking lot, I took a turn and parked.
Life was short. I knew that all too well in my line of work, and as such I saw no reason not to take a chance.
*
After a few minutes of getting lost and asking for directions, I found Ivan sitting alone in the staff room. To my surprise, the man who I had pinned down as a workaholic was, in fact, snoozing away. I noted the steaming cup of coffee to Ivan’s right, his glasses to his left, and a huge pile of books in front of him upon which he now rested his head as he slept.
Seemed he didn’t get a sip of his morning coffee in time…
I smiled, taking a moment to soak up the sight.
There was something about the symmetry of Ivan’s features; something about the way it was all put together with just the right harmony of strong and delicate that made me wonder if the rest of him was so beautifully composed.
But before I could enjoy the image for too long, the shrill of the bell went off and Ivan woke up. Groggy-eyed and with his blond locks hanging in his face, it took a moment for Ivan to get his bearings, let alone to spot me.
When he did, however, Ivan’s eyes lit up. “Mr. Monroe!” he exclaimed, hurrying to his feet.
There was that formal last name again. “Declan,” I insisted. “I was just stopping by to have a quick word.”
Ivan nodded, eager to hear what I had to say. “All right.”
“This is off topic, but I couldn’t help but notice that… you’re not wearing a ring.” Well, the words came out easy, but it still felt like I just jumped out of a two-story window. Thrilling for a second, but regretful soon after.
Ivan frowned. “Neither are you, Mr. Monroe. I noticed because during our meeting I was looking for a way to introduce Katie’s mother into the conversation.”
“Katie’s mom died when she was just a baby, and I adopted her soon after. I’m sure it goes without saying that I’m not her biological father, but I’m her dad nonetheless.”
“That’s awful about her mother. I had no idea.”
I stared off, not quite wanting to relive this memory, but I felt that Ivan deserved to know. “I’m a firefighter, and in my line of work, death is something I’m regretfully familiar with. I was there the night Katie’s mother died, and I was the one who rescued Katie from the fire.”
Ivan’s eyes widened, and he didn’t seem to know how to respond.
I continued, bringing the story to its relatively happy conclusion. “Ultimately I decided to adopt Katie. She had no immediate family, and the short time I held her in my arms just… I don’t know. It changed my priorities.”
Ivan nodded, eyes still wide, captivated by my story. “That’s so… I don’t know how to put it. Heroic.”
I laughed. “As cliché as it sounds, you could say she saved me too. I really was a scamp before I met her. Now… well, now I just work hard, do everything I can to make her life better. Sometimes, though, it doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough.”
Ivan looked like he wanted to reach out and touch my hand, but he stopped himself halfway. “I… I know the feeling. I have Katie, plus fourteen others, who I feel equally responsible for when it comes to their well-being and education. Trust me when I say that I understand your struggle. And although I don’t have kids of my own or a wife for that matter, I’m no stranger to the pressure of responsibility.”
Silence fell between us, until Ivan asked conversationally, “So you’re a firefighter?”
“Yep. Joined the department in my early twenties and this year would make fifteen years that I’ve been there. Can’t imagine any other sort of life.”
“That’s great. I’ve always admired people who are willing to put their lives on the line for others.”
“True. I admire them too.” I smiled. “And I do feel honored to be part of that group. But I think you do very important work too. I’ve always admired teachers and the difficulties they have to deal with. It must be a hard balancing act, not just managing such limited resources but making sure every student gets the attention they need. I have a hard enough time watching over one kid, let alone a whole classroom’s worth.”
Ivan’s demeanor softened and he smiled unreservedly for perhaps the first time. Something about the aura surrounding Ivan had my vast imagination fixated on him.
“Thanks for saying that,” Ivan said softly. “You’d be surprised how many parents see me and other teachers as more of an obstacle than an ally. I want my students to be the best they can be, but I can’t do that when it’s somehow my fault that they didn’t study or do their homework.” He paused, a little embarrassed. “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to rant.”
“That’s okay. Happens to the best of us, and I’m sure that we parents aren’t always the easiest people to deal with.”
“Well, you’re a welcomed exception,” Ivan said, staring almost dreamily in my eyes before snapping out of it. “Oh crap, I didn’t notice the time!” He jumped up and alternated between packing his bag and sipping his coffee.
“Sorry for keeping you,” I said as I helped him stack his books. “Anyway, I had originally come here to ask if we could make another appointment for Friday afternoon? Same time as last?”
Ivan nodded, not saying anything because of the two pens he had in his mouth. I laughed, noticing his hands were too full to open the door, so I went ahead of him. I held the door open, and Ivan had to brush past me to get through. He paused when our hips brushed, and his gaze went from my belt buckle up to my eyes.
Ivan blushed and uttered a quick, “Okay, see you Friday,” through the pens in his mouth before jogging down the hall.
Well, I’d be damned.
Unless I was mistaken, Ivan was acting like a kid with a crush. Perhaps the man might be interested in discovering the joys of crossing blurred lines after all.
As I walked to my car, I wondered if that little spark between us was a good thing. I wanted to pursue it with everything in me, but at the same time I knew it’d make things… well, complicated.
Ivan was doing amazing things for Katie so far. Was I willing to risk jeopardizing our parent-teacher relationship for a romantic pursuit?
And what about the school rules? It wasn’t likely that teachers would be allowed to have relations with parents. Conflict of interests and all that.
It just wasn’t worth it, I finally decided.
Even if there was chemistry enough between us to make even the creator of the first periodic table blush, it was too much of a risk. I couldn’t risk Katie’s miraculous progress.
I had put her needs above my own ever since I made the choice to become her parent, and I would continue to do so now.
It seemed I would have to pursue Ivan in my fantasies only. And what a sweet fantasy it was.
Chapter 4
Ivan
It was strange to me how quickly a pattern had developed, and how much I looked forward to it.
When Declan started dropping by on his days off, I had figured that it was just to touch base with me and check in on Katie’s progress. But now I wasn’t so sure, not with all the signs pointing in a direction that my brain still struggled to come to terms with.
There had been no untoward movement on Declan’s part, of course. He had been simply another perfectly reasonable, well-behaved parent who liked to check in on his child. We normally met in the staff room and spoke about things ranging from books to our work. All small talk… but with a hint of something more that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
Perhaps Declan simply came for the conversation and company. The man did seem lonely, and must’ve had a hard time maintaining
a social life with his odd schedule. I was most likely reading into things that weren’t there. I definitely had to be making too big a deal out of the fact that whenever Declan visited, we had always managed to accidentally bump into each other.
Sometimes our foreheads touched when we would bend to examine the same text. Or sometimes our hands brushed when I shared a cup from my personal coffee stash.
I enjoyed his company for the most part. It was a breath of fresh air to have pleasant relations with a student’s parent for once. Though there was something about Declan, something that made me aware of another man in ways that I knew I shouldn’t have been aware of him.
This afternoon I hurried to the staff room for the appointed time. We spoke on the phone often as Declan usually called to find out when I would be free and to let me know if he was coming. If the too-regular meetings had drawn notice, I hadn’t heard of it yet, but I felt sure it was just a matter of time.
I was a teacher for crying out loud, and I very much doubted that getting close to any parent, whether male or female, would be acceptable in my line of work.
Still, the meetings continued.
“Declan.”
I tried not to laugh when Hamlet startled us both by being the first to say anything at this meeting.
Great. Just great.
It would seem that somehow and somewhere, Hamlet had picked up Declan’s name. I could only pray that Hamlet wouldn’t start shouting it out in the middle of my class.
Blasted bird.
That Declan was surprised was obvious. I couldn’t help but wonder if he would be amused should I confess that Hamlet probably overheard the name from me. I had a habit of talking to myself while I sorted paperwork, and these days I often spoke of Declan during these mad ramblings.
But he smiled and simply gave Hamlet an amused frown. “Yes, that’s my name, bird.” He turned to me. “Why’d you name him Hamlet, anyway?”
I was all too happy to retell the story of my bird’s naming. “So get this, when I first got him, I had a hard time getting him to talk. He’s an African Grey—an incredibly smart type of parrot, so it seemed odd that he hadn’t picked up on any words yet. I tried teaching him very basic things, like ‘hi’ and ‘pretty bird,’ but he seemed bored by that. So instead I tried something more challenging for him to repeat…”
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