He couldn't even say he loved himself during those times. Thinking about it hard, Samuel closed his eyes and leaned more into Daniel. Did he love who he was right now? Not all of him, no. But he loved who he was with Milo and Daniel. That part of him was alive and willing to continue because with them he had hope. And that had been such a foreign word on his lips for so many years, he could barely remember it.
Hope died in Samuel’s world when he was fifteen. It wasn’t overnight. Hope clung to him, or he hung onto hope. When he woke up hazy from the drugs and not knowing where he was the day after he’d been taken, he still had hope someone would find him, that he would wake the next day and be back in the real world and the memory of the musty cellar he was held in would all be a bad dream, one he could easily forget.
Hope clung to him while he was beaten for the first time by some unknown, gruff-looking Russian guy who wouldn’t tell Samuel why he was there or why he was being punished. It slowly petered away over the long months held in captivity, taken away by the men who hit him or abused him. It disappeared with their quiet whispers that he was theirs now, that he would always be theirs. That his life was just a memory, one which would soon wash away until Samuel could remember nothing of who he was or where he came from.
For years Samuel believed them. His parents, his family, the house they had shared and the love they felt—it all slipped away. The drugs mixed with the constant pain and abuse made it easier for Samuel to keep them hidden. Why would he want to remember such good times when he would never have them back? Why put himself through even more pain looking back to a life he would never see again? It was easier to think of himself always being their toy. Seeing what he’d lost made everything worse. When you don’t dream or expect anything, then the harsh reality you live in seems to be everything you could want, because there’s nothing else you can have.
Samuel looked up into Daniel’s eyes and saw the concern in them. He could tell it was more than Milo on Samuel’s mind. He slipped out of Daniel’s arms and sat on his lap, running his fingers through his short brown hair as they both stared into each other’s eyes. Samuel thought back to the first time he saw those green eyes shining at him in the pitch black of that horrible, smoke-filled room in the warehouse when Daniel pulled him from the fire and smiled.
That was the first real feeling of hope he felt in so long, looking into those wonderful eyes and seeing the absolute certainty everything was going to be alright. Daniel woke the feeling of hope up in Samuel, along with so many more feelings afterwards. Up until the fire, all Samuel had done for six months was exist in the most basic ways. He survived. Survived Boris, survived the drugs, and survived the streets. But there was so much more than just surviving. He wanted to live.
Looking down at the man who rescued him, not just from the blaze which he should have died in, but saved him in so many other ways too, Samuel knew without hesitation or doubt that everything he felt for him was real. There was no deep seated psychological reason for his emotions, they were just there. Samuel wasn’t always cold, but the last three years made him cold. When he opened himself up and allowed Daniel and Milo in, his heart started beating in his chest again.
“I love you, Daniel Harris.”
Daniel opened his mouth, then stopped and smiled slowly, cupping Samuel’s face in his hands before kissing him tenderly and so softly Samuel could barely feel their lips connecting. “I love you too.” Daniel kissed him again then pulled back and swept Samuel’s hair off his shoulders. “I thought you were going to tell me you wanted to leave or something when you went quiet for so long.”
Samuel played with Daniel’s hair as he leaned in and kissed him again, this time a little more demanding. “I should leave.” Daniel tensed against him and Samuel hushed him with soft touches and delicate kisses. “But I won't. I can't.”
“We can't let you go either, Sweetheart. It would hurt too much.” Daniel ran his fingers through the waves of long hair floating around Samuel’s arms and shoulders as he thought hard about something. “Is this… I mean, how you love me, but…” Daniel looked up and Samuel tilted his head waiting for him to continue, probably asking him if he understood what he was talking about and if this was really love, but he didn’t. “Do you think you and Milo will be the same?”
Samuel grinned before kissing him again. “I love him too. I love both of you in the same way, maybe for different reasons, maybe for the exact same reasons, but it’s still love.”
Daniel seemed to relax and smiled more openly. “Good.”
“Do you think he will love me?”
“Yes.” Daniel chuckled. “Yeah, I do. No doubt about it. But I’ll leave that up to you and him to chat about.”
Samuel curled up on Daniel’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and sighing as they held each other. He just wanted Milo home and everything would be perfect. He missed him, and he’d been gone for so long now. It was the longest time they’d spent apart and Samuel ached inside with the need to have them both in his arms and safe.
Chapter 23
Milo sat in the car outside Daniel’s house and composed himself for a few moments before switching the engine off and getting out. It was nearly nine in the morning and he’d started his shift at seven yesterday evening. Normally after working the night shift he’d be in bed by now, but he had to talk things over with his boss before he came home.
Milo never worried about his personal life affecting his job, not even when the first few people gave him shit for his sexuality when he joined the force years ago. To him it wasn’t something they should think about. He didn’t go home and wonder what they got up into bed with their partners, so why make a big deal of it? He’d kept private, kept his life and personal chats to a bare minimum and things moved along, but now…
Things had changed. Just moving on with Daniel would have caused a shift in his personal life clashing with his professional one, but with the investigation into the fire and Samuel’s kidnapping, it had blown up in his face and he wanted to clear up any potential queries anyone could have about his behaviour and his professional conduct.
He walked slowly to the back door, stepping into the kitchen and looking around with a sigh. Daniel was obviously in the middle of making what looked like pancakes, but he’d chosen to abandon them midway. There was batter splattered everywhere, pans and bowls lying around and the ingredients spread over every available surface. Milo sidestepped the table, keeping his coat away from the flour hanging about as he passed and made his way into the sitting room.
“Daniel! Samuel!” Milo took off his coat, listening to the sounds of movement upstairs. The bedroom probably. He should have guessed Samuel was the reason for the half attempted breakfast. “Is everything okay?” Milo called up the stairs.
“Yeah, we’re fine. Just bored of waiting for you.” Daniel appeared first, looking sexy in his own scruffy, laid back way, and a little sleepy. “I'm making breakfast. Could you tell?” He gave Milo an impish grin, laughing when he saw Milo run his fingers through his hair. “It’s not that bad.”
“No.” Milo took Daniel into his arms and tucked his face into his neck. “It’s worse.” They both chuckled.
“They’ll taste good.”
“No, they won't.”
“Awww, Milo. I’m trying.”
“Please stop.”
“You're so mean to me.” Daniel pressed him back against the wall, holding his shoulders and staring into his dark eyes. “You okay? How’d it go?”
“Well…” Milo glanced over Daniel’s shoulder, seeing Samuel making his way to them down the stairs and smiled. “Hey, Princess. Have you heard Daniel’s making pancakes?”
Samuel stopped walking and bit his lip. “Really? Is that what all the noise was this morning?”
“They’ll taste good when they’re finished.” Daniel huffed and grabbed Samuel’s wrist, hoisting him into their arms and clamping him in between them. “We missed you. Don’t leave again. I can't deal with all the
space in bed with you gone.”
“Well, don’t worry. I won't be leaving again some time soon.” Milo and Daniel shared a look. They’d discussed the potential options which could happen today and they both thought of the worst case scenario.
Samuel lifted up and placed a kiss on Milo’s lips, tightly clinging to him. “Did you get in trouble?”
Milo smiled, running his hands over the mane of hair down Samuel’s back before kissing his nose. It was at times like these he noticed how young Samuel was. It seemed so long ago since he’d been eighteen. “Hmm. Let’s eat. I need food and coffee while I do this and then bed.”
“Bed sounds good.” Daniel moved away with a smirk.
“To sleep, Danny.” Milo kept his arm around Samuel as they walked to the kitchen. He knew Samuel felt guilty over the situation as it was, and he didn’t want to cause him any more stress. “I'm okay, Samuel. I feel better now I've spoken to a few people. I didn’t want to cause any issues for the trial in the future. I had to do this or risk compromising myself and the case.”
“I just feel so guilty.”
“Don’t. You don’t have to feel anything like that.” Milo settled Samuel in one of the kitchen chairs, and then they both looked around the room, Milo with a frown and Samuel with a big grin. “You got this, right?”
Samuel chuckled as Daniel started mixing up a bowl of slop and switched on the heat. “Yeah, I can cook these.”
“It’s the cleaning up he has issues with.” Milo switched the kettle on and grabbed some cups.
“So, spill it, Officer. What’s the story?” There was a hiss as Daniel poured the batter into the pan.
“Well, I got suspended.” Milo let that hang in the air for a moment while he popped the tea bags in the cups. “It’s not really as bad as it sounds. It’s just a precaution. It means I can stay here and help Samuel, be a mediator for him and CID while the investigation goes through, and it won't affect anything legally or morally.” He turned around leaning against the counter and looked between them both.
Daniel nodded then flipped the pancake, surprisingly getting it perfectly right. “Okay, we kinda thought that may happen, but still… You okay with it?”
Milo wasn’t. The job was his life. He’d put everything into it for all of his adult life. It was everything he knew, and to go from being so busy to doing practically nothing, well, it was going to be tough.
“You're going to be hell to live with.” Daniel tipped the pancake out and started another. “At least I have help occupying you while you're off.”
They both glanced at Samuel, who was fiddling with the tips of his hair and staring at the table.
Milo moved to him, sitting beside him and caressing his cheek. “This is a good thing. I can be here with you both. I’ve hated being apart from you while all this was going on. The worry of moving on with you while I was still with the police was constantly on my mind. It feels more like a relief. I’ve not been dismissed. They made that very clear. This suspension may not even last very long, just until they’ve done a few checks on my investigation with the arson case and ticked all the boxes. CID is investigating your kidnapping and the gang. I only tied you and them together and pointed CID to you, nothing more. It’s all in their hands now. I'm just going to be here to help you understand what’s going on, as a friend.”
Daniel placed a plate of pancakes down then started frying more up. “As long as they’re not looking to blame you for something you didn’t do, then it sounds like a good compromise. One we can make the most out of. You still get paid, right?”
“Yes.” Milo dragged his fingers through his hair and huffed. “Why? You need loads of cash for something?”
“No, just that would be unfair.”
When Daniel sat down, they ate their food in silence. Milo was tired, and Samuel and Daniel seemed to be a little lost in their own thoughts.
Samuel eventually lifted his head and sighed. “Have they found anything out about… about him or the gang yet?”
“There’s always some department watching over them shits. So they know where the big guys are. Right now, they’re in London, far away from you. According to the records, you died. Sorry.” Milo kissed him gently. “But it’s for the best, Princess. The longer they think you're dead, the safer you'll be.”
“Do I have to give more statements?”
“Probably.” Milo held his hand. “I know this difficult for you. But you're doing so well. You're being brave and reliving a lot of horrible things. You’ve given us a lot of information, useful information. I know you think it isn't, but you don’t realise how much you’ve seen over the years.”
Samuel ate a few bites of his pancake then closed his eyes. “I can't stay dead forever. What about the trial? Won't I have to give a lot of evidence? What then?”
“Well, due to the high risk of… them trying to find you, it will be dealt with very carefully. During the trial, it’s not expected you attend and face them. By that time there’ll be other witnesses, more evidence. Fingers crossed you can just slip away on a nice holiday somewhere warm and come back to find it all done.”
“Best case scenario,” Daniel said quietly. “But that’s not the only option, Samuel.” He linked his fingers with Samuel’s. “Just try not to worry too much. The trial will be a long way away. Right now, you’re safe with us. They don’t know you're alive, and no one’s looking for you. There are plain clothes police officers watching you all the time, plus us two. And Milo is on full time hours now, aren’t you, big boy?”
“I am.” Milo took Samuel’s other hand then kissed him softly. “I'm beat. I'm off to catch a few hours’ sleep. I thought we could venture out this evening to see a movie. I don’t want to keep you a prisoner in these four walls. We still have to be cautious, but now we have a better idea about the situation, we can leave the house a bit more.”
Samuel was beaming and it made both of them smile at him.
Chapter 24
Samuel felt like he was playing a part in a great escape when they left the house for their trip to the movies. He’d tied his hair up then slipped one of Daniel’s caps on, and he was wedged in between them all the way through the dusky evening and into the cinema complex.
It had been years since Samuel had been in one. He’d probably been around fourteen when he and his foster family came to see a film, and he felt like a kid again as he looked around him, taking in all the people passing by with their popcorn and big drinks. He got a little too excited when he saw the ice cream parlour and made a beeline for it, dragging both Milo and Daniel with him.
They got hotdogs and slushies, ice cream and popcorn. They spoiled him and he loved every second of it. He was too excited about being out of the house to think about anything else. The worries he felt during the day about Milo and his job, Boris finding him, how the three of them were getting on, they all slipped away and he just let himself enjoy the evening.
Daniel made sure they’d booked some amazing armchair style seats in the best position and he sat in between them both with his legs curled under him and his ice cream under his nose while the trailers began. It was some action adventure movie which Samuel had never heard of before, but he didn’t care what they watched, he was just happy to be there.
He took off his cap when the lights went out and let his hair down because the bun at the nape of his neck was bugging him and kept him from leaning back on the seat. Milo and Daniel looked over him for a few heated moments then Samuel took one of each of their hands in his.
Halfway through the film, Milo was resting his hand on Samuel’s thigh, occasionally feeding him some popcorn while Daniel relaxed with his legs out in the aisle, his head on Samuel’s shoulder, playing with the tips of his long blond hair while he slurped on his slushy. Samuel couldn't remember ever feeling so happy—it lit him up like a spotlight and he felt that comforting glow inside him again. He felt giddy with it and leaned down, placing a kiss on Daniel’s lips, making them both moan a little wh
en he pulled away to make sure Milo received the same treatment.
Of course, Milo took it one step further and he slowly worked his hand up Samuel’s thigh, cupping his cock over his jeans and massaging it while they kissed. “Milo,” Samuel breathed out softly.
Milo smiled then placed some popcorn at his lips, laughing quietly when Samuel licked it teasingly before placing his lips around his finger and sucking it into his mouth.
“Tease.” Milo’s voice was a little heavier and thicker.
“You started it.” Samuel nodded to the big hand still covering his cock and grinned. “Stop it.”
“I don’t think I will.”
Daniel leaned over. “You two are getting looks.”
“Erm, the three of us are.” Milo grinned back, but he slipped his hand off Samuel’s cock, grabbing the slushy from Daniel and turning back to the film.
After consuming too much food plied with sugar, Samuel was hyper. He was practically bouncing as Milo tied his hair back in a ponytail at the end of the move and slipped his cap back on.
“He needs a long run or something before bed to burn off his energy.” Milo shrugged on his coat, checking his mobile before he stood up.
“A run?” Daniel took hold of Samuel’s hand and pulled him into his body. “I can think of a few more interesting things to do other than a run.”
Samuel’s body burned up and he turned to take hold of Milo’s hand, trying and failing to move his heavy arse closer to them both. “Home, Milo. I have energy you need to help get rid of.”
Milo smiled in that sexy, pant-tightening way and stood closer, pressing Samuel’s hand in between his thighs so he could feel how hard he was getting, then drifted his gaze to Daniel and nodded his head in the direction of the exit.
Samuel was held in front of Milo as they made their way through the crowds leaving the building, probably so he didn’t accidently rub his hard on against someone. Samuel took every opportunity he could do to press back into him, rubbing his firm arse onto Milo’s cock and getting him even more turned on. Daniel was laughing as they escaped the bright lights of the cinema for the night sky outside.
Manchester Ménage 01 - Saving Samuel Page 17