“And you think that will be enough for me?” he demanded, jerking away from her touch.
“When compared to the alternative, yes, it will be enough,” she answered.
“So that’s it,” he stated in defeat as he noted her resolved expression and the determination glittering in her eyes. “It’s over between us, and you want me to hit the road.”
She gave him a look that was part chastisement and part torment. “As far as I’m concerned, it will never be over between us, Ryan. I am a witch, and I can mate only once. Every moment of my life, you’ll be in my thoughts and my dreams. But, yes, I want you to hit the road, and our timing is perfect. Sebastian just returned with the car.”
He wanted to grab her and jerk her back into his arms. He wanted to kiss her until she was swooning, and then make love to her until she forgot this crazy plan for him to leave. But he knew he couldn’t do that. He loved her, and if his staying would make her miserable, then he had no choice. It would kill him, but he had to go.
“Will you at least go with me to the boundary?”
She shook her head. “It’s going to be hard enough to say good-bye here. I couldn’t bear to watch you forget me.”
“Can I at least have a good-bye kiss?”
“Oh, yes!” she said, flying into his arms.
He wrapped his arms around her tightly and buried his face in her hair. Drawing in a deep breath, he savored the scent of her. So womanly. So mysterious. So sexy. So Shana. He didn’t care what she said, he could never forget her. There would be some part of her—some essence of her—that would remain with him forever.
Cupping her chin, he tilted her face up to his and sealed his lips over hers. When he did, she opened her mind to him, and all her feelings washed over him. Her love enveloped him and made him whole. Her sadness broke his heart in two.
Reluctantly, he pulled away from the kiss and looked down at her. He brushed his thumbs over her satin cheeks and gruffly muttered, “If I have to go, the least you could do is shed a tear over me.”
“Witches can’t cry,” she replied hoarsely. “We’re incapable of tears.”
“Then maybe I’ll cry for both of us,” he said as he felt his own eyes grow damp. “I love you, Shana.”
She pressed a hand against his lips. “And I love you, Ryan. Good-bye.”
With that, she pulled out of his embrace and ran out of the room. He stood looking at the empty doorway, wanting to go after her. Instead, he walked out and headed for the front door and Sebastian.
SHANA WAITED UNTIL she knew that Ryan and Sebastian were almost to the boundary before she returned to the repository. She stood beside the table and stared down at the cards. If Sebastian was right, the moment Ryan crossed over the border, the last card would drop and the images would return. At that moment, Moira would be trapped forever, and Ryan would be free.
As her mind absently tracked Ryan’s and Sebastian’s progress, she let herself relive every precious moment she and Ryan had together. She knew that this was only the first time for that indulgence. That for the rest of her life, she’d relive the short time they’d had together.
Too soon, the memories ended, and so did Ryan’s journey. As the car reached Sanctuary’s boundary, she buried her face in her hands and let her mind brush against Ryan’s. Though she knew she should remain silent, she couldn’t help communicating, I love you, Ryan, and even though I can’t cry, I want you to know that my heart is drowning in tears.
I love you, Shana, and I want you to know that my heart . . .
Their contact abruptly ended. Shana looked at the pentagram overhead and let out a wailing keen. He was gone, and it hurt her so badly that she was sure she would die from the pain.
But she wouldn’t die, because she had every reason to live. Ryan was gone, but she was carrying his child. Through it, she’d find the joy and happiness that she should have had with him, she assured herself, pressing her hand protectively to her abdomen.
Drawing in a deep breath, she looked down at the cards. The images had again become visible, and the last card—The Hanged Man, self-sacrifice—was lying on top of The Fool. There was a part of her that had been hoping that Ryan’s departure wouldn’t make a difference. That the cards would remain black. Then she could run after him, and they could be together forever. But now she knew that forever was never meant to be for them.
With a heavy sigh, she gathered the cards together and carefully wrapped them into the aged silk they’d been in originally. Then she put them back into the carved box and returned it to its original hiding place.
When she was done, she walked to the center of the room and looked around. All her life she had wanted to escape Sanctuary and the restrictions of coven life. But now, as she looked at all the objects surrounding her, she knew this was where she belonged. She was not only a member of the coven, but she was the caretaker of the repository, and that was an important responsibility. Though her part in Moira’s curse had been her destiny and she couldn’t have avoided it, she now understood just how critical it was to protect the remainder of the items in here. It was a responsibility that she intended to take seriously from now on.
“I’ve finally found my way home,” she whispered sadly. “But why did it have to be at such a great cost?”
“WHO THE HELL are you? And what the hell am I doing in your car?” Ryan demanded of the strange, and rather intimidating-looking, man sitting beside him. With his long, dark hair, hooked nose, and odd, glittering eyes, he looked like some primitive barbarian.
The man pulled the car over to the side of the road. When they were stopped, he turned to look at Ryan. “I am Sebastian Moran. You don’t remember why you’re in my car?”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be asking you why I’m in it,” Ryan muttered.
The man gave him a satisfied smile. “Do you believe in clean slates, Dr. Alden?”
“How did you know my name?”
“How I know your name doesn’t matter. What does matter is your answer to my question. Do you believe in clean slates? Do you believe that once a man has learned his lesson, he can begin again?”
“I suppose so,” Ryan said cautiously. “Why?”
Sebastian stared at him for a long moment before saying, “What do you think about wishes, Dr. Alden?”
“Look, Moran, I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing here, but—”
“The game I’m playing could affect the rest of your life, Dr. Alden,” Sebastian interrupted quietly. “Tell me what you think about wishes.”
“I’m not sure what you’re asking,” Ryan said, confused by the man’s serious demeanor. “I suppose that I believe wishes can come true, but . . .”
“But?” Sebastian prodded, when Ryan’s voice trailed off.
Ryan glanced out the window a moment, trying to pull his thoughts together. Finally, he returned his attention to Sebastian and said, “But I guess I also believe that you should be careful of what you wish for, because you just might get it.”
“But if it’s a wish you really want, then what’s the harm of its coming true?” Sebastian asked next.
Ryan frowned at him impatiently. “I think the answer to that is rather obvious, Moran. Too many times we make wishes for things we think we need, when in actuality, having those things will only make us miserable. In other words, if you’re going to make a wish, then you had better make damn certain it’s something you not only need, but something you need so badly that you’re willing to handle the consequences if it comes true.”
“So, you believe that wishes carry consequences?”
“Of course,” Ryan replied with such vehemence he startled himself. “A wish is a form of desire, and we tend to let our desires get out of hand. We often let what we want override what we really need. There is a big difference between want and need.”
“Love,” Ryan answered, again startling himself with the vehemence of his reply.
“And you believe that love is so important that it would be worth the consequences of a wish?”
“I believe that love is so important that it’s worth risking your life to have it,” Ryan replied.
“Congratulations, Dr. Alden,” Sebastian said, suddenly grinning at him. “You’ve learned the lesson well, and now I’m allowed to grant your wish.”
Before Ryan could figure out what the hell the man was talking about, he waved his hand at Ryan, and then flicked his fingers. Suddenly, Ryan’s mind was flooded with a hundred images, and all of them were of Shana Morland.
When the images ended, Ryan stared at Sebastian in disbelief. “Are you saying I can go back to Shana?”
“The wishing wand’s purpose is not to punish, Dr. Alden. It is to teach you the value of a wish. You’ve learned that lesson well.”
“But what about Moira’s curse? If I stay with Shana, will I have to fight Moira again?”
“You completed the cycle,” Sebastian answered. “You fulfilled The Hanged Man’s demand for self-sacrifice by leaving Shana. And by doing so, you chose sacred love over profane love, because staying with Shana would have been profane.”
“I’m not sure I understand your reasoning,” Ryan said, frowning in confusion.
“It’s simple, Dr. Alden. Shana loves you enough to let you go. If you had insisted on staying, you would have been considering your wants and needs over hers, and that is not true love. It’s self-serving love. By doing as she asked—by leaving to make her happy—you proved that you truly love her. Moira can’t fight that.”
“And you’re sure you’re right?” Ryan questioned warily.
Sebastian shrugged. “The only way to know for sure is to look at the cards. If the images are there, then the battle is over. If the cards are black, it isn’t over. So, what’s it going to be, Dr. Alden? Do I drive you back to Shana’s, or do I drive you to the next town?”
“You know the answer to that. Get me back to Shana’s house as fast as you can. And, Moran?”
“Yes?” Sebastian murmured as he put the transmission into gear and began to turn the car around.
“If I ever catch you with your arms around my mate again, I’ll break your neck.”
Sebastian tossed back his head and laughed. Then he looked at Ryan and said, “I think you’re going to make a great addition to Sanctuary, Dr. Alden. Welcome to the coven.”
SHANA STARED AT the gigantic bowl of ice cream in front of her. Whenever she’d been depressed before, ice cream had seemed to pull her out of it. But today, just the sight of it made her more morose.
“I have to get over this,” she mumbled, propping her elbows on the table and burying her face in her hands. “I have to be strong. I have a baby to think about and . . .”
She started at the hollow echoing that drifted through the house. Her head shot up, and she frowned. Who could possibly be knocking on her door at a time like this? She knew that all she had to do was touch the person’s mind to find out, but suddenly movement appealed to her.
So instead of using her mental abilities, she scooted back her chair and headed for the door. When she reached it and pulled it open, she was sure she was suffering from hallucinations. It couldn’t be Ryan standing on the front stoop!
“Hello, Shana,” he said, smiling at her. “Aren’t you going to ask me in?”
“Ryan! What are you doing here? You left!” she gasped, realizing that he wasn’t a figment of her imagination.
“Yes, I left, and now I’m back,” he replied, stepping inside and removing her hand from the door knob. He closed the door and said, “Sebastian says it’s safe for me to come back. We can be together after all.”
“But Moira’s curse! You can’t—”
He pressed his fingers to her lips. “Just listen to what I have to say.”
Shana stared at him in wide-eyed wonder as he explained what Sebastian had said. “Are you sure he’s right?” she asked when he finally finished.
“Shana, he’s the most powerful warlock alive. If you can’t trust him, who can you trust?”
“But—”
“No buts,” he interrupted as he grabbed her arms and pulled her against him. “Kiss me, Shana. I love you, and I want to make love to you. We’ll worry about Moira tomorrow.”
Shana wanted to object, but he sealed his lips over hers and she forgot everything but being in his arms. This was where she belonged forever.
“I love you, Shana,” he whispered as he pulled away from the kiss and swung her up into his arms.
“I love you, too,” she whispered back, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Make love to me, Ryan.”
“You just try to stop me,” he muttered gruffly, heading for her bedroom.
RYAN LAY IN BED, listening to Shana’s even breathing. Sure that she was finally asleep, he slipped out of bed and pulled on his pants. Then he crept out of the room and headed for the repository.
He knew that Shana wasn’t going to be satisfied with Sebastian’s reassurances that they were safe. She loved him too much to take the word of anyone, even the most powerful warlock alive. She’d probably insist that he leave again, and he wasn’t going anywhere until he knew the truth. Were the images still on the cards, or had they returned to black when he came back?
When he entered the repository, he nervously rubbed his hands against his thighs. He knew where the Tarot deck was hidden. Its location was listed in the journals. But even as he walked toward the fireplace, he found himself wavering. He should just take Sebastian’s words on faith. If Sebastian was wrong, then he could worry about it five hundred years from now. At least he’d have this lifetime of happiness with Shana.
But even as he tried to talk himself out of looking, he knew he had to do it. If he didn’t, Shana would spend the rest of her life worrying about a ghost that might not even exist.
Drawing in a deep breath, he located the trigger for the secret panel. When he pressed it, a section of the hearth slid open, revealing a small, hand-carved box.
As he stared down at it, Ryan again rubbed his hands against his thighs. All he had to do was look, and then he’d know the truth. He reached down and lifted the box into his hands.
“You know, what you’re doing is exactly what got us into that mess with Moira in the first place,” Shana suddenly said behind him.
With a startled gasp, Ryan spun around. Shana was leaning against the door frame, dressed in nothing but his shirt. His gaze automatically slid down her, and he gave a shake of his head.
“God, you’re gorgeous.”
“You’re changing the subject, Ryan,” she said in a voice that was half chastisement and half amusement. “You shouldn’t be sneaking a peek at the cards.”
“You’re right,” he said, “but I have to know the truth. If Sebastian’s right, then our future is secure. If he’s not, then . . .”
“You’ll have to leave,” she finished softly, fretfully. “But what if looking will start the curse again?”
“Shana, the curse is either over or it’s not. Looking is not going to change that. So, shall we open the box?”
She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed at her upper arms, as though suddenly suffering from a chill. “I don’t know if I can handle the truth, Ryan.”
“We have to face it, Shana. If we don’t, you’re going to want me to leave, and I don’t think I can leave you again. At least, I can’t leave without looking at the cards and knowing the truth. So what do you say?”
“If I tell you to put it back, will you?”
“I love you,” he said without hesitation. “If looking at
the cards will make you unhappy, then I won’t look.”
“And if you don’t look and I ask you to leave?”
“Then I’ll leave,” he said simply.
She again rubbed at her arms. “I guess we don’t really have a choice, do we? We have to look.”
“Yes,” he said with a relieved sigh. “We have to look.”
“Then let’s get it over with,” she said.
He carried the box to the table. Opening it, he lifted out the cards. As he started to unwrap the silk, he said, “Well, here goes.”
His fingers were trembling, and it seemed to take him forever to remove the silk. When he did, Shana let out a gasp. He immediately looked at her, his heart beginning to thump fearfully. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said, smiling at him. “The backs are white, not black.”
“And that’s a good sign?”
“Oh, yes,” she said, a quiver of excitement breaking her voice. “Turn them over, Ryan.”
He nodded and turned the cards over. Subconsciously, he’d been expecting the worst, and it took a moment for it to register that he was looking down at a strange-looking man, who was hanging upside down.
“It’s over!” Shana screamed, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him so tightly that he could barely breathe. “It’s really over!”
“God, I love you,” Ryan murmured, tossing the cards to the table and pulling her against him. He rubbed his cheek against her hair. “The future is ours, Shana. An entire lifetime filled with love and magic.”
“Yes, and the magic has already begun,” she said, looking up at him with a shy smile. “If Moira’s cards were telling the truth, I’m pregnant.”
Ryan stared down at her, stunned. “Pregnant?”
She nodded. “It’s okay, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it’s okay,” he said, frowning at her. “But did you know this when I left?”
She glanced away guiltily. “Yes.”
“And you didn’t tell me? For God’s sake, Shana. It’s my baby, too. I should have known.”
Touch of Magic Page 33