Believing Again (Finding Your Place Book 3)

by Rebecca Barber

  Looking at my watch, I saw I only had twenty minutes before this god forsaken week was over and I could get on my bike and get the hell out of here…something I was craving like a meth addict looking for his next hit.

  “Mr. Mitchell!” I heard someone whine my name.

  I hoped it wasn’t Elizabeth.

  I prayed it wasn’t her.

  Turning in the direction of the painful noise, I saw the little girl with the widest, most curious coloured green eyes I’d ever seen. Elizabeth. Gulping down my annoyance, I remembered that I was a teacher and I was at school and started moving towards her.

  “What’s wrong, Elizabeth?” I asked as I crouched down to her tiny height.

  This kid annoyed me. I mean, most of the time they all had their moments, but for some reason, Elizabeth just got to me more than the others. She was so fussy. So cautious. So timid. I wanted to see her break out of her shell and be a normal nine-year-old. I mean, what kind of kid scolded their peers for running on the concrete? She was old beyond her years, and some days, when I wasn’t enduring the torture of caffeine withdrawals, she broke my heart.

  “M-Mum’s not here!”

  Balanced delicately on the edge of her eyelids, I could see the big fat tears just waiting to spill over her rosy cheeks as her bottom lip trembled. “Don’t cry. I’m sure she’ll be here soon. She’s not late. Look how many other kids are still here playing waiting for their mums.”

  I wasn’t lying. For a school of barely one hundred students, there was still probably about thirty bouncing around the quadrangle causing chaos. Tennis balls were rolling in every direction with boys chasing after them, while a group of girls doodled on the concrete with fat sticks of pink chalk. Only pink. I’d already suffered through the drama when someone tried to use yellow.

  “Promise?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Rarely did I make such adamant promises to kids. It was something I never wanted to do. Breaking a promise to a child had the potential to destroy them. Even though I’d only been in the education system for a handful of years, I’d already had the unfortunate experience of witnessing the damage a broken promise could do. With Elizabeth though, this was different. There was no way her mother would forget her. I could only pray she’d forget me.

  Elizabeth skipped away, seemingly satisfied with my answer while I mentally prepared myself for the onslaught. Again. Brooke was persistent, if nothing else. I mean, she wasn’t a horrible woman, and she wasn’t even bad looking, she just wasn’t for me. Somewhere along the line she’d figured out my schedule and started showing up. Almost every Tuesday she’d be at the club where she’d causally mention that she was dining alone and how unfortunate that we were both single. Most of the time, I’d simply explain that I wasn’t alone but having a working dinner, and pull out a stack of papers. However in the last two weeks her, should we say interest, seemed to have slipped into overdrive and now it seemed as though she was waiting until the absolute last possible moment to collect Elizabeth each day so the others were already long gone. Last Wednesday I thought I spotted her sitting in her car halfway down the street, watching until the last bus pulled out before she stepped out of the beat up old Holden in the most ridiculously short dress I’d ever seen. I mean, I wasn’t a prude, and god knows I could use a good woman about now, maybe that would bring me out of my funk, but I wasn’t going there. When I’d mentioned it to Derek over a few beers the other night, he’d almost fallen down with laughter before divulging Brooke’s not so innocent history. A history I had no intention of becoming a part of. Hell, that was the last thing I needed.

  The bus pulled in, and beneath me, the kids started scurrying around like ants as they scooped up their backpacks and charged onto the bus, arguing over who got the prestigious backseat. It was something that happened no matter the kids’ age or the school. And to this day, I have no idea why. Why was the backseat so damned irresistible to the terrors? I didn’t give a shit, though. With the bus pulling out, there were only a handful of kids left, who seemed to be getting their stuff together as well. The nightmare of a week would soon be over. And tonight, after a long ride on the bike and a hot shower, I had plans.

  I think Derek felt sorry for me.

  When he’d shown up and put his six pack in my fridge, his comment didn’t go unheard that the only thing in my fridge was a tub of butter, a block of cheese, which I wasn’t sure how long had been there, and a bottle of barbeque sauce. Showing pity on me, Derek had invited me for dinner and a few cold ones. Who was I to say no? There was no way in hell I was turning down a home-cooked meal. That sounded like heaven to me.

  Too busy thinking about perfectly cooked roast pork with crunchy crackling smothered in gravy, and roasted vegetables that were crunchy on the outside and soft on this inside, I didn’t see Brooke staggering towards me. Something was off about her today. I couldn’t place it, but the way she wobbled on her too high heels as she crossed the road made my gut clench.

  The moment she stepped into my personal space, I knew.

  She was pissed.

  Not drunk off your ass falling down kinda drunk, but if her glassy eyes and flushed cheeks weren’t a dead giveaway, then the disgusting stomach turning odours of stale beer and cigarette smoke were.

  “Hi Nate,” she slurred slightly, not really able to hold eye contact.

  “Afternoon, Brooke. Have you had a good day?”

  The moment I asked, I knew I shouldn’t have. I couldn’t show any concern for her normal life. God forbid I give her the impression I’m interested. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

  “Fabulous day, darling. You should have been there. I won fifty bucks on the pokies and a meat tray. Dunno what I’m going to do with all that damn meat, though. I mean, I’ve got no bloke around. Maybe you could…”

  “Freeze it?” I suggested, desperate to stop the next words in her thought process coming out. I did not need to hear that. I’d never need to hear that again.

  Pulling her tortoiseshell glasses from her face, I saw the woman beneath and instantly felt bad for the way my body physically recoiled from her. Her makeup was slathered on so thick it looked like she’d employed a team of concreters to apply it. But where her glasses sat on the bridge of her nose, it had been wiped clean. Brooke’d had a rough day. Well, at least she looked like it.

  “Lizzie! Lizzie, come on. Gotta go.”

  Elizabeth set about grabbing her backpack and picking up the forgotten chalk and placing it in the bucket before bounding over to her mother, her eyes alive. She’d thought she’d been forgotten. Thought her Mum didn’t care. The relief was evident on Elizabeth’s tiny features and I couldn’t deny I felt a twinge myself. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d broken that promise.

  “Mum! Mum! Look what I did today!”

  “That’s nice,” Brooke replied automatically, not even bothering to look down at the papers her daughter was holding out hopefully.

  Some people didn’t deserve to be parents.

  “Let’s go, Lizzie. Mummy’s going out tonight.”

  She winked at me.

  At least she tried to. Like it was supposed to turn me on or something.

  It didn’t.

  If anything it made her look like she was a bit freaking special. I needed to get the hell out of there. “Well, ladies…have a great weekend, and Elizabeth…”

  “Yes, Mr. Mitchell?”

  “I’ll see you on Monday.”

  “Yes, Mr. Mitchell.”

  As I went to walk away, fingers wrapped around my forearm. Looking down, I spotted the purple nail polish that was chipped and worn. “Brooke…” I kept my tone firm and full of warning as I spun around to face her. This was getting really fucking old really fucking fast.

  “I’ll see you tonight. Mr. Mitchell.”

  She practically purred. But the stench of her breath was feral. It was the most nauseating thing I’d been exposed to in a long time. And that included the dead mouse I found
last weekend in one of the closed up bedrooms.

  Not trusting myself to say anything, I stepped from her grasp and headed back towards my room. I needed to get my shit together and get out of here like now.

  “Let’s go, Lizzie. I don’t have all day.” I heard the harsh words, and as I turned the corner, I couldn’t help but glance back. Elizabeth, who hated being called Lizzie, slunk towards the car, her giant backpack dwarfing her. In front of her, Brooke was surrounded by a cloud of smoke as she stumbled back to the car.

  I didn’t want to let Elizabeth go with her mother. Not in that state. But the stupid laws protect the stupid. There was not a fucking thing I could do. I couldn’t make her stay. I couldn’t hold her here. I couldn’t even cause a scene. All I knew was that little girl should not be in that car. And Brooke should not be behind the wheel.

  Letting the hero complex inside me win, I dug out my phone and called Derek. He could deal with it.

  Chapter 11

  Josie

  Tonight was fucked.

  There was no other word for it, really. I don’t know whether it was a full moon or people were just being assholes for the sake of it, but I’d had enough. My feet were aching. The left hand side of my jeans were clinging to me thanks to the sticky drink accidentally knocked in my direction. My head was throbbing. And I was starving. Like seriously, I could eat a horse type starving. As I carried the long forgotten plate towards the kitchen, the cold, uneaten chips taunted me. What I wouldn’t give for five seconds of peace to be able to stuff my face. But no. That would mean the universe was on my side. And it obviously wasn’t. No, today it wanted to kick my ass. Well, fuck me, it was doing a bang up job of it today.

  “Hey darl,” some guy with bad teeth and worse dress sense growled at me.

  Luckily for him there was three feet of bar between us otherwise my knee may have connected with his balls. Accidentally, of course. After handing him his beer, I moved as far away as I possibly could. One of the others could deal with his disgusting ass. My turn was over.

  “Josie!”

  I spun around and saw Courtney, the new girl, waving at me. Anyone would have thought we were standing on the opposite side of a football field the way she was dramatically trying to catch my attention. This was only my second shift with Courtney and, being the bitch I am, I couldn’t help but hope it was my last. She’d already dropped more glasses than she’d managed to get back. She couldn’t pour a beer for shit, and I’d spent pretty much the whole night giving out free replacements when she stuffed it up. And don’t even get me started on her ability to take a food order. I mean, how hard is it really to take the customer’s order and hand it to the kitchen? This place was old school and very simple. You wrote the order on a notepad and slipped it in the rack on the counter between the bar and kitchen. Then ten or so minutes later, the order would appear and you took it to the customer. Not exactly rocket science. But somehow, Courtney managed to make me look like a freaking genius. Three times, three fucking times, she’d taken an order, written on her notepad, and put her notepad back in her pocket. She didn’t hand it in.

  Biting my tongue, I saved my attitude. Getting pissed at Courtney probably wouldn’t do any good. She was more than likely too dumb to even notice or she’d burst into tears. After the day I was having, the last thing I wanted to deal with was an emotional idiot. Idiots were hard enough without adding tears.

  “Yep?” I said, popping the ‘p’ and offering her a fake smile that hurt my face.

  “Didn’t you say you were off at nine?”

  “Yeah?”

  “It’s already quarter past.”

  Shit! I hadn’t even looked at the time. I was supposed to be home. Mia was cooking and she was saving me some. And when Mia cooked, you wanted to be home. One quick look around though, and I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. Not for a while anyway. “Give me a sec?” Courtney nodded before flicking her long hair over her shoulder and strutting away.

  I ducked into the office and fished my phone from the bottom of my handbag. First I needed to call Jenna and see if Matilda was okay. I was supposed to pick her up. I hated not being there for her, but if I couldn’t be, at least Jenna was. She treated Matilda as if she was her own.

  Impatiently I waited for the call to connect. “Hello?”

  “Hi Jenna. It’s Josie.”

  “Hey! What’s wrong? You sound flustered.”

  “Just one of those days, I guess.” I didn’t want to worry Jenna. She already had enough problems and I wasn’t going to add to it by telling her Courtney was an incompetent moron. Jenna was smart. Hopefully she’d figure it out for herself. And for my own sanity, I only hoped she’d figure it out soon.

  “Are you on your way?”

  “Actually, that’s what I’m calling about.”

  “What’s wrong?” I could hear the alarm in Jenna’s voice and I hated myself for putting it there.

  “Calm down. Nothing really. It’s just pretty busy here at the moment and Courtney…well, you know she’s new, and doesn’t really know…”

  “Her ass from her elbow?”

  I laughed.

  Hard.

  Fuck, it felt good.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to! Are you sure you’re okay? I can try to call in one of the others…”

  “It’s fine, Jenna, really. I mean, I’m already here, and it’s only a couple more hours, but Matilda…”

  “Is sound asleep in bed.”

  “Oh.” I don’t know why it hurt. I’d missed putting my Munchkin to bed. Again. I only missed it three nights a week, but I hated each and every one of those three nights.

  “Josie, she’s fine. Why don’t you leave her here and I’ll drop her home in the morning after breakfast?”

  “You sure?”

  “Absolutely. And don’t for one minute think you owe me or any of that bullshit I know is buzzing about your head right now. I know you. If anything, I owe you. Putting up with Courtney’s drama queen act. You’re more patient than I am, that’s all I can say.”

  Beyond the door I heard a booming voice demanding less ice in his drink, and knew I had to wrap this call up. “Thanks, Jenna. You’re a lifesaver. Look, I’ve got to run…” I heard the smashing of glass and I wondered if by dawn there’d be a single unbroken glass in the building. “See you in the morning.”

  “Thanks, Jos. And try not to take it to heart.”

  I ended the call and yanked open the door. What I saw made me cringe. The angry hordes had descended. I think everyone in town was standing on the other side of the bar with a pissed off expression on their face. Two of the men who had spent the whole night perched on their bar stools at the end of the bar minding their own business were dripping. The seconds passed and the noise grew. It took me a minute to locate Courtney, who was crouched on the floor in the corner with her knees pressed up against her chest and fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Even from where I was standing I could hear her trying to suck in deep breaths between the body wracking sobs.

  “Fuck me!”

  This was the last thing I needed right now.

  Josie: Need you ASAP. Bring Derek.

  I shot the text off to Mia, slipped my phone in my pocket, took a deep breath, and marched over, full of fake confidence.

  “All right! Everyone calm the fuck down!”

  Silence fell instantly across the bar. Every set of eyes looked at me with a combination of shock and curiosity. I might have looked brave, but I was shitting myself, praying Mia got my message and they were already on their way.

  “Right! Now, who was first?”

  Ignoring Courtney cowering in the corner, I took control. I didn’t know what else to do. I had to calm this shit down and get everyone sorted, then I could deal with her and the mess. For the next ten minutes I poured drinks. Somewhere along the line I mastered pouring a beer and Coke at the same time.

  “What the fuck!” Mia exclaimed as she stepped to my side.<
br />
  “I’m fine,” I lied.

  I was fucking shaking but I didn’t have time to panic. Now everyone was calmed down and had their drinks, the adrenaline was wearing off and I was crashing. Fast and hard.

  “Josie.” Derek’s voice was full of authority, and even standing here in jeans, a t-shirt, and thongs, he dominated the space.

  Silently, I flung myself at him, thankful he had the strength to catch me. For a long moment he just held me, his huge hands rubbing my back. When he pulled back, he passed me over to Mia, who took my hand.

  “What the fuck happened?”

  “Dude, it was fucked. That new girl lost her shit and started abusing people, then sprayed us with water for ordering. No idea what her fucking problem is,” the guy at the end of the bar explained as he dropped a handful of coins in the tip jar and stood up.

  “You involved, Jake?”

  “Me? Nah. It was just getting out of control when Firecracker here appeared and told everyone to calm the hell down.”

  “Thanks, man.” Derek reached out and shook his hand. “Take it easy.”

  “You too. Oh, and Firecracker?”

  Meeting his gaze, I wasn’t sure what I was going to find. Respect was there. “You did good tonight. Don’t let it rattle you.”

  Silently I nodded, and turned back to the disaster area that was the bar. When I turned, it wasn’t what I was expecting. I hadn’t seen Nate come in, nevertheless there he was, pushing a broom back and forth, sweeping up the glass.

  “What’re you doing?”

  My words caught his attention. “What?”