“Ethan Thomas Martin.”
“Christ, Claire. The full name? Really?”
I inhaled deeply as she stared at me. Then her whole face changed and she hooted in triumph. “You slept with him.”
“What?” I coughed and sputtered.
“You totally slept with him and now you’re all tied in knots because your overthinking brain can’t figure out what the hell you really want now. I knew it. You’re wearing your ‘I Got Laid But Now What the Hell Do I Do’ face.”
“I admit nothing.”
“You just did.”
I rested my head against the wall behind me, closed my eyes and took a long drag, letting the smoke curl around me. Spilling my guts about everything that happened last night wasn’t on my agenda. Hell, even I didn’t have my head wrapped around it all, and I sure as hell wasn’t talking to my little sister about me and Jamie getting busy between the sheets.
“Claire, don’t take this the wrong way, but I really don’t want to talk to you about my love life.”
She snickered and pulled the cigarette out of my hand. “Spill it. What happened? And you better not say you regret anything. I know you’re both miserable without each other.”
Snatching the cigarette back, I took another deep drag before smashing it out against the wall.
“Honestly? I have no clue what to tell you. We talked. And you can wipe that goddamn smirk off your face if you want me to keep talking.”
Claire made a swiping motion down her face, her smirk disappearing as she feigned seriousness. The sooner I ripped off this Band-Aid, the sooner Claire would leave me alone.
“What do you want me to say, Claire? That I regret last night? I don’t. But who knows what will happen tomorrow? It’s not like I have the best track record of normal adult relationships.”
Claire’s face lost its playfulness, her features softening as she wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed lightly.
“That’s the whole point. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Or next week or month. But if you live your life always worried about shit that might never happen, you’ll miss out on what’s right in front of you. No matter what Jamie says, he came back to Seattle for you. Not the school, not Chef B, and not the charity gala. For you, Ethan.”
I stiffened in her arms, but she just held on and laid her head against my chest where my heart was hammering painfully.
“Claire, I...I just don’t know what to do. What if we try this again and it doesn’t work? I’m not sure I can do it all over again.” I let out a shaky laugh. “God, I’m such an idiot.”
“That’s the beauty of life. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. But you need to remember something.” She pulled back to look up at me, her smile sad and knowing. “Most people don’t get a second chance. They get on the merry-go-round of life and once they get off, they’re off. No going back. No do-overs. You and Jamie have a second chance. I can’t predict the future and promise you won’t get hurt. No one can. What I can promise is if you don’t at least explore where this is going, you’ll never forgive yourself. And honestly? I have a hard enough time not kicking your surly ass on a daily basis right now; I can’t be responsible for what I’ll do to you if you add guilt-induced crankiness to that stunning personality of yours.”
The knot I’d felt in my gut all morning eased a little. With a quick kiss on her forehead, I finally wiggled free of her octopus hug.
“You’re pretty smart, Short Stack.”
She let out a snort as she pulled away, her hands straightening my chef’s coat before she stood back.
“I may be small but I can still kick your ass, and don’t you forget it.” She headed back to the restaurant, stopping in the doorway. “Don’t overthink this, E. You and Jamie have grown up a lot since we were all in school. Don’t let the mistakes you both made back then screw up what’s happening right now. You both deserve to be happy, regardless of what you might think. Look, why don’t you take the rest of the night off? You’re barely here anyway and after the five-star dinner I was treated to last night, consider it my thanks to the chef.”
She ducked into the restaurant, leaving me calmer but more confused than when I’d left Jamie this morning.
* * *
I finished my beer and placed the empty bottle on the end table. Music blared from the speakers of my stereo, but I still couldn’t quiet my mind. All the questions I’d had earlier in the day multiplied the longer I thought about Jamie. I hadn’t heard from him all day, but I also hadn’t made the effort to call him either. I hadn’t dated since I was a teenager and the last time Jamie and I had been together we’d pretty much jumped feet first into the serious relationship pool. How the hell was I supposed to do this without feeling so vulnerable?
Claire’s advice kept coming back to me. As much as I wanted to believe in what she’d said, the first time shit had ended with Jamie it had almost destroyed me. The thought of going through all of it a second time was terrifying.
As I stared at the empty beer bottles again sitting on the coffee table, I knew I needed more than a slight buzz to help me sleep. After locking the front door and turning off all the lights, I headed to the bathroom, turning the water to an almost unbearable temperature. I tugged off my clothes and slipped under the hot spray, hissing when it stung my body. The brief pain morphed into bliss when for the first time all day, the tension in my neck and shoulders began to loosen.
I closed my eyes to enjoy the feel of the water as it beat my stiff muscles into submission. With as little effort as I could expend, I grabbed the soap and began to lather up my body.
Eight years. The only person I’d ever wanted was back in my life after eight years, but I still didn’t know what to do about him. All I knew was he made me feel even more out of control. Over the years, I’d put everything I had into Sharpe’s on Fifth and being the best chef I could be. Even with the stress of managing the kitchen, the bills, the struggle of trying to save enough money to open my own place, I had held it together. But being with Jamie again made me realize the one thing I’d been missing over the years. Jamie. Someone who knew me inside and out and still accepted me for the surly asshole I was.
I remembered the way his body had felt against mine when he’d pushed me against the shower wall. I’d been helpless to do anything but wrap my arms around him and hold on. My soapy hand slid lower on my body. My slick fingers stroked over my cock, which ached for release even after how many times we’d come together last night.
I closed my eyes and thought of how sexy the scattering of freckles across his shoulders still was, how his blue eyes darkened when he was turned on. The way his voice sounded when I was buried inside him.
With a shuddering gasp, I came in my hand, warmth mixing with the water as I stroked myself through my release. I leaned into the water, letting it pelt my face and neck. Finally tired enough to sleep, I rinsed my body and hand off a last time, shut off the water and grabbed a towel.
I wrapped it around my hips and padded back into my bedroom, content to finally pass out. My phone’s message indicator light blinked red at me as I dropped my towel and climbed underneath the covers. I swiped my finger over the screen and smiled for the first time since I’d left Jamie’s borrowed suite.
How was work?
I settled back against my headboard, my fingers moving across the screen before I had a chance to second-guess myself.
Good. Left early. Claire’s orders. What about you?
Took care of some paperwork, but good. Should I ask why C made you leave early?
My fingers hovered over my phone, not wanting to admit I’d been worthless at work. But if we were going to make this work, we’d have to start talking to each other.
Too distracted to be worth shit.
As I stared at the screen, my smile began to fade when no message came throug
h. I had my fingers poised to type up an excuse for my distraction when the next message appeared.
Same problem here. Too much thinking about last night.
Care to share?
The next reply came much quicker.
Couldn’t stop thinking about the shower.
My cock twitched as heat flooded my body thinking about the shower I’d just taken and our shower last night.
Speaking of showers, just took one.
Bet it wasn’t nearly as fun.
I snorted as my fingers flew across the screen.
Not quite, but it doesn’t mean you weren’t in there with me.
Another pause, but not quite as long this time.
Too bad I don’t remember this shower. Details?
I thought about asking Jamie to come over so I could give him the details in person.
Let’s just say I’m much more relaxed now.
Again, too bad I missed it. Lunch or dinner before I leave town?
The semi I was sporting wilted when I ran through my schedule in my head. I had burned my day off with the auction dinner last night, not to mention the fact Claire had covered me tonight since I couldn’t even butterfly a pork chop without mutilating it. The thought of him leaving without us seeing each other again made the distance between Seattle and New York seem that much greater.
Working all week. Coffee at Wheelhouse between preps tomorrow?
The reply was instant.
Perfect. Meet you at Cal’s at 3.
FYI—you’re buying.
FYI—I’m headed to the shower.
I barked out a laugh as I read the last message several times, the tension the shower hadn’t worked out, slowly draining from my body.
Have a good shower, Golden Boy.
I plan to. See you tomorrow, E.
I fought the urge to text him back with a snarky reply just to keep the connection going. Instead I grabbed my charger and plugged my phone in, setting it on the bedside table and turning off the lamp. When I settled under the covers, the exhaustion from the past twenty-four hours finally caught up with me. My brain was still a whirlwind of confusion and questions, but for the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt something else. Hope.
* * *
The blare of music startled me out of a restless sleep as my heart pounded in my ears. I sat up, and reached for my phone, which had started to vibrate across the bedside table. Without even looking at the display I hit Answer and flopped back against the bed, hoping it was a wrong number.
“Yeah?”
There was a pause with static and a rustling in the background. I held the phone closer to my ear. “Hello? Is anyone there?”
“Chef? Ethan?” The frantic male voice sounded familiar but it took my brain a second to recognize Tyler’s hoarse voice. I pulled the phone away from my ear and peered at the clock. 11:45 p.m.
“Tyler? What’s wrong? Where are you?”
“Chef, I’m at the hospital. Claire’s here too.” He took a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry.”
I climbed out of bed and began yanking clothes on as anxiety started to churn in my stomach, the taste sour in my mouth.
“What happened, Tyler? Calm down.”
“Claire let me go home earlier, but I forgot my wallet. When I went back everything was locked up but all the lights were still on. Then I thought I smelled smoke. The door around back was locked and no one answered when I banged on it. So I broke the glass in the front door to get it open.”
He said something else and I pressed the phone harder to my ear.
“I’m sorry, Tyler, I didn’t catch what you just said. What happened?”
“There was a fire.”
Ice filled my veins as Tyler’s words sunk in and I ran my hand through my hair as fear filled my body. Please, no. Not Claire.
“Fuck, Tyler. Is she...?”
“They’re checking her out right now in the ER. I didn’t know who else to call.”
I shoved my feet in my chucks and grabbed my wallet and keys off the top of the dresser.
“You did good, Tyler. Which hospital?”
“Harborview.”
I disconnected and shoved my phone in my pocket, then ran like hell for my car.
* * *
Twenty long minutes later, I skidded the car into a visitor’s spot in front of the ER, slammed the door and took off running. If anyone had enough of a hard-on for stealing my old beater they could have it.
When I ran into the ER there was a line of people standing at the admissions desk. I shoved past all of them, not giving two shits when I heard complaints from behind me.
“I’m here for Claire Martin. I’m her brother.”
An older lady who sported a scowl better than I could pointed to the back of the line. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to get back in line and wait your turn.”
I waved her off. “Fuck that. My sister’s here and I need to know if she’s okay.”
“Sir, I’ll ask you again nicely to please wait your turn. If you can’t, I’ll have to call security.”
“Goddammit. Just tell me where she is and I’ll gladly get out of your way.”
“Chef!”
I whipped my head around as Tyler rushed toward me. With the most polite tone I could muster I turned back to the Admin nurse. “Thanks for all your help.”
I pulled Tyler off to the far side of the waiting room, my body vibrating with dread.
“What the fuck happened? Are you okay? Where’s Claire?”
Tyler’s face was ashen and he looked more like a lost little boy than the man he was. When he spoke, his words were rushed, regret infused in every syllable.
“I’m okay. My throat is a little sore from the smoke but I’ve already been checked out. God, Chef. I’m so fucking sorry. Claire said she had some inventory to do before she left so she told me and Craig to go. It was a slow night and she cut everyone loose so they could go home early for once. I told her I’d stay and help her but you know how Chef Martin is. I asked Craig if he wanted to walk out with me but he said he had some things to talk to Claire about, so I left. By the time I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my wallet in my locker and I went back.”
His eyes pleaded with me not to be angry. About what, I still didn’t have a clue.
“The fire, Tyler? What happened with the fire?”
He dropped into the closest chair, his body closing in on itself.
“I don’t know when it started, but I smelled smoke when I got to the restaurant. I freaked, Chef. I didn’t know what else to do besides break the door to get in. The dining room was filling with smoke and I called out for Chef Martin, but when I didn’t find her I ran to the kitchen.”
Tyler paused and wiped at his tear-filled eyes. “She was on the floor at the doorway of the pantry. I called out to Craig, but he didn’t answer either. I checked the office, but he must have left. Shit, Ethan. Claire...she wasn’t moving and there was smoke everywhere. I wouldn’t have even known anything was wrong if I hadn’t gone back for my wallet. I didn’t even think.” His voice shook harder the more he talked. “I found Claire and dragged her out of there as fast as I could. I was almost too late.”
He buried his face in his hands. I sat down next to him, laying my hand on his shoulder.
“You got her out. That’s all I care about. Did anyone find Craig?”
“I don’t have Craig’s number. I’ve been worried sick all night.”
I quickly took out my phone and pulled up Craig’s contact information. My dread ratcheted up a notch when it went straight to voice mail. “Craig, this is Chef Martin. I need you to call me as soon as you get this message.” I ended the call and looked at Tyler. “Shit. No answer and I don’t have any ot
her contact information for him with me.”
Tyler was about to speak when my phone chimed. A text message had just come through.
Didn’t get to the phone in time. Do you need me to work an extra shift?
Exhaling in relief, I shot off a quick reply.
We’ll talk soon. Just glad you’re okay.
“He’s fine and obviously left before there was any trouble at the restaurant.” I was about to put my phone away again, but stopped when a new, more upsetting thought entered my mind. “Did anyone call Cal? Does he even know what happened?”
A small nod was all I could get out of Tyler until he pulled himself together. He swiped at his face with the back of his sleeve, his eyes ringed with red.
“I called. And he said he was going straight to the restaurant. I just can’t... What if I hadn’t forgotten my wallet?”
My phone chirped again. Not in the mood to play texting tag with anyone right now, I almost didn’t check it. But a quick swipe of my thumb brought up a message from Cal’s wife, Vivian.
At Harborview. Cal’s been admitted for chest pains. Will let you know what we find out. How are Tyler and Claire?
My heart sank into my stomach as I quickly typed up a reply, my shaking hands making it much harder than it should have been.
In ER now. Text me as soon as you find out anything about Cal. No news on Claire yet. Tyler’s a fucking hero.
If I had been in anywhere but here with my sister safe at home where she should have been, Viv’s reply would have made me laugh.
One day I’ll find another adjective for your vocab. Give them both our love. Will text you when we know more.
I stared at the screen. My entire world was falling apart. I sagged against the back of the chair as the weight of what could have happened finally hit.
Claire. Cal. Tyler. The restaurant. In one fell swoop, everything I cared about had almost been destroyed. Claire was the only family I had left in the world. Cal was my mentor and de facto father figure whom I’d looked up to. The restaurant where I’d been working my ass off for eight years was on fire. Tyler had risked life and limb to save Claire.
With my head in my hands and my mind on overdrive, I almost didn’t feel Tyler’s tap on my shoulder.
In the Fire Page 21