by Raine Thomas
“I fail to see why the Guardians believe I need protection,” she had said, her star-blue eyes sparking with indignation. “I can protect myself.”
“You believe you can protect yourself,” he clarified, “and that is why the Guardians know you need my protection.”
Her expression had made him want to laugh, but he’d kept his face neutral. That only angered her more, just as he’d intended. The spark that lit her eyes when she was furious with him made him want to pull her close and kiss her.
He had no idea why.
Ty’s memories faded as he now heard Kyr humming in the bathroom beyond the closed door. She’d always had a lovely singing voice. He’d only rarely gotten to hear it.
He made sure the bedroom door was secure and then edged closer to the bathroom door. As he’d suspected she would, she transitioned from humming to singing. There was water running in the sink, but he heard her clearly. She sang a song about loving someone for a thousand years. It was slow and soulful. Everything about it spoke to him.
Because he was honed in on her, he caught her thought about a shower. She desperately wanted one, feeling that her scrubbing in the sink was insufficient, but she didn’t want to end up naked on the Alametrian ship if they decided to transition her in the middle of washing her hair.
The random thought might have made him smile if it hadn’t resulted in a clear mental image of Kyr standing under a stream of steamy water with soap suds running down her naked body. Before he could stop himself, he allowed the image to progress to him joining her in the shower. He would stand behind her in the hot water and touch her silky skin. She would lean back into him and moan as he reached around to cup his hands over her—
Damn it.
He sucked in a sharp breath as he struggled to control his wayward thoughts. His forearms burned fiercely. The thin lines etched into his skin glowed with incriminating light.
Kyr chose that moment to exit the bathroom. There was no hiding the glow, especially since seeing her with her beautiful hair unbound made it intensify. He decided to pretend nothing was wrong.
“What the hell is wrong with your arms?” she asked.
So much for that plan.
“Nothing,” he replied.
She dipped her head and gave him a look that told him she knew he was lying. Fortunately, she didn’t pursue it.
“Why are you still here?” she asked. “Haven’t you already inspected the bedroom?”
“I sleep where you sleep.”
Her mouth fell open.
“Kyr, we have more important things to discuss than sleeping arrangements,” he said. When her expression morphed into one of agreement, he continued, “There is something I wanted to discuss with you, but it wasn’t appropriate to do so in front of Sem. It pertains to your lesson prior to this one.”
Her head tilted in curiosity. He suddenly found himself unsure of whether he should pursue this with her. It crossed all kinds of boundaries, and it would certainly get them both into trouble if anyone found out.
“I’d like to know what happened,” she said, stepping closer to him.
If he hadn’t been watching her closely, he might have missed how her pupils dilated and her breathing grew more irregular. But he was trained to observe. He knew she was thinking about whatever memory had surfaced related to them kissing. He hadn’t responded to her question on the plane because Sem was there. Now, he decided to be honest with her.
“You asked if we have ever kissed,” he said.
Her eyes widened. “Yes.”
He heard the breathlessness in the word. It gave him the encouragement to say, “The answer is yes. Many times.”
Once again, her lips parted. Rather than appear shocked, however, she looked intrigued. Her eyes moved to his mouth. The pain in his arms flared again.
“The fact is,” he said, stepping closer to her until only a few inches separated them, “the last time we kissed, it had a beneficial result.”
Her eyes finally unlatched from his lips and met his gaze. “What result?”
“You remembered things.”
“I did?”
“Yes.” He reached out and touched the side of her face, ignoring the resulting burn in his arms. “And I think we should try that again.”
She held his gaze as if mesmerized. “Okay.”
If she hadn’t been so willing, he told himself, he could have turned back. If she hadn’t leaned into him and closed her eyes, lifting her magnificent face towards his, he would have had the discipline to convince them both that this was a bad idea.
Instead, he bent down and touched his lips to hers.
To him, the kiss was familiar. The same soft, full lips. The same intoxicating taste. The same sigh of pleasure she issued as she sank against him.
Yet it was so much more. It was the knowledge that time and again, despite the fact that she didn’t remember him, she desired him. Some part of her remained connected to him, knew him on a level that no one else did. What they shared far exceeded this kiss, though it was a damn good place to start helping her remember it.
He told himself to take it slow. There was no telling what his presence in her mind could do with the block in place. Knowing she would be concentrating on the kiss, which would allow him better access to her thoughts, he produced a memory to share with her…their first kiss. It had happened two years after he assumed his abilities as Dem-Shyr. She was in the midst of her second lesson, but he’d had to intervene when word came to him that her identity had been discovered by a hostile force. While he’d been trying to save her, she’d been giving him hell and making things difficult.
Eventually, he’d kissed her just to stop her complaining.
Now, he only brushed her lips a few times as he conveyed the memory. Okay, he might have drawn her lower lip gently between his teeth because he knew what kind of reaction he’d get. But he didn’t go further than that before he pulled away and looked down at her.
Her eyes were glazed with passion when she opened them. “TaeDane,” she said.
The way she spoke his name, whispered with a faint accent, told him everything he needed to know.
“You remember,” he said.
“I’m starting to.” Her hand reached up to touch the side of his face. “I’d like to remember more.”
He didn’t need any further encouragement. Bending down, he kissed her again. The memory he shared this time was of their second kiss. Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. Their first kiss had resulted in several…one right after the next. But the next time they kissed wasn’t until more than a year later. Kyr had experienced her first lesson in loss and tragedy. He had been unable to keep from approaching her as she mourned, feeling her emotions all too keenly.
The kiss that time had been far more than just two innocents experiencing their first taste of passion. It was then that his feelings for her began to transform.
Once again, he pulled away from her. She swayed slightly as her mind accepted the memory. He enjoyed the sight of her flushed cheeks, the sound of her rapid breathing, the feel of her soft body pressed against his. That all helped to offset the painful consequences for indulging himself in ways he shouldn’t.
“You weren’t kidding,” she said, meeting his gaze as she clung to him. “We really have done this a lot.”
“Yes.”
Her gaze grew troubled. “But I sense…”
“What is it?” he prompted gently.
“I don’t know,” she said, a frown appearing between her eyes. “It’s like I was holding back in those memories…like my reactions didn’t really match up with how the kisses made me feel.”
“You hadn’t yet learned the lessons you needed to connect them,” he explained.
“I hadn’t?” Her eyes searched his face, settling once again on his lips. “Have I learned them now?”
“Why don’t we find out?”
He lifted her so that her legs encircled his waist and her mouth was level with his. T
hen he kissed her again.
This time, he was thorough about it. He reached up to stroke her jaw, encouraging her to allow him to deepen the kiss. Her lips parted eagerly beneath his, granting him entrance. His tongue touched hers, the taste of her flooding his senses. She returned the kiss with equal passion. Her fingernails sank into the flesh of his shoulders. A sensual moan escaped her throat. Her lower body pressed against him.
His control fled.
Without him consciously realizing it, he maneuvered them over to the closest wall. He supported her weight against the firm surface with one of his thighs, allowing his hands the freedom to roam as he kissed her again and again. His body rubbed against hers, the agony in his forearms blending seamlessly with the fierce ache in his groin. The pain barely registered. He’d wanted her for a long time. Being this close to having her…
She sagged against him. Pulling away from her luscious mouth, he realized the rush of memories he’d generated through the kiss had overwhelmed her. He hadn’t maintained control over what he’d sent her.
“Kyr?” he asked.
His breath was choppy, his voice hoarse. She murmured a senseless response, her eyes not opening. Pressing his forehead to hers, he focused intently. Although the block was still there, he sensed that it was weakening. He also sensed that Kyr was physically and mentally exhausted. Sleep would help remedy her current state.
Silently berating himself for his carelessness, he lifted her and carried her over to the bed. He used one arm to hold her and tugged the blanket and top sheet down before laying her on the mattress. He removed her shoes, socks, and jeans to make her more comfortable, calling himself a glutton for punishment when he took in the sight of her shapely legs clad in nothing more than the scrap of white lace he’d scanned earlier. He retrieved her locator from her jeans pocket and placed it on the bedside table near her head. Between that and the one he carried, they’d be covered in the event the transition took place over night.
Once she was settled, he went into the bathroom, leaving the door open. He used the time as he prepared for sleep to calm himself down. It took him longer than it had in the past, he realized. His body ached for her…longed to claim her as his.
Before, he’d been able to talk himself down by rationalizing that it was a physical reaction. He’d long ago learned to manage pain and other physical responses. As long as he wasn’t touching Kyr, it hadn’t been a problem to get himself under control. Tonight, however, was a different story.
He spent as much time as he could in the bathroom, even washing his face again and using a second spare toothbrush and toothpaste from the collection Kyr had unearthed from the cabinet above the sink. Yet when he stepped back into the bedroom, his arms still bore a faint glow and his jeans were still decidedly uncomfortable.
Considering this, he kicked off his shoes and socks and climbed into the bed beside her. It would have been easy to tell himself the effects of their kiss lasted longer because it had been so long since he’d last touched her that way. He was male, after all, and unlike with other young Alametrians, his sexual impulses hadn’t been repressed. Indeed, due to the unique nature of his mental status, they couldn’t be repressed. So that would be a logical answer.
That wasn’t true, however. He acknowledged that as he pulled Kyr against him and lightly stroked her soft hair. She sighed and brought her arm over his waist as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
No, the reason for his heightened feelings of desire had only partly to do with his physical reaction to her. So why was he now desperate to have her…to feel her respond to him?
The answer was simple. He knew it because of how she’d reacted when she thought her Kyndred and Avana were in danger.
She’d learned her lesson on Earth. She had learned how to love.
And he wanted her heart.
Chapter 15
Memories blended with dreams. Kyra’s mind rolled from one scene to the next, struggling to separate truth from fantasy. Her emotions took a beating, flying high over some remembered accomplishment only to sink in despair over a devastating memory. Fear nearly overwhelmed her…fear that she’d never fully remember who she used to be, and an almost equal fear that she would.
She felt herself slowly surfacing from sleep. As she hovered on the edge of consciousness, another memory flashed through her mind.
“I do wish I could go outside for a bit, Mother,” she said, turning from the tall window in front of her to look at a striking woman with dark red hair and sky blue eyes.
“You know better than to address me so informally while in the company of others, Ma’jah,” her mother reminded her in a calm tone from her seat across the room. Her gaze moved pointedly to TaeDane, who stood only a few feet from Kyr.
Just like always, Kyr thought with a mental huff. “But it is just Ty,” she said, not even glancing at her Mynder.
Her mother gave her another patient look. “You mean Dem-Shyr TaeDane, Ma’jah Kyr.”
Frustration made Kyr want to scream. The stupid ceremony to officially make Ty her Mynder had happened a couple of months before. She didn’t see why everything had to change just because of that. Why did she have to be followed everywhere she went? Why were there so many more restrictions on her behavior? Why couldn’t she call her parents Mother and Father anymore?
She turned a sharp glare in Ty’s direction. This was all his fault.
He didn’t bat an eye even though he surely picked up every vile thought she directed at him. That only infuriated her more.
“I wish to go outside, Guardian,” she said, emphasizing the title in a petulant manner. “It isn’t as though I have requested to personally visit every megai in the land. I am kept under constant watch and never see anyone outside of the limited Alametrians you permit me to see. How am I supposed to become the Ascendant when I know only a tiny portion of the planet’s population?”
Her mother shook her head. “We have had this conversation, Ma’jah. It is unsafe and unwise for you to be exposed to all of Alametria before you have undergone your lessons. Dem-Shyr TaeDane also needs more time to get to know and understand you so that he may protect you as thoroughly as possible. Once you return to Alametria, you will meet everyone else.”
The memory faded. Kyra thought she heard the sound of murmured voices and struggled to wake up. Her mind and body felt sluggish and defeated, like she’d been through a battle. Rolling onto her side, she came into contact with a pillow. Ty’s scent rose from it, propelling her into another memory.
She wasn’t feeling well. Her lower abdomen was swollen and tender. It had been paining her for the better part of the day. It was unlike the discomfort of eating too many sweets. She had never felt anything like it.
Figuring her mother would confine her to bed for the rest of the week if she found out about the ailment, Kyr kept it to herself. By the time the mid-day meal was to be served, though, she thought she might have to say something. The pain was growing in intensity, as though someone was taking her insides and squeezing them mercilessly.
“Are you all right, Ma’jah?” Ty asked.
He studied her intently as she held her belly and fought the pain. His concern irritated her. No one else had to share every small part of their lives with another like she did. He could read her mind whenever he wanted. He knew things that she would much rather keep private.
It wasn’t fair! He had only been her Mynder for six months. How could he expect her to feel comfortable with him knowing every one of her secrets?
“I am fine,” she snapped.
But she wasn’t. Her abdomen was so sore. She couldn’t decide if she really had to use the bathroom or she was going to vomit. Something wasn’t right. She should have told her mother. The Guardians could have gotten one of the Rowe to evaluate her and offer treatment.
Hurrying to the water closet, she closed the door in Ty’s face. The door had no lock, but he wasn’t allowed to stand in the room with her, thank the great Yen-Ki. It
was bad enough that he was mentally connected to her during such a personal time. She had no idea if he tuned in or not, but it was maddening nonetheless.
Lifting her skirts, she sat on the excrement tank. Sitting brought her some relief, but not much. Glancing down, she spotted her undergarments…which were covered in blood.
Her head swam. She hadn’t bled since she fell and scraped both knees just after learning to walk. Seeing this much blood from an unseen wound had her tilting on the tank. Only one thought got through.
Ty!
He opened the door and stepped in as though he had been waiting for her call for help. She wanted to tell him what was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come. Her eyes couldn’t seem to lift from the stained fabric gathered at her feet.
“Remain calm, Ma’jah,” he said.
His hand touched her shoulder. A sense of calm came over her. She knew he was influencing her, but couldn’t find any reason to take exception to it. After a moment, she looked up at him. She expected to see disgust or alarm. His expression reflected neither. For once, she was grateful for his ability to control his reactions.
“I need aid,” she said at last.
He shook his head. “I do not believe you are in any danger. Unless I am mistaken, you have started menstruating.”
“What? Menstruate? What is that?”
He hesitated. “Kyr, when a female menstruates, she becomes fertile. That means she may bear children.”
Even in her induced state of calm, she lifted her eyebrows. “But I thought the Rowe were responsible for initiating a female’s fertility. It is only done when a female has been matched with her mate, after the repression has been removed by a Mynder.”
“That is true. I have never heard of a female beginning her menstrual cycle without the intervention of the Rowe. I can only guess that things are different with you because you are the Ascendant.” He glanced at the door, then back at her. “I imagine if anyone else should find out, you will be treated by the Rowe. Your fertility cycle will be stopped.”