by Brothers
Lizzie couldn’t quite put her finger on exactly what it was that she was discontented about, not just today, but in general. Since she had moved to London, she had always missed home, but lately the homesick feeling had felt a little more raw. She couldn’t exactly blame her job, it was good, as was the money, but she wasn’t enjoying it and even though she had moved up the corporate ladder, there just wasn’t much satisfaction in it for her. She tried to remember if there ever was. She was sure she liked London at some stage in her career, didn’t she? Maybe she was just bored or maybe it was because of missing home. She couldn’t decide and the more she watched the rain plop in massive droplets around her, the more her memories faded to Dublin, of her mum and her dad and how she missed him.
Peering outside the shelter of the doorway, she glanced up and down the street, the rain was easing, only slightly, but every cab was still whizzing by. In spite of her tailored dress and high-heeled shoes, she decided to make a run for Piccadilly station; it was then that a cab pulled up to the kerb.
‘Oh,’ she waved, attracting the driver’s attention. ‘Great,’ she said out loud, claiming the cab as hers. She reached across for the door and jumped in.
Lucas was inside.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked; she wasn’t sure if she was grateful or infuriated and even though, since she left him on Wednesday morning, he had attempted to phone her numerous times, she hadn’t spoken to him. She shook tiny droplets from her hair and brushed the wetness from her legs. The windows steamed up.
‘I knew it would be impossible to get a cab down here, so I jumped in one outside my building and thought I’d collect you,’ he said.
Lizzie flicked her fringe vigorously and tiny droplets sprinkled down her face, it was impossible to fix it without a mirror.
‘Did you not see my calls, I was afraid I’d miss you.’
‘If it hadn’t been raining so heavy, you would have,’ she answered. She didn’t elaborate on whether she had seen the calls or not. As a matter of fact if she hadn’t met Lucas, some six months before, she wondered would she have made the decision to leave London by now and return home like she wanted to; he had been the only thing she had wanted to stay for. But the excitement that she had felt since she had first met him had been dampened and in its place a seed of discontent had begun to sprout. He had let her down, just as London had, she thought. Both he and London had lost its appeal.
‘Will you come back with me, we’ll order in,’ he said, hoping that the monotonous day that she spent in the office had softened her.
‘Piccadilly, please.’ She ignored his pleas and instructed the driver to take her to the station. ‘I need to get home and pack.’ She looked at him for the first time since she sat in the cab. It had been a long day. ‘My flight is in the morning,’ she clarified.
‘I’ll make sure you get home, in time,’ he said, pleading with his eyes. ‘I promise,’ he said.
‘Okay’, she answered not returning his gaze. Lucas confirmed his address to the cab driver before Lizzie had a chance to change her mind.
The stale stench of the cab had blended with her wet clothes creating a vacuum of vomit-inducing odours and Lizzie had never been as relieved to pull up outside Lucas’s building. Her waist-length hair was plastered to her head and she was sure, even though she couldn’t check, that her mascara was likely to be running down her face.
‘After you,’ Lucas said as he opened the apartment door.
She nodded and forced a smile. ‘I’m just,’ she had toyed with the idea of continuing her silent treatment but couldn’t do it, ‘going to get out of these,’ she said, turning to look at him. She wasn’t the type to play games, what you saw was what you got with Lizzie. ‘We can talk then,’ she reassured him. Lizzie’s voice was soft, defeated almost, as she slinked inside the bedroom.
Without responding, Lucas continued to the fridge and pulled out a chilled bottle of wine. He gulped the first glass standing by the pale grey granite countertop before he poured one for her. Topping up his glass, he made his way to the sofa, placing both the full wine glasses on the table in front of him. He watched the daylight fade through the impressive windows from where he sat and the city lights glowed a warm amber through the haze of the raindrops.
‘Here,’ he said, handing her a glass when she came in; his second glass was already half-empty. ‘Or do you want something warmer?’ he asked, as she patted her hair dry.
‘No.’ She sipped a mouthful. ‘This is just fine.’ She sat beside him on the cream couch. ‘This okay?’ She motioned towards the gear she was wearing; his sports shorts and sweatshirt.
He nodded; she looked extremely gorgeous in his oversized clothes.
‘Listen,’ Lucas cleared his throat; he had rehearsed a few approaches and was going with his best pitch. If he had learned anything in journalism it was that he needed to know his audience, pitch the story exactly right. ‘I know you think I was taking advantage of the story, which I sort of was,’ he said. She watched as his hands moved animatedly when he spoke. ‘But, all connections aside…’ Her forehead scrunched, warning him to be careful with his words. ‘I mean…’ he fumbled for a quick second. ‘I have a contact from years ago, that has actually asked me to cover the story.’ He knew by her expression that she didn’t believe him. ‘In a sympathetic way, sort of. If you know what I mean,’ he said, struggling to find the words.
‘Cover a murder story in a sympathetic way,’ Lizzie repeated, her tone disapproving. ‘I don’t get what you mean.’
‘It’s an old friend, a girl I went to college with,’ he said, knowing that it sounded far worse than it actually was.
‘Perfect,’ Lizzie said, sighing deeply as she considered what to do next. ‘So you won’t not cover it for me, but you will actually cover it for her,’ Lizzie said. ‘Is that what you are saying? she asked.
‘It’s not like that, Lizzie, its different, I mean…’ he stumbled through his explanation. His promise to Marie prevented him from telling Lizzie the truth, for now at least, and now more than ever , not only for Marie and Michael’s sake but for the Fitzpatricks’ as well, there was no way he couldn’t get involved.
‘That’s fine, Lucas.’ Lizzie uncurled her legs from under her and rose from the sofa, her bare feet sunk into the deep pile rug. ‘I think I’ll get that cab now,’ she said. ‘Can I get these to you, another time?’ she asked, her strong voice sliding lower as she pointed to the clothes she wore. She could understand his enquiring mind wanting nothing more than to follow a lead, investigate and report, what she couldn’t reconcile was how odd she felt that he didn’t consider her first, whether or not she wanted him to cover it, and secondly, and the worst insult yet, that he’d do for some other girl what he wouldn’t do for her.
‘No, Lizzie, not like this, wait till I explain,’ he said, desperate for her to understand.
‘No need,’ she answered. ‘It’s okay, I’m not overreacting, I’m just…’ She paused. Her thoughts were flipping inside her head. She’d had enough of London and everything to do with it. ‘I’m just going home to pack,’ she said and left slamming the door behind her.
Chapter 21
Thursday Evening – 2016
Kelly had carefully selected his shirt for the evening. Accustomed as he was to casualwear, he wore his best blue casual shirt and a clean pair of jeans. Louise was used to seeing him dressed down, especially in the evenings, so tonight would be no different. After his quick shower and a brush of his teeth, he grabbed his phone, wallet and key card and made his way to the lift, pausing briefly as he passed Louise’s door. ‘Fecking eejit,’ he muttered to himself, only too aware of the mess he had made the night before.
Louise rooted in the bottom of her Ted Baker make-up bag. She was convinced she had thrown a tester-size perfume spray in yesterday when she’d packed but she couldn’t find it. She upended her bag and all its contents on the bed. ‘Aha!’ she said to herself. ‘I told you I had brought it.’ She caught her
reflection in the desk mirror and laughed. She sprayed the perfume sparingly onto her soft powdery skin.
Kelly checked the clock over the bar and ordered her a beer as he saw her coming. True to form, she was twenty minutes late, he was already on his second beer.
‘I hope I kept you waiting,’ Louise quipped when she found Kelly at the bar. He appreciated her joke, but threw her an exasperated look anyhow. ‘Shall we eat, I’m bloody starving.’
They walked towards the dining area and were shown to their seats.
‘You look…’ Kelly paused trying to find just the right amount of compliment without sounding too cheesy.
‘Lovely?’ He pitched the end of the word as though it was a question.
She smiled at him. She knew he meant it.
‘Well,’ Louise had devilment in her eyes and she had every intention of making Kelly work for his forgiveness, ‘what’s the explanation for the shitty behaviour last night?’
Kelly shook his head in response. ‘Jesus,’ he laughed, he supposed he shouldn’t have expected anything different, ‘would you give me a minute, to order?’ He tapped her menu across the table, trying to get her to focus on her food.
She called the waiter by lifting her hand. ‘We’ll have two steak and chips, well done, and two more bottles of that beer.’ She pointed to the beers that Kelly had brought to the table. ‘Now,’ she smirked at his reaction, ‘food is organised, tell me why you were a prick?’
Kelly exhaled and rubbed his face. A black shadow of stubble had spread across his cheeks and chin. There was something mesmerising about the girl, he thought, she blew him away. ‘Well,’ he laughed, sensibility had abandoned him, ‘If you must know,’ he couldn’t believe he was about to confess to her, ‘I was annoyed.’ He shook his head at himself, knowing he was putting his head in the lion’s mouth but happy to do it anyway, ‘I was annoyed because—’
‘Two beers.’ The waiter placed the beers in front of them. ‘Would you like a glass?’ he asked Louise.
She was growing impatient; she was very interested in what Kelly had to say. ‘No thank you,’ she almost barked. ‘And neither does he.’ She forced a smile on her face, compensating for her sharpness.
‘Okay.’ The waiter left, not sure if he had offended her or walked in to an argument, either way, he would be careful the next time he had to approach the table.
‘You were saying,’ Louise urged Kelly to continue.
He took the third bottle and gulped, gaining courage to speak his mind with every swallow. ‘I was saying…’ He stopped and gazed at her and she didn’t look away. Her eyes sparkled with mischief. She wasn’t typically beautiful, in the false-eyelashed, fake-tanned, footballer’s wife kind of way. It was something far more elusive that she had, that was what made her so attractive. ‘Right.’ He drew a deep breath. ‘I was jealous.’ He exhaled as he said it. He played with his napkin on the table, avoiding her gaze. He peeped up at her and she was smiling. He took another gulp from his bottle, and then another. He continued until it was empty and held it aloft so that the waiter could bring another.
‘Jealous,’ she repeated; she contorted her face, trying her utmost to suppress the grin that was rapidly spreading from ear to ear. ‘Of what?’
The waiter returned swapping the empty bottle for the full. ‘Would you like some tomato bread?’ he asked, to which neither of them replied. They remained looking at each other until he left.
‘I overheard you talking to Alex, I thought she,’ he coughed, ‘was a he.’ He threw his eyes upwards. ‘I heard your plans for Alex to come to your hotel room and, well, you know what I thought.’ He looked up at her. ‘Her obviously now being your sister, I realise, it was a girly sleepover thing not a man coming to sleep with you kind of thing.’ He gestured his hands, knowing that he was rambling. ‘And I was green with jealousy at the thought of it.’ He put down his bottle, rubbed his hands on his face; the clamminess left a shine on his cheeks. He held her gaze; he couldn’t tell how she was reacting. ‘There I said it.’ He squinted, cringing with embarrassment.
‘Kelly, I don’t know what to say.’ Louise was utterly stumped. She was thrilled he had the same feelings for her as she had for him.
‘That’s a first.’ Kelly felt somewhat lighter than he had in years.
‘Very funny,’ she whispered. ‘Talk about bolt from the blue.’ She looked across at his shirt and noticed he looked well. ‘Or bolt from the man in blue,’ she managed.
‘Don’t say anything, no need; I’m sure I’ll get over it.’ He swigged from his bottle, throwing his eyes around the room. She knew he was embarrassed. ‘Beer goggles,’ he quipped.
‘It’s just that…’ she spoke softly; she knew how hard it must have been for him. ‘I have a policy, a rule that I’ll never be with anyone from work.’
‘That’s fine, don’t worry about it,’ Kelly said. It was cringeworthy, having admitted his feelings to her and then, even though part of him expected it, to be turned down.
‘So, it’s a good thing,’ she reached across the table and touched his hand with hers. ‘It’s a good thing,’ she waited for him to lift his eyes, ‘that I have a bit of a reputation for breaking the odd rule here and there.’ Her eyes danced in his direction, her smile grew even larger on her face. ‘Even my own rules.’
‘What… what did you say?’
‘I said it’s a good thing that, if the reason is good enough, I am prepared to break the rules.’ She deliberately spoke with a drawl, mimicking him for being slow on the uptake.
‘Really.’ Kelly couldn’t believe his luck.
‘Really.’ She smiled; she looked around for the waiter, telling him they had changed their minds. ‘Let’s go somewhere quieter,’ she suggested.
Kelly looked at his watch. His time with her was limited. He couldn’t believe what was happening.
*
Just before eight, Alex popped the card in the slot to illuminate Louise’s room. The housekeeping team had already drawn the curtains and Louise’s clothes were draped messily across the backs of the upholstered chairs. The room had been serviced but there was no mistaking that Louise had been here. Some of her jewellery lay tangled on the dresser and a half-squeezed bottle of moisturiser slouched on the desktop. Alex checked the clock; it wasn’t like her not to show up.
*
‘You know what’s funny?’ Next door, Louise disentangled herself from Kelly’s clasp.
Kelly lifted the sheet that barely covered them both. ‘Eh, no,’ he said, smirking, eyeing her naked body next to his under the tunnel the sheet had created.
‘Behave, I didn’t mean…’ Louise playfully sighed and pulled the sheet back over them. ‘I mean,’ she turned his jaw towards her so that he could look her in the eyes, ‘I think it’s funny, that we can work with each other, every day,’ her finger traced the black and grey hairs that curled on his chest, ‘and get on so well.’ Kelly shrugged as though that was a matter of opinion. ‘Behave, we do get on well.’ She slapped him gently. ‘I mean,’ she opened her eyes wider; she needed him to know that she was serious, ‘it’s just that we spend all this time together and we barely know anything about each other.’
‘We do, we know loads,’ Kelly answered. He ran his hand gently over the curve of her hip to her ribcage and back to park his hand across her waist.
‘Oh really, you didn’t even know I had a sister called Alex,’ Louise exclaimed.
‘True,’ Kelly answered. ‘Well what do you want to know, then, shoot.’
‘I don’t know, what do you want to tell me?’ she asked. There were so many questions swimming around her brain.
‘There’s nothing to tell, what you see with Tony Kelly is what you get,’ he said.
She lifted her head from where she lay in the crux of his arm and pushed herself upright on the bed, folding her legs in front of her, and pulled the sheet up over her chest and tucked it around herself.
‘Although, if you must know, my legs don’t fold like th
at,’ he joked. She continued to look at him, unsatisfied that he was taking her seriously enough. ‘I have a feeling though,’ Kelly scooched himself up in the bed, placing a pillow behind his back, ‘that there is a question that you would like to ask me.’
‘I just want to know more, more about Tony, that’s all,’ Louise said.
‘Just ask, and it really feels weird when you call me Tony, I keep thinking I’m in trouble.’
‘Well, where do you go every Tuesday afternoon, for instance?’ It had been a question she had wanted to ask for months. She wondered at times could it have been AA meetings, but then she never really saw any signs of that, and besides, she was his drinking buddy so if it was AA it wasn’t working.
‘Really, that’s what you want to know.’ He smiled at her curiosity. ‘Not what my politics are, what the meaning of life is to me, or how much money I have saved.’ He ducked as she swiped at him.
‘I’m only interested because you won’t tell me, and I think you won’t tell me because there’s something to hide.’ She worried that there was something more serious she was missing.
‘I’ve no problem telling you about Tuesdays.’
‘Well?’ Louise waited.
‘On Tuesdays, I spend the afternoon with Annie. Annie is my girl,’ Kelly said. ‘We normally stay together for the entire afternoon and evening and then I bring her back home. She loves to come to my house, sometimes we cook, sometimes we order in, that’s what we do,’ he explained. ‘It depends on what she feels like.’
‘What?’ Louise’s forehead scrunched. ‘Annie?’ She shook her head at her own stupidity, how could she not have known. ‘You’ve a daughter?’