Natalya appreciated the sincerity in his voice. She didn't know what was wrong with her and she had no way to explain it. She resorted to teasing in an effort to bring back the fragile camaraderie between them. Oh, great, so if I take a few lovers, you'd know. That's what you're telling me.
If you decide to take lovers, ainaak enyem, be very certain they are men you consider enemies and wish destroyed. He sounded very calm, but she felt the bite of his teeth as they snapped together.
I'm going to have to really work at understanding the concept of lifemates and how you were able to bind us together. I really am very good at turning spells around. The ritual words have to be a type of binding spell. There must be a way to undo what you did. I'm fairly confident I'll be able to figure it out.
Vikirnoff winced inwardly. It was evident that Natalya intended to be rid of him as quickly as possible, anyway that she could. She regarded him as an enemy of her family. Most of all she didn't like him. And that hurt.
He turned that piece of information over and over in his mind. He couldn't remember anything hurting him emotionally. Not a single incident. There must have been moments in his childhood, in his youth as a fledgling, yet this moment, this realization hurt deeper than anything he remembered.
What is it?
So she was tuned to him whether she wanted to be or not. She wasn't touching his mind, yet she felt his sudden wrenching heartache.
I cannot lie to you either and I would prefer not to discuss it. He would prefer to do the things necessary for their survival. For Natalya's survival. He didn't need to turn into a pathetic romantic who expected his lifemate to be enamored of him. It didn't matter whether she was or not. They were joined, two halves of the same whole. That was all that mattered.
Natalya nibbled on her lower lip, trying to puzzle out what was wrong. In the short time she'd known him, she'd come to realize Vikirnoff rarely showed emotion. Not in his tone, not in his expression, not even in what he said. Only his eyes were alive, raw power, hunger, desire, an intensity that overwhelmed her. She was grateful she couldn't see them now. She didn't want to see hurt or sorrow. Her stomach was tied into knots at the thought of it.
Neither one of us is very good at talking things out, are we? she asked. Her hands
smoothed the feathers at the back of his neck.
I guess that is so. I never had much need to discuss feelings when I had none. I relied on my own judgment in battle, in every decision, in every way. Who was there to discuss things with and what would I discuss? If it was an apology, he knew it was a poor one. He honestly didn't know what people talked about or how they did it.
You've spent a long time alone, haven't you?
There was a small silence. Natalya feared he wouldn't answer. She found she was holding her breath waiting.
Centuries. I have been cut off from my homeland and my people, sent out long ago to battle the vampire. When the darkness crouched too close, I found my brother and remained with him to ensure he did not succumb before I made the choice to end my life. That wait was long and the darkness spread until I was no longer certain who I was.
It was the simple truth. She heard it in his voice. A lifetime of honor and service told in three sentences. It did not convey the stark isolation, the emptiness of emotion and color, yet she felt it as surely as if she'd been there and she found herself weeping for him.
Do not think of something that will cause you sorrow, ainaak enyem, look beneath us to the world below and enjoy this time.
Natalya lifted her chin, allowing the wind to carry her tears away. You'd better not be calling me a «little slip of a girl.»
His laughter was low and sensual. She felt it in the pit of her stomach, lower still, a curling heat that spread throughout her body and pooled into a throbbing ache. I will certainly never make that mistake again.
She looked beneath her to the wild countryside they were circling. There were deep gorges cut into the mountain and she could see several entrances to caves. The meadows were a vivid green even in the gathering darkness. Wildflowers bloomed everywhere, in the valleys, clinging to the sides of the rock and valiantly decorating the plateaus. As Vikirnoff swooped lower she could see in the deeper depressions where water filled the basins forming a peat bog. The beds of moss were a vivid green, enhanced by several shallow pools. The moss beds wound their way around stands of birch and pine.
It is so beautiful.
Yes, but I feel uneasy. Do you not feel the subtle warning in the air around us when I drop into the mist near the peak of the mountain?
Vikirnoff circled around once again, flying straight into the white mist hovering around
the mountaintop. Natalya stiffened as she felt the subtleties of magick weaving a web of fear through her. We must be close to the entrance.
Vikirnoff landed on the nearest outcropping, gripping hard with his talons and extending one wing politely.
She slid off of the extended wing, landing on her feet. The ground seemed to shake as she adjusted to land again. «This is definitely the place. The feeling of wanting to leave is much stronger here.»
Vikirnoff shifted shape a distance from her, knowing the wrenching of bones and muscle would be agony. He did it fast, not wanting to give himself time to think about it, clothing himself at the same time. Spots of blood dotted his white shirt and when he swiped his hand across his brow, his palm came away smeared with blood. Cursing softly, he breathed deep to ride above the pain and did another quick healing session to repair the damage the shifting back and forth caused. Once he was certain there was no trace of the blood on his body or clothes, he strode over to the boulder and paced around it, careful not to disturb anything should there be a trap.
Natalya watched him coming toward her. He staggered, his hand going to his chest in an involuntary gesture, but he recovered immediately, walking as if he were fit and strong. He carried an edge of danger without even being aware of it. Had she not known he was so severely injured, looking at him now, she would never have known.
She sighed. She had so many issues to settle with him. First and foremost, the ridiculous spell that bound them together, but she could set all that aside for later and work with him if she could trust him. Every instinct told her she could, yet her mind churned with turmoil, guilt ever present and the sound of her brother's voice continually admonished her.
«What is it, Natalya?»
His voice turned her heart over. That was the trouble. He had those eyes and that voice and she responded completely to him. «You looked into my mind to try to find who put me under compulsion, didn't you, Vikirnoff?»
«Yes.» He wasn't going to try to deceive her. He saw no need for it, and no need to apologize. If he was going to keep her safe, he needed to know who had put her under such a strong compulsion and why. «I did not have much time to find answers, but I have not yet finished.»
Natalya took a deep breath. What she was about to do might be worse than anything she'd ever done in her life. «Do I have memories of Xavier? My grandfather? Other than stories told to me by my father, I mean.»
Vikirnoff leaned against a boulder and studied her face. His gaze was focused, sharp, missed nothing at all. «That is a strange question, Natalya. Why would you ask such a
thing? How could you have memories if he is dead?»
«I don't know. I have disturbing dreams of him. He creeps into my dreams and when I try to remember my childhood with Razvan while I'm awake, I cannot. It's hazy and distant and pieces are missing. I have been afraid for some time that my memories of him are buried.» She forced herself to look at him when she feared he might think she was crazy.
Vikirnoff was silent. She was nervous with him, attempting to trust him with something important to her, but more than that, he recognized the significance to his people. Xavier was a mortal enemy of the Carpathian people. He had murdered and kidnapped and waged war for one purpose, one end. He sought immortality. Should Xavier be alive he would be planning another st
rike against the Carpathian people. It didn't seem possible, but it had always bothered Vikirnoff that no body had been found to substantiate the claims of Xavier's death. Vikirnoff needed to choose his words carefully and not alienate her. He knew he didn't have the necessary skills to sweet-talk his lifemate. He only had the truth.
«Are you afraid Xavier is alive? That he is the one who placed you under compulsion? And that perhaps he tampered with your memories as well?»
Natalya sighed. «I don't know. I can't remember anything about him other than the stories told to me by my father, but I have dreams and they aren't pleasant. Worse, my father disappeared when I was ten. Razvan and I couldn't have lived alone, but I can't recall those days, or who took care of us. I dream about them and Xavier creeps into every dream.»
«Do you suspect that he is alive?»
Natalya pressed her hand to her churning stomach. She did suspect Xavier lived, but that was crazy. She'd suspected it for some rime. And she worried that he wasn't the wonderful man her family had portrayed to her. Her dreams were often disturbing and Razvan and she suffered greatly at his hands. She had flashes of memories during waking hours that made no sense, memories of a shadowy figure that terrified her. She was afraid that man was Xavier.
«I don't know,» she admitted reluctantly. «I know he was a dark mage and capable of controlling memory, but if he is alive and he didn't want me to remember him and he was altering my memories, why didn't he completely wipe himself from my mind? And what would be the purpose?»
Vikirnoff's dark eyes moved over her face, drinking her in, devouring her. She was so beautiful to him with her strong will and her warrior ways. When she sounded so confused and forlorn, his heart turned over. «Maybe he could not. You have tremendous strength in you, Natalya. Could he have controlled your memory to some extent but perhaps found it impossible to wipe it clean?»
She looked so downcast, so vulnerable, he stepped forward and framed her face with his hands. «I think you are a surprise to everyone you meet. You have more strength of will in
you, more power coiled in you, than even you are aware. I see it in you. And I feel it when I am close to you. It would not matter how powerful a mage your grandfather is, I doubt he could wholly manipulate you should he attempt such a thing, because you have too much strength of character.»
Tears glittered in her eyes and tangled on her lashes. «That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.»
«It is simply the truth.» He bent forward, his breath warm against her cheek. «You break my heart when you cry, Natalya.»
Natalya's heart nearly stopped beating when she felt his lips, smooth, firm, velvet soft, brushing away her tears. She hadn't been touched in years and he was seducing her with tenderness. «I don't mean to.»
«I know. That is what makes it so appealing.»
He kissed the corners of her mouth. She knew she should stop him, but she didn't want to. She waited, lungs burning for air, her heart beating too fast. His mouth settled over hers with infinite gentleness. Warmth spread and erupted into flames, searing her from the inside out. His arms enfolded her close, brought her into the heat of his body. Against his heavily muscled chest, his wildly beating heart. His scent enveloped her and she opened her mouth to his, tongue stroking hers with sudden wanton abandon.
Vikirnoff's kiss went from gentle to rough the moment she responded, the moment she gave herself to him, deepening into a fiery tango of possession and hunger and sheer passion. His hands bunched in her hair to pull her closer still until their mouths fused together in heat and fire.
They devoured one another, Natalya seeking his skin through his clothes. It wasn't until she felt him wince that she lifted her head and looked into his black eyes. «You are one beautiful man.»
«Men are not beautiful.» He traced her mouth with his fingertip.
She bit at him, drew his finger into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it. «Maybe not to you, but you certainly are to me.» She could see how pale he was. Stark hunger burned in his eyes-both physical and sexual hunger. Her womb coiled tightly. «You need to feed again. The flight and shifting took too much energy.»
Her voice was sultry with invitation. His entire body clenched in reaction, every nerve ending coming alive.
«I need to be deep inside of you.» His lips skimmed down her neck, her throat, lower still, nudging aside the neckline of her shirt so he could flick his tongue over the swell of her breasts. So his teeth could tease sensitive skin. «You have no idea how much I want you.» His hands pushed at her shirt, moving it up to bare her stomach and her enticing
navel. «What is this?» He bent her back so that she rested against the slope of a boulder while he inspected the small belly button ring she was wearing. He nibbled at it, played with it with his tongue, flicking small velvet strokes much like a cat against her bare skin.
«I think you like it.» He was making her crazy with desire. Her body was hot and aching and heavy with the need for release. His fingertips rubbed over her skin, pushing her shirt up further until he was touching the undersides of her breasts. She thought she might go out of her mind. Just the simple brush of his fingers on her sensitized skin had her dizzy with need.
«It is the only thing you should wear.» He kissed the sparking gold band and tasted his way up her bare skin to her breast.
Natalya shivered in reaction, her hands tightening on him, pulling him closer to her, urging him on. She had never wanted anything more than she wanted the feel of his hands and mouth moving over bare skin. His teeth scraped erotically and her entire body tightened, heat building until she was nearly crying for relief. His mouth closed over her breast, hot and moist and so unbelievably seductive, she felt her body dissolve into liquid. «Vikirnoff.» She whispered his name, stroked his hair. «I'm not going to make it if you keep this up.» She didn't want him to stop. She wanted to strip the clothes from her body and wrap herself around him.
We could be in deadly peril here. The reminder was punctuated with flicks of his tongue.
She laughed aloud. «You can't say deadly peril. In all those late night movies the stupid teens know they are in danger and they take time to kiss and touch just like this…» She groaned when his tongue flicked her nipple and sent waves of desire shooting through her bloodstream. «And then Freddie comes and kills them and they deserve it.»
His mouth pulled strongly at her breast until her legs nearly gave out. There are no vampires near so I do not think your Freddie will bother us right now. But if you are worried, we can leave this place.
She groaned at the hopeful note in his voice, that deep husky aching note that tore her apart. Natalya smoothed his long hair. «I cannot leave.» She said it simply, her throat raw, her heart breaking. It was the truth. She couldn't break the compulsion and leave the cave without entering it. «I'm sorry.»
Vikirnoff nuzzled her breast once more and kissed his way higher until he found the pulse beating strongly right over the swelling curve. Never be sorry for what you cannot change. I have you in my arms and that is enough.
Natalya closed her eyes as his tongue swirled over her pulse. Her body throbbed and burned for him, but at the touch of his tongue, everything in her stilled. Waited, tense with need. His teeth sank deep and she cried out, clinging to him as the white-hot pain flashed through her and gave way to pure erotic pleasure. His hand cupped her breast, thumb
sliding gently over her nipple while he fed from her pounding pulse.
He was nearly starved for her. For the essence of life. It all mingled together, his need of both. Hot. Sexual. He fought to stay centered when he wanted to lose himself in the lust and hunger. He heard the warning growl rumbling in his throat as the beast rose, fighting for supremacy, fighting to insist on the right to his lifemate. His body felt hard and painful but gloriously alive. He felt, his emotions and his cravings intense, so strong it shook him. He swept his tongue across the pinpricks at the top of her breast and pressed his lips across the creamy flesh.
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They were bound together. Already his mind dwelt within hers. Their soul was shared, a complete bonding. He didn't want to wait for the joining of her body. Waiting went against every instinct, but he sensed she was not emotionally tied to him. If he lost himself in her body, could she call him back? Would she even try?
What is it? Natalya straightened, not bothering to drag her shirt over her exposed breasts. She felt dreamy, wanton, hungry to touch his skin, to taste him. Centuries old drive took over and she used the palms of her hands to inch his shirt up to bare his chest to her. She ran the pads of her fingers over his chest, traced his muscles, leaned forward to taste his skin. He cupped the back of her head and pressed her closer, his hips moving against her body in a slow seductive rhythm.
«I don't actually like to take blood. I do it only when necessary,» she confided, her lips feathering against his chest. Her tongue stroked over his hammering pulse. Once. Twice. She heard him groan. «But I can't resist the way you taste.»
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