by Helen Scott
“But Freya just said the fates do everything, that they would be in control of when I meet my fifth mate, of how I would meet him. Surely they can control what I do with Jax as well?”
“They can to an extent,” Freya said, pausing as though she needed to figure out what or how exactly to phrase something so I would understand. “The fates are not in control of Ragnarok, not fully. If they were, it probably would have already happened when they were angry at Havi at one point.”
Odin jumped in and added, “Those old crones know when Ragnarok is supposed to happen. They know what will lead up to it, and they know that people like you, people who have the magic of the gods running through their veins, can derail those plans or cement them further into place. But that doesn’t mean they can control every single tiny aspect of Ragnarok.”
Cawing sounded from the ravens above, as though they were agreeing with their master. Odin nodded as though they had reminded him of something and said, “The fates weave individual lives. The entire universe is on its own path, its own way forward. Technically, those from Asgard are on a different path than the people of Midgard, as are the giants of Jotunheim and the souls from Helheim. Every realm has its own path forward. Just because we’re all connected to Yggdrasil, the tree of life, does not mean we all have the same life path to follow.”
“For now though, all we need to know is that you are on our side, that Fenrir has no hold over you,” Freya said, drawing my attention back to her.
“He doesn’t. If I could just get him to leave me alone, then you’d be able to see that for yourself,” I replied, anger lacing my words.
“This will be a hard decision for you to make, child, but you will figure out a way to silence his voice and bring stability and magic back to your kind. Keep believing in yourself and your mates. They are each special in their own way, and once you find your fifth, you will become even stronger.” Freya’s words faded as she spoke, and I knew I was losing the dream.
I glanced over at Odin one last time before it was gone completely, and all I could see was the shine of his single eye in the dark as the faint caw of his ravens sounded around me, bouncing in my skull. It was like he wanted me to know that he was watching, listening, waiting for me to swing the pendulum back to center. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to give him what he wanted, but I’d try. I just had to ignore the fear in my heart, the one that I was scared to voice most of the time, that said I was going to mess everything up and Jax would win anyway, no matter how hard I tried to fight.
18
Nina
I woke with a gasp. It wasn’t that the dream with Freya and Odin had been particularly scary, but more that it had happened at all. Either my imagination was phenomenally talented and I should start writing or painting or something, or everything that was happening was actually real. Both options were intimidating, to say the least.
The only sound in the room other than my mates’ steady breathing and even steadier heartbeats was my rapid one. I knew if I didn’t calm myself down that I’d be the one that woke them up, because they would be worried something was wrong. It was because I didn’t want to wake them, and also because I needed time to process everything I’d just dreamed or experienced, that I moved into a sitting position on the bed.
I moved slowly so I didn’t disturb Tate, who had been curled up against my back. I was at the edge of the bed, and since I didn’t remember getting into bed at all, I was guessing someone put me there. Gently, I pushed to my feet, wincing as the springs of the mattress creaked a little from the movement. The carpet scratched against my feet, the old, worn fibers rough against my skin, even though I didn’t remember taking my shoes and socks off.
Glancing across the room, I could see that everyone was asleep. On Tate’s other side was Roman, probably too stubborn to sleep in a different bed than me, and in the second bed, Blake and Micah were cuddling. I wasn’t even sure if they knew they were doing it, but it was adorable.
The bathroom was darker than the main room, but I could still make out everything that I needed to. I turned the handle of the faucet, and the water poured free from the tap and raced over my fingers. After I splashed some of the liquid on my face, I stood and stared at myself in the mirror for a moment. Who was this bruised and battered woman that was a descendent of Freya? She certainly didn’t seem like Sam’s kid sister any more, or the apple of her parents’ eye, let alone the mechanic that only spoke when absolutely necessary.
I was a shell of who I used to be, and yet I was okay with that. I was discovering who I was at my core, who the real Antonia was, and she had a backbone of steel and a right hook to match. She wasn’t afraid of a fight or standing up for what was right, but she wasn’t afraid of love either, not anymore. Now she had more than she’d ever dreamed of during those years that she was alone. She was a force to be reckoned with, and even Freya and Odin acknowledged that. At least for now.
Something I’d realized was that life seemed to come in phases, kind of like the moon that ruled our lives, that called to our wolves. Even when the moon was new or crescent, it didn’t mean that it wasn’t whole. The moon was always there, being the moon, but what others saw changed.
I felt a little like that. I was finally starting to love and accept myself and my life for what it was, and I knew even if some people only ever saw a sliver of who I was, I was whole with or without their approval. Part of that confidence and knowledge came from my mates, from knowing I had them at my back. Always.
“Everything okay, beautiful?” Micah asked sleepily from the doorway.
I turned to him and grabbed a towel to dry my hands and face, which up until that point, had just been dripping. I hadn’t cared when it was just me giving myself a pep talk in the mirror, doing some self-reflection, but now I wanted to touch and be touched, and I didn’t want to do that with wet hands.
“I’m fine, just a weird dream,” I said quietly, my voice barely even a whisper. “I’ll be back in bed in a minute.” I ran my hand down his arm, my fingers light against his skin.
“Nina, what’s wrong?” Micah asked, his voice more awake now and his tone gentle and loving enough that I couldn’t help but respond.
“I just was realizing how different my life was now, how different it will be when we find my fifth mate, all of that kind of stuff. Nothing major,” I said, trying to play it off.
“Nothing major? Your life is massively different from what it was, and I hope you think it’s a good difference, though I can understand missing parts of your old life.”
I realized in that moment how selfish my thoughts had been. I wasn’t the only one with a different life. Each of my mates had a different life now as well. I’d never even seen Blake or Tate’s homes, and I probably wouldn’t see my fifth mate’s home either, not until it was safe at least. I’d known that Micah was into music and that Roman was old-school and still read a physical paper every morning, but both of them had missed out on things that they loved since this whole thing had started.
“I’m sorry if life isn’t what you want it to be right now, but I have to believe that we’ll get back there. None of us want to live like this forever.” I smiled tightly at him.
“I didn’t mean it like that, more that I don’t really know much about your life before everything started. I mean, we’ve talked about it a bit, but Roman is the only one who got to see you in action being a mechanic,” Micah joked.
“Once this is over, I’m taking a look at Tate’s car, so you’ll get to see me in action then. The poor thing shouldn’t sound like that,” I said with a wink.
“Are you a coveralls mechanic or a Daisy Dukes and crop top mechanic? Please say the latter.” Micah’s voice was full of laughter as he spoke, which made my heart feel light.
“I don’t think my old boss would have been on board with short shorts and a crop top, but I could be persuaded to work in them I suppose. I mean, there would be a lot of bending over and leaning down to pick things up,” I teased.
<
br /> A rumble sounded from Micah’s chest and went straight to my core. “Fuck yes, I want to see that,” he growled out.
I could feel the heat flush through my body, and my core clenched with need at his tone, which only caused him to growl even more, making me react further. We became caught in a cycle of turning each other on until we had no choice but to do something about it, because there was no way either of us would be going back to sleep in our current states.
“Micah,” I breathed, unsure what I was trying to ask him to do.
Whatever it was though, he seemed to understand because he stepped toward me. One hand wrapped around the back of my neck and the other around my waist as he pulled me closer to him until I was pressed firmly against his body. Only then did his lips crash against mine, his assault on my senses like a storm coming ashore as he whipped me into a frenzy of need with just a few touches and his kiss. By the time he released me, I was gasping for breath and my core was a throbbing ache that demanded attention. I could feel the slickness between my thighs and knew that he could scent my arousal.
“Quick and dirty?” He growled the question, making my insides flutter with desire.
I nodded breathlessly.
That was all the agreement he needed as Micah ripped the boxer shorts I’d woken down my legs and sat me on the counter. He slid a hand between my legs, and I parted them to give him better access. He groaned as his fingers slipped between my folds.
“Always so ready for me, beautiful.” He nipped at my ear, and I felt him smear my wetness all over and up to my clit, which he tweaked in such a way that my back was bowing, thrusting my chest toward his face and my pussy toward his cock.
The wide head of his manhood pressed against my entrance, and I mumbled encouragement, already lost to the pleasure of his touch. When he pushed in, it was achingly slowly, and a high-pitched whine escaped me until he finally gave in and thrust into me hard enough that my head hit the mirror behind me.
“Shit! Sorry, Nina, are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes, just hurry up and fuck me. I want to come on your cock, Micah,” I replied with a growl at the end.
“Fuck, you’re going to make me lose it if you keep talking like that.”
I opened my mouth to respond and say something even dirtier, but his fingers were there, pushing in as he tried to silence me. I might not have been able to say what I was going to, but I could show him. As I swirled my tongue around the two digits that were in my mouth, he began to fuck me in earnest. My shoulders, which were resting against the mirror, squeaked against the glass occasionally, and I had a moment of guilt because I knew this would probably wake the others up.
As Micah pulled his fingers from my mouth, I scraped them lightly with my teeth, and I knew he felt the sensation all the way down to his cock because he had to pause and just stare at me for a moment. A second later, he withdrew from me and pulled me down from the countertop, spinning me around and bending me over before thrusting into me from behind. Already slicked with my juices, he was inside me within a couple of seconds, and I was groaning at the girth of him as he filled me. His hand came around and found my clit, and the other hand wrapped in my hair, pulling me up so I had to watch us in the mirror unless I closed my eyes.
“Don’t you dare,” he murmured as my eyes fluttered shut. When I opened them again, he said, “Watch yourself come on my cock. See how fucking stunning you are when you break apart.”
True to his word, he held me there, thrusting in and out of me in a steady rhythm as he worked my clit until I was shattering around him, moaning my pleasure as my body tried to clamp down around his. He never let up though, just kept the same pace as he let me come down from my orgasm high. It didn’t last long though, as he started working me toward a second as soon as I did.
“Micah, I don’t know if I can come again yet,” I whispered. “Let me pleasure you.”
“I’ll come when you’ve turned to pudding in my arms,” he growled out. His hand released my hair, and my head flopped forward, which gave me a better angle to see his cock as it entered me over and over again.
I knew that tone and that there was no point trying to fight it. So I let him work me, let him press all my buttons, and enjoyed the feeling of his cock moving in and out of my pussy as he did so. Every time I thought it was getting too much for him, he’d just slow and focus on me, but he never stopped moving completely. Finally, just as I was about to give up and protest that a second orgasm just wasn’t going to happen, he slipped his thumb over my tight asshole and pressed it in slightly. It was just enough for me to feel it, just enough to set all my nerves alight, which he didn’t fail to notice either. He began circling my clit with renewed vigor, and his thrusts sped up and increased in intensity.
Suddenly, everything was timed just right, and the orgasm that had been building slowly turned into a rocket and felt like I exploded, practically lifting off the ground from the force of it. Somewhere in the haze, I felt Micah lose his control and thrust into me one last time, holding himself there with a punishing grip on my hips. The bite of pain made the spiral of pleasure I was lost in that much more intense.
When we both stilled, breathing hard, I knew that we were ready to go back to bed. I didn’t want to leave the bathroom and the little bubble of happiness that Micah had created, but I knew we would have to eventually, and I did want to cuddle with my other mates.
I just wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring yet. Would we have wolves at our door? And I meant that literally. I wasn’t sure if we had done enough to hide our scent if someone was determined, so I wanted to regroup and get going as soon as we could in the morning. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow would be the lucky day that we found our missing member.
19
Nina
When I woke the next morning, it was to find that everyone was ready to go except me. I hustled out of bed and got changed and ready for the day as quickly as I could, but I couldn’t understand why I’d slept deeply enough for me to not hear them moving around as they each got ready for the day. I mean, most of them had showered this morning as well. I could tell because of the scent of shampoo and body wash that was on the air.
And what a delicious scent it was. It almost made me want to invite them all back into bed, but the sore ache between my thighs told me that she still wasn’t ready for another round of group sex again. Just being with Micah again had renewed that soreness. So I kept my mouth shut and got ready as quickly as I could.
We left barely a half hour later and stopped to get the breakfast that was offered by the motel on the way out. After turning in our keys and almost actually getting one of the ancient, rock-hard bagels that was left out for what the motel claimed to be breakfast, we decided to stop at a fast-food place instead as we made our way back to the more dangerous side of town. At least it was dangerous for us, since it was the side that Roman and Micah’s old pack held territory on, and their territory pushed up against Jax’s.
Nowhere was particularly safe over there, but it was the closest to the forest where we’d spoken with Skuld, which made me think that the wolf we were looking for would have to be close by. If he was farther afield than we’d looked so far, I wasn’t sure we’d ever find him. The guys had agreed with me, so that was the direction we decided to move, back the way we came. This time, instead of looking on the north side, we were going to be on the south though, so hopefully, that would put us in the right area for finding my fifth mate.
“How long do we look?” I asked as I took a big bite of my breakfast sandwich, the salty, savory taste of the breakfast sausage combined with the egg and creamy cheese filling my mouth almost made it hard to listen to what the guys were saying.
“Look for what?” Blake asked.
“I think she’s in breakfast sandwich heaven right now. Not sure you’ll get an answer,” Tate replied for me.
“She’s talking about her fifth mate,” Roman said, somehow knowing what was on my mind better than I did. “Right
now, that’s not what I’m concerned with. Do not turn around.” Roman put all the alpha power he had into those words, so we all froze in our seats, our wolves obeying, even if our curiosity would have had us doing otherwise. “We have someone following us.”
We were all quiet, and my wolf and I were fighting the need to turn around and assess the threat. My unease grew along with the desire to see who was behind us. I polished off the last bite of my breakfast sandwich a moment later before I asked, “They don’t know we know they’re there, right?”
“I haven’t given them any reason to suspect we know, no,” Roman replied warily. His blue eyes flashed to mine in the rearview mirror, and I could practically see him shaking his head at the idea that was running through mine, even though I hadn’t voiced it aloud.
“Do you trust me, Roman?” I asked seriously.
His gaze flicked to mine in the rearview mirror again, but this time, it held for a second longer than I was comfortable with as he watched me for a moment before he said, “You know I do.”
“Okay, then just drive, and if you can, let them get close to us.” I saw him nod slightly but could feel his reluctance and nerves radiating down the mate bond. I turned to Blake, who was sitting on my right, and said, “Don’t go getting too excited now.” A moment later, I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed into his lap, kissing him like my life depended on it.
I flicked my eyes open and looked through the fluffy halo the long brown waves of his hair created while barely removing my mouth from his.
“Some warning next time, love, okay?” he said breathlessly.
I grinned at him, making eye contact for a brief second as I shrugged, answering him with a simple, “Maybe.”
“It’s the gray sedan four cars back,” Roman said, clearly picking up on what I was trying to do.
My gaze lifted from Blake’s and shifted from vehicle to vehicle as I counted backward. It was a four-lane road, two lanes going north and two going south, so there were plenty of cars around. I didn’t miss the gray sedan, even though it seemed designed to blend in and be as nondescript as possible. I’d been wondering why Roman didn’t give a make and model, and I realized it was because the emblem on the front was missing and the shape was so blah that it was hard to pinpoint it as anything.