by Fay Keenan
‘Thank you,’ Sophie whispered against the soft fabric of Alex’s white T-shirt. ‘I just felt I needed to be completely honest with you. I value honesty above nearly everything else, and when I couldn’t talk to Mark about what had happened, that’s when things started to fall apart. I don’t want that to happen with anyone else.’ She pulled away from him and looked him deep in the eyes. ‘Whatever happens, I promise I will never lie to you, Alex.’
Was it the last flickers of the dying sunset, or did Alex suddenly look unsettled? Perhaps she was being too intense for him by saying that, but after what she’d just told him, she wanted to make things completely clear. After all, they were still very much on the cusp; they hadn’t even kissed yet, although the traumas of the afternoon seemed to be creating an intensity between them. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked. ‘I haven’t shocked you?’
Alex gave a brief smile. ‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘And no, you haven’t shocked me at all.’ He raised a hand to her face and stroked her cheek. ‘I guess I was just lost for a moment. All this talk of children made me think about Mom.’
‘She sounds like an amazing woman, from what you’ve told me about her,’ Sophie said gently, relieved to be off the subject of her miscarriage. ‘You must really miss her.’
Alex nodded. ‘I do.’ The hand that was resting on the arm of the sofa balled into a fist for a moment. ‘I just get so angry sometimes that she was taken before she saw me realise this dream of the orchard. For years she wanted me to take the chance, to make the move from law to artisan cider; she even offered to loan me the money, but I refused. I always thought there’d be more time, that when she and my stepdad, Harry, got older they’d be able to retire out to the smallholding, and by then I’d have a family of my own to take care of them. The cancer took her too quickly, and too young. And I guess I’m still coming to terms with that.’ He ran a hand over his eyes before he would look at her again.
‘I’m sorry for your loss, too,’ Sophie said. ‘But I’m sure she would have been incredibly proud of what you’ve achieved so far, and how hard you’re working to realise the dream.’
‘I like to think she would be,’ Alex said quietly.
There was a pause as both of them sat, lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, Sophie spoke again. ‘You can tell me this is none of my business if you want, but you mention your stepdad a lot. Are you in touch with your biological dad?’ For a moment she’d almost said ‘real’, but she knew that Alex regarded Harry as his real father, the one who’d brought him up, and so she adjusted her words accordingly.
Alex shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. ‘No,’ he said eventually. ‘Mom didn’t tell me much about him when she was alive.’
‘Do you know if he’s still around?’
‘He died a while ago. Mom told me a little about him over the years, but I never really felt like I needed to find him. And now it’s too late, anyway.’ Alex reached forward and poured them both another glass from the bottle of cava on the coffee table in front of them.
‘Aren’t you tempted to try to find out if you have any other family?’
Alex paused a little too long. ‘Maybe one day,’ he said eventually, passing Sophie her glass. ‘But I’ve got a lot to do trying to learn as much as I can about this new business first.’
‘Fair enough, but remember what you said about leaving things too late. What if you’ve got more family out there who might want to get to know you?’
Alex shook his head. ‘I don’t think I’m ready to think about that just yet.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Sophie said. ‘I’m saying what’s in my head again without actually thinking. It’s your choice, and up to you when and if you do it.’
‘No need to apologise,’ Alex said, settling back on the sofa. Sophie hesitated for a moment, and then snuggled closer to him. If she’d looked up, she would have seen a mixture of emotions crossing Alex’s face, and would have been hard pushed to fathom any of them. They sat for a long time, cuddled up but lost in their own thoughts.
Some time later, when night had truly started to fall, Alex shifted on the sofa. ‘I guess I should get going.’
Sophie sat up. She felt drained by the conversation they’d shared, but also unburdened. The funny thing was, it had felt so natural to curl up with Alex on the sofa that she’d almost forgotten the sizzling chemistry they’d shared on the bench that afternoon. Events, it seemed, had overtaken them once more. They still hadn’t kissed, she realised with a jolt.
‘Thank you for coming over,’ she said as she shifted so Alex could get up. ‘I never imagined in a million years I’d end up talking about things so much tonight.’
‘Me neither,’ Alex said, smiling down at her. ‘Look, Sophie…’
‘Yes?’
‘I know it’s been a really hard day. But I kind of feel glad I was here to share it with you.’
Sophie smiled back. ‘I’m glad you were too. She glanced at the clock. ‘I’m going to go and see Gran in the morning. I think we need to get the cottage ready for when she comes home, too.’ She swallowed. ‘Will you help me?’
‘Of course.’
Sophie walked with Alex to the front door where they both paused, unsure, after the night’s disclosures, what happened next.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow, OK?’ Alex said. He slipped Barney’s lead onto the tired Weimaraner and then leaned forward and kissed Sophie’s cheek. ‘Try to get some sleep.’
Sophie felt the warm brush of his lips on her cheek and the back of her neck started to tingle. Despite everything, she had the sudden urge to kiss him more passionately, but she was afraid to spoil the moment. Alex’s reserve was a tricky thing to gauge.
‘I will. You too.’
As they parted, Sophie leaned back against the front door and let out a deep breath. Emotions crashed within her for attention, but, too exhausted to process any more of them, she decided to call it a night. There would be time to analyse everything in the morning.
17
Alex had left Sophie just after eleven o’clock, after the sun had set but the light was still the warm smoky grey of a Somerset summer. They’d talked about adapting Lily’s cottage so that she wouldn’t have to go upstairs for as long as needed, and Sophie had decided to put the plan to her when she went to see her the next day. Visiting hours were from ten until twelve, and she’d agreed to meet Alex back at Lily’s place afterwards so they could get the downstairs guest room converted into Lily’s temporary bedroom.
Fortunately, between the two of them, they managed to get the room looking more suited to Lily’s needs, and it didn’t take as long as Sophie had thought. As they straightened the duvet cover and removed the dresser that was a little too close to the door for comfort, Sophie looked at her watch. ‘We’ve done well,’ she said.
‘We have.’ Alex was slightly flushed from shifting some of the furniture around. ‘And since Lily’s not coming home for another couple of days, we’re ahead of the game.’
Sophie smiled. ‘Thank you for helping me. I bet this wasn’t what you had in mind when you became Gran’s lodger!’
‘I’m happy to help,’ Alex said. ‘But I must admit, I’d really like to get outside now.’ He paused, looking a little nervous. ‘Do you have any plans for this afternoon?’
Sophie shook her head. ‘Apart from walking Barney, I didn’t have anything in mind.’
‘How would you like to show me Cheddar Gorge?’ Alex asked. His mouth twisted into a mischievous smile. ‘I know we talked about going next weekend, but I’d really like to see it, since you told me so much about it!’
Sophie laughed. ‘OK, you’re on. And we can take Barney with us as it’s all dog friendly.’
Barney, who was sniffing around the newly arranged spare room, raised his head at his name.
‘Sounds good.’
‘I’ll drive if you like.’
‘If you’re OK with that.’
‘Sure. I’ll pop home and get the car. Meet you back here in twent
y?’
Alex smiled. ‘All right. That gives me twenty minutes to get on the web and find out a few more things about the place, since my local tour guide isn’t awfully well informed!’
Sophie grinned, but didn’t grace him with a response.
*
‘It’s not exactly the Rocky Mountains, I know, but it has a certain charm,’ Sophie said wryly as she and Alex walked up the main street that bisected Cheddar Gorge. Rising to the skyline on either side of them, the timeless, romantic landscape, inside which weaved countless deep, dark caves and caverns, made the Gorge cool, even on the warmest of days. Despite the influx of tourists, the sounds seemed muffled by the depth of the rock walls, and as they meandered up the Gorge to the entrance to Gough’s Cave it felt deceptively peaceful.
‘It’s lovely,’ Alex said, neck craning as he looked up towards the top of the crags on either side of them. ‘And I can’t think of a better day to see it.’ He glanced down at Sophie, and caught her eye before she could look away. ‘Do you mind if I, er…?’
‘What?’ Sophie asked, flustered that he’d caught her looking at him.
Alex coughed nervously. ‘May I hold your hand?’
Sophie laughed. ‘You really are something else, you know. Do they breed that politeness into you, or is it something in the water?’
Alex grinned. ‘You can’t blame a guy for wanting to ask.’
‘I would love to hold your hand.’ Sophie slipped her hand into Alex’s, where it fitted perfectly. It felt warm, safe and decidedly right, and as their palms connected she was sure she felt a frisson of electricity.
Moving a little closer to each other, they continued up the street, Sophie keeping up a tongue-in-cheek commentary about the different shops that seemed to do their best business in the summer, and trying not to dwell on how good Alex’s hand felt. Passing the Lion Rock Tea Rooms, Sophie wondered if she should suggest a late breakfast between their exploration of the Gorge and Jacob’s Ladder, but was unsure whether Barney would cope with all the food on the table without misbehaving. Weimaraners were notoriously naughty when food was involved. As they reached the entrance to Gough’s Cave at the top of the main street, where the Costa Coffee franchise surely occupied its most picturesque location, Sophie turned back to Alex. ‘We can go up and over the top, if you like, or go into the caves for a tour. Which do you fancy?’
‘How about both?’ Alex said. ‘We’ve got all afternoon. Which would you like to start with?’
‘Let’s go into the caves first,’ Sophie said. ‘It doesn’t take long and it gives us a chance to get out of the heat. Then, if you still fancy it, we can climb Jacob’s Ladder to the top of the Gorge.’
‘Sounds great.’
In very little time, they’d bought their tickets and were walking around the inside of the massive carboniferous limestone structures inside Cheddar Gorge. Despite living in the next village for nearly three decades, Sophie had only visited the caves once, and she was as spellbound as Alex seemed to be by the stalactites and stalagmites clinging to the floor and ceiling of the caves. The dark corners still unnerved her, but as they followed the path into what had been nicknamed King Solomon’s Temple, it took her breath away.
‘It’s like nothing else matters and time just stands still,’ Sophie murmured, staring up at the huge ceiling of the cavern. ‘Like we’re all just some small part of something so much bigger.’
‘It’s beautiful,’ Alex murmured into her ear. He turned her around so that she was in front of him and pointed. ‘See that there?’ He was pointing to the vast structure of undulating rock that lined the walls to the top of the cave, their stalactites frozen in time, dripping from rock to rock.
‘Yes,’ Sophie breathed. As if she was enchanted, by the moment, the place, she slowly turned back around so that she was facing him. ‘Any minute now they’re going to turn the lights off,’ she said softly. ‘And then you can see what true darkness is, this far beneath the surface.’
Alex gave her a smile. ‘We should be ready, then.’
‘We should.’
The attendant who looked after this section of the caves called out a warning, and the parents of the two small children who were still looking in awe up at the tiered magnificence of King Solomon’s Temple made sure they were holding their hands. Sophie drew a little closer to Alex.
In the space of two heartbeats, the lights went out, and as they did Sophie felt Alex’s lips, soft and warm, meeting her own. Her lips parted as she explored his mouth, a hand coming from her side to tangle in his silky dark hair. His mouth was warm and gentle, and Sophie felt such a sense of rightness in that kiss; it was as if she’d been waiting for him all her life. She pushed closer to him, feeling the contours of his body through the T-shirt and shorts he was wearing. A deep, rolling tingle started inside her as the warmth of the kiss began to spread, and she suddenly yearned for things to go further. As the lights came back on again, the change in shadows suddenly obvious through her eyes that had been closed, lost in the moment, and they broke free, she could see Alex’s eyes closed still. Long, dark eyelashes feathered his cheeks and she had the urge to just melt further into him. From the way he reluctantly pulled away from her, she was more than sure he felt the same.
‘I’m sorry,’ he breathed into her ear. ‘That wasn’t very polite, was it?’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Sophie whispered back. Her knees trembled, and she was stunned how much she wanted Alex to kiss her again. She hoped it would be the first of many. His breath in her ear was sending her off balance, and she was amazed how quickly her blood was rushing through her, igniting her from within.
‘Does that mean I can do it again?’ Alex’s lips were tickling her earlobe, his breath warm on the side of her neck.
‘It wouldn’t be very polite if you stopped now,’ Sophie said. ‘But perhaps we should find a quieter spot.’ She glanced to one side of her to see that, along with the parents and children, a very interested German tourist party, consisting of mainly teenage boys and their parents, was convening in the area, too.
‘I think you’re right,’ Alex murmured. ‘Shall we keep walking until we do?’
‘Plenty of quiet spots on top of the Gorge, too,’ Sophie said as Alex put his arm around her. She was suddenly struck with an extremely erotic vision of the two of them making love against the rocks of the Gorge, and hastily quashed it. Being kissed was one thing, but getting arrested for indecent exposure was quite another. Perhaps she ought to splash herself with some of that chilled cave water on the way past, just in case.
They exited the caves and headed towards Jacob’s Ladder, which consisted of two hundred and seventy four man made steps of near vertical incline up the Gorge wall itself. Even Barney was huffing and puffing by the time they got to the top. But the view was more than worth it. Hand in hand, Sophie and Alex wandered across the top flat of the Gorge, from where it was possible to look straight down at the tourists ascending the main road, across the Somerset Levels to Glastonbury Tor and westwards to the sea. The stinging green of the fields of the Levels seemed to stretch endlessly.
‘It’s so beautiful,’ Sophie breathed, blown away by the panoramic views. ‘I can’t believe I haven’t come up here more often.’ There was a warm breeze at the top of the Gorge, which whipped a strand of hair over her mouth, but before she could remove it herself, Alex reached out a hand and brushed it from her lips. Instinctively, she turned her head and kissed his palm, feeling a renewed surge of desire rush over her. Perhaps it was the emotional roller coaster of the past couple of days, of Lily’s accident and her own unburdening to him, but she suddenly felt as though she wanted to take risks with this man, to see where those risks would lead.
Alex’s hand started to tremble as Sophie’s lips caressed his palm, and, acting on instinct, he drew her closer until their bodies were touching and their lips were a heartbeat away.
‘Kiss me the way you did in the caves,’ Sophie murmured, her voice husky with desire.
‘With pleasure,’ Alex replied, closing the last gap between them.
This time, even though she knew it was coming, Sophie’s knees nearly buckled. With the breeze in their hair, and the sun on their backs, and a for once chilled Barney, who’d collapsed at their feet, they deepened the kiss. Sophie’s fingers traced the nape of Alex’s neck, pulling her towards him until there was barely any space between them, respectable or otherwise. She felt her insides turning to liquid as he kissed her on and on, his desire evident from the strength of his embrace and the hardness of his body.
Eventually, when Barney decided he’d really had enough of playing gooseberry, he parted them in the only way he knew how, which was to shove a big, wet nose in between them and muscle in on the embrace.
Sophie giggled as the Weimaraner started to nibble her wrist playfully, but she took the hint and broke away from Alex. ‘Barney, you’re such a tart!’
Alex laughed. ‘I think he’s trying to tell us he’s bored.’ He reached down and patted Barney on the flank.
‘Shall we make sure he’s completely knackered, then?’ Sophie said. Casting a quick eye around to ensure there were no livestock, or small children who might be intimidated by a dog of Barney’s size, she unhitched the dog’s lead. Barney took off, jumping over rocks and circling round the flat, keeping an eye on them closely to make sure they didn’t abandon him.
After walking for half an hour or so, they decided it was definitely time for a coffee, and, collecting Barney once more, they headed back down the ladder to caffeine and a brief rest. This afternoon was shaping up to be memorable in so many ways, Sophie thought, lips still tingling from Alex’s kiss. She wondered what the night would hold.
*
The afternoon, punctuated by a stop at the Cheddar Gorge Cheese Company to buy some of the village’s signature product, and, as they passed it, the hut at the side of the Axbridge to Cheddar road to buy what Sophie would argue to the death were the best strawberries in England, extended into evening. Once Sophie had left the car at her place, she and Alex went to The Stationmaster pub, where they spent more time talking and getting to know each other. After the upheavals of the past couple of days, it was as if both of them wanted to cram as much into their time as possible.