It was a lovely tranquil scene, with the sun bright in an aquamarine sky. In the distance birds called to one another from the trees, and sheep baaed in the bracken. The hills were awash with bright pink heather, and her own garden was abundant with geraniums, fuchsia and nasturtiums.
It’s no coincidence that people living a Mediterranean diet live longer, Cat wrote. As a healthy way of life, it’s been long proven, and with the recipes in this book, I can help you recreate some of that healthy living in your daily routine.
She looked up and sighed, she had been stuck on the same line for the last half an hour. She just couldn’t concentrate on what she was doing today.
If Mel hadn’t done well, she’d be disappointed and after all that hard work, it seemed unfair. She’d been so stressed over the exam period, juggling her revision with Lou Lou, her blog and her writing, it would be really devastating if she didn’t succeed. Cat knew how much these exams meant to her daughter; she deserved to do well.
The phone rang, and Cat nearly jumped out of her skin.
At first she couldn’t hear anything, just the sound of incoherent sobs. Oh god, it had gone badly. Cat frantically started to go into organising mode.
‘Mel,’ she said, ‘sweetheart, it doesn’t matter, if you didn’t get the grades. We can sort something out. You can resit them next year.’
‘Mum, I did it,’ said Mel. ‘I got 4 As.’
And then Cat too, burst into tears.
My Broken Brain
Day 140 or something. I’m beyond caring. 5am
Turns out Pippa isn’t planning to move in with Richard. I’m glad for the kids’ sake, particularly Lucy’s. She seems so much happier. Which is great news. Like getting my old daughter back.
Lucy asked me the other day if that meant I was going to move back in. The twenty million dollar question. She really thinks it’s still possible. But she’s only a child, she can’t see how things really are.
How can I go back now?
We’re divorced. Pippa’s carving a life as a single woman. And now her focus is saving the farm. And she’s doing a great job of it.
I’ve spent nearly three years pushing Pippa away. And it’s the one thing I’ve succeeded in doing well.
I’d say Pippa doesn’t need me anymore.
Nice one, Holliday.
I just wish I could make Lucy see, that however we both feel, it’s for the best.
One day, it might stop hurting so much.
September
Chapter Twenty-Five
A warm September sun shone out of an azure blue sky. In the woods the magpies were keeping up a consistent chatter. While the swallows swooped through the sky in huge clusters, getting ready no doubt for their trip down south. Pippa wished they could find some evidence of the merlins, but it seemed if they had been there, they were long gone now. Not only that but Jack had reported bits of nest having been destroyed along with some fragments of egg shells. It seemed like their enemies might have chased the birds away.
‘So if you can move along, and yes, there’s room for more tents up here, and we’re stringing some hammocks in the trees, for those who like that kind of thing …’ Miss Woods was imperiously giving orders as the expansion of the Hope Christmas camp began in earnest. Miss Woods, it turned out seemed to have a myriad of connections with the anarchic underworld, and all sorts of professional protestors had turned up to lend a hand.
Pippa stood watching in awe as so many strangers arrived to give up their time and efforts for her protest. There were banners and posters, and tents, and people making tea and coffee. A warm camaraderie had sprung up between the locals and the incomers, and lots of friendly banter. It was really rather wonderful. She was glad she’d managed to persuade both the local newspaper, and the TV to come down. It should make the evening bulletin.
‘From little acorns, great trees grow,’ said Ralph who’d appeared as if by magic, with Charlie. ‘Any sign of your merlins yet?’
‘Sadly no,’ said Pippa, ‘we think someone might have chased them away.’
‘You never know,’ said Ralph, ‘they might not have gone far.’
‘Maybe,’ said Pippa. ‘There is so much other wildlife as well though. We need to persuade LK Holdings that what’s here needs protecting, and that they’re developing in the wrong place.’
‘Agreed,’ said Ralph, ‘and I’m sure you’re just the person to do it.’
It was nice that someone could be certain of the outcome.
‘Miss Woods is doing a great job,’ said Pippa, looking over at the makeshift camp, ‘if it was down to her efforts alone, I wouldn’t be at all worried.’
‘The more noise we make …’ said Ralph.
Pippa smiled. She did feel a bit more hopeful. Ralph had a knack of making everything seem better.
They had had such a huge outpouring of support, including her Twitter campaign, which was taking on a life of its own, with #savethewoods trending. Although there’d also been the inevitable trolling from disaffected parties – Pippa had traced the particularly vehement Die you bitch comments to one of Keeley’s cronies, who’d been warned off coming anywhere near the woods and threatened with the police – in the main, people had been on their side. Maybe the council would listen to public opinion. After all, they’d succeeded in saving Vera’s post office, and Lucy’s respite care home. Anything was possible if you put your mind to it. They could do this.
Just then a familiar face came up to her, looking rather sheepish, and holding a placard.
‘Richard?’ Pippa was gobsmacked. She hadn’t heard from him in several weeks. What on earth was he doing here?
‘Look, I know you don’t want to be with me, anymore,’ he said in a rush, ‘and that’s fine. But I’ve been thinking about everything you’ve been doing, and I may have been wrong about your woods. If nothing else, I underestimated you. So I’d really like to help. What would you like me to do?’
Cat was on the phone. Angela was haranguing her about Kay’s latest misdemeanours. The honeymoon period was clearly over.
‘She doesn’t allow me any freedom!’ complained Angela. ‘She treats me like a child.’
‘Would you like to come to us for the weekend?’ suggested Cat. ‘Give you both a break from each other.’
Her heart sank at the thought. It was coming up to the end of the holidays, and she’d earmarked the weekend for Ruby’s new school uniform, and other back to school kind of activities. Plus, she’d promised to look in on Pippa’s camp at some point. Oh well, Angela would just have to go with the flow.
‘Could I?’ said Angela. ‘That would be wonderful. Noel can come and pick me up on Saturday morning.’
Saturday morning was always manic in their house and all the activities were starting again. Ruby had ballet, James football, and Paige piano.
‘How about Lou Lou, Ruby and I come down on Friday and get you,’ said Cat tactfully. ‘That might be easier.’
‘Well, if you’re sure,’ said Angela.
‘Of course I am,’ Cat lied, ‘but is it really as bad as all that?’
‘Worse,’ said Angela. ‘She doles out my own money to me. Can you believe it? As if I were a child. I feel in prison. You have to come and rescue me.’
Cat had questioned the wisdom of letting Kay have access to her mother’s bank account – apparently it was ‘easier’ if she had Angela’s cash card, as now she was more immobile she couldn’t get out as much – but had been shouted down. Seemed that she’d been right.
Resolving to get Noel to have a word with his sister, who like her mother, could be a control freak, Cat put the phone down. Honestly, it would have been easier to have had Angela living with them, with all the upheaval that entailed, than being on the end of the phone listening to the latest dramas. She needed to drive down to Bedford on Friday like a hole in the head.
‘Look, Nana, look. I done painting,’ Lou Lou came up to her smiling. She was covered from head to toe in paint. And somehow, during th
e course of the conversation, so was the kitchen table.
Cat sighed as she went to clear up. It didn’t seem five minutes ago that she was clearing up after Ruby when she’d done similar. Sometimes, she felt she was living in groundhog day.
Marianne had asked Jean to come and babysit, and she and Steven were headed for the woods to join the protest. Steven was going back to school the following week, and Marianne had been enjoying a few days with him exclusively. Her stepson had a lot of his father in him, and was good company. He had also been really helpful when Eve had finally moved out into the flat above Vera’s café, and Marianne had enjoyed packing up Eve’s stuff with him, and helping her get settled in. Since Eve had left, they had a bit more time with each other, and Marianne was relishing it guiltily. She still couldn’t believe the little boy she’d known when she first came to Hope Christmas was growing up into such a handsome young teenager. And a fine one at that. Kind, considerate, and immensely good fun to be around.
‘So tell me,’ she said, taking advantage of this opportunity to have a chat with her stepson for the first time in a while, ‘how are things with your mum? Have you managed to sort out what was bothering her on holiday?’
Steven shook his head.
‘Not exactly,’ he said, looking sad. ‘I want to help her, but she doesn’t always want my help. She thinks I’m a kid still and I’m not.’
‘She probably doesn’t want to worry you,’ said Marianne. ‘And maybe she feels guilty.’
‘Oh I know she feels guilty,’ said Steven, ‘she’s always apologising for how crap she was when I was little. But it’s ok, I get it. It’s her illness. She can’t help it.’
‘That’s very mature of you, Steven,’ said Marianne. ‘I think she’s lucky you feel that way.’
‘Well I do,’ said Steven, ‘and I’ve been thinking – well this is what we were rowing about actually …’
He looked awkward and unsure of his ground, so Marianne prompted him, ‘And?’
‘I know Dad will go mad,’ he said, ‘but I worry about Mum all on her own. She’s much worse when she’s lonely. She was better all the time she was with Darren. I think I want to go and live with her for a bit, keep her company.’
‘Oh,’ said Marianne, quite taken aback. She knew Gabriel would be furious.
‘But Mum said no, on account of Dad, and I know Dad will never agree, so …’
‘If that’s what you really want, I’ll talk to him about it,’ said Marianne, as they approached the campsite. ‘You never know, maybe he’ll be up for it. We’ll talk about it later, I promise.’
Steven looked doubtful, but they couldn’t discuss it further, because as soon as they arrived, Miss Woods whisked Steven off to help put up tents, and sort out banners, while Marianne went to find Pippa, who was mid TV interview.
‘How’s it going?’ asked Marianne, as Pippa finished.
‘Good, I think,’ said Pippa. ‘It’s hard to tell though. While we have a lot of support, there are still plenty of people who are against us.’
Marianne smiled. ‘Have faith. Pippa the Campaign Queen never fails.’
‘We’ll see,’ said Pippa. ‘Can you do me a favour and help me hand out tea and biscuits to all these amazing people who’ve turned up. Honestly, I’m overwhelmed.’
‘I see someone has come out of the woodwork to help,’ said Marianne, with a sly look, pointing Richard’s way. She and Cat had hoped after all Pippa’s problems, she might get a happy ending, but it clearly wasn’t to be.
Pippa blushed. ‘Well I wasn’t expecting him.’
‘And?’ asked Marianne archly.
‘And, nothing,’ confessed Pippa. ‘I’m quite enjoying being on my own at the moment. I don’t think I need the complication of Richard again. I’m not sure it’s worth all the hassle. I’d rather keep the farm alone, than give it up, settle with Richard, and then regret it.’
Marianne smiled. ‘Yeah, I get that,’ she said. ‘I just want you to be happy.’
‘And I am, or as happy as I’m going to be,’ said Pippa, ‘so don’t worry about me. I’m fine.’
At the end of a long, positive and enjoyable day, Marianne and Steven walked home, leaving the campers to settle down in their hammocks and tents. As they left, someone was sorting out a barbecue, and the sound of guitars had started, Marianne reflected on what Pippa had said. Happiness didn’t always come from being with a partner. She thought about what Steven had discussed with her earlier. It sounded as though Eve was really lonely. Now she wasn’t actually living under their roof, Marianne found it easier to feel sorry for her. Eve had had a hard life, and in the last couple of years, things had gone badly wrong for her. So to her surprise, Marianne found herself saying, ‘You know what you mentioned earlier, about your mum. I think you might be right, perhaps living with her is something you should think about.’
Chapter Twenty-Six
‘Here we are,’ said Cat as she opened the front door and let Angela in.
She’d been shocked by the state of her mother-in-law, when she arrived at Kay’s. Angela looked thin and tired, and smaller than when Cat had last seen her, as if she’d diminished somehow. She’d leant on Cat’s arm coming to and from the car – Angela had never leant on anyone in her entire life – and to Cat’s dismay, had seemed a little bewildered at first, as if forgetting for a moment why Cat was there. Cat felt a sinking in her stomach. Please, no. Don’t let Angela go the same way as Mum, that seemed so unfair. Angela might not be her own mum, but she’d been a damned good stand in since Cat’s mother, Louise, had first become ill.
Before they left, Kay had bossily told Cat what Angela needed, and Angela what Angela needed, until Cat wanted to scream. Kay had taken to talking to her mum as if she were a slow and very stupid child, and it infuriated Cat. It was just as well Noel hadn’t been with her, he’d have been furious, and there’d have only been another argument.
But it was worrying. Where had her lively – if sometimes demanding and difficult – mother-in-law gone? Angela just seemed to take it meekly, though there had been a flash of fire, when Kay had tried to put her coat on for her. ‘I’m not a complete imbecile you know,’ she’d snapped, causing Kay to sigh a martyred sigh, and whisper to Cat, ‘Good luck with her. You’ve no idea what it’s been like. Had I known …’
Cat, who had a very good idea what it could be like, had bit back the retort that it was all Kay’s idea to have Angela with her, but instead smiled sweetly, and said, ‘I’m sure we’ll cope,’ and steered her mother-in-law out of the house. The atmosphere had felt unwelcoming, stuffy and downright hostile. No wonder Angela couldn’t wait to get out.
‘Come on, Angela,’ she’d said cheerfully. ‘We’ll get you home, and tomorrow we can go on a lovely long walk in the hills.’
One thing Angela always loved about coming to Hope Christmas was walking in the hills.
‘Oh no!’ said Kay in horror. ‘You can’t be serious. Mum isn’t fit enough for that. She needs rest and silence. She won’t be up for it.’
‘Oh,’ said Cat, her mother-in-law wasn’t that old, and had been perfectly capable of walking five miles last time she came to stay. ‘I’m sure we’ll manage.’
It wasn’t her place to have a family row – Noel managed them quite well without her help – so she was delighted when they got back home and settled Angela in.
Angela seemed happy enough, too, enjoying playing with Lou Lou, and drinking a cup of tea. Her earlier vagueness seemed to have disappeared, and Cat breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps it would be ok after all.
‘What’s all this about Steven going to live with Eve?’ Gabriel came in from the fields with Steven, looking like thunder. Oh dear. Steven had obviously taken it upon himself to tell his dad their idea. Marianne had been waiting for the right moment. This evidently wasn’t it. ‘What on earth were you thinking? What if she’s ill again? Steven’s only fourteen for god’s sake. It’s not on.’
‘But it would be different if I was livin
g with Mum,’ protested Steven, ‘then she might not get ill.’
‘And you think I didn’t spend several years thinking that?’ Gabriel said angrily. ‘It’s not going to happen, Steven. You being there won’t make your mum better. When you’re old enough, you’ll understand.’
‘I am not a kid anymore! Why don’t you ever listen?’ shouted Steven, and ran up the stairs in fury, slamming his bedroom door shut.
‘Why didn’t you discuss this with me, first?’ Gabriel demanded, he was still very angry, and Marianne couldn’t blame him. This wasn’t the way she’d anticipated him finding out.
‘It came up in conversation yesterday,’ said Marianne. ‘I wasn’t trying to cause a problem. It was Steven’s idea, and I think he might have a point. It seems to me Eve is very lonely and maybe Steven living there would help her.’
‘You’ve changed your tune,’ said Gabriel, ‘I thought you couldn’t wait to get shot of her. Now it transpires, it’s my son you can’t want to get shot of.’
‘That’s not fair,’ said Marianne. ‘I love having Steven here, of course I do. I want what’s best for him. Look, I’m sorry, it was just an idea. I wish I hadn’t brought it up.’
‘After everything that’s happened, and all that we went through to keep Steven with us last time,’ said Gabriel. ‘You know what Eve’s like. This will be a fad. I can’t believe you’d even think I’d let that happen.’
‘But it’s different now,’ argued Marianne. ‘This isn’t Eve’s idea, it’s Steven’s He’s old enough to know his own mind – and we’ve got the twins.’
‘So that’s ok, then,’ said Gabriel, ‘we can lose Steven, because he’s not ours, but we’ve still got the twins.’
‘That’s not what I meant,’ said Marianne, ‘you’re being difficult.’
‘I’m not the one suggesting breaking our family up,’ said Gabriel belligerently.
‘And neither am I,’ said Marianne, ‘I just feel sorry for Eve—’
‘So do I,’ said Gabriel. ‘And I’m happy she still sees Steven, but his home is here, and always will be.’
Coming Home For Christmas Page 21