“The guilt you’re feeling now will be worth it, babe. I promise,” Alyssa throws me a sympathetic smile, and then reaches over, rubbing her hand on my shoulder. She’s right. It’s definitely gonna be worth it, or at least, I hope it is.
She shows me around the rest of the place, and then we make our way down to the lobby to put a reservation in place, “And it’s okay for me to stop by earlier than the official checking in time?” I ask the clerk, and see Alyssa roll her eyes at me. Yeah, I know. She’s told me three times already that it’s okay for me to do this.
We head through the exit door, and I’m starting to feel a whole lot better now that things are finally beginning to slot into place. This time next week, me and Alexis are gonna be walking through those very doors together.
“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” I ask Alyssa as we take the few steps down to the sidewalk.
“I have an emergency nail appointment over in Escapade Drive,” she answers me, a look of disgust crossing over her features when she looks down to her hands.
“An emergency nail appointment?” I laugh out, and she digs me in the ribs. “Really, though? You class your nails as an emergency?” She shrugs her shoulders, and as I turn to face her, I hear my cell phone ringing out from my pocket. Honestly? I was gonna ignore it, but now that Alyssa’s cell is also sounding, I reach inside and take it out.
A: I love you. X
I rake my hand through my hair, and swallow, hard. If I didn’t feel bad before then I sure do now. She’s sitting back at the dorm, most likely on her own, sending messages to tell me that she loves me, while I’m here, hiding shit from her. Alyssa is eyeing me warily, and I shake my head as I hold it up to her so she can read it for herself. She grins as she pulls out her cell phone, but her smile fades when she checks the screen.
“What? What is it?” I ask, but she places her index finger over her mouth to shush me before she takes the call.
“Alex! How’s … how’s it going?” Oh, shit. “Um, I’m having dinner with Jen and Kelly, remember?”
She’s not on the phone for very long, actually, I didn’t hear her say anything else apart from the fact that she was out to dinner, “What did she say?” I ask when she checks the screen again, and her lips are beginning to purse into a frown. “Alyssa?”
She shakes her head, and waves her hand in the air, “It’s nothing, I think my signal must’ve died or something.” She places her cell back inside her purse, and I see excitement flitting back into her eyes. “This time next week!” She pulls me to her, throwing her arms around my neck.
“I owe you one, Alyssa,” I tell her, and place a kiss on her cheek before taking a step away.
“No, you don’t. Just make sure she has an awesome time, or I’ll kick you in the balls, you hear me?” I laugh when she points her index finger right at me, and laugh even harder when a look of distaste passes into her eyes, her lips turning south as she studies her hands. “Ugh! My nails are hideous!”
Once we’ve said our goodbyes, I head straight back toward campus. Now that things are going to plan, and I know that keeping secrets from Alexis is gonna be fully worth all of this in the long run, I’m starting to feel a whole lot happier about everything.
I break into a jog as I near the campus gates because I wanna make sure I’m home before she falls asleep tonight. The past few nights when I’ve arrived back at the dorm, she’s already been asleep. Do I miss spending time with her? Let’s put it this way, if I’m away from her for even a half hour, I go nuts.
There’s nobody in the living area when I push open the main door, and when I glance over to Alexis’ bedroom door, I see it’s fully closed. Shit. I’m too late.
I make my way over and grab the door handle, gently easing it down so I don’t wake her. Huh, that’s funny. It’s locked, “Alexis, are you sleeping?” Nothing. I lean in closer. I don’t wanna disturb her, but at the same time, I don’t really wanna be having to sleep on the couch. The door only locks from the inside, and so if she isn’t awake then I haven’t got a hope in hell of getting through to the other side. “Beautiful?”
Taking my cell from out of my pocket, I go to dial her number. Is it so bad that I wanna hold her in my arms tonight? No, I didn’t think so either. Seven missed calls from Rye? How did I miss these? I clear the screen and tap in Alexis’ number. If Rye’s calls were so urgent then he would’ve left a voicemail. I can hear her ringtone sounding out through the door, so I know she’s inside. Her cell phone goes everywhere she goes, “Alexis?”
I stand and stare at the screen for a couple of seconds. Yeah, it just went through to the voicemail. Come on, Alexis. I lift my head when I hear the door opening up, and I instantly panic when I see her. Her cheeks are tear streaked, her eyes red and puffy; sore even, “What the hell happened?” I take a step forward and lift my hand to cup her face. Why won’t she look at me? What in the hell? Why is she stepping away from me? “Alexis, shit! What the fuck …?”
“There you are bro! Dammit, what the fuck did you do to her?” I step back and see Rye charging straight over from his room, and I’ve gotta say, he doesn’t look so fucking happy either. What did I miss? “She lost it man! I tried to call you to see why she was going all crazy shit on me!” She was going what? I turn my attention back on Alexis.
“I didn’t do—”
“He broke my heart, Ryan,” I did what? But I wasn’t even here. Why is she shrugging her shoulders and looking at me like she wants to castrate me? Oh, no. No. No. No. There’s no way in hell she’s gonna be removing any of my body parts, especially not Pinocchio and his friends. “Just like you and Neil said he would. Well, congratufuckinglations, Brandon. I applaud you.” I don’t understand.
“I did what? I don’t get—”
“Evening, guys! Oh my God! What happened? Alex, are you okay?” I glance over my shoulder when I hear Alyssa. She’s heading straight over and doesn’t seem to have a clue about anything that’s going on either.
Before I have a chance to turn back around, Alexis dives forward and starts grabbing handfuls of Alyssa’s hair, “Fuck!” Has she completely lost her mind? I grab Alexis by the waist, trying to pull her away, but she’s not making this easy for me. “Let her go!” I snap, and grab a hold of her arms, gripping her tighter this time. With a little more force, she finally let’s go of her. I glance between the two of them, and see Alyssa holding her head. Yeah, I would, too. That must’ve fucking hurt some. Alexis’ fingers were turning white from the strength of the grip she had on her. While I have a hold of Alexis, Rye goes to stand beside Alyssa.
“Why did you attack me?” Yeah, I’d like to know the same fucking thing. And, while we’re at it, I’d also like to know what the hell I did wrong for her to accuse me of breaking her heart.
“You first! How was the hotel, Alyssa?” Alexis hisses. The hotel? She knows about that? “Did she exceed all of your expectations?” No. She doesn’t honestly believe that … huh. I release her arms and take a step back. She followed us? She thinks that me and Alyssa …? Wow. Well, she’s most definitely just proved how much she thinks of me. She thinks I was fucking her best friend in a hotel room. Wow. Yeah, this kinda hurts.
“Guys, what’s she talking about?” Rye glances between the three of us, and I think the look over both mine and Alyssa’s faces must be pretty identical. Mainly from disbelief.
“Your things are in her room now,” she says, her tone flat. She walks away, but I’m frozen to the spot and I see her turn back around, her glare focused solely on me. “I fucking love you. I would do anything for you, ANYTHING!” She’s screaming now, and I see Alyssa shaking her head as she follows her toward the hallway.
“Alex, we didn’t do anything!” Alyssa’s upset. Oh, I know the feeling. “It was for you! It was all for you!”
How could she think that I’d do that to her? I thought I’d proven how much I wanted to be with her and how much she means to me. But, I guess I was wrong. Man, how could I have been so
wrong? Should I put her out of her misery? Spoil the surprise that I’ve tried so hard to keep under wraps so she’d have the best fucking birthday imaginable? Yeah, I need to. She has no idea what she’s just done. She’s shaking her head at me, and I can see the hatred in her eyes. Wow. Just. Wow.
“Alyssa spoke with her father and he agreed I could book a room for an affordable price. I haven’t got thousands to spend on a room, Alexis. I haven’t worked because of obvious reasons. I wanted to make your birthday special. I wanted to make your first time, our first time special.”
Her face falls, but the damage has already been done. She knows what I’ve been through and how hard it was for me to move on. To move on with her. I told her everything. How could she doubt me? How? No, I don’t know how either.
She walks slowly back over, and in her eyes I can see she has a million questions running through her mind. Yeah, well, likewise, “But you lied. You lied about being in class today. You lied about where you were going tonight! You haven’t been coming home until the early hours, and you called me ALEX!” And there it is.
You’re so wrong, beautiful. I keep my eyes on hers, but I really shouldn’t. I wanna beg her to trust me. I wanna shake her until she listens. But, there’s no point. What’s a relationship without trust? I’ve never treated her any different to the way I did Holly. In fact, I put Alexis ahead of everything. Holly? I put my music first, and I’ve been regretting my actions for every day she’s been gone. Yeah, it’s time to go, “Alyssa, can I grab my things, please? I think it’s time I moved back over to my dorm.”
Alexis rests herself against the doorframe, but she doesn’t say anything. Not a word. Rye takes a seat on the arm of the couch, while I follow Alyssa into her room to grab my things. Shit. Look at that. All of my clothes, everything. All thrown over Alyssa’s bed, and a few things are on the floor. She was most definitely a woman on a mission, huh?
“Do you need me to help, Brandon?” Alyssa asks, looking and sounding just as upset as I am. “Maybe we should have told her what we were doing before it got this far.” She stares at the ground, her arms crossed over her chest. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day when Alyssa would look close to tears. But, here it is.
“No, I can manage,” I throw all my things inside my empty case, and risk a glance over at her. “If she doesn’t trust me now then she’s never gonna. I tried. I failed. That’s all there is to it.” I add, and fasten the case before throwing it over my shoulder and heading back out the room.
When I make it over to the main door, I hear Alexis sobbing behind me. They’re muffled, and when I turn around, I see her looking right at me. I shake my head, close my eyes, summon a deep breath, and walk right out the door.
***
This is ridiculous.
I launch my case across the room, and throw myself back on my bed. It’s cold. It’s dark. And it’s not her bed. When I first got back to my dorm, I paced the entire room at least fifty times. I never thought when I woke up this morning that it would be the last time I’d be waking up with her beside me. I thought she was gonna be there every morning. Hell, I thought she was gonna be there every night.
She honestly believed that I was screwing around with her best friend? No disrespect to Alyssa, but she’s not my type at all. But, even if she was, I still wouldn’t have done what Alexis has accused the both of us of. I love her. Just her. Nobody else.
I need to get outta here. Go for a walk or something.
It’s midnight already, and there’s not a single person around the place. I take a seat on one of the benches outside my building, one of the ones opposite to hers. Her light’s already off. Do you think she’s sleeping? Yeah, probably not.
She doubted my feelings for her. All I wanted was a second chance at being happy again. I should’ve pushed her away. I shouldn’t have let her get close. I should never have opened up or allowed her in. The one and only reason why I moved here was to find some answers, but I ended up falling for someone. I ended up falling for her.
My cell phone vibrates, and I see Alyssa’s name flashing on the screen, “Alyssa.” We speak for a couple of minutes, or at least, she does, before we end the call.
You know what? I always thought she was a bit of an airhead, but, she’s just made a very valid point. We lied to Alexis, she found out, why would she trust a damn thing we told her after that? Not only that, though. What’s the number one thing I didn’t give her? The one thing she needed as some kinda reassurance? The thing I couldn’t give her at the time, and the only thing I can do now if I want her to know just how much I’m in love with her? Yep, you’ve guessed right. It’s time. No more waiting. I’ve gotta do this. No more hiding. It’s time to prove to her just how much she really means to me.
I knock the door several times, and it’s Alyssa who opens it up wide. There’s a reassuring smile etching over her lips as I step inside the doorway, “Where is she?” I ask, my left leg jiggling some. “Have you spoken to her?
She shakes her head, “No, she went straight to her room and cried herself to sleep, at least, I think she’s asleep. I’m not sure. I can’t hear her anymore, anyway.”
“Could you maybe go and get her for me?” I bring my eyes to meet with hers, and she rubs her hand over my shoulder briefly, nodding her head a couple of times before turning to walk away.
“Alexis!” Alyssa bangs on her bedroom door while calling out her name. “Alexis, please open the door!”
I see the door slowly open, and Alexis taking a small, hesitant step forward. “What is …?” She sees me, and I realize this is it. It’s now or never. Is she worth this? You bet your ass she is.
“Can we talk, please?” Deep breaths, man, Deep breaths. Just say it. You can do this. She’s worth this. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I called you Alex, although that is your name … I didn’t realize it would upset you.” I take a step forward and close the door behind me, never once allowing my eyes to leave hers. “I’m sorry you thought I would do that to you. I’m sorry that I’ve been out most nights. I’m sorry—”
“He’s sorry,” Alyssa nudges her arm with her elbow, and shoots me an encouraging smile. And there I was, all this time, thinking that she was the most selfish person I’ve ever met in my entire life. She’s misunderstood, that’s all.
“Where did you go so late each night?” Her voice is tight, but at least she’s willing to hear me out. Earlier I thought she was the one to blame in all of this, but, now I know that it’s mainly my fault. If I kiss her, she’ll know how deeply I feel about her. I lied. If she’d lied, and I found out, well, I think I may have reacted a hell of a lot worse than she did. If you think about it, her actions were pretty tame in comparison.
“Back at my dorm,” I roll back on my heel, and feel my shoulders tense. “You see, I couldn’t spend time with you, knowing I was lying to you, but, the reason I lied was because it was supposed to be a surprise.” I let out a deep breath, and run my hands through my hair. It’s her turn now.
“The hotel?” She glances between the two of us again, and Alyssa shakes her head as I take another step closer to them. I see Alyssa say something to Alexis, and then she heads to her room, leaving the both of us alone.
“Something else, other than the hotel. I was writing you a song. I was going to, next week at the show, I was going to sing it to you for your birthday before taking you to the hotel.” Have you ever seen or heard anybody look or sound this nervous before? Well, neither have I.
“But you said you don’t sing anymore.”
Everything I had planned, all of the surprises I had for her are out in the open now. I may as well just tell her. I rest my hands on my waist, and let out a deep sigh, tilting my head toward the ceiling, “There were a lot of things I didn’t do until I met you.” Don’t give up on us now. “You’re my light, Alexis. I can’t be without you. I want you, and only you, forever. I need your permission, beautiful.” Wow, even my voice is showing how desperate I am for
this not to be over.
“My permission?” I lower my head, and see a look of confusion wash over her face.
“I’m dying over here,” I tell her, my voice shaking as my knees threaten to buckle beneath me. “I need to kiss you. Right here. Right now.”
Her eyes widen, and I see they’re searching mine from afar, “Yes! Dammit, kiss me already!” Thank fuck.
I start walking over to her, and see her take a couple of steps away while reaching for her bedroom door. Once we’re inside, I close the door behind us, and then slowly turn around to face her.
This is it. Finally. I thread my fingers through her hair, and tilt her head back until I can see directly into her eyes, “I love you, beautiful,” I say quietly, leaning in closer. I hear her breath catch when my lips gently skim over hers. “Forever, Alexis.” I whisper against her mouth, while skimming my fingers over her neck. That pounding sound? Yep. Not my dick this time. Nope. That’ll be my heart rate going into overdrive.
I keep my gaze firmly fixed on hers, “Forever.” She whispers that one word, closes her eyes, and I feel her hands rest on my waist. My gaze falls to her lips, and I run my tongue along my lips before gently pressing mine on hers.
She opens her mouth, and I slide my tongue inside. Doing this, with her, it feels like I can finally breathe again. It’s almost as though I haven’t had air in my lungs for the past eighteen months. Damn, she tastes good. I place one of my hands behind her head, and grip onto her waist with the other. She brings her hands around until they’re resting on my chest, and I plunge my tongue deeper inside her mouth, drinking in everything she’s willing to give me, and smile when she moans into my mouth.
She pushes me backward until her whole body is practically pinning me against her bedroom door, and I feel her fingers running through my hair. I tighten my grip on her waist, and pull her closer to me. Her breasts are firmly pressing against my chest, my dick is resting against her stomach.
Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged) Page 18