Zach managed to slip a note I’d written for her inside her jacket pocket when he followed Alexis and the rest of the guys into a bar the other night. He said something had stopped him from being able to speak with her, but he didn’t go into any details about what exactly got in his way. Actually, now that I mention it, he was pretty quiet when he arrived back to the cabin and though I tried asking him what was going on, he wouldn’t tell me.
I get it. I do. I’ve been giving him a hard time over all of this. He’s helping me after all, but I didn’t expect things to work out the way they have, and I guess I haven’t been handling this whole thing too well.
We both agreed that asking for her to meet me on Saturday night at midnight would be a better idea, because that way it would be more unlikely for the cops to still be hanging around. But, these past two days have been hard enough, waiting another couple of days wouldn’t be possible for me. It would be pure torture. I need to see her, and I need to speak with her today before this whole thing gets even more outta control.
I immediately stand when I hear a door closing on the other side, and go to stand behind hers. I don’t hear any voices, but if it’s Alexis then it’ll only be a matter of time before she steps in here. Am I afraid that she’s gonna kick me out? Yep. But, I’m not leaving until she knows everything.
I know what you’re thinking, and both Rach and Zach said the same thing; I’m breaking the rules. But, you see, I’m not. I stuck to my side of the deal. I left everything behind they asked me to leave. I left the one and only person in this world that I love the most because I had no other option. No. They’re the ones who broke their end of the deal. They haven’t disappeared at all, I know they haven’t. I don’t know why, but I know they’re close. They’ve gotta be. Why else would they break into her father’s home and plant my ID inside? Exactly. I know that I’ve said before that I was close to finding out who they are, but now I honestly believe that we’re not so far off from finding out the truth.
My shoulders tense when I hear a door on the other side again, but this time I do hear voices. Shit. Oh, this isn’t good. This isn’t good at all. What did I just hear? I heard a woman’s voice, and she’s asking Alexis questions. Yep. It’s gotta be a cop. And, that sound would be my heart thrashing inside my chest again. I take a couple of deep breaths, and then hear Alexis’ voice.
A few minutes pass before I feel the door I’m leaning on push against me, and as soon as she steps inside, I bring my hand up to cover her mouth, bringing her body until she’s fully pressing up against mine while pushing the door closed with my foot. Just before she stepped inside, I heard her and whether she likes it or not, I know that she just covered for me. I know she did. She believes me, even if she doesn’t know it herself yet.
“Sshhhh,” I whisper in her ear, and loosen the grip I have on her. The last thing I need for her to do is make a sound. The cop in the room next door would be bound to know something’s going on if she was to hear anything. I turn her around until she’s looking right at me, her eyes wider than normal. “Don’t make a sound.” I tell her, and lift my index finger up to her lips, keeping my eyes on hers the whole time.
“How the hell did you get in here?” She hisses, but thankfully not loud enough for anybody outside the room to hear. “She found a note you wrote, she wants the other one, and she’s asking to know about our place!”
I pull her closer to me before closing my eyes. Shit. Alright, think.
The lake isn’t gonna be a huge problem for them to know about, it just means that I can’t go there, but it’s not the same without Alexis anyways. The main thing here is that she doesn’t tell them that she’s seen me. Not only will I be in a whole heap of trouble, but so will Alexis, “Give her what she wants, and tell her about the lake,” I tell her, and lift my hand up, brushing my fingers through her hair so I can see her beautiful face more clearly. “Don’t tell her you’ve seen me though.”
“You want me to lie for you?” She both looks and sounds shocked, but I think the thing she’s forgetting here is that she’s already covered for me before.
“Beautiful, you already did,” I tell her. “Go and get rid of her.” I try and smile, and take a small step away from her. The sooner the cop leaves, the sooner I can make things a little better for the both of us. Alexis nods, and then heads over to her nightstand. Well, it’s good to know she hasn’t ripped it up or burnt it or anything.
“You said to keep reading it until it all made sense,” she says as she slowly walks back toward me. She didn’t understand what I was trying to tell her, though I think after everything that’s happened over the past couple of weeks, it’s obvious she didn’t work it out yet. If she had then she would know more than what she seems to. She’d know that I didn’t wanna leave her behind.
“Take the first word from the beginning of every sentence, and then you’ll figure out what I was really trying to say.” I watch as she looks down to the piece of paper, and when she lifts her head up again, I can see the surprise in her eyes.
You wanna know what it said? We’ll have our forever don’t trust anyone. Yeah, pretty simple if you think about it, but not so obvious to anyone who wouldn’t know what they were looking for. Unfortunately, Alexis didn’t know that I’d put a message within the message.
She grabs my face, crashing her lips on mine before I even have a chance to react. Damn, I’ve missed these lips. She smiles against my mouth, and my whole body begins to relax when she takes a step away. Oh, I wanted her to kiss me, just not until we’ve gotten everything cleared up. Why? Well, because I have this gut-wrenching feeling that she’s gonna hate me when I tell her what I think’s been going on.
“Things still aren’t that straightforward, Alexis,” I tell her, keeping my gaze fixed firmly on the floor when I tell her this. Damn, I really wish it were that straightforward. “We have a lot of things we need to deal with, and I’m not so sure you’ll be so willing to accept everything that I have to tell you.” When I lift my gaze, I notice the frown that’s now formed over her face, and I know she wasn’t expecting for me to say this. But, it’s true. How do you go about telling the one person you love more than life itself that their mom was most likely murdered because she knew too much? Not only that, but it was the guy who loves her, the one she loves, who’s the one responsible for her moms death?
“I’ll be right back.” She tells me when we hear a door slam closed. I nod as she heads out, and run my fingers though my hair as I go to take a seat down on her bed while I wait for her to come back.
Do I know what I’m gonna say to her? No, I don’t. All I know it that what I’m about to tell her is gonna break her, and I know that I might end up losing her once she knows the truth. Shit, I can’t lose her.
When I hear the door swing back open a couple of minutes later, I look over in her direction, and tap the space beside me so she’ll come over and join me, “Hey.” I say, and lie back on the bed. I don’t wanna see the look in her eyes when I tell her this, so I place my hands over my face to block her out. Is me doing this gonna help? Nope. Not one bit, but there’s no way I wanna witness the hate she might hold for me once I speak the words. “You don’t deserve any of this, Alexis. You really don’t. I’m so sorry.”
I feel the bed dip, and her hands are now covering mine as she tries to pull them away. I turn until I’m staring directly into her eyes, lift my hand close to her face, and run my fingers over her left cheek and across her jaw as I sit back up. No, I’ve gotta look her in the eye when I tell her this. I can’t back away, not anymore.
“Alexis?” I say, sitting up some more, resting on my elbow while my other hand strokes her shoulder. “You look like shit.” She does. She still looks beautiful, but she also looks exhausted. These past weeks have affected her just as much as they have me.
“I need some answers. You need to tell me what the hell has been going on because since you left, my life has turned crazy. Actually, it’s been crazy since the first day I m
et you.” Her saying this isn’t making this situation any easier. From what she’s just said, it feels like she already has regrets. I don’t want her to regret taking a chance on me. I didn’t want any of this, but I can understand why she would. Her life was near on perfect before I came in and destroyed it.
I sit cross-legged on the bed while turning to face her. This is it. Telling her this is gonna either make us or break us. I’m really hoping that it’s not gonna be the latter, “I’m not sure whether you’re gonna be able to handle this, Alexis. It’s scaring the shit outta me because if I tell you, you might resent me, hate me, never forgive me, and I don’t think I could handle that.”
I hear her take a deep breath, and watch as she closes her eyes for a brief second, "Brandon, it can't be any worse than the things I've been imagining, or how it felt when you left.” Oh, it can, beautiful. You really have no idea how deep this thing really goes. “You can tell me anything.”
“Your mom …” Shit. If I didn’t have to tell her then I wouldn’t, but she has the right to know why she lost her mom. I climb off of the bed and start pacing the floor. My breaths are heavy, and all I wanna do is make all of this go away. “Shit! I don’t think her death was an accident, Alexis.” My voice is weak, and I feel a stray tear running slowly down my cheek. “I’m so fucking sorry!”
“No, no, it was … It was a drunk driver … It was … Why would you even say that? Why would you try and hurt me like this?” This is the reaction I was fearing the most.
“Beautiful, they only said that because they didn’t know. My lawyer, he came to visit me on that same day. The cop that had been working on my case had evidence to prove I was innocent of everything. That cop … that same cop, your mom, Alexis … she never came. She never came because she lost her life that day.” I walk right over to her when I see her tears, and kneel down by the bed, grasping her hands in mine. I’m not trying to hurt you, beautiful. That’s the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do.
“If that were really the case then they still would have cleared you! You’re lying!” She screams at me before ripping her hands from out of mine, and heading through to the living area. Shit.
“Alexis, you need to listen to me,” I say as I go after her. “As soon as they found the drugs at my place, they pulled each and every cop away from the case and wrapped it up. As far as they were concerned, I was the one who did it. Holly, the dealing, everything! Your mom though, your mom didn’t believe it, she didn’t believe that I did it.” She wipes the tears away from her eyes with the back of her hands, and I see her heading straight over to the main door. No. No, don’t. Don’t tell me to leave. Don’t ask me to leave you like this. “Alexis, please?”
“Get out! Just get out and don’t ever come back!” She screaming right in my face now, my chest tightening when the words she’s just spoken sink in. Never come back. She doesn’t mean that. She can’t. No. No, she’s gotta let me explain!
“What the hell is this?” I hear Alyssa ask from my left, just before she wraps her arms tightly around Alexis. It should be me wrapping my arms around her. I should be the one holding her; comforting her. Me. Nobody else.
“Dude, you’re back?” Ryan asks as he comes to stand beside me. “The cops won’t stay away, bro. What the fuck did you do?” I didn’t do anything.
Alexis takes a step forward, and reaches for the door, opening it up before grabbing a hold of my arm. No. No, she— “I said get out!” She’s trying to pull me forward and out through the door, but I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere.
“I left for us, I left because they threatened me, Alexis. I had no fucking choice!” I try and tell her loud enough for it to sink in. She isn’t listening. She needs to hear me! I grab her face, making her look at me. If she won’t believe anything I have to say then she’ll need to look in my eyes and see that I’m not lying. Yeah, she needs to read me. If she sees me then she’s gonna know that I’m telling the truth here.
Her breaths are becoming a whole lot more even now, and she’s no longer trying to push me away. Yeah, that’s it. Look at me and you’ll know that I’m not doing all of this just to hurt you. I’ll never hurt you, beautiful.
“Brandon?” I hear Neil behind me as he walks inside the dorm. “What’s going on?”
“I need Alexis to understand why I left, why I came back and—”
“Whoa, wait a second. By the looks of things, you both need to calm the fuck down.” Neil says, and I feel him place his arm around my shoulders while ushering my further back in the room. “Come and explain what the hell has been going on, bro.” Finally! Finally somebody who’s willing to listen. We head toward his room, and I look back over my shoulder to Alexis. She’s gotta believe me. I need her to. She’s all I have. She’s everything to me.
“If you don’t believe me, Alexis, I may as well give up the fight and let them throw away the key. You’re the only person I need, the only person I want. If I lose you, I lose everything that’s been keeping me going each and every day through all of this.” I can see her lips tremble, but she doesn’t respond. She doesn’t say a word. Not one.
I turn back away as we near Neil’s room, a sharp pain shooting through my stomach, and a dull ache spreading across my chest. From the way she was looking at me just now, it feels like I might’ve already lost her.
Chapter Twenty
“Not like that!” Rach scolds, ripping the wooden spoon right out from my hand. “Just stand back. Just. Stand. The Hell. Away!” She elbows me away from the counter, and sets to work on creating what she likes to call ‘Her Masterpiece’.
What’s going on? Well, I’m making a special dinner for Alexis. Well, Rach is making the dinner. But, before you laugh, let me explain. For the last six hours I’ve been trying to make something myself, and if I’m gonna be completely honest with you here, I actually thought that I did a good job, but then Rach dropped by to check in on things and she made it clear that under no circumstances should I ever be let loose in the kitchen. Was I offended? Yeah, actually I was, but then she had me taste what I’d knocked together, and I hate to admit this, but I’m now in full agreement with her. My culinary skills suck ass. Major ass. It tasted so bad that I thought I was actually gonna hurl right here in the kitchen.
Yeah, a lot’s happened since I went to see Alexis at her place, and I think the main people I need to thank for her hearing me out is Neil and Rye. If it wasn’t for them then I don’t think she would’ve agreed to meet with me. You see, I told them everything that’s been going on. I told them the reason why I left, why I’m staying away now, and what I’m planning to do to make all of this right again. They know everything, but the good thing about this is that I don’t need to get them involved this time. I’ve put far too many people in danger as it is, the last thing I wanna be doing is getting them caught up in this mess as well.
Zach brought Alexis out here the same day I went to see her at her place, and she listened. And, now? Well, now she believes me. I knew she would once she’d let me explain, she just needed some time to process everything I had to tell her, that’s all. She wants what I want. She wants to find out what happened to her mom, and I can’t begin to explain to you how relieved I felt when she told me that she stills wants to have a forever with me.
I went over to her place that same night, and I stayed most of the day afterward, though things could’ve worked out a hell of a lot different. You wanna know how? Well, I’ll tell you. Alexis’ father showed up at her place. To say he wasn’t so happy about the company she’s been keeping would be an understatement, especially when she introduced us to one another. Did he wanna hang me up by the balls? Yep. And, I think he would’ve quite gladly taken me down to the police department himself when he realized that I’m the guy who allegedly broke into his home.
He and Alexis went to have a quiet word, and thankfully he listened to what she had to say. No, scrap that. He listened to the both of us. Why am I smiling? I’m smiling because he went to the cops a
nd told them to drop the charges they had against me for the break-in. I’ve gotta admit that at first I thought it was a trap. I thought that he only told Alexis that he was okay with the two of us being together so he could get me out of the dorm. But, it wasn’t a trap. He meant what he said, and he helped get the cops off of my back. Okay, so he wasn’t so nice to me when he first saw the both of us fooling around in the living area, but he soon warmed to me, and I think that’s all got to do with the fact that I helped smooth things over with him and Alexis.
You see, he was in Seattle with somebody, and this was something that upset Alexis so much that I was the only person who managed to calm her back down enough to see reason. Yep, that somebody he brought with him was his new girlfriend, Diane. At first Alexis wouldn’t listen, and I could totally understand why she was so upset. It was the first time she’d seen her father happy with someone other than her mom. She said that she thought it was way too soon for him to find somebody else, and for once, I had to disagree with her.
Her father lost her mom, his wife, around the same time that I lost Holls, and because I know how hard it was for me to move on with Alexis, I had to tell her that she needed to see things for what they really are.
Just because the cops are off of my back doesn’t make everything else just go away, though. We still have a lot to deal with before things can go back to the way they were before. I need to lay low for a while, and so I asked Alexis to come and stay with me here at the cabin until college starts back next week.
Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged) Page 24