Eventually Dora fell into a light doze. Anna stood, stretching. She tiptoed to the window and peered out, but she couldn’t see a thing. Except that the snow was still falling, steadily cushioning the world, enveloping it in stillness.
Not so still, she realized suddenly. Someone was moving on the porch. Could James have gotten back already? She hurried to the door.
It opened before she reached it to admit a snow-covered figure. Stamping and brushing off snow, he turned.
“Ben! What are you doing here?”
Heedless of her question, he shed his gloves and grasped her hands. “Are you all right? When I heard you were out here by yourself...”
Irrational joy swept over Anna. Ben was here. Whatever he might intend to do in the future, he’d come back now out of concern for her.
“I’m fine.” She glanced toward the other room. “Dora Beachy is here. The baby’s coming, and James went to try and get through to the rescue squad. Is that how you knew?”
Ben shook his head. “When I saw how bad it was getting, I checked with Daniel to see if everyone had gotten there. They had—everyone but you. So I came.”
He said it so simply, as if there had been no question of any other choice.
“But how? It’s so bad out.” She helped him shed the heavy, soaked jacket.
“Made it as far as Thompson’s place with the horse and buggy, but the drifts were getting too bad. I left the horse there. They’d have brought me on the snowmobile, but Frank Thompson had already taken it to get James to someplace where he could call the rescue squad.”
“James is all right, then. Thank the gut Lord. But how could you walk in this snow?” Her heart shuddered at the thought of him trudging through the blinding snow and darkness. “You could have been lost...” Her throat closed on a sob.
“Not a chance. Once I saw your light I just kept walking toward it.” He took her hands again, holding them securely in his. “Toward you.”
Anna’s heart seemed to swell. He had come to her. Their foolish quarrel hadn’t been the end. She didn’t even need an explanation for that phone call. She just needed to know that he’d put her first.
“Anna, I have to tell you...” He broke off at a voice from the other room.
“Anna? Is that James? Is he safe?”
With an effort, Anna drew her hands from his clasp and hurried to Dora. “It’s not James, it’s Ben. But he says James is fine. One of the Thompson boys took him on their snowmobile to get help.”
Dora’s face brightened. “I knew he’d get through. My James can do anything he sets his mind to.”
“That’s right.” Anna checked her deftly and listened to the baby’s heartbeat. “Nice and strong,” she said in answer to Dora’s anxious gaze.
Dora’s eyes widened as a new contraction began. For an instant she lost focus, and Anna recalled her gently, coaching her through it.
“The baby is getting serious,” Anna said, smoothing Dora’s hair back from her face. “We have some work ahead of us, ain’t so?”
Dora managed a smile for the first time since she’d arrived. “Guess so.”
“Anna?” Ben ventured far enough to lean in the open doorway. “Anything I can do to help?” He sounded as if he hoped she would say no.
“Start some water heating in the kettle,” she instructed. “I may want to brew some herbal tea. And then you can put a blanket to warm in front of the heater.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t ask you to catch the baby. That’s my job.”
Even Dora chuckled at his expression, but then she took on that listening expression Anna had seen so often before in expectant mammis. It was as if what was happening inside their bodies was miles more important than anything outside.
A pang of envy went through her with the longing to experience it herself, but this time it was mixed with just a little hope. Maybe, one day...
* * *
Ben had more than one opportunity in the next hour to think that he might be better off out in the snow. But then he’d look at Anna and know how foolish that was. He was here, with her. And if he could help her in any way, he’d happily fetch and carry and try to keep his mind off what she was doing.
Ben tried telling himself that this was like watching a calf or a lamb or any other creature coming into the world. It didn’t seem to help much.
Focus on helping Anna, he ordered himself. That’s all you can do now.
Time ran into itself. Was the night lasting forever, or was it moving at incredible speed? Dora’s small face was beaded with sweat, and he wiped it with a towel without being asked. She shot him a thankful look before returning to that fierce concentration that seemed to shut out everything else.
“We’re getting close,” Anna said, her tone still invincibly cheerful. “Dora, I want you to hold on to Ben’s hands. Pull against them as hard as you can when you feel the urge. Don’t worry. You won’t hurt him.”
Dora nodded and grabbed him, fingers clenching so that he felt them bite into his palms. He hung on and looked to Anna for reassurance.
“She won’t mind my being here?” he asked quietly.
Anna smiled, shaking her head. “She’s too busy to notice who’s here, as long as she has someone to hang on to.”
She seemed to be right. Dora accepted him almost without seeing him as she put all her strength into a push.
“Great, Dora. Just great. Here’s the baby’s head.” Anna was focused, her hands deft and strong. “One more push now.”
Somehow, Ben wasn’t sure how, Dora mustered the strength for another push.
“Easy, breathe now, the way I showed you. Don’t push for a moment.” Anna sounded calm, but somehow he sensed something was happening.
Dora did, as well. “What’s wrong? Is something wrong with my baby?”
“Nothing at all,” Anna soothed. “I’m just turning him or her a tiny bit to make it easier, that’s all.”
He kept his gaze on his Anna’s face as he sent up a silent prayer. Please, God...
“All right. Just one more push now.”
One more, and he couldn’t keep himself from looking just in time to see the baby slide out into Anna’s hands. For a long moment there was silence, and then an outraged cry sounded lustily. Dora was crying, too, and smiling as well, and it was all he could do to blink back tears himself.
Anna brought the squalling little being to Dora, putting it gently on her chest. “It’s a girl. You have a fine, strong baby girl.”
Dora’s arms circled her child, her face transformed.
His eyes met Anna’s across the width of the bed and her face was transformed as well. “We did it,” she murmured. “Denke, Ben.”
He shook his head. “Not me. You did it all.”
Funny. He’d grown up knowing that his mother was a midwife, but he’d never really appreciated it until now.
Chapter Ten
It was nearly an hour before Anna had both mammi and baby settled. She slipped quietly into the adjoining room, leaving the door open to hear the slightest sound. Ben was leaning back in a desk chair, feet propped on a pulled-out drawer, his eyes closed. She moved a little nearer, a wave of tenderness sweeping over her. He must be exhausted after battling his way through the storm and then helping her deliver a baby. She should let him sleep.
Before she could move away, Ben reached out and caught her wrist, his eyes opening. “Komm, sit,” he said. “I’ve been keeping the kettle hot for you.” He rose and pushed her gently into a chair. “I’ll bring you some tea.”
She would argue, but the chair seemed to welcome her, making her realize how tired she was. When Ben brought the tea, she wrapped her hands around the mug thankfully.
“How are they?” He nodded toward the bed.
“Just
fine. Both sleeping.” Anna stretched her back and then took a thirsty gulp from her mug. “Is it still snowing outside?”
“Slacking off a bit at the moment, but I’d guess this snowfall will go in the record books,” he said, settling into the chair he pulled up next to hers. “No signal on the cell phone yet.”
“It’s a shame we can’t let James know everything’s all right. He’ll be worried.” She pushed back a strand of hair that had come free, wondering how disheveled she looked after the long hours.
“Worried,” Ben echoed. He captured her hand in his. “Like I was.”
Anna’s cheeks flushed. “You shouldn’t have risked so much to get here.”
“I had to.” He moved his fingers on the back of her hand, sending warmth through her. “I had to tell you I was sorry for the way I spoke.”
“Ach, no.” How could he think that? “I’m the one to be sorry. I didn’t trust you. I didn’t let you explain.” Her voice grew husky on the words as her throat tightened. In response, Ben lifted her hand and kissed her wrist just where her pulse beat heavily.
“Not your fault. Mine. I was the one who was too proud to explain.” He shook his head. “Stupid. I should have known I could tell you anything.”
“You can,” she said, feeling her way, “but you don’t have to.” She realized quite suddenly that she could say the important words without doubt. “I trust you.”
He sent her a questioning glance, seeming relieved at what he read in her face. “It’s not surprising that you didn’t feel you could, after the way I ran out on you.”
“Hush.” She put her fingers over his mouth. “You told me about it. I understand.”
“I told you why I left. I didn’t tell you what happened out there.” A nod of his head indicated the outside world. “I didn’t tell you who Mickey is.”
“You don’t have to...” she began.
“I want to.” Ben actually looked surprised at himself. “I never thought to tell a soul, but I want you to know.”
She had to clear her throat before she could get the words out. “Tell me, then.” She wouldn’t judge him. Whatever it was, she would understand.
“Mickey was an Englisch kid I got to know when I was a teenager. His family lived in that fancy development over on the other side of Lost Creek.”
“He?” Anna said involuntarily.
“Ya, a guy,” he said, smiling a little at her relief. “We always talked about hitching our way across the country together, seeing the world. Nothing ever came of it, though. And then that summer three years ago he was back in town, and we got together. Seemed his father wanted him to go on to graduate school, become a lawyer like his daad was. Mickey felt like life was getting away from him, and he hadn’t done all the things he’d planned. As if his future was all planned out for him.”
“The way you felt that last night,” Anna said softly, pushing away her own pain at the memory.
He nodded, and she could read the shame in his face. “So you can guess the rest. We took off, making our way west, just bumming around and seeing what we wanted. Mickey had a car and money, and it seemed like we were free.”
He stopped, as if not sure how to go on, and Anna knew he had come to the difficult thing—the thing he’d been hiding all along.
“Then something went wrong,” she said. “What was it?”
He gripped her hand as tightly as Dora had gripped his when the baby was coming. “It was stupid, I guess. Mickey thought a guy at a store where we stopped had ripped him off. He was steamed about it. He told me to wait in the car for him, and he went back. He said he was just going to tell the guy off. Instead he took the money he figured was owed him.”
Anna couldn’t suppress a gasp. “He stole?”
“He didn’t see it that way,” Ben said grimly. “But the police did. Both of us ended up in jail.”
“Ach, Ben, I’m so sorry.” Her fingers caressed his cheek, hoping she could smooth away the tension. “But you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No. But...” His face showed the pain that had him in its hold. “We were supposed to go before the judge, and Mickey panicked. All he could think was what his father would do when he found out. If he was convicted that would destroy his chances of ever being a lawyer, and all of a sudden, when he thought he couldn’t have it, he knew how much it meant to him.” He pressed her hand against his cheek. “Like me, when I came back and realized the farm would never belong to me.”
“He wanted you to take the blame.” Anna figured it out without his saying it, and her heart ached for him.
He nodded. “Stupid, I guess. But at the time...well, it seemed like I was losing everything anyway, so what difference did it make? Mickey was convinced it would just mean a fine. He’d pay that, and we could walk away.”
“It didn’t happen like that?” Her heart seemed to be breaking for him.
“The judge sentenced me to seven months in the county jail.” He said the words flatly. “Mickey paid the costs. He wanted to give me money, too, but I didn’t want it.”
“No, you wouldn’t.” She sought for the words he needed to hear. “It must have been so terrible for you. How could you stand it, being locked up for something you didn’t do?”
Ben’s mouth twisted. “It was no picnic. Some days I thought I’d go crazy with wanting to walk through a field instead of a concrete exercise yard. But I made it. I had to.”
“Why, Ben? Why didn’t you come home after you got out of jail?” The words burst out of her.
He shrugged. “Too stubborn. Too proud. I didn’t want to admit what a fool I’d been. I thought I wouldn’t be welcome. It took me all this time to swallow my pride and admit what I really wanted was to be home again.”
For the first time she truly realized why the church considered pride such a sin. It separated you from those who loved you, including God.
“You are home now. That’s what counts.” She held his hands in both of hers, longing to make him believe her words. “This fuss with your daad will settle down. I’m sure of it.”
She hesitated, but there was one more thing he probably needed to say. “About those calls from Mickey...”
Ben grimaced. “Maybe he’s grown up a bit, like I have. He feels like he owes me something. He wanted to ask my forgiveness.” For a moment he was quiet, and she longed to know what he was thinking. “I finally saw that if I was going to come back to my life here, I needed to see Mickey. I couldn’t go back to the church without settling my anger with him.” He looked into Anna’s eyes. “I couldn’t ask you to marry me until I’d settled the unfinished business of the past. I had to tell him I forgave him.”
Relief swept through her. “And have you?”
“I have.” Her heart seemed to heal again at his expression. “Anna Zook, I asked you once to marry me. Now I’m asking you again. Will you marry me?”
A smile teased at her lips. “I only needed once, Benjamin. Ya, I will marry you.”
Ben stood, drawing Anna up with him, and pulled her into his arms, and she felt that she, too, had come home.
Several very satisfying kisses later he pulled back just enough to see her face. “I wish I knew what I had to offer you, my Anna. If I’m not to have the farm, I’ll have to look for something else.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She was strong in the confidence of his love. “Whatever the future brings, we will handle it. We’ll build a life together whether it’s here or somewhere else.”
He grinned. “Just promise me I won’t have to see any more babies being born.”
“Only our own,” she said, her cheeks flushing. “You won’t mind that, will you?”
He drew her close against him, and she longed for the day they would be truly one. “No, I won’t mind,” he said.
They were still standing cl
ose together when the first rays of the rising sun crept over the ridge and brightened the eastern sky. A moment later they heard the roar of a snowplow.
With his hand clasping hers, Ben peered out the front window. “A snowplow, an EMT truck and a police car. It looks like help has arrived in force.” He squeezed her hand. “You’ll have to tell them that you did fine without their help.”
Heart lifting, Anna smiled. “I had help.” Thank You, Lord.
* * *
The day after Christmas was known in the Amish world as Second Christmas, a day for visiting with friends and relatives and rejoicing together. As far as Anna could tell, everyone seemed to know already about her and Ben. No one actually said anything, but the knowing glances and frequent smiles gave the secret away.
A steady stream of people had been braving the snowy roads to stop at the house, and Elizabeth was in her element, pressing food and drink on all of them.
As she headed for the kitchen yet again, Anna intercepted her. “You’ve been on your feet all day. Let me put more coffee on or set out cookies or whatever it was you intended to do.”
Elizabeth surprised her with a hug. “I’m so wonderful happy today that I could go on forever, I think.” She glanced around to be sure that no one could hear them. “Asa wants to tell Ben himself, but I can’t keep it from you, not now. Asa says that with you taking over more of the midwife practice and Ben here to take over the farm, come spring we’ll get started on building a daadi haus next to this one.”
The first thing that registered with Anna was what she’d said about Ben. “You mean it? The farm will go to Ben?”
Elizabeth gave the quick nod that was so typical of her when she was pleased. “Asa sees that Josh is so determined that there’s no dissuading him from the job he wants. And he says he’s not so ferhoodled that he can’t see Ben is here to stay now.” She squeezed Anna again. “It is just what I always hoped would happen. No one could have given me a happier Christmas. Now you go and visit with folks. I don’t need any help just now.”
Amish Christmas Blessings: The Midwife's Christmas Surprise/A Christmas to Remember Page 8