Home Before Dark

by Susan Wiggs

  “I guess you’ll have a chance to get acquainted while she’s here.”

  Lila shrugged again, pulled a stray thread from her cutoffs. “I guess.” It was about damn time, she thought. About time something interesting happened in this family.

  “’Night, kiddo. I’ll see you day after tomorrow.” Her dad planted a kiss on the top of her head and stepped out. She lay thinking about him and how strange it must be to go see a man’s family while the state executed him. What did he say to them? What did he feel?

  Most kids whose dads were lawyers were considered lucky. Their fathers made tons of money and drove BMWs and flew to Aspen or King Ranch in chartered planes. Lila’s dad wasn’t that sort of lawyer. She was old enough to know his work was important, but young enough to wish he got more out of it than write-ups in the paper and interviews on Court TV.

  A few minutes later, her mom came in, carrying an armload of folded laundry. “Hey, sweetie.”

  “Hey.” Lila wasn’t sweet, and hadn’t been in a long time. And both she and her mom knew it.

  “Try getting these put away—”

  “Before they go out of style,” Lila said, taking the stack of folded shorts and crop tops and setting them on the end of the bed—on top of yesterday’s stack. “I will.”

  Her mother sent a pointed glance at the stack, but said nothing. She didn’t have to. Lila felt the familiar accusation.

  Taking refuge in indifference, she said, “So what’s the deal with Jessie?”

  Her mom looked distracted, maybe nervous, although Lila had never really seen her mom acting nervous. She was always so sure of herself, so decisive. “I’m not certain what her plans are. She’s going to do some pictures for a magazine, I think.” Mom pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear; she looked tired and harried. She always did, and that annoyed Lila. These days, everything about her annoyed Lila. The way she always wore faded shorts and giveaway T-shirts, the way she never put on any lipstick, the way she caught her thick red hair in a messy ponytail, the way she ate Scottie’s leftover peanut butter toast for breakfast and never fixed anything for herself, the way she pretended to watch MTV with Lila but was really reading one of her bazillion travel books about Provence or Tibet, a dreamy look suffusing her face until something sexy happened on The Real World. Then her face would contract into a prune of disapproval. She was uncool and she knew it. Worst of all, she didn’t care.

  “So what do you think of her?” Mom asked.

  “Dad wanted to know the same thing.”

  “And?”

  “She’s okay, I guess. Jeez, we had supper. Big deal. What, am I supposed to love her instantly because she’s family?”

  Mom blinked in surprise. For a second, she looked almost pretty. “I don’t know what you’re supposed to feel. Curious, I guess.”

  “Whatever.”

  Mom hesitated, then bent down and gave her a kiss. She smelled of the mom smell—cooking grease, shampoo, generic brand antiperspirant. “Make sure your homework is done.”

  “You bet,” Lila said, knowing full well she wouldn’t do the Spanish or the algebra tonight.

  She had big plans instead. Luckily she didn’t have long to wait. Dad would be off to Huntsville within the hour, and whenever he went out of town, her mom turned in early to fall asleep while reading House Beautiful or Travel & Leisure. Thank God tonight there would be no shuffle and squeak of bedsprings and soft giggles as her parents tried to be quiet. That sort of thing was excruciating to Lila.

  Tonight she heard only the low murmur of their voices as Dad packed his bag. They were probably discussing Jessie and the guy on death row and maybe the meeting Dad would miss tomorrow with Lila’s school counselor. She was glad of that. They kept trying to understand her “issues,” and work on her motivation and self-concept—like those things were going to turn her into an A student with a perfectly clean room.

  Sure thing, Mom.

  After a while, she heard her dad drive away to the airpark and finally, finally the lights clicked off and the house settled.

  A soft pinging sound alerted her. Heart thumping madly, she dashed to the window. The pebble at the window was an old trick, but it worked. She blinked her light three times to let him know she was coming.

  By now, Lila had memorized the steps going downstairs. Numbers three, six and eleven creaked; she avoided them. She slipped out through the kitchen door and crossed the deck, and there he was.

  Heath Walker. The only thing that made life worth living.

  He was like a god, standing there, one hand on his hip, the other offering Beaver a piece of beef jerky so the stupid dog wouldn’t sound the alarm.

  Lila leaped at Heath, loving the feel of his arms going around her. His thick, wavy hair was made for her searching fingers. They kissed, hot slippery mouths and restless hungry tongues. Heath was ready to party. She could taste the flavor of purloined cigarettes and Shiner beer in his mouth.

  “Let’s go,” she whispered, tugging him by the hand. “Hurry.”

  He tossed the rest of the beef jerky to the dog and they slipped away into the dark woods. He always parked on the other side of the property so no one would hear his Jeep or see the headlights.

  “Oh, shit.” Lila froze, clutching his hand.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “We’ve got company. My aunt is staying in the cabin. Shit shit shit.”

  “Maybe she didn’t hear.”

  They didn’t speak as they crept along the path. Lila actually held her breath, not wanting to inhale bad luck from the atmosphere. There was one tricky thing about this. To get to the place where Heath parked his Jeep, they had to pass by the row of three cabins. If they were quiet, if they were lucky, she wouldn’t see them. If they were unlucky, they’d have to make up some story about him borrowing a homework paper or textbook.

  A single light burned in the bedroom window of the cabin. Please please please, Lila thought.

  But no. The minute Lila and Heath stepped out of the shadows, there she was, standing in the doorway, shading her eyes.

  “Lila?” she called softly, “is that you?”

  Lila dropped Heath’s hand. “Be cool,” she said under her breath, then pasted on her best teacher-pleasing smile, even though Jessie wasn’t anything like any teacher she’d ever known. Lila was a good faker, and she knew it. Her acting ability had kept her from flunking out of school, from getting caught shoplifting…but Jessie was a photographer, like Mom. A pang of nervousness rattled Lila, as she wondered, Can a photographer see things other people can’t?

  “It’s me, Aunt Jessie.”

  “Come into the light, where I can see you.”

  Lila complied, motioning Heath to her side. Her aunt was wearing silky little shorts printed with moons and stars, and a spaghetti strap tank top. It was something Lila would have picked for herself.

  “Um, this is my friend, Heath. He came over to borrow my chemistry book.”

  “Oh. Hi, Heath. Nice to meet you.” She stuck out her hand, and for a second she aimed it in the wrong direction. She grinned, and her smile was beguiling. Her accent was unusual, as cool as the rest of her.

  “Good to meet you, ma’am.” Heath had perfect manners for meeting grown-ups, Lila thought with a surge of pride. The way he looked her in the eye, shook her hand, she’d never guess how toasted he was.

  “So you must be a dedicated scholar, coming out so late to borrow a textbook,” said Jessie.

  “Hey, Aunt Jessie, give us a break, okay?” Lila sent her a wide-eyed look of appeal. “We’re only going for a walk by the lake, I swear, that’s all.” She tried to sound desperate but not pathetic. But God, she had to get away with this. She had to. If Jessie ratted on them, Heath might drop her. He was a senior, captain of the football team and star quarterback. He could have any girl he wanted, and he might not want a girl who couldn’t handle sneaking out on a school night.

  Jessie hesitated, obviously trying to assess the situation.
/>   “We’re not doing anything bad, I swear it,” Lila assured her.

  Jessie pushed a finger at her lower lip. “Okay,” she said at last. “I’ll give you this one, girlfriend. I don’t want to start our relationship on the wrong foot.”

  It was an odd turn of phrase. Start our relationship. Like this was the beginning of something. Lila would contemplate that later. For now, she wanted to savor her victory. She lit up with a smile and impulsively flung her arms around her aunt. It was weird to be hugging her, this person she’d never met until today. “Thank you,” she said. “You’re the best.”

  Jessie seemed surprised by the hug, then she clung hard for a second before stepping back. “Just don’t screw up,” she said. “And remember, if your mom asks, I can’t lie for you.”

  “You won’t have to, because I won’t screw up, right Heath?”

  “You bet. Nice to meet you, ma’am.” He grinned that awshucks grin that made Lila’s heart speed up, and it seemed to work on Aunt Jessie, too. She gazed at him with a sort of soft, melty look on her face, not with narrow-eyed suspicion like Mom would have. Pride and gladness surged through her as she took Heath’s hand and gave it a squeeze. This was one of those moments she wanted to keep forever, to remind herself how good life was.

  They veered down to the lake, then took a circuitous route along the gravel driveway to Heath’s Jeep. “Close call,” she said on a burst of relief as she settled herself into the passenger seat.

  “I’ll say.” He leaned across the console and kissed her again, and this time his hand stole downward to touch her breast.

  She felt an electrical sting of fire, then reluctantly pulled back. He’d been pressuring her to have sex, and she’d been holding out, but pretty soon she knew she’d give in. One of these days they’d find the right time and the right place, and it would be perfect. “Everyone’s probably wondering where we are. We’d better get a move on,” she said.

  “Yeah.” He put the Jeep in gear and drove up past the broken rock, then pulled out onto the road. Lila pushed the power on the radio, and a gut-thumping beat filled the car. A short way down the road, they picked up four more passengers. Travis Bridger and his younger brother Dig, and Lila’s best and second-best friends, Kathy Beemer and Sierra Jeffries. Travis, who was seventeen and looked old enough to buy beer in the next town, passed around chilled, sweaty cans of Shiner.

  “Nectar of the gods, my friends,” he announced, took a long gulp, then let loose with an impressive belch.

  Turning around to the back seat, Lila clinked cans with everyone. “Cheers,” she said, and downed a third of the beer in one pull. She honestly didn’t care for the fizzy, bitter taste of it. But after the first beer, the second went down with ease, spreading its blurry chill through her limbs, softening the edges of the world and making her mouth tend toward smiling for no reason.

  “Double your pleasure.” Heath handed her a joint, and she used the cigarette lighter to spark it, inhaling and holding her breath and battling the urge to cough as she passed it to the back. The sight of the four of them sitting there, with Kathy in Dig’s lap because there weren’t enough seat belts, cracked Lila up. She opened her third beer to celebrate the moment. There was nothing like the soaring joy of knowing she had friends like these four and Heath, who understood her even though she didn’t have to say a word, who liked her even though her mother was lame, even though she didn’t seem to know her father anymore, even though her brothers drove her crazy. They just knew. Sometimes she thought they existed in her life for the sole purpose of reminding her that every night could be a party.

  The headlights of the Jeep threw a long cone of light along the empty road, the beam sweeping over scrub oak and mesquite and critters scuttling in the underbrush. The whole vehicle seemed to be buoyed along by beer and pot and laughter. When Heath reached out with his free hand to touch her cheek, she nearly burst with happiness.

  “Where to, chief?” asked Dig, his voice croaking as he held in a toke.

  “Seven Hills!” Lila shrieked, and Kathy took up the cry, too. “Seven Hills!”

  Heath kept his eyes on the road as a priceless grin slid across his face. “You got it.” He cracked open another beer, took a swig and set the can in the drink holder.

  Lila felt a thrill of anticipation. Seven Hills was their favorite place to go ramping, and Heath’s Jeep was the best vehicle for the job. His dad was loaded, and since the divorce he’d given Heath the best of everything, including a late-model Jeep, perfect for four-wheeling. And for launching.

  The sport had grown so popular that they’d devoted an entire safety assembly at school to the topic. The principal and a DPS officer in mirrored sunglasses had stood at the podium, ignoring laughter and heckling as they expounded on the dangers of hill-hopping by crazed teenagers who drank and smoked weed. The tight-assed adults missed the point. It wasn’t about danger and rebellion. It was about flying.

  “Ready, gang?” asked Heath as they approached the roller coaster series of seven hills near an abandoned rock quarry in the middle of nowhere. The popularity of the place had increased lately as word got around, in the mysterious manner that things got around to teenagers. A few other SUVs and trucks were already out hill-hopping. She recognized Judd Mason’s battered Bronco. There was an old pickup that might have belonged to anyone, but the flames painted on the sides and the yee-haw issuing from the open window were unmistakably Leif Ripley’s.

  Heath double-checked his seat belt. The back seat had only three belts, so he told Dig to let Kathy have the third one. “Brace your hands on the ceiling, man. Hard. You too, Lila honey.”

  With a sweet surge of admiration, she leaned over to kiss his cheek. He really was a safe driver. But safe didn’t have to mean boring. Heath was proof of that. He revved the engine, blinked his lights to let the others know he was ready for takeoff and then punched the accelerator.

  “Yeah!” Dig shouted from the back seat. “Go, Heath-man.”

  The Jeep shot up the hill like a bullet toward the sky, a perfect launch. Sierra and Kathy screamed, but Lila was mute with wonder at the breath-stealing speed. She pushed her hands flat against the roof, bracing herself.

  And then it happened. The launch. At the crest of the hill, the Jeep took off, all four tires leaving the ground. The windshield formed a perfect frame for the endless night sky. It was like looking out of the Starship Enterprise. For a moment, everything slowed—time, breath, heartbeat—and even the shrieks from the back seat faded to the awed silence of shock and wonder.

  Then came the inevitable bone-jarring landing. Heath managed it beautifully, with all the skill of a Hollywood stuntman in a Vin Diesel movie. Everyone celebrated with high-fives, and Dig, the idiot, decided to open a beer in celebration. The agitated beverage sprayed everywhere.

  “Way to go, Dig.” Travis cuffed his brother.

  “My neck hurts,” Kathy said. “My butt went three feet in the air.”

  Heath laughed and headed for hill number two. “Space,” he said in a deep TV announcer voice. “The final frontier.” Then he slammed his foot down on the accelerator. For a moment the back tires spun, filling the air with the harsh burn of rubber. Then the Jeep roared forward. They took the hill doing seventy, clearing the crest and bottoming out on the landing. Sparks shot from the undercarriage as the car careened along, bouncing crookedly. Lila felt a Fourth of July fireworks thrill as her shoulder slammed against the passenger-side door. Who cares if there’s a bruise, she thought as she shouted with glee. This was the essence of life, and she was grasping it with both hands.

  The next hill was her favorite, a long, straight shot up a sharp rise, followed by a landing on a steep slope. “One more,” she begged. “Please, one more.”

  Heath gunned the engine. “That’s what I like to hear,” he said, and her heart burst with pride, because he was so special and he’d given her a compliment.

  “This is the bomb,” yelled Dig.

  “I feel sick,” Sier
ra whined from the back seat. “I bit my lip, and it’s bleeding.”

  “Keep your mouth shut on the next jump,” Travis said, tucking his arm protectively around her.

  “Let’s go, Heath. Hit it, man!” Dig said.

  The Jeep raged forward. Lila had the sensation of leaving her stomach behind, like a feather on the wind. As they sped up the hill, the sky opened up before them, deep black and endless with possibility. She sensed everything with a heightened awareness—the sharp reek of rubber and road, the sound of her friends laughing, the rhythm of Second Wind pounding from the stereo, the crash of blood in her ears when the Jeep’s four wheels left the pavement.

  The vehicle flew higher than they had ever gone before. She knew it. She knew this launch was different when Dig pounded his knees and yelled, “Awriiight!” And when Kathy whispered, “I’m scared” and when Lila saw the sky begin to spin. And when Heath gripped the steering wheel and said, “Oh, shit.”

  Something was wrong, bad wrong. The knowledge flashed through everyone like an electric current, swift and shocking. Lila opened her mouth, but she didn’t know if she was screaming or not. Her hands flailed, then she clutched at the armrest. Someone’s—everyone’s—screams filled the Jeep, the night, the world, the universe.

  Time slowed and the car seem to float, suspended by terror and wishful thinking, and by prayers dredged up from Sunday school, over the road that wasn’t there anymore.

  It was over in the time it took to blink. Somehow, they’d taken off at a crazy angle, and there was no way they could land on the road. The Jeep crushed down to the ground, veering out of control, the windshield popping out like a contact lens. The car bounced and then rolled, and it was like the time Lila went kayaking on the Guadalupe River, and learned to roll the kayak, hanging upside-down underwater, so close to drowning that she saw stars until her mother had rescued her, hauling her to the surface by the scruff of the neck.