But short of keeping her hostage, I couldn't keep her here unless she wanted to stay. I couldn't live like this, knowing she was waking up crying, lying next to me.
The reality was, even after all we'd been through together, she could walk out the door and I'd never see her again. That prospect was the only thing that could fill my heart with fear.
It wouldn't happen. I couldn't let her walk away. But we couldn't go on like this.
"It's under control. No one's going to touch you again. We stick to the plan. I marry you and it's done. Everything goes back to normal. You can get on with your life. Go to college. Do whatever you want to. It's still raw right now, but everything will be better in the morning. I promise you that. "
She was the only woman in the world who'd get me as close to begging as this. Anyone else and I'd not have taken no for an answer. But I wanted Kaitlin to have me of her own free will.
And I knew she would, as long as she stopped being afraid of the consequences. With me by her side she shouldn't have to be afraid of anything, but I'd let her down and her trust was shaken. I hated myself for letting that happen.
"First thing, we'll start making plans. You'll see, Kaitlin. No one's going to touch you again."
I smoothed her tears away, and Kaitlin nodded slowly. It took a long while for her breathing to settle and I stayed awake, staring up at the ceiling long after she'd fallen asleep in my arms.
Once we were married, she'd put those thoughts of leaving Dublin out of her head. She wouldn't have to worry once she had my name. The symbolism of it would cleanse her of her parents' sins and she'd enter into a new and respected family. Mine.
We'd be legally tied together and maybe she'd start realising all the passion that flared between us wasn't just between the sheets.
I'd make sure of it. But we had to get that far first.
CHAPTER 31
Kaitlin
I hadn't really thought he was serious when he said he was marrying me in the restaurant. I half thought the ring was for show, with the way he was talking about what it would mean to Tiernan and Kilpatrick.
But the conversation last night put paid to that theory. He really meant to go through with it. And I was in turmoil.
I loved him, but I knew that marrying me was a duty he thought he had to go through. No doubt he enjoyed my company, and my body, but if he really loved me, he wouldn't want to marry me like this.
The next day Nora turned up with an armful of magazines with elegant brides on the front covers. And I realised it wasn't going to go away.
"What's going on?"
"You're getting married on Wednesday."
My eyes widened and my jaw hinged open of its own accord.
"Wednesday? This is ridiculous. There has to be another way to keep me safe." Garrett didn't need to do this to prove a point. I was safe now, wasn't I? And I’d be safer if I went home and got out of his life entirely.
I winced at the sight of the pearly white dresses. My forehead was coming up like an impressionist sunset. The only kind of bride I'd look like was Frankenstein's.
Nora pressed her lips together thinly, and her head tilted in clear disagreement. "Look, I understand that this is all probably a bit strange, but what your parents did is not something that anyone here is going to let go. And they like a good vendetta. So there's effectively a price on your head. Your name is on a hit list. And the only way to get it off that list, is to make it clear that you're under someone else's protection who's bigger and badder than the people out to get you."
"I get it. That's Garrett. He already explained how much sense it makes."
Getting to know him the way I had, it was hard to make that version of him coincide with the reputation he had in the Dublin underworld. When he'd rescued me, I'd seen a flicker of it, but I was sure there were far darker things in his past. Things he'd done that would make my blood curdle, but to me he was a gentleman and I wanted it to stay that way, with as much distance between us and that other world as possible.
Nora sat down on the bed with a sigh and she reached to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"That does sound a lot like something my bonehead uncle would say." She tilted her head. "But the thing is, Kaitlin, he wouldn't have asked you if he didn't mean it. Trust me on that. He's a traditionalist."
I wanted to believe her, but until I heard it from him that was going to be difficult. Did it really matter? I could make him love me. Over time. I already knew we were great together. He'd have to let me in sooner or later.
I had two choices: go back to the States and never even have a chance at the life with him I'd been dreaming about, or take a chance and make him love me. I drew a breath and pulled on a broad smile for her. "Okay. Sure. I'll marry him if he really thinks this is the only way."
Nora stared at me for a beat longer before she seemed to accept that that was about as enthusiastic as I was going to get.
"Trust me, Kaitlin. He loves you. He's just totally inept when it comes to letting people know. Now. Irish weddings are a big deal. You can't just go turning up for the ceremony and having a meal and some drinks and thinking that's all fine and dandy. Your guests are going to expect at least a full twenty four hours of celebrations."
My eyes widened. "Twenty four hours?" I could only imagine how expensive this charade was going to turn out to be. And it was a charade. It had to be. There was no way that Garrett could have meant he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Not on a whim like that when we barely knew each other. Nora was wrong. She had to be.
"At least."
No matter how attracted to him I was, and how innately right it felt being with him, I had to remember that it wasn't real.
Garrett was gorgeous and amazing. He was the suave, sophisticated guy that I'd always been fascinated with, but a million times better, because he was real. Except, it wasn't real. This was all the same kind of protective bullshit that had driven my Dad to set up a trust fund in the first place. Garrett didn't want me, he wanted to keep his best friend's daughter from being killed. Well he'd done that. There was no more debt to pay.
Somewhere down the line, once things had settled down and we'd sorted dad's business out and I could go back home, I knew this was going to come to an end. Even if I didn't want it to.
"Great." I smiled, but it was difficult to make any enthusiasm enter my voice. This wasn't what I'd planned when I got on the plane out of San Francisco.
"First thing's first. The engagement party's tonight."
I flicked through the magazines Nora handed me numbly. This wasn't about creating a perfect day, it was about making sure everyone in Dublin knew that I was Brannigan's one, that he owned me, and there would be hell to pay if I was touched.
"Of course it is."
CHAPTER 32
Kaitlin
Despite my misgivings, I had to admit that when Garrett decided to throw a party, he pulled out all the stops.
A team had descended on the apartment before I'd finished my morning coffee and they'd been working tirelessly, putting up decorations and setting up the bar, stocking the fridge with more wine and champagne and beer than I would have thought possible.
And now everyone was here and the lights were down low the place looked even more like something out of a lifestyle magazine, milling with smartly dressed people having polite conversation.
And a whole hoard of figures from the Dublin underworld that I was doing my best to ignore.
As always, Garrett was the most handsome man in the room. As awkward as I'd felt about this party, I loved being on his arm, knowing what a stunning couple we made. The cut of his suit was tailored perfectly to his body and I'd been working myself into quite the frenzy imagining all the things we could get up to while he was still wearing it, once we were alone together.
But there was a whole lot of party to get through first.
"I'd like to propose a toast." Kilpatrick held his glass high in the air. Everyone in the room had th
eir attention firmly on him. Even Tiernan, who I'd been watching stick close to him all evening.
Whatever Garrett said about the two of them doing what he wanted, I didn't have a good feeling about any of this.
"To the man who brought us all together!"
"To the man who brought us all together!" Over the chink of glasses, I heard Tiernan laughing and the sound made my skin crawl. I kept thinking about how he must have ordered his boys to kidnap me, knowing full well what they were going to do, and how passively he'd called them off, like it was only a matter of delay before they got what they were really after.
This was only the engagement party. There were two more nights of the man's company to endure and I wasn't sure I could stay civil, no matter how many times Garrett said I had to.
I wanted him and Kilpatrick as far away from us as possible. I hated knowing that I was one of the only unarmed people in the room, and that if something went down, the chances weren't good for me getting out alive.
But I trusted Garrett. After this whole charade, I wouldn't have to have those fears any longer. That's what he'd promised. That's why I was here.
Pulling on my best smile, I picked up one of the champagne bottles and started doing the hostess duties that fell to me.
"Thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate you being here." I'd said those lines three dozen times to total strangers and my smile was starting to crack, but it would be over soon.
I didn't like the charade of all this. It was for everyone else. The whole engagement was a sham put on for all of them, when all I wanted was something real between Garrett and me. But in this city, that was never going to happen.
I slipped out to the roof terrace to clear my head. I wanted everyone gone. Especially Tiernan's men. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what they'd wanted to do to me on that warehouse floor, and it scared me that for all I knew I'd just shaken hands with all of them. I didn't know if I could get used to being by Garrett's side and always knowing how precarious our position was, and how nasty the men around us could get unless Garrett kept a firm hold on the upper hand.
I took a deep breath, looking out over what had become my favourite view of the city. I could see the spires of St Stephens and further into the city I knew that Trinity College lay over the river. I'd been to so many places I'd never thought I'd see with Garrett as my tour guide, and once this wedding fiasco was over, I'd have my freedom back to explore the rest of it. Or leave, if I wanted to.
But I didn't want to. Despite all the drama and all the fear, I couldn't see myself being anywhere but at Garrett's side. We'd make the boxing gym franchise a reality together, and maybe we'd still be tangled up in the underworld of the city, but there wasn't anything we could do about that.
Garrett was a good man, and he'd do whatever he could to keep me out of it, just like I knew he'd shielded Nora her whole life.
The hiss of the terrace door sliding open alerted me to two of our guests joining me. I swore under my breath, and stepped out of view, just around the corner, hoping they wouldn't see me when I realised it was the two big men themselves. Tiernan and Kilpatrick. I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than stand there and be nice to either of them.
I pressed myself against the wall, shrinking back into the shadows, enjoying the coolness against my bare back where my dress swooped down to a deep V.
"That man was getting on my last nerve. The cheek of him." Kilpatrick was puffing a cigar, and the thick noxious smoke made me want to gag, no matter how expensive it was supposed to be. I bristled at the thought of him scattering ash all over my roof terrace.
Mine.
It sure felt like that, and given I was marrying the man who owned it, it was.
"It won't be an issue much longer."
"D'you get it all sorted?"
"Don't insult me Kilpatrick. Of course I did."
I heard the chink of their glasses knocking together. "Cheers. Here's to a big surprise for the pair of them."
Tiernan's laugh rumbled out of him and I fought the urge to shudder. Whatever surprise he was planning, I knew for certain I didn't want it.
I waited impatiently for them to go back inside, my skin started to get goosebumps from the cold. My slinky, pale silver dress wasn't exactly the warmest thing I could have been wearing.
Finally, they left, and I waited another minute before I followed. The pair of them creeped me out and I had no desire to be alone with them, but coming inside to a room full of strangers was no better. I wanted the lot of them to leave. There were too many eyes on me that I didn't recognise and too many that I thought I did from being tied up in the warehouse.
I wanted to drag Garrett up to our bedroom and remind them all this was our apartment. Make them feel like they'd outstayed their welcome. I'd had enough of playing nice with homicidal maniacs.
Across the room, Garrett was propping up the bar, chatting to another man I didn't know and didn't care to.
He smiled at the sight of me and his arm opened out to draw me in against his side.
"You alright, darlin'? This is Kaitlin. My beautiful bride to be."
I smiled, unwilling to let anyone else in on my discomfort. "Hi."
Up on my tip toes, my lips hovered by Garrett's ear lobe and my voice came out in a hushed whisper. "I want you to tie me up."
Slowly, I slid my hand inside his jacket pocket and his whole body turned tense, muscles coiled beneath my hand. "There are too many creeps here and I'm sick of playing nice for them. When they all leave I want you to tie me up and fuck me until the only thing being tied up makes me think of is you."
CHAPTER 33
Garrett
As soon as I closed the door behind the last of the guests, Kaitlin was all over me. I responded fiercely to the pull of her body against mine, throbbing hard in seconds. She'd had me popping a boner in front of everyone earlier, but there was nothing I could have done about it. When she talked dirty with that innocent mouth of hers, looking the way she did, the primal needs of my body took over.
After this, there wasn't going to be anything that got between us. I'd made sure of that with my deals with Kilpatrick and Tiernan. As precarious as they were, thrusting me further into the world I'd been trying to get out of, I would have made the same deals ten times over if it meant I got to have Kaitlin to myself.
She led me over to the couch and I kissed her bruised face, feeling my anger flare all over again at what they'd done to her.
"Tie me up," She whispered again, just like she had at the party, right in front of the man I was trying to interest in my boxing gym franchise. She held far more sway with me than he did anyway.
My cock twitched hard, bucking against the confines of my suit trousers, but I shook my head. "We don't need any of that. I just want you."
She kissed me again, sucking my lower lip into her mouth and she looped her legs around me. She didn't need to do that for me to know she had me hooked. I'd fallen for her hook, line and sinker. She was worth more to me than everything I'd spent my life working towards, and I'd put it all aside if it meant she got to be mine forever.
"Garrett, please. I want this so badly."
"I don't have any handcuffs." I grazed kisses down her throat as she arched her neck, stroking down the length of her body. Her breasts fit perfectly in my hands and I let my tongue trail a line down between them as I cupped them, squeezing my fingers into her flesh. I'd had her so many ways and I planned to have her in so many more.
The first time we were together, I'd used my tie but something told me she didn't want anything so gentle tonight.
"Rope?"
I looked up, a little startled by how desperate for this she was. Her face was flushed and her body heaved with every panting breath as she squirmed beneath me. "Don't you have some rope?"
I let out a heavy breath, full of frustration as I forced myself away from her. "Jaysus woman." I shook my head, fighting to keep the amusement off my face. "You're going to make me go down
to the boot of my car in the middle of the night with an erection the size of your pretty little arm." There was no doubt in my mind I was going to do it. A tow rope was the closest thing to what she wanted that I had. At least within a five minute radius, anyhow.
I stood up, tucking my shirt back in, still shaking my head at her. "You'd better be wearing nothing but that smile of yours, spread out in the middle of the floor waiting for me when I get back."
Kaitlin bit her lip, her smile glowing out from her beautiful face and she stretched luxuriously on the sofa, arms raised above her head.
Dad's Irish Mafia Friend (A Man Who Knows What He Wants Book 110) Page 18