“What kind of choices?” she asked suspiciously.
“You’re gonna have to choose whose side you’re on, your mom’s or mine.”
“I was never on anyone’s side,” she protested.
“Oh, yes, you were. When it came time to choose sides, you always took hers.”
“That’s not true!”
“It is, El, and you know it. You stood in church before God and all our friends, and you promised to stick with me no matter what—sickness, health, for richer or poorer—but in the end you listened to your mom. You chose her over me, and all because of something you imagined. A phone number and a message and some pictures that didn’t tell the whole story.”
Ella shoved her plate away, no longer hungry. In fact, she felt slightly ill. Tears were sneaking into her eyes now, turning Jake’s face to a blur. “They told enough.”
“Jen was never interested in me. Those pictures are bogus.”
Ella looked at him in disgust. Was he still insisting on that same tired story?
She got up to leave but he caught her arm. “Come and hear the band play the song I wrote for you tomorrow night. Meet this other woman you were so sure I was hot for.”
She chewed on her lip, torn.
“At least give me that, El. Let me prove I never cheated on you.”
She frowned. “Why now?” What was the point?
“Because I want you to know the truth. Hell, I should’ve done this back when everything first hit the fan, but I was mad. And proud, too proud to beg. But I’ve come to realize that my pride isn’t worth a damn. I’d rather have you. So will you come? Will you do that much for me?”
All right. She could do that much. She nodded.
He smiled. “Good.” Then he nudged her plate back toward her. “Tiny will love this, but I made it for you.”
They finished their dinner in silence. She half expected him to bring out the eggnog, try to kiss her, something, but instead he simply said, “Why don’t you go watch some TV? I’ll clean up in here.”
“I think I’ll take Tiny for a walk,” she said. Tiny needed the exercise and she had a lot to process.
She had even more to process Friday night at the Red Barn. She felt awkward joining the other women at the band’s usual table. These women had stuck with their men. She’d been the defector.
“Hi, Ella,” Larry’s girlfriend, Chrissie, greeted her. “Glad you’re back.”
She wasn’t back exactly. She was just…here. Sort of. Not much had changed since the good old days when she’d come and hung out on the weekends. Pretty much the same crowd of cowboys and farmers inhabited the place. The old hardwood floor was still scuffed and scarred, the table lamps were still cheap and the bar was still hoppin’.
There was one small change at the band table, though. A new member had joined Chrissie’s and Guy’s wives, Taylor. This woman had to be Tim’s new lady, but Ella had a hard time imagining him with this tough-looking customer. Her hair was cut short and she wore jeans and a black T-shirt and she was the only woman at the table who hadn’t bothered with makeup. She wasn’t fat by any means but she wasn’t the petite girlie-girl type Tim normally went for.
“This is Tanya,” Chrissie said. “Jen’s partner.”
Partner. Partner? Partner! “You mean… I mean…” Ella could feel her face flaming.
“You mean what?” Tanya asked, her eyes narrowing.
“I mean, I thought…” Ella put her hand to her mouth. She was going to cry, she was going to laugh, she was going to…remember her manners. “Oh, my gosh, it is so great to meet you.”
Tanya looked at her like she was nuts.
Jake’s voice drifted over to her from the bandstand. “And now I want to play a song I wrote for someone very special. It’s called ‘To Find Heaven.’”
Ella fell onto the chair next to Chrissie and let the song wash over her.
“‘Sometimes this world is a hell of a place. And heaven feels so far away. But every time I’ve held you and you’ve made me come undone. That’s the closest I have come.’” As he sang Jake looked at her with eyes so full of love she had to wonder what madness had possessed her to think they didn’t belong together. And give their love—almost give their love—away to the green-eyed monster.
“‘I’m close to heaven with you, closer than I’ve ever come. There’s no hell I won’t walk through to find heaven, girl, with you,’” Jake finished.
They had gone through hell, thanks to her. The band was just coming off break, and a moment later Jake was at her side, hugging her. “Hey, El. I see you’ve met Tanya.”
Tanya didn’t seem all that happy about it. Once more Ella’s face sizzled. She managed to nod.
Now his keyboard player Jen had come up beside him. “And this is Jen.”
“Hi,” Jen said. She sat down, placed an arm around Tanya’s shoulders and smirked at Ella. “I’m your competition. Nice to meet you.”
“Still think I was cheating on you?” Jake asked softly.
What a fool she’d been. What a stupid, insecure, untrusting fool. “Oh, Jake!” She threw her arms around him and kissed him.
“Get a room,” Larry cracked.
“You are such a jerk,” his girlfriend said, swatting his arm.
Not half as much a jerk as Ella had been.
“But what about those pictures the detective took?” she asked later as they drove home.
“The detective your mom hired?”
The residual bitterness in his voice made her feel bad that she’d allowed Mims to overstep her boundaries. Still, “You’ve got to admit it looked bad.”
“To someone with a suspicious mind,” Jake said, not willing to cut either her or Mims any slack. “You remember in one of those pictures I was carrying some papers. Lyric sheets.”
So he’d said. I was just dropping off some lead sheets.
She remembered what she’d said in response. “And it takes an hour to drop off lead sheets?”
That was when Jake had blown up. That was when everything had blown up.
“Yes,” she said now.
“Well, I was. Just like I told you. Jen asked me if I had a minute to go over a couple of songs, which we did. Then she started crying, told me she was having problems with Tanya. They’d had a big fight about twenty minutes before I showed up. All I did was listen and then tell her everything would be okay. When I left she hugged me and said thanks. So, like I told you, it didn’t mean a thing.”
The damning picture had been a thank-you hug. One picture was, indeed, worth a thousand words. And this time those words all needed to be “I’m sorry.”
“I should have told you back then that Jen wasn’t into guys but, like I said, I was mad. And you know what? Even if I had told you, you wouldn’t have believed me.”
Much as she hated to admit it, he was probably right. By the time the Jen incident had happened, her insecurities had hardened into a wall of mistrust.
“El, there will always be women throwing themselves at me. That goes with the territory if a guy makes it in this business. But there’s only one woman I want, only one woman I’ll ever want, and that’s you.” He reached over and took her hand and she gave his a squeeze. “Hmm,” he said thoughtfully, “I wonder if there’s a song in that.”
* * *
Saturday morning Axel called Ella. “I thought you’d like to go to the tree-lighting ceremony tonight. I’ll come by the shop and pick you up.”
“Sorry, I can’t,” she said.
“Oh.” He sounded shocked. “Why not?”
She grinned at Jake, who was standing next to her in the kitchen, flipping pancakes for their breakfast. “I’m back with Jake.”
There was a moment of shocked silence on the phone. Then, “You can’t be serious.”
She smiled at her ex-husband, who was grinning from ear to ear. “I’m afraid I am. But thanks for the offer.”
“Ella, I don’t know where your head is,” Axel said.
She di
dn’t, either, actually, but she knew where her heart was.
“Sorry,” she said. “It wouldn’t have worked out between us.” She still hated jazz.
* * *
The family had just come home from church when Cass’s cell phone rang. It was her stepfather, Ralph. Probably calling from the airport. They were due to fly out today and had a layover in Detroit.
“How’s it going?” she asked. Neither Ralph nor her mother was particularly fond of flying, but Mom had said nothing was going to keep her from coming up for her granddaughter’s wedding.
“Not so good,” Ralph said.
Cass could feel a dark cloud creeping up on her sunny Sunday. “What’s wrong?” she asked, dreading the answer.
“Your mother had a fall.”
The cloud shot out thunder and lightning. Cass fell onto the nearest chair. “Oh, no.”
“What’s wrong?” Dani asked, sitting opposite her.
“Grandma fell,” Cass said, then asked Ralph, “Is she hurt?” Dumb question. Of course she was hurt or Ralph wouldn’t have been calling.
“She broke her wrist. She has to have surgery on Friday.”
The day before the wedding. Poor Mom. Poor me, Cass added as a new, more selfish thought occurred. There went her support system. She’d been counting on her mother to help her hold it together while dealing with Mason and his family. Now she was on her own.
She chided herself for being so egocentric and asked if she could speak to her mother.
“I’m afraid she’s with the doctor right now,” Ralph said. “We’ll keep you posted, though.”
“Thanks,” Cass said. “Tell her I love her. We’re going to miss you guys.”
“Not as much as we’re going to miss you,” Ralph assured her.
“So what happened?” Dani asked as Cass set aside her cell.
“Grandma broke her wrist. She has to have surgery on Friday.”
Dani looked horrified. “She’s not coming to the wedding?”
“She can’t travel the day after surgery,” Cass said.
“It won’t be the same without her.”
Now Willie was back from the kitchen (always his first destination after church) with a bag of chips. “When are we eating?”
“It’s not all about you,” Dani told him. Then to her mother, she said, “Maybe Grandma will be well enough to fly by Saturday.”
No, it wasn’t all about Willie, but it certainly was all about the bride-to-be. Cass leveled a look at her daughter, who had the grace to blush. “Even if she was up for it, they wouldn’t get here in time.”
Dani fell back against the couch cushions. “This blows.”
There was an understatement. Cass patted her leg. “Don’t worry. We’ll have plenty of family for your big day.” Half of them unwanted.
“I know. I just feel bad Grandma won’t be here.”
Not half as bad as I feel. “I know, and I know she’s disappointed. But Uncle Drew will be recording it, so at least she’ll get to see you walking down the aisle later on.”
Dani’s scowl lessened to a frown. “Poor Grandma. Gosh, I really wanted her there.”
Cass gave Dani a hug. “But the most important people will be there—you and Mike.”
That coaxed a smile out of her daughter.
“Now, come on, let’s make dinner,” Cass suggested. “Amber, Willie, that means you, too.”
“Aw, Mom,” Willie protested. “I hate cooking.”
“But you like eating, and if you want to eat well when you’re out in the big bad world, you’d better know how to cook. Anyway, it’s tacos, and that’s easy.”
“Tacos! All right!”
“It’s your turn to grate the cheese,” Amber informed him. “I had to last time.”
Willie groaned. “I suck at grating cheese. I always scrape my fingers.”
“Be a good sport,” Cass told him, and then told herself the same thing. Having her mother missing from Dani’s wedding party had hardly been part of her plan, but—as she’d told her kids—not all recipes turned out as you planned them.
She said as much when her brother called to console her.
“Wow, sis, you’re sure taking this well,” he said.
She was sure pretending to take it well, anyway.
By the time her friends arrived for their Sunday chick-flick night, she was tired of pretending.
“Not having your mom here for such an important event, that’s awful,” Ella lamented.
“Dani’s really disappointed,” Cass said. “And I’ve got to tell you, even though I put on a good face for her, I’m not doing so well, either. I was counting on Mom being here to help me get through this.”
“We’ll get you through,” Samantha promised.
“Absolutely,” Charley seconded.
“Speaking of getting through things, how are you doing?” Cecily asked her.
Charley’s eyes turned steely. “I’m doing just fine. I’ve decided to become a man-hater. Too bad I’ve got to work with one rebuilding the restaurant.”
“Who’d you end up hiring?” Samantha asked.
“Masters Construction.”
“Ethan Masters?” Samantha cocked an eyebrow.
“He’s new in town, isn’t he?” Cecily asked.
Samantha nodded. “And newly single from what I hear. I met him at Bavarian Brews the other day.”
“Quite a hunk of beefcake from what I hear,” Cass said, looking speculatively at Charley.
“Hey, you go for him if you want,” she said, holding up a hand. “Me, I’m so done with men it isn’t even funny.”
“Never say never,” Cecily said.
“Yeah, you never know what might happen,” put in Ella, who was beaming.
Cass looked at her speculatively. “Okay, you’ve been acting like a woman who owns a diamond mine ever since you got here. What gives?”
“Well.” After a dramatic pause, she announced, “Jake and I are getting back together.”
This produced squeals of delight and hugs all around.
“You two belong together,” Cecily said.
“That’s what we decided.” Ella dropped her gaze, suddenly self-conscious. “You know, I was wrong about Jake. I mean, yes, he’s a flirt, but he never cheated on me.”
“I smell a story in there somewhere,” Samantha said.
Ella’s face turned pink. “I met the keyboard player Friday. She has someone. I guess this is where you all say I told you so.”
“We wouldn’t dream of it,” Cass said.
“But we did tell you,” Cecily added with a wicked grin.
“I’m glad Cupid is being good to you,” Charley said. “Jake really is a nice guy.”
Ella nodded. “Now, if we can just figure out a way for him to make a little more money.”
“You’ve been able to live okay on what you guys earn,” Cecily pointed out.
“But you’re right to be thinking about how you can earn more,” her sister said. “Especially if you want kids....”
“It would be hard to raise a family on what we’re making,” Ella admitted, and the pink in her face deepened.
“A family?” Cecily looked at her speculatively.
“I mean, we’ll probably end up having kids,” Ella stammered.
“You’ll figure it out,” Charley said. “One thing’s for sure, you’ll have lots of aunties to help out.”
Poor Charley, Cass thought. It seemed she was auntie to half the babies in town, and the rare times she wasn’t at the restaurant, she was always watching someone’s kid. At the rate she was going, was she ever going to have children of her own? Cass hoped she would, hoped her friend wouldn’t give up on love.
She was in no position to encourage Charley to stay hopeful. She herself had given up years ago. Love was overrated.
It did produce children, though, and she’d gotten three good ones out of the bad deal she’d made with Cupid. And now she was about to add a son-in-law and, down the road, grandch
ildren. Everything was coming together for the wedding and it was going to be beautiful.
But as she watched Cecily’s movie pick of the week, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was going to wind up living the sequel.
18
Monday morning Ella met Mims at Bavarian Brews to make her big announcement. So far she was finding it difficult to work up the nerve.
“Ella, baby, what’s wrong?” Mims asked.
“Wrong? Nothing.”
Mims raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “You could have fooled me. You’re fidgeting. And you ordered decaf.”
Ella took a deep breath. “I have news.” And it was good news, so she shouldn’t be so nervous about telling her mother.
Mims smiled encouragingly. “Well, my darling, let’s hear it.”
“Jake and I are back together.”
A disapproving frown devoured her mother’s smile. “Ella, you can’t be serious.”
She’d never realized before how often she saw that frown. Ella lifted her chin. “I am.”
“After the way he’s behaved? Have you gone insane? My God, we need to find you a shrink.” She took her cell phone from her purse. “I’m calling Gregory and getting the name of his.”
“I’m not seeing a shrink and I’m not leaving Jake,” Ella said firmly. “You were wrong about him, Mims.”
Mims gave Ella her snootiest look, the one she reserved for incompetent store clerks. “Oh?”
“He wasn’t seeing that keyboard player.”
Now Mims looked heavenward as if praying for strength to deal with her obstinate daughter. “Ella. Baby. I don’t know what he said to you.”
“Everything those pictures didn’t. I was wrong not to give Jake a chance to tell the whole story.”
She’d wanted to believe her mother was right. She was already jealous of the attention Jake got from other women, already prone to suspicion when she found Jen’s note and phone number in his pocket. She’d had springs on her feet, ready to jump to conclusions. And once she had those incriminating pictures, she’d closed her mind and her heart to anything Jake had to say.
“Those pictures—”
Ella cut her off. “He wasn’t having an affair with that keyboard player. She has someone else.”
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