by Angel Lawson
“Your Fairy—the one from Talamh. You trust her?”
“With my life.”
“But you don’t trust her ideas?”
I tilt my head. Does she know about our conversation? I discreetly pinch my leg to confirm I’m sleeping and that this isn’t some elaborate dream.
“Ow,” Son-of-a—
“My Guardians have gotten better at peeking into your world.” She grimaces. “Dylan thinks that the closer the apocalypse gets to crossing other realms, the thinner the barriers are. My own dream woke me, and I knew I needed to find you.”
“I’m not doing it,” I tell her. “I won’t betray Miya or the gods that sent us here. We came together. We win or lose together.”
“Tell me,” she says, watching me closely. “Do you not have feelings for the Nephilim?”
My chest pings. “I like him. He’s loyal. Sometimes his humor amuses me.”
“Is there anything else?”
I don’t want to confess that I’ve noticed him watching me, that yes, there are moments that I feel close to him, when he was there for me despite the insanity of what we’re going through. “I also know he’s trying to prove something to his father, the bastard putting us through all of this torture.”
A small smile twists at her lips. “How many immortals do you know that willingly fight against their father over cross-realm domination. Do you really think he’s doing this to prove himself to Lucifer?”
“His father sold him out. He sacrificed him for his own greed.”
“And you gave him a purpose. A home.” Again, she cups her belly. “That kind of act creates something between people. A closeness. An understanding…”
A bond.
“What about Miya?” I almost hurt to say his name.
“This is war, Hildi, and these men, they’re your arsenal of weapons. Do you know that the guardians thought that only one of them was my true mate when I first arrived at the Nead? I had to decide between these men who was my going to be my partner for eternity. None of us realized it would be all of them. The gods do not always reveal their plans at the beginning of a journey…sometimes there are bigger things at play. The Nephilim may be one of those surprises.”
“What do I do? Just go in and tell him? Say...guess what? I think you’re one of my mates.”
She bends and winces, a flicker of pain crossing her face. “Morgan!” I lunge forward but remember we’re not in the same place or time.
She holds up her hand. “I’m fine. Just…whatever you do, make it fast. This baby is getting impatient, and I don’t want to bring her into the crossfire of the realms under siege.”
“Be careful,” I tell her. “And one way or the other, this ends soon.”
Her image fades away and when I blink, I find myself in the bed again, flat on my back, staring up at the low ceiling. I’m trying to process if what I’d just experienced was real or just a dream when I hear a knock on the door. Easing out of bed, I cross the small space and open it. I’m both surprised and not at who waits on the other side, and hold the door open so he can come in.
29
Rupert
The three of us sit across from one another, quiet. Defeated. No one has spoken since we went under deck, as though we were waiting for an idea to strike. None comes.
“I’ve got nothing,” I tell them. “Agis is…”
“Consumed by rage and paranoia,” Armin finishes.
“It’s like he lost Hildi once and is hellbent not to do it again.”
“Without Miya, things were dire. Without Agis, things are infinitely worse. We don’t win two men short.”
“That was an absolute, complete clusterfuck,” Marshal says. “We’re off balance and I don’t see how we get that back.”
Armin slowly nods. “We’ve fought together for so long. It was like missing an arm or something.”
I stare down at the table, mentally going over a million strategies from the past. None seem to fit here. My stomach tightens and a cool sweat pops up on my neck. When I shift uncomfortably, Marshal notices.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just…” I wipe my forehead, “feel strange.”
He and Armin share a glance before he asks, “What kind of strange?”
I close my eyes and a wave of emotion rolls over me. Concern, frustration, worry. An image of Morgan flits across my eyes, hugely pregnant, forehead creased with worry. My heart flips…well, no, not my heart, her heart? I try to listen, but I can only feel. I blink and focus back on the room.
“It’s Hildi,” I say and both men immediately rise. I shake my head. “She’s fine. Asleep I think, possibly dreaming about Morgan.”
“Sometimes those aren’t dreams. That’s how she got the book and rings.”
“I know. This is different though, Hildi is struggling with something and Morgan is guiding her through it.” I feel a painful ache in my chest that can only be described as heartbreak. “Losing Miya.”
“If Hildi is right about needing five of us to challenge Lucifer, losing Miya is a massive blow,” Armin says. “As it is, we can’t even get to Agis.”
“Anything else?” Marshal asks, leaning forward on his elbows. “Can you sense what she’s doing? Thinking?”
I’ve never tapped into Hildi intentionally, usually it just comes over me in nauseating waves. I’ve felt her desire before. I know when she’s with the other Immortals. When she’s scared or angry. “She’s worried,” I say, closing my eyes once more. “Well, conflicted may be a better term. She has to make a decision, and she’s unsure what to do.”
I drill deeper, trying to catch a thread of what she’s struggling with. Miya is certainly on her mind, as well as Agis, but neither of them seem to be the real issue. With my eyes closed I touch the ring on my finger and a spark shoots through me, like a cord hooking between my mind and hers, and I zip down the line. Suddenly I’m no longer in this room but in her brain. It’s then that I see what—no who—she’s focused on. It’s a shock, one that bolts through me, and I snap back to my body.
When I open my eyes Armin stares at me, while Marshal’s eyes are wide. “What happened? Where did you go?”
“Balance,” I say, which is not an answer to his question. “Christensen said from the beginning it was important. Hildi is the key to winning this war and we’re here to balance her. Without Miya she’s lacking roots to hold her upright. She’s missing some of the structure she needs to give her the strength she—no, we—need to recover Agis and to fight Lucifer.”
“So what? We need to get Miya?” Armin asks.
Marshal nods. “Do we even know where he is?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “This isn’t about Miya.”
“Then what are you talking about? Because you’re talking in riddles.” Marshal rolls his eyes, typically impatient.
“When the door closes, a window opens,” I say, paraphrasing Christensen. “This whole time the answer has been with us.”
“Riddles,” Marshal repeats. “Speak clearly.”
I sigh, forcing my brain and mouth on the same speed. “Hildi must find another person to bond to—to fill the gap that Miya left. It’s the only way.”
Armin frowns. “Another—”
“Immortal,” I add. I run my hand through my hair, a little annoyed I didn’t see this sooner, but the gods reveal things in their own time. “One that is already loyal to our cause.”
“Luke,” Marshal says, eyes brightening. “The Nephilim is part of this.”
“Part of her,” Armin adds. “Really, all of us.”
As soon as the words are spoken, they seem right, like a missing piece of a puzzle clicking into place.
It’s obvious what needs to be done for us to move forward, but will Hildi agree?
30
Luke
I stand in Hildi’s small cabin, shoulders slightly hunched due to my height and the low ceiling. Her eyes are wide, cheeks flushed, and from the rumpled bed, it’s obvious that I wo
ke her. What’s less obvious is why I’m here.
“I’m not sure why I’m here,” I admit. “One minute I was patrolling on the deck, wondering how we’re going to get out of this mess, and the next I’m knocking on your door.” I feel the urge to look away from the intensity of her eyes but force myself to hold them. “You were asleep. I’m sorry.”
“I wasn’t,” I reply. “A dream woke me up…or I think it was a dream.”
His eyebrow raises. “You think?”
“Sometimes, since I arrived at the Academy, I’ve found it difficult to always be certain.” I stare at the man in front of me. “This one was different.”
“How so?”
“It was about you.”
That comes as a surprise, yet…something drew me to her room. A feeling? A desire? No, it couldn’t be desire. I’d held back on that for some time now. I’d kept myself firmly in check. Hildi Axel, Valkyrie, and leader of this mission, is not mine to have.
“I-I…” I’m not okay with her scrutiny. It’s okay for me to know how I feel about her, but for her to know…that’s a different story. Her blue eyes burn into me and I cup the back of my neck. “I should go. I’m supposed to be on patrol.”
“Why are you here, Luke?” she asks, taking a step forward. The strings tying her vest together are loose and her leather pants hang low on her hips. “Why did you come to my cabin.”
“I don’t know,” I reply, swallowing thickly.
She reaches out and grabs a fistful of my shirt. “I think you do.”
She’s close. I can smell her scent, I can see the fullness of her lips, the swell of her breasts under the tight vest. The front of my pants tighten and my heart hammers in my chest. I can see that we can do this—I can have her if I want—and the gods know that I do.
But that’s the problem. The gods. The rulers of this game. My father.
But I shake my head and take a step back, peeling her fingers out of my shirt. “This isn’t real,” I tell her, making some distance. “It’s one of my father’s tricks. Sowing discord and confusion, distracting us from our task at hand. He sent you a dream, and he sent me down here. We’re still in the circle, we can’t trust that anything is real.”
She blinks, forehead creased. “What? No.”
“Yes, I…this is not right.” I glance over my shoulder, back down the hall. “If the guys find me in here, I’m a dead man, Hildi. There are lines that can’t be crossed, and my father knows that. He wants us at each other’s throats. He wants the Immortals caught up in the anger that runs through this place and me caught up…caught up in you. I can’t let that happen.”
I stumble back, managing to get the door opened, and escape down the hall, not stopping until I reach the fresh air on the deck. I steady myself on the railing and take a gulp of air, telling myself that I did the right thing. I could have had her but it would have been wrong.
It would have destroyed the mission.
And if there’s one thing I want more than the Valkyrie, it’s to destroy my father.
31
Hildi
Luke walks out and I’m left alone in the cabin. Rejection…ouch. It fucking hurts even if he may be right. Is this all just part of the magical force of the circle? Was my dream really just Lucifer getting into my head?
We hadn’t stayed in a circle this long before, and it’s pretty obvious that the control here is strong. I imagine the power used to manage Agis has to be incredibly forceful. It’s entirely likely we’re being manipulated too.
That doesn’t help the painful humiliation I feel right now. I fall back on the bed and curl up into a ball, pressing my face into the pillow. I’m still there when there’s another knock on the door.
“Go away,” I call, not up to facing Luke or really anyone else.
Whoever is out there does not follow directions well, because a few seconds later there’s another knock.
“Hildi,” a voice calls, “Can I come in?”
I sigh. Rupert. I have no problem with Rupert, but if I know him, he’s probably well aware of my level of embarrassment right now.
“Yes,” I reply, then cover my head with the pillow.
I hear the door open and close, the soft shuffle of feet and then feel the bed sink. A gentle hand touches my back.
“Did you draw the short straw?” I ask. “Is that why you’re here?”
“You’re…upset.”
“No shit,” I mumble against the mattress. “Could you feel it?”
“You’ve been in turmoil all night. First the dream, then Luke. Why did he leave?”
I roll slightly so I can see his handsome face. He picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. “The real question is why did he come?”
“Because he’s part of this,” he replies. “Right?”
“I thought so? That’s what Morgan told me, if you know, that was really Morgan.”
“You don’t think that was really her?”
“I think I’m really confused, Ru. I think that this place fucks with my head and that we’ve been in this realm for too long. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not.” I sigh. “Luke is certain any feelings I have for him, any inkling that he may be part of our relationship, is just a trick by his father to sow discord and chaos.”
Rupert looks thoughtful, thinking about what I’ve just said. It’s good that he’s the one that came to me. Gods know how the others would respond. That idea makes me sit up.
“Wait, you’re not upset about the idea of me and Luke together?”
He threads out fingers together. “This has been a long and strange journey, Hildi, one that has taught me and the other Immortals much about life and love. We’re part of something bigger, something that binds us all together. Your determination and perseverance are what showed me that.” He touches my chin. “You’re right, losing Miya leaves us weak. This has always been about finding power within balance—all the way back to when we located the key, to when you made each one of us fall for you. What we don’t know is that maybe Luke has always been part of this. Maybe the gods put him in our path long before we got to this realm.”
Warm anticipation spreads through my chest. He’s right, I’d bought into this role, this line of destiny, because I believed in Morgan and the Guardians. I believed in what we were doing, despite all the challenges. Lucifer’s trick is spreading doubt, clouding our minds, confusing truth. I lean forward and kiss Rupert on the mouth. His fingers push back into my hair, tugging me forward. The bond we share loosens and expands, fear slipping away into something braver.
“Go get him,” he tells me, nose touching mine.
I nod and wrap my arms around him, already feeling stronger. We part and I head straight to the deck. I find Luke quickly, staring out at the castle, jaw clenched tight. A sword hangs from his hand. When he hears my footsteps he spins, weapon ready. He lowers it when he sees my face.
“What are you doing—” he starts, but I launch myself at him, not wanting his mind, his worries, or his fears to interfere with what I’m going about to do.
His body stiffens as I slam into him, and his lips part in confusion. I cup the sides of his face in mine and kiss him—I just kiss him—not gentle, not hard…just incredibly, indecipherably right.
It takes him a moment to react, his body ridid. He’s afraid, I know that. Of his father, of his mind, of the Immortals. I lick into his mouth and slide my hands behind his head, whispering, “This is the right thing.”
Whatever’s been holding him back slowly begins to crumble, and his hands cinch around my waist. His tongue reacts to mine and his responding kiss starts slow, then shifts, growing deeper, stronger, until…
Crack!
A bolt of lightning zig-zags through the air, sending a current of electricity coursing between us. We jolt apart, but I feel the current in the center of my chest, coiling round and around the already existing bond. Luke looks at me with hooded, lust-filled eyes. Thunder rolls around the ring of the eye, vibrating against
my bones.
Luke reaches out for me and yanks me back against his chest. He tilts my chin upward. “Real?”
I feel the raised bulge in his pants, and I have no more uncertainty. “Very, very real.”
Again, his mouth crashes against mine, while his fingers dig into my skin. Suddenly it’s not only just real, but it’s consuming; like a roaring fire. My only thought is how did I not see this before? See him? I’d been so focused on my mission that I’d missed out on what was right in front of me.
The first drop of rain lands on my cheek, then another slides between our noses. That’s the last warning before the deluge begins, sheets of rain lashing at the two of us. I move away but his arms wrap tight around me and he lifts me off my feet. “You’re not going anywhere,” he says, “well, at least without me.”
I smile, the gaping, psychic wounds from the day starting to heal, and let him carry me off the deck. If Lucifer thought he could stop this from happening, from the fulfillment of destiny, he’s less powerful than I thought.
32
Luke
One kiss was all it took.
One.
That’s how I knew Hildi was right. I’d tried to pretend my desire for her was simply that—desire. I’m male. I’m young. She’s beautiful. Why wouldn’t I want her? But the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach had been growing day by day—growing larger even when she wasn’t around. And there was no doubt that other women did not make me feel the same way.
Then she kissed me.
Gods, it was like I was suddenly, truly alive.
Now we stand before one another, shivering just inside, soaked from the rain. My hands tremble; I’d like to say it’s from the cold, but it’s from being with her—from the heat of her mouth, to the soft touch of her hands.
I’d known but I didn’t see.
I’d felt but I ignored.
I’d wanted but abstained.
Not anymore.