by L Johnson
“More than anything?”
“More than anything,” He shrugged his shoulders.
Chapter Twelve
Cypress
Grocery shopping, I had dreaded it for months but here I was laundering the aisle with Lucas. The aisles were packed with food that was not currently in my budget and my chaperone was someone who didn’t believe in budgets. I looked at the list. Eggs, Bacon, Milk, Rice, Water. There was absolutely no way in hell I could squeeze a three-dollar jar of pickles in unless I skipped McDonalds tomorrow. “I can afford just one jar.” I mumbled.
“I have told you more than once that I can buy your damned food.” Lucas was emerged in his phone but it hadn’t stopped him from voicing his complaints.
“I’ve told you that I don't want you to buy my food. I would much rather find a better job. I hardly even get to work. Had it not been for my savings account, I would be buried in debt.” College sucked and bills sucked.
“Why struggle?” Lucas stopped mid step and turned his head to me. “I have told you several times that there is no reason for you to struggle.”
“Don't start with me today Lucas.”
“What, I am asking a general question? You struggle because of pride.”
“Shut up,” I rolled my eyes. The shirt he wore was loose on his chest, but his arms fit snugly. It accented them perfectly. My eyes trace down his body at the pants and how they fit him perfectly. My hormones wanted nothing more than to take him to the house and not leave for a few hours but there was no time for that. “When are you leaving for Ireland?”
“I don't know. Callum said something about coming here for a while. He was thinking about moving to New York. But I was thinking that I would like to go there for Spring Break in a few months. Maybe for summer vacation. I don’t know. Why?”
“That sounds good. I was just wondering. I know that you miss your cousin and your family there.”
“I miss them a ton. But I think that they can wait. Perhaps you can come with me and we could christen Ireland.” Lucas wrapped his arms around me and kissed the nape of my neck. We walked through the store for a few steps and then reached for the pickle jar. “Why are you eating pickles?”
“Because I like pickles. I had three like jars last week. And then for some reason I decided that I needed some more. Pickles are like the Gods of Cucumbers.”
“Gods of Cucumbers, good grief Cypress.” He chuckled and stood back. “You really have a strange addiction.” He stopped walking. “When was your last cycle?”
“Last cycle, Lucas, are you crazy. There is no way in hell I could be pregnant.”
“Well answer my question and perhaps I could just be at ease.”
“I don’t know; I guess it was closer to December.”
“Good grief, what in the hell do you mean closer to December. It’s practically February woman.” He griped. “You don’t keep track of your cycle.
“I'll check and you stop fussing at me. I fussed at you for months to wear a damned condom.” My heart thumped as I pushed him playfully out of the way. Shit, all the times I complained to him about condoms and now I was the one who had been so careless to lose track of my stupid period. I put the pickles back on the shelf.
“Get the damn pickles.” He put them back in the buggy. “Woman, dear Jesus must you make everything difficult.”
“You better watch your little snappy attitude. What is wrong with you today?”
“I can't have privacy anymore.” Lucas pointed to the woman in black. It was apparent that she had followed us around the store for more than an hour. I thought she was store security. “I mean, sorry.”
“Well, don't take it out on me.” I put the pickles in the cart and stared at him. It was weird that he had someone from a government agency tracking him. I refused to think about it. I refused to act like I cared about it. “Are you freaking out about the test?”
“I'm not worried about the test. I am a pull out champion.”
“Ugh stop talking,” I rolled my eyes. “Why didn't you pull your hair up today?”
The usual man bun he rocked fit him, but the sexiness of his curls down and falling constantly in his face was overwhelming. “I don't like rocking the same style as my girlfriend all the time.”
“I like it. This is sexy too.”
“Thank you.” He picked up a can of artichokes. “I am cooking tonight.”
“What are you cooking?”
“Food, you need to eat.”
“I think I'm gonna eat a frozen meal. Lasagna.”
“Come on, woman. I am trying to shower you with my love and you keep pulling out a damned umbrella. I said I was cooking and you are gonna eat.”
“Fine, but I don't eat artichokes. You are so bossy today.”
“Beggars can't be choosers.”
“Well, I'm not begging you.”
“I love you.” he tossed the artichokes in the cart and started dancing to whatever the random music was that blasted over the speakers. He bounced and slung his hair. “This is my song!” He danced playfully around me and I nodded my head. “Dance with me.”
“No,” I laughed. “You’re insane.”
“I'm a mad man. Have I not told you?” He sways with me and kissed my neck. The two older ladies smiled at us like we were in some kind of movie. His lips grazed my entire neck, biting occasionally and I felt my knees grow weak.
“Stop,” I whispered.
“Pardon me,” Lucas kissed my hand. “I forgot where we were for a moment. We should go home so I can forget we have neighbors.”
“You're pardoned.” I laughed and we made our way through the aisles. “And no, we’ve been cooped up in that house all day.”
“You look better.” Asher said from in front of us.
I glanced at Lucas and he didn't look like he wanted to kill him. Something had changed in their relationship and it almost weirded me out. But then again, I was just really happy that he had a friend besides Mark. “Hey Asher, how have you been?”
“Perfect,” Asher looked at Lucas. “I called you yesterday.”
Lucas shrugged his shoulders. “I was gonna call you back then I fell asleep and basically forgot. But I had every intention to call you back.”
“Sure you did.” Asher laughed. “How have you been doing Cypress?”
“Great, just ready to graduate and finally not have to worry about school.”
“Aren’t we all.” Asher nodded at me. “Have you talked to Mark?”
“I talked to him earlier, but he disappeared last night. He does that.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed. Well, Whitney wants to have some company over for dinner and I thought about you two. I invited Mark already and now I’m asking you. You and Cypress should join us for dinner this afternoon.”
“We're cooking ourselves.” Lucas held up the artichokes in an attempt to ignore the offer.
“We haven't made solid plans.” I added. “I would actually like to get out for once. He keeps me locked away in that damn loft like a prisoner.”
“A prisoner of love.” Lucas grimaced. “What are you cooking Ash?”
“You think you two would want to try some stuffed Bell Peppers? She is cooking those and some kind of side. And I’m making dessert.”
“If you swear that you’re only doing dessert.”
“Yes, that sounds wonderful.” I pushed at Lucas.
“What is a stuffed bell pepper?” Lucas sounded disgusted.
“Dude are you gonna complain the entire time?
“Fine, tonight at what time?”
“It'll start about 8.”
“Great, we will be there and we will bring a nice wine.”
“A fair wine,” Lucas corrected.
“Mark is coming with Shia.”
“Have I missed something?” I looked at the two of them. “Why are you two all of a sudden friends and why haven't you told me?”
“Surprise your boyfriend made a new friend. Asher we will see you toni...”
>
“Asher! I found the perfect bell peppers. I just need some… oh sorry.”
“This is Lucas and Cypress.” He grabbed her hand. “This is my girlfriend Whitney.”
Whitney smiled at the both of us. “I am so happy to hear about you two coming to dinner! He hasn't really had a friend here since he moved.”
“I wonder why?” Lucas mumbled. “He can be a nosey bastard.”
“And you can be an obnoxious dick. I guess we were made for each huh” Asher said not fazed by Lucas or his remarks. I was proud of him for some reason. He never seemed like the type actually stand for himself.
“He is a great guy. We are excited about dinner. Should I bring a dessert wine or a dinner wine?”
“Um either or, I don't know the difference.” Whitney chuckled.
Lucas shifted uncomfortably. “Have you talked to Mark today?”
“Yeah, I wouldn't know he was coming if I didn't.”
“He's an ass.”
“Okay, so we will see you tonight around 8.” Whitney said.
“My thoughts exactly.” I tugged his shirt. “When did you two become friends?” I asked as we walked away. “I mean I am happy to see you have friends. It is weird to see you be nice to someone besides Mark. Mark doesn't even deserve it. I mean most of the time you two are equal dicks to one another.”
“Mark is my brother. Asher is a friend. The end baby,” He grabbed a cheap wine and placed it in the cart. “And you aren't drinking any until you take the test.”
“Oh, hold up, it can't be like that already. I haven’t even pissed on a stick yet Luke.”
“Like what? Caring about my child having alcohol poisoning?”
“There will be no bossing me if I am pregnant. I want total control of the situation and I want to make sure that you understand it.”
“Even if you aren't pregnant, baby, I have control. You just don't know it.”
“Shut up Luke.”
Asher
January had flown by and I had become friends with Lucas and Mark. More of Mark, I was sure that Mark tolerated me more than friended me. I would settle for it. It felt better now that I knew that I was not on his to kill list. It was weird that in some way I had someone to talk to when shit with sideways. I normally kept everything bottled inside.
The drive home had been awkward and quiet. Whitney did not particularly care for Lucas. I could tell by the way she slammed the pots in my sink and while she banged cabinets like it was her home. “Whit.”
“What?” She said with a weird edge to her voice.
“Are you going to slam shit the entire time?”
“I am.” The pots clanged in the sink once more and I made my way over to her. I snatched the light green pot from her. “Calm down. What is your problem?”
“I thought you were just going to invite Mark and his girlfriend. Now you have me cooking for the whole damn neighborhood.”
“You should have said something when I asked you earlier. You said yes babe invite anyone you want to, I’m in a cooking mood.” I mocked her as I imitated her voice. “If you had a problem, why not tell me before I invited someone else.”
“Whatever, I’m not arguing. There is no time to argue. I still have to cook all this shit.”
“I can help too Whitney. You have a shitty attitude today babe,” I rolled my eyes at her and grabbed the bell peppers from the bag.
“I looked through some of your work.” She blurted out.
“You did?” I hadn’t decided if I was angry or excited. Besides Mark and some professors there had not been any outside eyes on it. “Why?”
“You told me about it and ever since that guy was killed a few months back it had been irking me. You know your reaction that day was… odd.”
“Someone was murdered, was I supposed to act excited?”
“Asher, I mean you are acting like you knew it was about to happen.”
“I did not.” I thought back to the night. I jotted down notes. I made sure that I documented the date so I could observe his behavior. Lucas tended to have a ritual for the kill and after the kill. If he truly killed someone, then there would be a pattern.
“Right.” Whitney batted her eyes at me and crossed her arms. “I met Lucas once, it was a few years ago. He has been going here and at one point he was the campus celebrity. His book made millions and then on top of that he was handsome, or so they said. When I met him I could feel it. He was dark and he was the guy that gave looks that scared. He just seemed,” She paused. “He seemed cold.”
“I mean, okay. People have different vibes. You can’t punish the guy because he does not seem friendly. I’ve been hanging around him for a month or two and he seems nice.”
“I know he is the test study you are studying.” Whitney threw her hands up. “I know what psychopaths do.”
“How in the hell do you think you know?”
“I just know. He is sick and you should stop going around him. It is not worth it and you can make up shit and still get your doctoral degree. You can do that and be done with him.”
I pushed my hands through my hair and groaned. “You can’t tell me what to do with my research and most importantly, I am not going to let you dictate who I can and cannot be friends with. There is more to this story Whitney. It’s not all cut and dry like you want to believe it is.”
“You mean the pictures I found of the babies in your suitcase.”
“You went through my things?”
“I unpacked for you in California. I saw the pictures and I saw you in them with some woman who was not your mom.”
“Stop nosing through my shit please.” My father and my mother had decided that they no longer wanted to answer questions that regarded those photos. So I had done my own research and I had basically figured out that I was adopted and it opened a shit storm of a door that I wanted to get through. It was significant to me to find out who in the fuck I was in this world? If not Asher Langford, then who?
“Why are you inviting him here?”
“Because, we actually became friends. He is not a bad person.” I sat the table and watched her as she grabbed the food from the bags. “It's just one dinner and he has promised to be on his best behavior.”
“Great,” she mumbled. “Are you worried about those pictures?”
“My parents a dodging me Whit? I should be worried. I should be mad as hell. I just want to know the truth. I want to know everything so that for once in my life I will not feel like I am leading some false state of life.”
“You never told me you felt like that.”
She never asked. “Well, there you go.”
“Why do you want to know?”
“It's about knowing who I am in this world Whit. What if he is my brother and I can help him? You know, like I don't know. I would hate to know that there was someone else kin to me and I couldn't help.”
“You doubt your mom?”
“She won't let me have my birth certificate Whit.”
“For good reason may be. Maybe she didn't want you to turn out like him. He is a monster. I can see it when I look in his eyes. He has no soul and he barely smiles. He is not like you.”
“I’m not perfect Whitney. I have issues too.”
“Murder?”
“I never said that he murdered anyone. Just because he is a psychopath doesn't mean that he is a danger.”
“Keep fooling yourself like that. I just want you safe.”
“Thanks.” I stared at the picture. “I don't know who I am.”
“You are Asher. You are smart and caring and you don't need to waste your time here with him.”
“I hear you. But you will play nice while he is here.”
“Who is the other baby?” She pointed to the second picture.
“I haven't figured it out. I want to go to England and do some investigating myself. I feel like Lucas doesn't want to reveal that his mother was a liar.”
“There might be more to it.” Whitney walked away from
me and back to the food. “The girl he is with doesn't seem like his type.”
“He doesn't have a type and I actually believe that she makes him a better person.”
Whitney paused. “Are you still helping the Feds?”
“I’m gonna stop. He isn't a killer, he doesn't deserve to be harassed, he just needs to be helped. And I feel like I can help him.”
“Have you told them that?”
“Not yet, I have a meeting tomorrow and I plan on going ahead and telling them then.”
“Whatever you do, please be careful.”
“I will babe.”
“Good.”
Lucas
This was the absolute longest minute of my life. I paced the living room and waited for her to open the bathroom door. She had peed in front of my two million times, but the one time it was important she had slammed the door in my damned face. I leaned against the door and finally she opened it. “About bloody time.”
“I'm not.” She wiped her face.
“Whoa... what's wrong?”
“I kind of wanted to be.”
“Dear...” My heart beat slower as she sobbed into my chest. “Come on now, we have time. I swear I will knock you up one of these days.”
I doubted how good I would be at fatherhood. I was better at ending life rather than creating it, but it was fine. I rubbed her back and she shook in my arms. I say once again women are strange, strange creatures.
“I'm sorry.” Cypress sniffled. “I shouldn’t be acting like this you know? We just dodged a major bullet.”
“It’s not called dodging a bullet if it is something that want Cypress? You came out of that bathroom like you were hurt. Is this something that you want?” I asked.
“Yes.” I could barely make out what she said. Her head was buried in my chest and she sobbed. I hated to see her hurt.
“All you have to do is say it. But how can we be parents if you won't even allow me to buy your food or read the damn test with you. We should work on us then work on baby. I swear.”